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View Full Version : Having a hard time coping wtih the loss of my grandmother



MsNikki
04-13-2003, 01:19 AM
My grandmother passed away March 24 and I am really feeling empty inside. She suffered a stroke last year and hadn't been the same since. She was 89 and left behind 6 children, 11 grand-children and 11 great grand-children. I am 31 and this is the first time that I have had to deal with the loss of loved one.

i have so many questions, but I guess I'll start with these: do our spirits live on for eternity? Do any of you believe in a heaven and a hell?

starchild
04-13-2003, 03:36 AM
sorry to hear about your loss. It sounds to me that your grandmother lived a long and full life. I believe that her soul is a rest and you should search for peace within yourself. Your grandmother will live on in your memories and in your heart. I believe in heaven and spirtual death (hell)

afrikankween
04-13-2003, 05:05 AM
as an afrikan woman please be rest assured that your grandmother just transcended to another plane, her spirit is not dead. she walks with you now and is one of the many ancestors you can call on to have your back and guide you through this world.her spirit has just transformed it did not die.

Curlysaurus
04-13-2003, 05:51 AM
your grandmother just transcended to another plane, her spirit is not dead. she walks with you now and is one of the many ancestors you can call on to have your back and guide you through this world.her spirit has just transformed it did not die.
This is my life outlook also.

Nikki, you have my prayers and understanding for your loss.
:pumpheart:

My husband's Mom was violently murdered last February 2002. But we both feel her peaceful and comforting presence day to day. We know she has not truly died. I believe that in a physical sense, and not just the sense of "she lives on in our memories."

I believe that our energies, our consciousnesses live on. Energy is never destroyed but transformed.

Peace to you

ollypitts2
04-13-2003, 06:50 AM
Nikki,

My condolences to you. Losing someone you loved very much can feel awful.

Your grand-mother's physical being is no longer with you, but you she lives in your heart and mind. She's also apart of everyone and everything that she encountered on the Earth. Her footsteps on the ground and her breath in the air have solidified her presence among us.

When my father died a few years ago, I was so sad that I could barely stand to think of him. Just remembering his life seemed to remind me of the loss and all of the unspoken feelings I had for him. Eventually, I was able to think of him without falling to pieces by reminding myself that his body was gone, but his presence could be found everywhere that I looked, if I searched with my mind and heart, and not my just my eyes.

I'm not a believer in spirits or life beyond our time here in this universe, but I do know that no matter is ever destroyed, it just changes form. I kind of think of human death in the same way. I didn't come to this conclusion overnight. Its taken years, of experiencing incredible suffering and grieving and reflecting upon what I know to be true for me intellectually and emotionally.

The pain of any significant loss can feel unbearable. The only way to work through it is to go through it. Share your feelings with others who understand how your feeling and can really support you. The feelings will lessen in intensity over time, but not before you let yourself experience them. They're normal and to be expected. Try to be wherever you are in your mourning. Its all part of a natural human process.

I'll keep you in my thoughts.

elleebeme5
04-13-2003, 12:39 PM
The physical body is gone. Her spirit and your memories of her will live forever. I pray that you both will be reunited in Heaven at the appointed hour.

EarthTones
04-13-2003, 06:44 PM
Ms. Nikki...

Please accept my sincerest condolences for the loss of your grandmother.

Your grandmother's soul will never die. She has entered another level of consciousness that I believe allows her to be closer to you than she ever could have been when she was alive. She is with you and in you.

She may not be able to talk to you, you may not be able to hug and kiss her, you may not be able to hug her....but she lives within you. Everything that she ever meant to you is now a part of you, and you can honor her spirit by living that.

Grief is a natural process that, unfortunately, we all endure at some time. But once you start to accept this loss and welcome her spirit into your every day being, you will feel her and you will see her. Sometimes you will feel a force that tells you to turn left when you were going to turn right...sometimes you will have trouble making a decision and in an instant you will be thinking clearly. She is in a better position to give you the wisdom and knowledge she had given you all of your life. Welcome her spirit in this new state of consciousness...you will certainly reap the rewards.

