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View Full Version : What Hair Mistake Did You Make?



pookeylou
07-03-2003, 02:21 PM
If you could give a newbie some wisdom...that unfortunatly you had to learn the hard way...or even if you just tried something on your hair during your napptural transformation and it was a major "no, no" tell us what it was...so that we could save ourselves alot of "hair-aches."


I wish I could say, "All names will be changed to protect the innocent..." but if you are brave enough to share...you could save some hair! (hey that rhymed!)

Much love.
:afro:

LBellatrix
07-03-2003, 02:41 PM
(LBell gets on her "get tough" soapbox)

If your goal is to have long natural hair, stay away from heat. Preferably for a MINIMUM of one year, and ideally forever.

Folks get all anxious about wanting to see length, got visions of long flowing Rapunzel-like hair dancing in their heads, and all it takes is one encounter with a too-hot heat weapon "just to see how long it really is" to undo months of growth.

In my case, it wasn't a single encounter, it was six months of almost weekly encounters with the blow-dryer because I was so enamored of my big twistout and the looks I got on the street from men. :rolleyes: After six months I had split ends up the wazoo and had to chop a significant amount off.

If you can pry yourself away from the media (black, white and other) images of long flowing hair, and concentrate on taking the best care of your hair that you can, you will have length before you know it. But if you absolutely cannot get over your hangups over not having length, get extensions or a weave to give you your fix...and make sure you're still taking care of your hair under the fake hair.

Bella
07-03-2003, 02:59 PM
There is a lot of trial and error. Please remember that patience is key.

For me, I had to become re-aquainted with my natural hair. I had to learn how to do my hair and what products worked best with my hair.

One of the best things that I learned about my hair is, less is definitely more. The least amount of products that I use on my hair the more managable it is. I was a product junkie. I was trying everything. I still believe that is a good thing because you are testing different products. But I would find one or two products that worked well for my hair and leave it at that.

HTH

clover
07-03-2003, 03:07 PM
One of the biggest mistakes I made was not moisturizing my hair enough. At the time I didn't experiment much with hair products. I was still using stuff with mineral and petroleum in them. What's worse was that I was fascinated with coloring my natural hair (bright red first and then bleaching it with hi-lites). My hair was sooo dry and thirsty back then. I didn't know well enough that I should be using products to counteract the dryness. I ended up chopping off my hair on two separate occasions because my hair had become so damaged. Now that I know more about conditioner washes, products with moisture sealing ingredients, etc...I feel more confident about doing things to my hair without severe repercussions. I recently had my hair hi-lighted and whereas before I had hair dry as a haystack now my hair is shiny and super-moisturized.

AFashionSlave
07-03-2003, 03:07 PM
I first went natural in 1996. I loved my natural hair. I went to a beauty salon to get straw curls. That woman told me that she could not do a straw set with out a mild relaxer to loosen my curl a bit. I believed her and I let that woman put a perm on my hair for a few minutes just so I could get a straw set. My straw set looked great but as my un-permed roots grew out my hair looked a mess. My ends would tangle and break off. I had to do the big chop all over again.

My advice to all newbies is the following:
- :nohuh: Don't press - You will eventually lose your naps. Opt for a roller set and bump or a nice wig.

- :nohuh: Don't fall for homemade or natural hair relaxers - I don't care if the relaxer is made from coconut milk - It will mess up your hair.

-:nohuh: - Stay away from scissors happy stylists - (that is if you are trying to grow out your hair) Give specific instructions to how much hair you want trimmed. Say "No more than a 1/2 inch" if you need to.

- :nohuh: Stop saying that you want hair like "tracy ellis, or lauryn, cree, etc. Your hair may never look like that. I my hair type is 4b/4a/2 patches of 3c/a few bone straight strands/a few wavy strands/cottony/spongy/high-sheen/low sheen. I just say that I am 4a/4b because that is what the majority of my hair looks like.

I believe that if you experiment and follow these guidelines you will do well on your natural journey.

star0925
07-03-2003, 03:16 PM
Originally posted by AFashionSlave@Jul 3 2003, 10:07 AM
I first went natural in 1996. I loved my natural hair. I went to a beauty salon to get straw curls. That woman told me that she could not do a straw set with out a mild relaxer to loosen my curl a bit. I believed her and I let that woman put a perm on my hair for a few minutes just so I could get a straw set. My straw set looked great but as my un-permed roots grew out my hair looked a mess. My ends would tangle and break off. I had to do the big chop all over again.


