Stop Saying Natural Hair is Hard

[CoilyHairedBeauty]

I just posted this on YouTube. I talked about how it can be discouraging to prospective naturals when they hear people say "Natural hair is hard." That's a generalization. I say, expect some trial and error when going natural. You have to learn your hair and find a regimen. Then.... What's hard? You'll know exactly what you're doing.

I mentioned that there are a ton of resources out there as far as regimens and techniques. There's a good regimen out there for you.

But.....

Am I generalizing by saying natural hair is not hard with the right regimen?

I don't think so, because once you find a regimen that WORKS (not one that causes you headache) then it would no longer be difficult. Sigh. See I what I'm saying? Like, if you are struggling with any aspect of hair care, then maybe all you need is a new regimen.


There are many methods of detangling, styling, etc, that could possibly help.

Anyway, here's the video.

[LuvJones]

Yes you are generalizing IMO. I have been natural for almost a decade, but I am not a styling maven. There were times I wanted my loose hair and my locs to LOOK a certain way but I just didn't/don't have a talent for styling and hair care. So for some chicks it is a struggle, but I didn't give up and I worked it the best I knew how...and I wasn't afraid to look "crazy" either.

[bhop13]

I think this annoys me when the people that say it are the ones that haven't been natural long or never work with their texture enough to figure something out.

I do think saying just find a new regimen when it gets hard is a bit much. A lot of folks do not or can't spend the time, money, or energy on finding a new regimen. I do not like doing my hair and I won't hesitate to tell someone that.

If me saying that or someone saying natural hair is hard is enough to deter someone then maybe they need to think about why they want to go/stay natural. There are plenty of hard things in life but you suck it up and push through if it's what you want.

[CinnamonBiscuit]

It's true. Natural hair is NOT hard. People just think it is because they've only been taught how to handle straight hair, and natural hair is the exact opposite of that.

[soapinphilly]

But isn't it a generalization in the other direction...I have the peezy PEEZY hair gene...I have that hard, dry red ashy hair and it pisses me off when those with softer grades start talking about natural hair is easy. Yes it is easy when you can grease and go...it should have been easy for those folks...but I had to big chop in 1978, in high school because straightening was so painful...I've been dreaded since the 1980's out of neecessity...I think there is a difference between folks doing stuff to be cute...and those of us with nappy-azz hair who have no other choice

[LBellatrix]

Wow...it's really been 16 months since your last BC? Seems like it was yesterday...Also, I haven't gone to your YT page but have you gotten the "Oh, but you've got GOOD hair so of course it's easy for YOU" comment yet?

What I keep saying is that there is a LEARNING CURVE involved with natural hair care that often involves self-experimentation (because the average stylist still doesn't understand how natural hair care works). I like how you broke it down into three basic components. Within each one of those you can find what works best for you and your hair IF you have the time and patience to do so. Like bhop, I get annoyed when women who never really gave it time make a general statement about natural hair care being hard. No, baby, it was hard FOR YOU...and maybe if you'd given it time you might have found something that works for you.

Another big hurdle I think people have is understanding what their particular hair (texture, length) is capable of. I recently commented on MahoganyCurls' "5 tips" video that I do just about every tip she mentions, my hair is healthier and longer than ever, and it's still mostly-4b. And right after that she came out with a "Accept your hair texture" video... I'm sure some of her viewership consists of people who think that they can somehow transform their hair texture into something resembling hers.

I used to have a sig that earned me a little controversy; it said something to the effect of "Natural hair care isn't rocket science." I stand by that statement. Hell, even rocket scientists had to go to school to become rocket scientists.

[AfroIsland]

I don't like the "natural hair is hard" thing either, but I know for some people (initially a lot of people) it is hard. I was feeling some kind of way about my hair, and I spewed off a list of natural hair woes to my sister. Afterward, she straight up said, "Are you sure you want to be natural?" Sometimes I get caught up in wanting some kind of mythical hair life where ssk and tangles don't exist, shrinkage is only 20%, and I don't need to labor over a twistout just to be able to manipulate dry hair. But then I suck it up and get over it because to what it takes to get to that dream world isn't worth it.

I think people need to be more specific. Your natural hair is hard for you is no longer a generalization of natural hair as a whole. I do have somewhat of an issue though when others try to argue that someone's hair isn't hard when their not the ones dealing with it . Sometimes it's not the person, it's their hair or scalp that is causing the problem. Also, when someone suggests that locing is the only way to make your hair manageable, I have flashbacks of relaxer conversations .

[CoilyHairedBeauty]

Wow...it's really been 16 months since your last BC? Seems like it was yesterday...Also, I haven't gone to your YT page but have you gotten the "Oh, but you've got GOOD hair so of course it's easy for YOU" comment yet?

In real life, a couple of people here and there have said that....im like "there is no such thing as good hair; you just have to work with what you have. Well I used to say that, but now, I don't engage ppl in convos about hair. Can't. LOL

As far as YouTube, I wish somebody would come at me crazy. I do sense that people feel like certain youtubers don't have a right to talk about "the struggle" b/c their hair isn't nappy enough. Bull crap.