I believe that heaven and hell are states of consciousness, and I am more inclined to believe that they exist in this life, and not necessarily in the afterlife. I believe hell was created to get people to conform to certain codes of beahvior. How awful is it to think that a loved one's soul may be "burning in hell?" Hell is the result of the life we create for ourselves, as is heaven.

It took me a very long time to come to these realizations. I lost my father at age 14 and then my grandmother (who was my heart and soul....my life) at 17 right before I graduated high school. I went through myriad emotions for years before I could accept her spirit back into my consciousness and truly understand that she was and always will be with me. I eventually did the same with my father.

I wish you well as you endure this transformation. Again, my condolences.

BlackOnyx03
04-13-2003, 10:41 PM
The Bible tells us that eternal life is found in Jesus Christ alone. If both you and your grandmother have accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, you can be COMPLETELY ASSURED that your physical deaths are not the end. There is a resurrection of the dead (Jesus was the firstborn among the dead to be raised, the Bible teaches) and because Christians know this is true, we know that one day He will raise us back to life again. We will be given new incorruptible bodies that will never get sick, get hurt, or decay. We will live in complete and unbroken fellowship with our great God and Savior forever and ever and ever and ever.

I encourage you to read 1 Corinthians 15:12 and 15:35 and 15:38, 1 Thessalonians 4:13, and Revelation 20:5-6 as good starting points to find the TRUTH about life after death. There are many beliefs out there about what will happen after death. Many are contradictory, so it must logically remain that some people are right and some people are wrong. You will find TRUTH only in the Word of God. And if you don't have relationship with the living God for yourself, don't let another day go by without establishing one. He will forgive you of your sins. He will love you with a love you've never even dreamt of. He will heal the hurt of your heart. He will dry your tears. He will give you assurance of His peace and comfort. He is all that you need and more. See Romans 3:10, Romans 3:23, Romans 5:8, Romans 6:23, Romans 10:9,10, and 13. PM me if you'd like to talk some more.

kurliehead
04-14-2003, 07:23 PM
Nikki
My heart goes out to you I know exactly how you feel. In '96 I lost my grandfather and had a hard time dealing being that it was the first major lost I suffered. However, I considered myself blessed at the same time for up until that point I had always had two parents and four grandparents and I knew that most of my friends could not say the same.

May I suggest a sort of a game that my family and I played? We got together and celebrated my grandfather's birthday the February after he passed. Everyone was given a piece of paper, and we all wrote down a special memory we had of him or something we shared or did with him. All the pieces were put in a bag and my sister pulled them out and read them out loud then each person elaborated. I have to admit it was fun to hear all the different memories. By the time we were finished everyone had tears in their eyes, but they were tears of laughter and not sadness. Doing that made me feel closer to my grandfather because I learned so many things about him and his life that I did not know.

Since then, I also lost my grandmother 1 1/2 years ago and my aunt in February and I've done the same thing myself by writing in a journal and just talking to family about them. When I think or talk about them it's like I feel them. I know they are here with me, watching over me, protecting me.

I promise you it will get easier. It may not seem like it now, but it will. Please know your grandmother is not gone. She lives on in your heart, your mind, and in everything that you do and in who you are because you are a part of her and she is a part of you.

lilkinkyc
04-14-2003, 10:40 PM
your grandmother just transcended to another plane, her spirit is not dead. she walks with you now and is one of the many ancestors you can call on to have your back and guide you through this world.her spirit has just transformed it did not die.
This is my life outlook also.

Nikki, you have my prayers and understanding for your loss.
:pumpheart:

I believe that our energies, our consciousnesses live on. Energy is never destroyed but transformed.

Peace to you

ITA with both statements!!!

SweetAfrica
04-14-2003, 11:30 PM
MsNikki, I just want to offer my condolences. The ladies before me have shared some really healing words. I lost my grandmother 2 years ago and I still feel for her at times but I remind myself that she walks with me everyday. Remember, a body is only temporary, the spirit is everlasting.

sablegyrl757
04-15-2003, 02:38 AM
I too am sorry to hear about your loss. During this time, it is very important that you know that there is a God who promises joy in the morning. He will bring you peace. Just call on him...

I will pray for both you and your family.