I have heard a few people say this. Learning from their mistakes, if you encounter someone with this attitude I think you should RUN not walk away.

Knottygal
07-03-2003, 03:30 PM
One of my mistakes was trying and buying a whole lot of unneccessary hair products without considering if the persons hair type was similar to mine. What does wonders for someone else's hair might not do anything for me.

I also learned that if you find a product that works for you stick with it.

I've learned exspensive hair products don't necessarily mean better.

I've learned that less is more with the products-you don't have to use several different products in your hair.

Alken41100
07-03-2003, 03:38 PM
What worked for your relaxed hair may not work for your natural naps.

Less products the cleaner your hair will stay.

Bronze Brown
07-03-2003, 04:25 PM
My greatest mistake was being overly eager to buy the newest holy grail hair product. I did some calculations a few weeks ago just out of curiosity and found that in the past three years since I've gone natural, I've spent about $300 on hair products, hair styling aids and accessories. Looking back, it's ridiculous how quickly I jumped up to buy any product that was recommended without doing some question asking first. Like:
1. How long have you been using this product for? (I think there's always a 1 month period or so when people are in love with a product, but eventually find out it has some kind of fault. Only if they've been using the product they're recommending for at least 6 months consistently, should you consider buying it for yourself)

2. What hair type do you have, and how long is your hair?

That's just a sample of what I should've been asking. I think it's almost impossible not to go through the product junky phase where you want to try anything and everything, but please do yourself a favor and ask questions before you spend your money. Question yourself as well: do I really need to buy the Denman brush when I already have a Goody brush that looks identical?

And when it comes to curl definition, (where most of that $300 went) I would say that that's another point of mandatory obsession when you're a newbie. I think it's cool to investigate that option and see what your hair's capable of, but only buy the curl defining products that have been massed rave about by type 4's. If that holy grail gel/styling creme/wax etc, seems to be most popular with the 3c's, don't go out and buy it! Wait for a product that's very popular with the 4's. It will save you money!

jazzypom
07-03-2003, 04:30 PM
conditioner washes rule!

i would have tried to learn to canerow and twist before my hair got too much(i still cant cornrow)

healthy strong hiair starts with diet.

LotsOfLocs
07-03-2003, 04:38 PM
If you want a hairline leave the extensions alone.

BrownsuggaDIVA
07-03-2003, 05:30 PM
BEWARE OF TIGHT HEAD BANDS..etc

i was using the panty hose headband and wore them a lil too tight <_<

now i am growing out a clean mess it made at the top of my head and thinned my sides just a little. but the top of my head put me to tears...i had breakage that left me with 1/2 inch and then a clean line where it had been resting :(

it is growing back and LUCKILY i have very thick hair..so when i wear tiny 2 strand twists...scarves...headbands..etc..on occassion, you can NOT TELL!

naturalbeauty
07-03-2003, 06:38 PM
Originally posted by BrownsuggaDIVA@Jul 3 2003, 05:30 PM
BEWARE OF TIGHT HEAD BANDS..etc

i was using the panty hose headband and wore them a lil too tight <_<

now i am growing out a clean mess it made at the top of my head and thinned my sides just a little. but the top of my head put me to tears...i had breakage that left me with 1/2 inch and then a clean line where it had been resting :(

it is growing back and LUCKILY i have very thick hair..so when i wear tiny 2 strand twists...scarves...headbands..etc..on occassion, you can NOT TELL!
WOW! That I didn&#39;t know. I don&#39;t wear headbands cause I have a thing about my forehead. I like all the hair "standing" up to disguise it :D Well, at least that has indirectly kept me away from headbands.
I was looking forward tho to putting up my hair in a puff once I have enough length, and I&#39;m glad I read this because I&#39;ll be careful about tightness, and how long to keep the style.
Thanks!

ThisIsKia
07-03-2003, 06:52 PM
Don&#39;t be so quick to whip out the scissors when frustration sets in.