That makes ppl look like hypocrites, bc it's like women with looser textures are supposed to keep their mouths shut (cause they supposedly have it easy) yet at the same time they have tons of subbies who envy their hair. Ugh.

Where does it end?

[LBellatrix]

Sometimes I get caught up in wanting some kind of mythical hair life where ssk and tangles don't exist, shrinkage is only 20%, and I don't need to labor over a twistout just to be able to manipulate dry hair. But then I suck it up and get over it because to what it takes to get to that dream world isn't worth it.

You know how much I'm in love with WNGs...or, rather, the concept of the WNG. At least nowadays I CAN do it at this length if I'm willing to put in the work of applying products; I'm grateful to various YTers for showing the way. However, I confess I've thought about what I could do to cut down the application time and still have my length and really the only option I can see is getting some kind of chemical alteration. And as soon as I even think that I start getting ghost-memories of perm smell and perm burns and...yeah, it's not happening.

I think people need to be more specific. Your natural hair is hard for you is no longer a generalization of natural hair as a whole. I do have somewhat of an issue though when others try to argue that someone's hair isn't hard when their not the ones dealing with it . Sometimes it's not the person, it's their hair or scalp that is causing the problem.

I found out on another board that mwedzi -- one of the 4b/4c online hair legends -- has cut her hair. The way she used to describe caring for it when it was longer had me going on a few occasions. By that I mean: Sure, it was thick and lush and long but to be ULTRA-tenderheaded on top of that? No ma'am...I'da cut it a long time ago...or locked it or something. But that's ME. If my hair gets to a length where it's taking me half the day just to detangle, or 3 days to dry...no ma'am. IF natural hair gets hard FOR ME, then I'll change...but unlike a lot of folks, "change" probably won't mean "relaxer" or "locs"; it'll probably mean "scissors."

[MsNadia524]

It was hard for me until I had the guts to loc mine up. Once my hair loced up it was a wrap. I want loose hair at times, but I don't have the time or patience to deal with all the extra. Ive washed and set my hair every week or two for almost a decade and that's it. Now that I'm free forming it's even easier.

Overall, I get where the op is coming from, but it's simply a learning curve. I was familiar with my natural hair type when I bc'd but I didn't know how time consuming it would be to have long loose hair so I made a choice. I wanted length but was unwilling to spend time getting it with loose hair. I think the hard part is making a choice and deciding what we really want from our hair. Once I got over the dissappointment of not having a huge fluffy fro, life was easier in the hair department.

[AfroIsland]

I found out on another board that mwedzi -- one of the 4b/4c online hair legends -- has cut her hair. The way she used to describe caring for it when it was longer had me going on a few occasions. By that I mean: Sure, it was thick and lush and long but to be ULTRA-tenderheaded on top of that? No ma'am...I'da cut it a long time ago...or locked it or something. But that's ME. If my hair gets to a length where it's taking me half the day just to detangle, or 3 days to dry...no ma'am. IF natural hair gets hard FOR ME, then I'll change...but unlike a lot of folks, "change" probably won't mean "relaxer" or "locs"; it'll probably mean "scissors."

I shed a tear when Mwedzi posted that thread. But she still struggles with dealing with her hair and she has a TWA!! What do you do when your hair takes forever to do and deal with when there's only a few inches of it. For some the struggle is no joke .

[Whitley Gilbert]

Will someone please post or pm me a link to Mwdezi's news please?

[bhop13]

In real life, a couple of people here and there have said that....im like "there is no such thing as good hair; you just have to work with what you have. Well I used to say that, but now, I don't engage ppl in convos about hair. Can't. LOL

As far as YouTube, I wish somebody would come at me crazy. I do sense that people feel like certain youtubers don't have a right to talk about "the struggle" b/c their hair isn't nappy enough. Bull crap.

That makes ppl look like hypocrites, bc it's like women with looser textures are supposed to keep their mouths shut (cause they supposedly have it easy) yet at the same time they have tons of subbies who envy their hair. Ugh.

Where does it end?

It doesn't.

Christmas day I sat at a table and listened to someone tell their daughter (a 2 year old) over and over again, jokingly, that their hair was “hard stuff." She was laughing and talking about how she acts when she gets her hair done. 2 is old enough to start to understand what that means...my hair=bad. I felt so bad for that child. This is the beginning of her good hair/bad hair issues and she has her mother to thank.

We are teaching and reinforcing these beliefs...it may get better but it'll never end.

[deecoily]

It doesn't.

Christmas day I sat at a table and listened to someone tell their daughter (a 2 year old) over and over again, jokingly, that their hair was “hard stuff." She was laughing and talking about how she acts when she gets her hair done. 2 is old enough to start to understand what that means...my hair=bad. I felt so bad for that child. This is the beginning of her good hair/bad hair issues and she has her mother to thank.

We are teaching and reinforcing these beliefs...it may get better but it'll never end.

^^^That right there. We are witness time and time again to people (often female role models, mothers, aunts, grands...) reinforcing the negative beliefs about our hair. Our daughters do not need to hear this during their formative years. Or at all, ever for that matter, especially from the women they will mold their lives and values on.

