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Chocolate CurlyGirl
04-29-2009, 05:34 PM
Okay yall, so I had a bout of spring fever and wanted to have a bit of change with my hair. I got my hair cut and also got a dominican blowout. My grandmother&#39;s birthday was this past weekend so i went to visit. She told me that she loved my hair and I "looked like a person", opposed to when she saw me with my fro. I was like :huh: :rolleyes: My aunt chimed in and stated that she is sure my hair looks great however I wear it (She hasn&#39;t seen my napptural hair, she lives out of state and rarely comes home). I told my grandmother not to get used to it because that was the first time my hair had been blown out in a year and it won&#39;t be happening again anytime soon. She stated that she just doesn&#39;t like my natural hair and that it looks like it needs to be combed. I told her that when I look in the mirror, the person looking back at me is ME, not her so basically I didn&#39;t care what she thought about my hair. Yall as soon as I got home on Sunday, I washed my hair. Then when I got to work, one of my co-workers was like, what was up with my hair (I wore it in a puff). I was like, sweetie I am natural and I will not have my hair straight on a regular basis. She didn&#39;t say anything else. I am just so tired of black people thinking something is wrong with wearing natural hair. Also, that they have the gall to tell someone else what to do with their hair. The amount of compliments I received after the blowout were CRAZY, I never have been complimented on my hair like that in it&#39;s napptural state. The school resource officer told me I should wear my hair like that all of the time. I gave him the <_< It really annoyed me which is why the curls are already back. I march to the beat of my own drum, folks better recognize lol.

kira23
04-29-2009, 05:45 PM
Sorry to hear you had to put up with all of that. I think you and your natural are beautiful and you keep right on marching to your own beat. If all they have to focus on is your hair then they must be jealous of it. POWER to the PUFF! :afro:

MissEmbrya
04-29-2009, 05:55 PM
You&#39;re cute.
Your hair is cute.
Anyway that you wear it.
:)

kinkelady
04-29-2009, 06:00 PM
The amount of compliments I received after the blowout were CRAZY, I never have been complimented on my hair like that in it&#39;s napptural state. The school resource officer told me I should wear my hair like that all of the time. I gave him the <_< It really annoyed me which is why the curls are already back. I march to the beat of my own drum, folks better recognize lol.[/b]

^^ :clap: ^^
I went through the same situation when I had my hair pressed after 4 years of being natural. The compliments didn&#39;t make me feel good at all because it was if persons were trying to convey that they didn&#39;t like my natural hair. :angry: I couldn&#39;t wait to wash that greasy, burnt-smelling press-n-curl right outta my hair without regard to how much I paid for it! It felt so good to have my napps back, and I made sure "the others" knew it, too! :Cool_049:

prncsstaylor
04-29-2009, 06:00 PM
Dang. I&#39;m not even going to reference the comments. LOL@ you rushing to wash your hair tho.

Girl, you know what the deal is - do you.

mamaprincess
04-29-2009, 06:10 PM
Ah the foolishness. I wish more people would have the nerve to talk crazy to me like that. I live to check fools. :lol:

If I ran into you after seeing you natural (you are gorgeous natural btw) with some straight hair, I would probably have given you my unwanted and un-needed (not a word but go with me here) two cents on how much prettier you are nappy because I do not prefer straight hair on naturally nappy people. I&#39;m sure I wouldn&#39;t think you were doing the damn thing with your hair straight. Then you would have had to tell me to mind my own bleeping business. :lol:

LBellatrix
04-29-2009, 06:29 PM
Unlike most black folks I recognize all hairstyling choices as just that...choices. (Most black folks SAY something (like, say, perming) is "just a choice" but then they&#39;ll turn around and dog someone for choosing to do something different (like, say, NOT perming).)

However, I haven&#39;t had my hair heat-straightened since right before I started locking (2003). Even though I&#39;ve been back to loose hair since 2007, I admit that one of the main reasons why I haven&#39;t straightened to date is because I&#39;m annoyed with the presumption that straight hair is "normal."