Kundanappi
07-03-2003, 07:10 PM
Don&#39;t overdo it on the products in the beginning, especially if you have a TWA. TWAs don&#39;t need a lot of product.

You will find that what worked for you at 1 inch may not work at longer lengths. I just dumped a whole bunch of stuff I bought 6 months ago that never worked or is no longer working for me. I got tired of nearly full containers of product clogging up the bathroom. ;)

SoulStar
07-03-2003, 07:11 PM
1.) Realize the more the relaxer grows out, the more difficult it is to manage the new growth. Best bet is to cut the perm out as soon as possible. :(

2.) Find products that work for you, don&#39;t spend too much money on hair products. :blink:

3.) Realize your hair needs to be cultured, at first your hair might not act the way you want it to

4.) Be realistic, your hair may be really nappy or really nappy slash straight :afro:

5.) Try to make an earnest decision on if you want to be natural, don&#39;t press your hair straight every other week (the heat damages it eventually)

6.) Learn to love you hair, at first you think you love being natural, but after many days of toil and tribulation... it gets hard :pumpheart:

7.) Be firm, don&#39;t let society dictate you views on going natural

8.)Be yourself, don&#39;t try to fall into the stereotype of being natural (neo-soul,vegan,black hippie,India.Aerie, or Bob Marley), if you fall into it great, if not, don&#39;t feel obligated to do so. :)

9.) Have fun, take this transistion as a learning expierence, and learn more about your heritage :P

pookeylou
07-03-2003, 07:14 PM
Ya&#39;ll just bring tears to my eyes....happy tears!!!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you....

You just don&#39;t know how all of you may have/did save us a LOT OF DRAMA!!!!!!

I printed this off and I am keeping a book of highlighted notes on what I should and should not do....

Thank goodness I got rid of the blow dryer....I&#39;ve been conditioning RELIGIOUSLY since I first laid eyes on this site....now I need to break the "product junkie". I can honestly say that I have done the same hair routine for 2 weeks in a row and my hair turns out great every time...but the withdrawal to go to Sally&#39;s and try the latest....let me quit.

Thank ya&#39;ll so much for sharing your wisdom.

:rainfro:

blkrighteousspace1
07-03-2003, 07:25 PM
all i can say is i had to learn that....LESS IS MORE

the less

* heat
* product
* time
* manipulation
* frequency of shampooing (unless your scalp produces heavy amounts of oil or you use an obscene amount of product)
* money you spend on products

the more

* hair you will retain
* time you will have to do other things
* money you will retain
* space you will have in your washroom

* alcohol is NOT your friend it will dry your hair out and make it brittle and more susceptible to breakage (i.e. the crunchy gels, the spritzes with denatured and other alcohols)

*protect your hair in the summer...because it is natural it&#39;s not invincible....your hair can burn not just with heat appliance...but with sunlight as well.

* you don&#39;t have to run out and pick up the latest rave product on the board....especially if what you have at home works for you.

another thing....i had to learn is that my standards of beauty that were applied towards straight hair....you gotta throw out with kinky hair.....kinky hair will NOT behave like straight hair....don&#39;t force it to do such...it&#39;s like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.

Nx2brat
07-03-2003, 07:26 PM
Don&#39;t take everybody&#39;s word on hair boards as gospel( I don&#39;t care how many post they have under their belt). We are all here to make SUGGESTIONS and provide SUPPORT...you&#39;re the only who can decide what truly works for your hair. And trust me if you&#39;re doing the wrong thing your hair won&#39;t be shy about letting you know. :D There is no magic product or technique...just trial and err coupled with a lot of patience.

Brat :P

jazzypom
07-03-2003, 07:38 PM
me again -

enjoy the twa stage while you have it - dont obsess about the length, because soon you will be missing your twa.

be aware of the ingredients that your hair likes - it will save you alot of guff and money - for example - if denatured alcohol is not your thing (it makes afro hair dry and brittle) avoid products that have it. If you dont like mineral oil - dont buy products with it - i usually look for products that have oils like avocado, sweet almond and other oils - or glycerine based products (if on the no oil method) and after two years of product looking, i am definately settling down.

the first thing i did when i cut my hair was colour (why do we all do this) - if you must colour, condition, condition, protect.

i&#39;m sure there&#39;s more stuff that i would have done differently if i knew then what i know now, and i will contribute as i remember!

