Is "Transitioning" Cheating? When Going Natural

**naybesa** · 06-04-2011, 10:50 PM

hey everyone i havent posted up a discussion topic in a little bit so i thought i would post about this topic. let be real, everyone has their own opinion on whether or not people should transition for a long time [long time meaning like a year or two maybe even 8months] so that you dont have to worry about having a TWA and instead and skip right to collar bone or something around there, or should you just get it over with and do the BC.
the reason for this discussion topic is because today while on the phone with a friend she asked is transitioning "cheating" and i said no, because if you dont want short hair then you shouldnt do the BC. along with all the drama that comes with the BC. i see it this way, going natural is already a big step so when you go natural and you pretty much have no hair your really going to get looked at in a different light and if you dont have that confidence to make people be like "hey your hair looks cute short, i wish i could rock my hair like that" then maybe a BC isnt for you lol. in other words i feel that its all about preference, if your used to having long hair you might wait longer before you BC but if you dont mind like me, then just go on ahead and get it out the way.
we didnt really get into a big conversation on whether it is cheating or not i kind of just gave my thoughts on it and that was pretty much the end of it and we started talking about something on a whole different topic [yall know how we do when on the phone lol]
so i want to know your HONEST and when i say HONEST i do mean HONEST opinion on wether or not you think Transitioning is cheating.
if you think it's cheating, i want you to say HELL YA ITS CHEATING and why, if you feel like NO ITS NOT want u to say so and why. because i think this is something that gets a lot of transitioners caught up, because some people say you should wait a while others say you shouldnt and then their sitting there looking crazy like i dont know if its bad if i cut off my hair now or later.

with that being said LET GET THIS CONVO STARTED

**ladyscorpian14** · 06-04-2011, 11:15 PM

For me my personal belief its cheating I believe in building the foundation and going up from there yes I hate how short my hair is right now but I really want to see the real me and once you let go off the fear of what other people feel about you it will all be alright. everyone has there preference mind is my fro I love having an afro my dream is to have a big giant red afro!

**KoilyLocGirl** · 06-04-2011, 11:22 PM

Nah it's not cheating. "Going natural" is something one is n the process of doing. "gone natural" is something that's been done already. So for me transitioning (it's the ing really) means something that one is in the process of doing.

Without all the semantics though, I still don't think it's cheating. It is as the OP stated, a preference. If you know you can't handle the short hair, that it's going to make you uncomfortable, then by all means transition for as long as you want. If you want to do the BC and jump right in, do that.

**CottonCrown** · 06-04-2011, 11:29 PM

I don't see how it could be considered cheating. Whether you BC or transition, you're not putting any more chemicals on your hair, so what's the difference? Your new, natural growth is thriving just the same, whether or not there are still relaxed ends attached.

Now, a transitioner is not yet fully NATURAL, because she still has relaxed ends, while someone who did the big chop IS now fully natural. Is that what you mean by "cheating"?

**naybesa** · 06-04-2011, 11:30 PM

Originally Posted by ladyscorpian14

For me my personal belief its cheating I believe in building the foundation and going up from there yes I hate how short my hair is right now but I really want to see the real me and once you let go off the fear of what other people feel about you it will all be alright. everyone has there preference mind is my fro I love having an afro my dream is to have a big giant red afro!

not saying ur wrong or right just getting the conversation going, what if they just dont like short hair??? do you feel like they should just get over it and BC anyways. if yes that's fine but why?

**chocodoll** · 06-04-2011, 11:35 PM

Hell yeah it's cheating if a transitioner is claiming to be natural when they still have relaxer in their hair. A transitioner is a transitioner is a transitioner.

**AmirahJasmine** · 06-04-2011, 11:36 PM

I don't think it's cheating. Everyone has to start their journey somewhere, and each journey is unique. Whether you hold on to the training wheels (which is what i did) or just have the courage to jump straight in with no inhibitions (Which I did not), it's all a unique journey to you and you alone. Some of us have to crawl before we walk. Some skip crawling and walking and go straight to running! LOL

You can build a strong foundation by transitioning, because you still learn about your hair in various stages. You learn about the different textures, and patience is a big lesson you learn when you transition. I would hate to chop it all off and end up hating how short my hair was. Why put myself through that? Some people need to take it slow, and take the time to transition their mind along with their hair. When some people jump straight into the BC (which I also think is the start to a beautiful journey) they leave themselves with no other choice but to accept what they have (if they haven't already done so) Would you rather have someone feel insecure because they bc'd, and put in braid extentsions because they were uncomfortable? or have someone transition and love their hair, whether is was shorter or longer, and not go for that option, because they took the time?

In the end, there are two types of people (there may be more! LOL)
-The women who choose to transition before they bc
-The women who choose not to transition before

Both of these types have completely different journies, and it's selfish to say it's cheating, because that just tells me that someone thinks my journey during my transition wasn't as important, significant, or inspiring as theirs.