I too remember getting all those compliments when I would straighten my hair...they acted like I&#39;d won the beauty lottery or something. I&#39;ve always been a nonconfrontational person but at my age I&#39;d probably tell someone to go eff themselves if they tried that ish on me. And they&#39;d be all :huh: because they&#39;d be thinking they&#39;d paid me a compliment! <_<

Tanzie
04-29-2009, 06:58 PM
I wish more people would have the nerve to talk crazy to me like that. I live to check fools. [/b]
side note: i love this u mind if i put in my siggy? :D

neway choco your very pretty and your hair iz bomb. folks these days are just too damn bold in da mouf for my peace of mind. Summer is comin(im in the desert) and if people just start talk bullisht in this heat? someone is bound to be hurt :rolleyes:

gilroygal
04-29-2009, 07:04 PM
I posted something similar after wearing a straight wig to work. I mean, I had men ALL UP IN MY OFFICE GAWKING. I have a man, so I am VERY happy as far as that goes. However, it DID bother me that the only thing (seemingly) standing between me and BEAUTY was my kinks. HOWEVER, fast forward to today and I am TOTALLY OKAY with the fact that not EVERYONE can get with kinky hair. With that said, if I ever (and I HAVE NOT IN 5 YEARS) chose to straighten my hair, regardless of the fact that people would be falling all over themselves, I would rock that look FOR ME if that&#39;s what I wanted. I am SURE that they were just speaking from the heart. TRULY, Blacks have a LONG way to go toward TOTAL KINKY acceptance.

On another note...I get FAR MORE compliments when I stretch my hair (though it is still kinky) probably due to the fact that it does not look AS KINKY and therefore not as offensive to most people. My hair in its SHRUNKEN state IS OFFENSIVE to MOST PEOPLE and I am okay with that because at the end of the day they DO NOT have to DEAL WITH what I have to go through to get my hair to LOOK a certain way.

swingbolder
04-29-2009, 07:40 PM
Lately I&#39;ve been alternating between wearing my hair in 1) a humongous chunky fro which everyone oohs and ahs over because it&#39;s so "exotic" and 2) the type of style you see little girls wearing, where the hair is made into 5-8 big braids and then secured with those colored, plastic ball hair bands. I don&#39;t wear the plastic bands though just the braids. :)

I guess it&#39;s a very old-fashioned style harkening back to the days before black women straightened their hair because clearly, people think it&#39;s inappropriate for a black female over the edge of 10 to be wearing their hair like that. You should see the type of looks I get, it&#39;s like I walked out the house in my underwear or something. Unfit for public viewing.

Sometimes it is so hard to believe how messed up our attitudes are towards our hair.

Chocolate CurlyGirl
04-29-2009, 09:47 PM
You&#39;re cute.
Your hair is cute.
Anyway that you wear it.
:)
[/b]


Thanks sis! :blush:



side note: i love this u mind if i put in my siggy? :D

neway choco your very pretty and your hair iz bomb. folks these days are just too damn bold in da mouf for my peace of mind. Summer is comin(im in the desert) and if people just start talk bullisht in this heat? someone is bound to be hurt :rolleyes:
[/b]

Thank you!

I just wish mentalities would change, and my grandmother wonders why I rarely visit. Pfft...

Bambata
04-30-2009, 01:18 AM
dang that sux. it happens sometimes, i wouldn&#39;t focus on it though. there are plenty of people who probably love your hair, but are not bold enough to say so. There are people who don&#39;t really get it, but you can&#39;t please everyone. sometimes black people just don&#39;t like natural hair, and sometimes they jsut don&#39;t like the fact that you are bold enough (read: confident enough) to wear it. Those people sometimes are the first to come and knock you down a peg or two.

I found that when i worked in the hotel service industry, there were more people that were uncomfortable with my hair. I worked with a few gay black/white/hispanic males, and they were the ones that didnt care for my natural hair the most. looking back i can see that they were not the most confident, secure people. if you study the people that make the most negative comments about your hair, you might find a similar trend.