AFashionSlave
07-03-2003, 07:40 PM
Originally posted by Nx2brat@Jul 3 2003, 02:26 PM
Don&#39;t take everybody&#39;s word on hair boards as gospel( I don&#39;t care how many post they have under their belt). We are all here to make SUGGESTIONS and provide SUPPORT...you&#39;re the only who can decide what truly works for your hair. And trust me if you&#39;re doing the wrong thing your hair won&#39;t be shy about letting you know. :D There is no magic product or technique...just trial and err coupled with a lot of patience.

Brat :P
Amen. Ain&#39;t that the truth.

jmnappy
07-03-2003, 07:44 PM
My biggest mistake was not getting regular trims and messing around with permanent color. The color was extremely drying to my hair.. And silly me for wanting length so much to the point that I waited a really long time between trims and had to get all those dead/colored ends trimmed.

Jessy55
07-03-2003, 07:47 PM
The mistake I made was not cutting off the relaxed ends sooner. I was afraid of the twa, and I held on to my relaxed ends for 8 months before chopping them off. That was my own hang up. My fiance kept telling me at the time that I would look so cute with a twa, but I just did not want to hear that.

Once my relaxed ends were chopped off, caring for my fully natural hair was so much better, so much easier, and my hair grew so much faster too.

CurlsWannaHaveFun
07-03-2003, 07:52 PM
1. Not trimming my hair frequently enough. I went >2 years without a trim. I was lucky significant damage did not result. It is good to want length but to maintain healthy length, regular trims are necessary.

2. Not moisturizing enough

3. Shampooing too much

4. Not styling in protective styles (still don&#39;t do this enough)

5. Less is more with products. All you need is a good conditioner and a good leave in. Skimp on or skip everything else.

winnie
07-03-2003, 08:22 PM
I really had to learn to stay away from heat. My hair doesn&#39;t like heat at all, but it took me a really long time to learn that. So I stay away from pressing combs, flat irons and blow dryers now. When I want a straight look I&#39;ll either roller set or plait my hair.

I also had to rethink my aesthetic. For so long I associated frizz and low shine with damaged hair. Therefore I obsessed over the perfect frizz-free twist-outs and braided styles. However, I was fighting a losing battle. My hair is frizzy, multi-textured and it doesn&#39;t shine. Once I accepted my hair and threw out all of my anti-frizz products and shine enhancers, my hair started looking a lot better and it actually had a nice sheen to it.

If you have longish hair, a claw clip can be your best friend! There will be days when you will not want to style your hair and there&#39;s nothing like being able to pull it back. It will save you plenty of hair frustration.

I&#39;ve also learned that sometimes even a bad twist-out can be saved by the application of cute hair pins and clips. Sometimes you just need some flair.

For special occasions, don&#39;t buy into the myth that straight hair=elegant hair. People will try to make you straighten your hair for weddings, balls, etc, but if you don&#39;t want to, don&#39;t do it. One of my close friends (the only non-natural) is getting married and she hinted around that her mother thought that I should straighten my hair. I promptly informed her that wasn&#39;t going to ask her to get a twa for my wedding so she shouldn&#39;t ask me to straighten my hair just to please her mother.

NappyKitchen
07-03-2003, 09:19 PM
Short, factual answer: RELAX. We stress ourselves out about this journey, but it&#39;s really gonna be okay. Have big, BIG fun, take baby steps, don&#39;t overdo products, revisit ideas that maybe didn&#39;t work three months ago, listen to what your hair tells you, and reconcile yourself to shrinkage. :hug:

Long, stream-of-conciousness answer:

I second the comment about not focusing too hard on someone else&#39;s hair. Sooooo many of the famous nappturals are biracial; others may have extensions and they ALL have hair pros at their disposal. If you aim for a specific look, you may have a beautiful head of hair that only disappointments you, because you can&#39;t work it like Miss Thang. (I could still be waiting to get my Lisa Nicole Carson on after four years, gnome sane? :blink:)

I applaud the comment - and this can&#39;t be overstressed - to take everyone&#39;s remarks in stride. Don&#39;t beat yourself up if you experiment with products, color, heat - all of that can be part of the process. There&#39;s sooooo much sound advice to be had, but women on these boards can be opinioniated. As soon as you post, "I&#39;d like to try ___" you&#39;ll hear from those who cross the advice/experience line, to where they&#39;re just tryin&#39; to harsh a sista&#39;s mellow. If you&#39;re new to messageboards, give yourself time to learn the difference.