In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with either choice. But i don't beleive transitioning is cheating.

Sorry for the long rant. :P

**naybesa** · 06-04-2011, 11:37 PM

Originally Posted by CottonCrown

I don't see how it could be considered cheating. Whether you BC or transition, you're not putting any more chemicals on your hair, so what's the difference? Your new, natural growth is thriving just the same, whether or not there are still relaxed ends attached.

Now, a transitioner is not yet fully NATURAL, because she still has relaxed ends, while someone who did the big chop IS now fully natural. Is that what you mean by "cheating"?

i agree with u

and what she meant by cheating is the simple fact that they dont have to deal with the short hair and once u do bc u have long hair right off the bat. she feels like u should have to go through the short hair part of the journey and then grow ur hair long

**naybesa** · 06-04-2011, 11:39 PM

Originally Posted by chocodoll

Hell yeah it's cheating if a transitioner is claiming to be natural when they still have relaxer in their hair. A transitioner is a transitioner is a transitioner.

lol well if they are trying to claim full natural yea its misleading thats for sure ive seen plenty of youtubers that get busted up for having those long stringy ends and calling their selfs 1 years natural we be like u a damn lie lol

**AmirahJasmine** · 06-04-2011, 11:41 PM

Originally Posted by chocodoll

Hell yeah it's cheating if a transitioner is claiming to be natural when they still have relaxer in their hair. A transitioner is a transitioner is a transitioner.

LOL yea! I agree with this point. I never told anyone i was natural. I always said I was GOING natural! When I see a transitioner saying they're natural they get a question mark from me (not that it's any business of mine, maybe they're natural at heart?)

**naybesa** · 06-04-2011, 11:43 PM

@AmirahJasmine dont be sorry i agree and u said it very well

**law** · 06-05-2011, 01:27 AM

Don't think it is cheating at all. So if you do shave your head but wear head wraps until it is 3" (hypothetical length) then you didn't go natural correctly? doesn't make sense to me. I did transition but not because I did not like short hair (I have had short hair many times before). I made the decision to stop relaxing and to stop being tortured by hair dressers (very, very tender headed). I cut of the relaxed hair every month or so by the end of it all I had about 4" which is not exactly long hair.

I think going natural is different for everybody and there is not a wrong way to do it.

**Mindfulone31** · 06-05-2011, 01:40 AM

Right Amirah. I am transitioning (for another 13 days lol) and I have never said to anyone "oh i'm natural now" bc I know for a fact I am not. I have relaxed ends, why play myself with that statement lol. Most people ask me what transitioning is like and I tell them what it is for me. I always state "probably in a year or at most 15 mos I will be all natural and get these scraggly ends cut off" As of JUNE 17 I will be all natural!! whoooooooooohoooooooo!!

**AfroIsland** · 06-05-2011, 02:19 AM

I don't think transitioning is cheating because I think that it requires an amount of patience and skill that BCing does not require. The word "cheating" implies that somethings easy and I would say that transitioning is anything but that

. I also don't understand how having short/no hair signifies being more connected to yourself if the hair is yours anyway

. I BC'd down to 1 inch of hair, and although I loved every step, if I had to do it again, I would try to transition for at least a over a year. Also a couple of my hair idols transitioned for 2 years+ and they retained insane amounts of hair while doing it.

**lin19lyn** · 06-05-2011, 02:34 AM

Not cheating...transitioning and the big chop both get you to the same place, all-natural hair.

**Impy!** · 06-05-2011, 02:37 AM

easy way out.
to each their own

**Lockolatte** · 06-05-2011, 02:52 AM

No, transitioning is not cheating. It gives a person time to learn how to work with their real texture while gradually cutting off the stringy ends.

**tip757** · 06-05-2011, 03:34 AM

I hate short hair, in my opinion its not versitile. Rocking a low cut was out of the question for me. Just because you hate short hair and transitiob for a couple of years does not make you a cheater. Its just that simple, some people prefer a twa while others prefer a BAA.

**Intellexual** · 06-05-2011, 04:28 AM

This is neither a game nor a contested war. While transitioning, I got stabbed up, had locs for a year, beat a murder case, wrote a couple of books, wrote dozens of songs, quit smoking, got rid of toxic associates, helped half a dozen young black males avoid getting themselves fried over a nationally sensationalized "child rape" that never happened.

It's not cheating and people who choose otherwise are not more hardcore than I am. I had other things to worry about and did just fine without making a choice hastily, in that regard. I've faced real judges and life or death decisions, if folks want to make up rules for transitioning, so be it. However, for now, it's not a game and when it's war, I'm going to win.

**CinnamonBiscuit** · 06-05-2011, 05:30 AM

Nope, I don't consider it as 'cheating'. It's SUPPOSED to be getting back to one's natural texture. It's not a permanent phase.

But I do make the

face when people talk about transitioning or being 'natural' and they're still making their hair straight, because in my opinion they're NOT, and I just find it to be confusing and illogical.