LadyLibra
04-30-2009, 02:04 AM
amazing.

still cracks me up how EVERYONE who has met me post-BC thinks my natural hair suits me better than anything. not that they don&#39;t like the straight-hair look on me; most say i can pull off any look (short to long, blonde to jet black, straight to nappy), but my natural hair fits me best. my family and a good solid third of people i grew up with saw me with straight hair for 16 years... compare that to only 4 years of seeing me with my natural hair. i understood it would take them time to adjust and realize i was serious about my choice. and some will never accept it... which is their problem, not mine. :P

i love my hair, and that&#39;s what really matters. :wub:

amookie1209@yahoo.com
04-30-2009, 03:02 AM
dang that sux. it happens sometimes, i wouldn&#39;t focus on it though. there are plenty of people who probably love your hair, but are not bold enough to say so. There are people who don&#39;t really get it, but you can&#39;t please everyone. sometimes black people just don&#39;t like natural hair, and sometimes they jsut don&#39;t like the fact that you are bold enough (read: confident enough) to wear it. Those people sometimes are the first to come and knock you down a peg or two.

I found that when i worked in the hotel service industry, there were more people that were uncomfortable with my hair. I worked with a few gay black/white/hispanic males, and they were the ones that didnt care for my natural hair the most. looking back i can see that they were not the most confident, secure people. if you study the people that make the most negative comments about your hair, you might find a similar trend.
[/b]


I agree. I&#39;ve noticed in life that most people who were overly critical, constructive, or negative towards me for whatever reason were insecure themselves and only tried to break me down in order to make themselves feel better. They were happy to see me happy or confident so they had to break my spirit and thus make themselves feel/look good in the process. It took a while to learn that. Now I know it&#39;s just hate, and I just simply laugh at them and keep on kicking. I won&#39;t let them knock me off my swagga! LOL! So you just rock ruff and stuff with your Afro puff! Rock on with yo bad self! :lol:

ayana862004
04-30-2009, 01:42 PM
Okay yall, so I had a bout of spring fever and wanted to have a bit of change with my hair. I got my hair cut and also got a dominican blowout. My grandmother&#39;s birthday was this past weekend so i went to visit. She told me that she loved my hair and I "looked like a person", opposed to when she saw me with my fro. I was like :huh: :rolleyes: My aunt chimed in and stated that she is sure my hair looks great however I wear it (She hasn&#39;t seen my napptural hair, she lives out of state and rarely comes home). I told my grandmother not to get used to it because that was the first time my hair had been blown out in a year and it won&#39;t be happening again anytime soon. She stated that she just doesn&#39;t like my natural hair and that it looks like it needs to be combed. I told her that when I look in the mirror, the person looking back at me is ME, not her so basically I didn&#39;t care what she thought about my hair. Yall as soon as I got home on Sunday, I washed my hair. Then when I got to work, one of my co-workers was like, what was up with my hair (I wore it in a puff). I was like, sweetie I am natural and I will not have my hair straight on a regular basis. She didn&#39;t say anything else. I am just so tired of black people thinking something is wrong with wearing natural hair. Also, that they have the gall to tell someone else what to do with their hair. The amount of compliments I received after the blowout were CRAZY, I never have been complimented on my hair like that in it&#39;s napptural state. The school resource officer told me I should wear my hair like that all of the time. I gave him the <_< It really annoyed me which is why the curls are already back. I march to the beat of my own drum, folks better recognize lol.
[/b]


dems fightin words in my book!! <_<

NeverGiveup
04-30-2009, 02:04 PM
Well now you know what they really think. I&#39;m sorry you were hurt.

Your experience is proof positive that straightening the hair is not recieved as "just a styling option."