It&#39;s gonna be hard in the beginning, even downright ugly at times. But really, ain&#39;t that just like our relaxed days? So try to remember the great line from A League of Their Own: "It&#39;s supposed to be hard! If it wasn&#39;t hard, everyone would do it. The hard... is what makes it great!" :thumbsup:

pookeylou
07-03-2003, 09:25 PM
Good...GOOD...advice.

analog_girl
07-03-2003, 09:40 PM
Nx2brat said:


Don&#39;t take everybody&#39;s word on hair boards as gospel( I don&#39;t care how many post they have under their belt). We are all here to make SUGGESTIONS and provide SUPPORT...you&#39;re the only who can decide what truly works for your hair. And trust me if you&#39;re doing the wrong thing your hair won&#39;t be shy about letting you know. There is no magic product or technique...just trial and err coupled with a lot of patience.

So true!!! I&#39;m only finally beginning to realize this; and I&#39;ve been natural since &#39;97 (although I&#39;m a nappy "newbie" of sorts, because I chopped my hair down to a TWA for the first time ever last August). Don&#39;t believe/follow everything you read; just because someone says they have your hair type doesn&#39;t mean that they really do, because everyone&#39;s hair reacts to different treatments/products/regimens in its own unique way. I can&#39;t tell you how many times I stubbornly followed a regimen or used a product that obviously wasn&#39;t working for me based on person X&#39;s recommendation because they had my hair type and seemed more knowledgeable only to realize after the damage was done that it wasn&#39;t beneficial for my hair. I&#39;m moving back to the simple routine I had back in the day and my hair seems to be responding to that.

Other than that, I agree with everyone who&#39;s said that you should avoid going product crazy. I&#39;m a reformed :P product junky now, but there was a time when if i had to choose between buying much needed groceries or the latest "holy grail" product w/my last $15, i&#39;d be slapping my money down on the beauty supply counter faster than you could say gel. Three years and over $500 later, i hate to say that with all the money I spent not ONCE did I come across a product that did anything groundbreaking for my hair (and I could have bought me a damn plane ticket to Morocco or Prague for all that money I spent :rolleyes: ). Ironically, my best hair days were back when I was "ignorant" about hair care and just did the basic shampoo, condition and keep steppin&#39; routine. So save your money, stick with what works for you; because no one product/routine (no poo/no oil/daily rinse, etc) works for everybody.

HTH :D

pookeylou
07-03-2003, 10:34 PM
Now THAT was funny!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: "faster than you can say gel..."

That is me to a tee! :D

kinkytwists1
07-03-2003, 10:51 PM
I&#39;m still a newbie, but I do know that you should stay away from wearing extensions for a long period of time. They kill your hairline and can slow the growth of your hair. (I got 4 inches of hair in 2 years bcuz of it; while on average, you&#39;re supposed to get 6 inches of hair in 1 year.) Also, esp. if you are transitioning, braids don&#39;t really give you a chance to get to know or experiment with your hair so you know what it likes and how to deal with it on bad hair days and so on.

Divinaty
07-03-2003, 10:52 PM
when i first read hair web pages and books, i was frustrated that many would not name specific products to use in my hair. i didn&#39;t want to look at ingredients on bottles, i just wanted someone to tell me what to buy. but after battling with product junky-ism, i&#39;ve realized that the books have a point. the reason that they don&#39;t list products is because things that work on one person&#39;s head will not work on another person&#39;s.

other people in this thread have already mentioned the same thing. so here&#39;s my point. i&#39;ve realized that my hair responds to products with certain ingredients. for example, my hair doesn&#39;t like oil or alcohol, but it does like humectants. so it really does pay to look at the ingredients and pay attention to what works and doesn&#39;t work for your hair. you&#39;ll save yourself A LOT of money.

