How Friendly Are You?

[alma2254]

How do you like to keep your relationship with others at work?

Do you really know your colleagues or do you keep it strictly work-related?

Do you have friends at work that you like to go out with out of work?

Does it all depend on your job?

How close is too close at work for you?

All comments welcome!

[blkrose]

:fight drama :violin drama :tiptoe drama

Unfortunately my dept is mainly women to include all senior VP and Directors. I have been in this group going on three years now and with the company going on five. My current dept. is noticeable divided into clicks in which I do not participate. There is no separation in the ranks. I dont think being buddy buddy with your superiors is a good thing. Because in the end when the chips fall, self is going to look after self

Unfortunately I made the mistake a couple of years ago at this company in making a coworker friend. Never again. I am a very friendly people person woman however my personal life and friends stay at home or out of the work place where it is safest :thumbsup .

Now if one of my current girlfriends was hired at my place of employment, thats another story.

[Peaches]

I'm a total B***H at work. No personal stuff. Half the people who try to be your friends are backstabbers anyway. I once had a supervisor who wanted to buddy up and be my friend and I had to tell her to get off and keep it professional. That pizzed her off and we basically went back and forth with it forever.

[mikka]

I'm usually the stay mainly to myself type and I try not to venture too far from my norm. I also found out the hard way the all nappies aren't created equal. I took a temp to hire job about four weeks ago and was happy to find out that not only were there about six plus anppies working there, but my lead person was a 50+ yr old and sporting a large blond afro. I thought that I had died and gone to nappy heaven(so to speak). The first week was ok except that she had negative things to say about alot of people especially a couple of the other nappies. We conversed on a simi personal/social leveal(mostly about her life) About the middle of the second week things changed :doh When I would ask her questions (I was in training) she would turn around and answer me like dr. jekel. It was like a snarl, I hadn't ever had anyone reply to me on a job the way she did. When working as a temp you can't put up a fuss about anything regarding the regulars because the temps usually end up going out the door. I asked the other folks did they get treated the same way and they replied yes and that months down the road it should get better. So, I just stopped talking to her except to ask the necessary questions(I thought). I believe that it pizzed her off to the highest and five days later she told the superviser that I was too slow and wasn't taking go notes. Since the superviser was new to the job and blondie had been there for 8 years, she went along with what she said and notified HR that I should go. The supervisor never said a word to me about my work during the while three weeks. It's hard to find a happy medium when it comes to being/not being friends/friendly at work. :shock

[Laluna]

I'm friendly, but standoffish. I work in a female dominated environment, and we all know how that goes. I keep it light, friendly, professional. I usually skip the after work daquiri (sp) sessions. I'll go every now and again just so as not to be seen as totally anti-social. No regular hanging out though. No personal talk. Sometimes people see quiet as meaning, "Hey, come talk to me about your problems" :smug :nohuh

I wish they made a plaque that say's "Don't bring me your problems... I don't want to know you that well." :-cre

:tiptoe

[expecting]

We had a similar thread a while back. I think I called it "White Folks at Work." It was in the Culture Board. Anyway, I am the only African-American on my staff and the youngest. Everyone else (save for one white male) is all female and all white, ranging from their early 30s to mid-40s. Overall, they are cordial to me, and I to them, but there is definitely a vibe of a cohesive clique amongst them all collectively, but especially between three or four women on the staff in particular. These folks hang out with each other after work, go to each other's houses, have some of the same mutual friends and so on. I am not a part of any of that, nor am I ever invited to do any of these things unless it's inherently work-related.

I really don't have a desire to hang with them or to let them all up in my business. The key, I think, is navigating the trajectory between being personable while not letting it get personal.

[mizzel71]

Decidedly UNfriendly 8) but quite professional.

[mslady]

I'm all work. I speak to everyone but just enough to say good morning or have a nice evening. Within my division I might say a little more. I have been at my job for about ten years so I really know the people. But then again, I never get really personal.

Now, there is one girl that I have known before I started working at my job. So we do coffee break and sometimes lunch together. We also get together sometimes on the weekend and go on shopping trips. She is a very private person so we get along just fine. This girl is so private that she was pregnant and did not tell a soul at the job until after she delivered. No one knew (except me). There is one more lady that I work side by side with. She is pretty cool and is also private and is about getting her work done. We talk, never too personal and we have both attened work functions together.

[skn]

I'm very friendly with everyone....but that's just my nature. It works for me.

When I'm the supervisor/manager I tend to be a bit more hands off....but I'm still v friendly. In that case, I don't really go out for cocktails on Friday or anything.....although I will on occasion, but I will go out to lunch with folks on weekdays.

I've kind of taken my cues from previous managers I've had that I've admired. Be they white or black -- it's worked for me so far.

[crazycoil]

I'm polite at work, but I wouldn't say I'm "friendly" because I'm not looking to make friends at work. I just like to keep a comfortable professional relationship. If you want to talk to me about work-related stuff, I'm open, approachable, smiling and happy to talk to you and help you solve your work problem. But if you want to talk about personal stuff or you want me to go for coffee/lunch with you, I'm stand-offish and not interested -- the answer is no! I like to keep my work and personal life separate. I'm even worse than usual lately because I don't particularly like the place I'm working right now, but that's another story :tiptoe

[giggleblue]

i'm not exactly the friendly type at work. i stay to myself, in my office and do the work i'm assigned to do. i find that trying to be friends in the work place really causes more hassel than it's worth, so i just mind my own business. i think that some people find this rude of me, but i really don't care, because in the long run, everyone is going to cut for themselves and thats really just the way life goes...

[thunderstorm]

i'm friendly, or at least cordial, in a way that won't allow people to think that they can be familiar with me and say or do any old thing around me that might put me off.

it also helps that i don't have to work closely with a lot of people, so there isn't much chance for people to get on my nerves. :)

i think it works in a person's favor to be pleasant, and not abrasive and standoffish in the workplace.

[deedabug]

at this moment i have someone working for me with my daughter....and she is well on her way out the door wtih my foot on her behind...lol...she is OVERLY friendly. thinks i want to hear all her business and lend her advice....she has to work in my home with my child...i dont pay her but i can fire who pays her tho...she has worked with us for the past 2 mths or so and hte past few weeks r gettin worse and worse..because i guess she feels im cool peeps she thinks its ok to be lazy....it's gettin ridiculous...she has broken every rule in the book and she has juss gotta be replaced...

i already feel datin on the job should be deterred...and im gonna have to say tryna even be half nice needs to be done with caution...ppl relax and loose their minds and pretty soon no work is gettin done on their part and then there u go in a bad position... :oops:

[mellow]

I'm pretty friendly at work, but I think this is a different environment than many of you have experienced. I work for a municipality in a department with 30 or so people all of whom except one are black. Because of the type of work we do, we often find ourselves in an us vs. them situation, which lends itself to us bonding over the years ( I've been here 5 years).
So, yeah you could say that I'm pretty friendly at work. We have many social events planned here (picnics, thanksgiving and christmas dinner, etc.) And while we do get on each others nerves, we are still a pretty tight unit considering what I've read here.