Bell Hooks says it best:
"There are times when I think about straightening my hair just to change my style, just for fun. Then I remind myself that even though such a gesture could be simply playful on my part, an individual expression of desire, I know that such a gesture would carry other implications beyond my control. The reality is: straightened hair is linked historically and currently to a system of racial domination that impresses upon black people, and especially black women, that we are not acceptable as we are, that we are not beautiful. to make such a gesture as an expression of individual freedom and choice would make me complicit with a politic or domination that hurts us. It is easy to surrender this freedom. It is more important that black women resist racism and sexism in every way: that every aspect of our self-representation be a fierce resistance, a radical celelbration of our care and respect of ourselves."

Anyway, I&#39;m with NP--I don&#39;t support heat straightening--the Dominican Blow Out least of all.

Discodumpling
04-30-2009, 04:42 PM
All the gushing and insincere compliments I get with just a rollerset make me uncomfortable too...never mind when I flat flaming tool of torture it on occasion LOL!
It makes me wear my hair in natural styles more often...we have got to get people used to seeing the REAL!

OP about your Grandma...I just let people of a certain age say whatever they feel like; I figure they&#39;ve earned it & it&#39;s just up to me to filter the nonsense to receive the wisdom...

LadyBug13
04-30-2009, 06:25 PM
If I ran into you after seeing you natural (you are gorgeous natural btw) with some straight hair, I would probably have given you my unwanted and un-needed (not a word but go with me here) two cents on how much prettier you are nappy because I do not prefer straight hair on naturally nappy people. I&#39;m sure I wouldn&#39;t think you were doing the damn thing with your hair straight. Then you would have had to tell me to mind my own bleeping business. :lol:
[/b]

LOL. OP I would feel the same way to if I saw you with some s.traight hair. Whenever I see someone who normally has napps, wearing a st.raight style, it makes me give a <_< face, but then I start to feel a little sad in all honesty. :( And majority of the one I&#39;ve seen have the s.traight hair that most of us went natural to get away from: limp, dull, no life to it. But I have to realize that it&#39;d their decision in the end to style their hair whichever way they want.

It reminds me of two of my classmates. One usually wears a big puff, and one day I saw her with s.traight hair pulled back into a wrapped up ponytail. In a way, she still looked the same, but I was still sad. Another classmate, who I love to look at her hair (she usually wears this cool braided styled just using her own hair, or she&#39;ll wear a puff) was talking to another classmate, who has re.laxed hair. The re.laxed classmate asked her if she&#39;s ever worn her hair str.aight, and the natural classmate told her (and I was eavesdropping in their conversation, lol) that she doesn&#39;t st.raighten her hair because she doesn&#39;t have the time or patience to do so, and she didn&#39;t look interested in even trying. This was all last week. This week I see her with her hair st.raighten and I had another sad moment because she just looked "ordinary" to me. :(

J_K_R3
04-30-2009, 06:56 PM
Lately I&#39;ve been alternating between wearing my hair in 1) a humongous chunky fro which everyone oohs and ahs over because it&#39;s so "exotic" and 2) the type of style you see little girls wearing, where the hair is made into 5-8 big braids and then secured with those colored, plastic ball hair bands. I don&#39;t wear the plastic bands though just the braids. :)

I guess it&#39;s a very old-fashioned style harkening back to the days before black women straightened their hair because clearly, people think it&#39;s inappropriate for a black female over the edge of 10 to be wearing their hair like that. You should see the type of looks I get, it&#39;s like I walked out the house in my underwear or something. Unfit for public viewing.

Sometimes it is so hard to believe how messed up our attitudes are towards our hair.
[/b]

My girlfriend called me from walmart the other day to tell me she seen a lady in the store with "slave plaits". Thats how she described the hairstyle you are talking about. She is a p.ermie by the way and her hair is breaking off by the second :rolleyes:

rhoglnn
04-30-2009, 07:04 PM
I got that too when I straightened my hair 2 years ago. it was so annoying. I was thinking about doing it again for mother&#39;s day for my mom. When or if I do it I will make it a point to ignore the comments. If anyone says something insulting though... I guess I am a big advocate of you-don&#39;t-have-to-say-everything-that-comes-to-your-mouth.

Moderator Y
04-30-2009, 07:31 PM
Dominican "blowout" = styling with heat. Closed.