Kalico
07-04-2003, 12:43 AM
Originally posted by Nx2brat@Jul 3 2003, 07:26 PM
Don&#39;t take everybody&#39;s word on hair boards as gospel( I don&#39;t care how many post they have under their belt). We are all here to make SUGGESTIONS and provide SUPPORT...you&#39;re the only who can decide what truly works for your hair. And trust me if you&#39;re doing the wrong thing your hair won&#39;t be shy about letting you know. :D There is no magic product or technique...just trial and err coupled with a lot of patience.

Brat :P
ITA. Don&#39;t assume that because you read it on a hair board its gospel truth and guaranteed to work on your hair. You can pick up advice that doesn&#39;t work or misinfo offline and you can pick it up online too.

Don&#39;t treat natural hair care like it&#39;s quantum physics. Believe it or not you do know what to do and this applies even if you&#39;ve had a perm since you were two. Relax and play it by ear and you&#39;ll find that its instinctive.

Its fun to play with different products to a point but don&#39;t get carried away. You&#39;ll find out in the end that all of them pretty much work the same.

Don&#39;t texturize because you think it will make hair care easier. A little bit of perm is just as potentially damaging as a full blow application.

A couple of people have already said this ... don&#39;t obssess over length and over seeing length. If you want your hair to get longer you are going to have to leave it alone and be patient. Anyone that I know with super long hair (any race) has it because they do very little to their hair.

ETA. Lastly but not leastly - hair is only one small part of your being. Don&#39;t neglect the rest of you in the quest for perfectly moisturized hair. You don&#39;t gain anything if you work out the perfect hair regimen but you neglect yourself spiritually, physically, or emotionally.

strawwberryz
07-04-2003, 01:03 AM
Good advice ..could not help agreeing with everyone.

Dont let negative people and their comments get to you for you shall definately encounter them. If need be you may have to eliminate or distance yourself from negative energies from your life. Be ready for it so when it happens you are not shocked or surprised. You are not the one with the problem.

kopper
07-04-2003, 02:53 AM
I made the mistake of coloring my hair MYSELF and refused to take care of it by doing the weekly deep conditioning, etc...I like the color OK, but my ends are extremely dry.

Safiyyah
07-04-2003, 09:45 AM
I have realised that the products I make for myself at home work best with my hair therefore i buy pure natural stuff and make my own concoctions.

Avoid shampoo full stop. Do clarifying washes or use natural soaps like black soap. (for my hair anyway)

I used to spend 30 mins combing my hair every 3 days. I realised I got a hard boar bristle brush and i can spread the combing to once a month and even more; because the boar brittle does a pretty good job as is and i dont have to worry about the hair locing. So now I do it once a month when i want to do large twists which i twist out in the morning. A huge time saver.

I made the mistake of going around spreading the good news. Everybody thinks either that you have gone coocoo, or that you do not know what you are talking about because I had just chopped my hair from locs so I had not yet gained major length so this disqualified me in their eyes. Tney took the hair dressers words over mine basically. They will come to learn.

Also people have a hung up about perm. They feel they cannot go out with an afro. That it looks ugly. so some natural heads religiously cornrow lest someone was to see the huge fro. Subhan allah! When you see these people please remember to shut up. Also ex-hair dressers (some people who used to work as hair dressers, or used to do hair on account of reading the black hair magazine) remember to shut up.

Alot of black people will believe the reason your hair is soft is because you have cooly hair. Don&#39;t bother explaining, if they are in a perm; Unless that person has come to you to ask about natural hair.

Also so many times i have explained recipes, like how to use rosemary oil and so on. Well somebody decided to use it on their face, not to mention it wasnt very well diluted so it burnt their face. Another permie decided to oil her hair with rosemary oil... i still dont understand what was so diffcult to understand. I said i have no advice to permed hair, but i have some for natural hair. Anyway this permie said her hair was breaking and i bet you she smeared her hair with pure rosemary oil!. Just don&#39;t bother. These people only listen to what they want to listen to!!! Do not give them the opportunity to come back and blame you basically.

Rashunda
07-04-2003, 10:27 AM
1) Not understanding "scab" hair and slapping all sorts of stuff on to combat it.

2) Being too preachy to non-nappturals in the beginning.