We wonder how we got to this place? I can tell you that - but more importantly I can also tell you how we are managing to stagnate here in misinformation and shame. Just look around.

~Dee~

[Fuzziwuz]

People have different hair experiences, and hair care in general is difficult when you're uncertain on how to care for your mane, limited time, patience and/or money to figure out what works. It's easy to tell the next it isn't difficult when little is required to maintain your hair and another individual has challenges. Secondly, it's discouraging for newbies to go natural or continue the path when some veterans are reluctant to share information due to their own personal reasons, ie: hair typing. Some women, including myself, prefer to narrow down by hair type - saves time & money. But when others refuse or suggest they take time to read lengthy posts, the options: be persistent or quit. Searching & stalking takes time. Trying various methods with women who don't share your type cost money. Then once you find the info, then the real challenge begins and that can take a minimum of 4 hours in my experience. My issue is finding the right products for my hair type (3 different grades & patterns), for changes of climate/season, detangling/knots, simplified methods that's cost effective and cuts time. And I stress time because I don't have much of it... the reason why I gave up relaxing because it was an all day project, and once I sweat... that's money down the drain. As long as I look presentable, styling was the least of my worries. Ironically, natural... I get more compliments styling than ever before... so I guess i'm doing something right. Natural hair care is challenging for me and i'm still encountering obstacles, but it cuts down my time overall which is important with my hair care in general. What I try to implement with aspiring naturals.... answer questions, no matter how small or tedious, refer them to this website and encourage.

[Fuzziwuz]

^^^That right there. We are witness time and time again to people (often female role models, mothers, aunts, grands...) reinforcing the negative beliefs about our hair. Our daughters do not need to hear this during their formative years. Or at all, ever for that matter, especially from the women they will mold their lives and values on.

What do we say when we witness? Do we mind our business or educate and uplift? Sometimes I think some don't even realize what they're saying or the message sent once corrected/deconditioned.

[QueenLocks]

Some styles take MORE Time than other styles.
you can get two braids in your hair, with or without ext. and it will be a whole lot quicker than 400 plus micro-braids!

The same with locks: You can have Organic freeform locks {which is usually around 20 - 55 locks on your head} or Micro-locks {300 plus locks! which takes MUCH more time!}.
There are some styles like the TWA that take less than 5 minutes a day! The choice is YOURS!!!!

[Earthen~Blossom]

Natural hair isn't very hard for me most days. Once I understood "never loose and wet" and moisture/protein balance, I was good. I've never experienced hour long detangling sessions, even though I'm a type 4 and people describe that as the most "difficult" texture. I don't think that people should proclaim or imply that natural hair is hard for everyone. People who aren't troubled by their hair are probably less vocal, so IMO there's biased information out there about how hard it is.

For some reason, it seems that naturals often tend to feel the need to speak for each other. It's important not to invalidate the experiences of those who struggle with their hair; if someone says their hair is difficult to care for, I believe them (why wouldn't I?). At the same time, it's not possible to make a definitive statement about whether natural hair is "hard" or not. Everyone's experience is unique. We could all benefit from less generalization.

p.s. also curious to read mwedzi's news if anyone knows where to find it

[Mikalia42]

This may have already been said in one form or another, but I feel the notion that natural hair is "hard" is subjective. Obviously, not all people have a hard time learning how to take care of and style their hair. Everyone's learning curve is different and in my opinion, based on how their hair was handled over the course of their lives up until the decision to transition or big chop. MY learning curve was relatively low, because I'd already been maintaining my own hair since I was a teenager. It was nothing to me to change the nature of my products and styling habits once I chose to big chop. The same can be said of some of us on here. However, in the case of many women who simply don't know how to maintain their own hair for whatever reason ("lived" in the salon, mom/aunt/female guardian always did it, no time to do it themselves, etc), the curve has the potential to be very steep. In regard to those women, yes, natural hair can be hard TO THEM because it really is new territory to navigate. It's like asking a new driver with a fresh license to drive across Europe. They're going to be lost at first. Some will stay lost for a very long time. Some will learn their way quickly. Some will learn their way later on. It's all up to the individual. If they don't want to learn, they can't be forced, and telling them "stop making this hard" is discouraging as well as a bit condescending. We all had to learn at one point. Just because we found ways to make it easier before they did, doesn't mean they'll do the same right away. And yes, while I too get annoyed with the noobs at times, I give them a break because they're still learning. They should give themselves a break as well and see the journey for the path and not an idealized destination.

[lusciousnapsnkinks]

Everyone has their own experience.
1. ITA with what another has stated, some hair styles take longer than others. You decide how much time that you want to invest in styling ur hair everyday.
2. Also, yes, I don't like when other woman that have my texture hair say that it's difficult, but that's only the one that have relaxed hair and the same ones that I'm talking about have never dealt with their hair in its natural state.
3. I can also understand why a new natural may want to describe her hair as difficult too bc I know that they are in the process of figuring out what it needs and when it needs it. (Even-though, new naturals are often busy trying to make their hair do what it won't and yes, I will admit that I've been there. )

just woosah OP. ��