View Full Version : Sad .... Advice please?

01-17-2016, 01:12 PM
Hello, I'm new to this forum and new to natural hair. I've been relaxing my hair all of my life and about a year ago, I started transitioning. Well, 4 weeks ago, I cut off my relaxed hair, braided my natural hair down and got a sew in. Friday I took the sew in out..I was so anxious to get in there and start playing with my natural hair.
I took the sew in out, washed my hair with TGIN shampoo and conditioner and then I put Jamaican black castor oil and sealed with ORS moisturizer. Now, I know I made two mistakes. 1) I put WAY too much castor oil. I literally poured it in my hands and like ....drenched my hair with it lol. 2) I put a silk scarf on and just went to bed. No twists, braids...nothing. I just laid on my hair. (4C hair btw).
Saturday morning I was SO excited thinking I'd wake up to a head of curls and just bathe in my naturalness. Yea...wrong.
I woke up to a shrunken..matted mess, I decided to just braid my hair down and put a wig on top. I went to work and that was that.
I got off work that night after watching YouTube videos all day and said, "No, I'm not hiding my natural hair under a wig" lol "I want to embrace my naturalness!!" I refused to give up. I went out and bought some Shea curl enhancing smoothie and coconut oil. I came home, took the braids out, sprayed my hair with water and Lusters glycerin moisturizer.... Applied my coconut oil and curl enhancing smoothie and attempted to twist my hair. I finished...went to bed excited again thinking I'd wake up to a head of wonderfulness and .........I didn't. There was barely any curl definition. My hair was still a little wet in some areas. It just looked...horrible. I cried. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Idk if I need to wash the castor oil and everything out of my hair and try again? Idk if I'm not using the right products? Idk...I'm just sad. Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated. I really want the thick, Afro but slightly curly look ....and it's not happening.
(My hair is VERY thick..kinky 4C textured hair)

01-18-2016, 07:46 PM
Hi and Welcome!
I'm sorry about your frustrations!

Hmm, my texture isn't "4c" but its definitely in the 4 type range and for a long time I thought I didn't have curls so I accepted my frizzy fro, but I realize with more moisture and healthy hair over time did create more kinky curly hair. My fiance is "4b/c" and when I wash his hair and his moisture levels are good his hair naturally has coils but not every hair type will have curls and coils when fully hydrated and that is okay <3

If you are trying to achieve a kinky fro with some curls peaking out and you added too much products, maybe try cowashing them out and trying again, i know caster oil is a heavy oil.

Try some YouTube videos and see what they do, Im guessing to get that kinky curly fro you can do a twist and curl, where you twist your hair and put perm rods on the ends, and maybe curl enhancing smoothie doesn't have the hold you want, maybe try a product that has a stronger hold like a gel?

Also try not to soak your hair with a water base product, it wont dry in time, try just damp hair, and i think glycerin attracts water to the hair so it could cause the style to not last.
I'm just guessing cause I'm not good at styles , I usually do VERY lazy wash and gos, twistouts and the occasional braidout to stretch my hair but ends up shrinking haha.

You will get the hang of it. It just takes practice <3
Sorry if this isnt the best advice, I just wanted to help :)

03-03-2016, 01:05 PM
I think finding your your ideal protein moisture balance will ease your frustrations. Once your hair is maximally moisturize and you work out your set routine to maintain moisture it'll start to be a breeze. It takes time and frequent conditioning the first few months to build up moisture. Then your hair will start to take to twist outs, have less frizz, not be so dry etc. I found all of the natural hair stuff frustrating because I wasn't getting the results I saw online and had to realize my hair is unique to me, hopefully that helps you too!

03-05-2016, 12:57 PM
Do your journey your way. YT can be information overload and it's important to note that many don't come back to share the downside of their trial and errors. Some do, by then you usually already know from your own bad experience. Stick with an ingredient or two for washing/conditioning/moisturizing. Find what works for you slowllllly. Then look for products with those ingredients. There's so much to learn that it's important to take baby steps and run your own race. Keep it Knotty.

03-23-2016, 02:10 PM
What I had to learn was that what you want your hair to look like when you start your journey and what it actually looks like is sometimes two different things. Try less product, try different product, and if at the end of it all it still doesn't look like you expected it to, then it may not be ABLE to do it... like Fossor said, embrace and accept your texture as it is, and if over time it begins to change (as it often does) then it will be a pleasant surprise... if not, you will be in love with it as it is anyway so it won't matter. Good luck!!