PenCurls
07-04-2003, 12:37 PM
Some things I did when first going natural:

Being a HUGE product junkie, searching for that Holy Grail product

Pressing on a regular basis &#39;cause I wasn&#39;t yet comfortable with my natural hair

Shampooing daily :rolleyes:

Hardly ever wearing protective styles

I&#39;ve learned soooo much from this site; some of it I couldn&#39;t use but now I pretty much know what will work for me & what won&#39;t. It&#39;s a lot of trial & error. I&#39;ve found a few basic products that work great for me & that&#39;s what I stick with. My advice to anyone is: stay away from heat as much as possible & wear protective styles, especially if you want growth.

lydicarol
07-04-2003, 12:46 PM
The Nappy Basics:

1) Don&#39;t concentrate on the hair typing. Know that what you have is
a headfull of beautiful, kinky, coily, nappy hair and no typing system
is going to allow you to deal with it any easier.

2) Your fingers, a wide tooth comb and the right brush can be your best friends. Always remember to detangle from the bottom on up

3) The right products can work wonders. If something works great for you
stay with it but always try to find a backup (we&#39;ve seen in enough cases where the most fantastic product all of a sudden becomes discontinued- don&#39;t ever become reliant on that one product.

4) Admiring another head of hair is a beautiful thing but don&#39;t lust after it.
The coils/curls that one can achieve cannot be achieved by all. Love what was given to you and work with it. Also having a hair twin does not mean that what products they use will always work for you.

5) Take an interest in what products you&#39;re putting into your hair, there are ingredients that can be very harmful.

I have so many other things to say but these are the basics. ENJOY!!!!

Satrina
07-04-2003, 12:49 PM
I was using shampoo that was way too harsh. I use shampoo with no Sodium Laureth Sulfate now :afro:

curlygirl
07-04-2003, 04:52 PM
Be careful about investing your time/energy/money waiting for your hair to do what you think it SHOULD do, or trying to get it to do what you think it SHOULD do. Allow your hair to show you what it needs and what it&#39;s going to do and know that what it&#39;s doing is beautiful. :afro:

Jess82
07-04-2003, 05:16 PM
Originally posted by kinkytwists1@Jul 3 2003, 10:51 PM
I&#39;m still a newbie, but I do know that you should stay away from wearing extensions for a long period of time. They kill your hairline and can slow the growth of your hair. (I got 4 inches of hair in 2 years bcuz of it; while on average, you&#39;re supposed to get 6 inches of hair in 1 year.) Also, esp. if you are transitioning, braids don&#39;t really give you a chance to get to know or experiment with your hair so you know what it likes and how to deal with it on bad hair days and so on.
I absolutely agree with you Kinkytwists!
I transitionned for 1 year and a half with extensions and they totally pulled my hairline off :( ! Plus, I didn&#39;t got the chance to experiment with my nappy hair while it was growing, I started with a big amount of hair and I just had to deal with it and it wasn&#39;t always easy (and it still not always easy after 3 months napptural!)
So I recommend not leaving extensions for too long for transitionning...

lovelyone
07-04-2003, 05:42 PM
:afro: I just chopped a couple of months of ago but I have already learned so much.

Get to know your hair and what it will and won&#39;t do. I tried to get my hair to shine for weeks but my hair has low sheen and that is okay.

Get used to the stairs. I sometimes wonder why people are staring at me and I forget that my hair is nappy so they don&#39;t understand.

When you find a product that works for you stick with. Check out what products people on the board who have similar hair types are usuing before trying a new product.

Coloring is for professionals are those who really know what they are doing. Just from reading others horror stories I had a professional color my hair and I have not had any problems.

Moisture and more moisture. Keep your hair moisturized. No poo as often as you feel your hair needs it. I no poo 3 or 4 times a week and sometimes clean my house with conditioner on my head to deep condition. All you need is a plastic bag and your body heat.

Hope this helps!

zahraliberation
07-04-2003, 09:28 PM
i have a restless and adventurous spirit, and i was used to being able to change my hair style at the drop of a hat. after i took the big chop, i was kool for about 1 1/2 years, but then i got REALLY restless, and i didn&#39;t know what other hairstyle i could put my hair into, so i put another perm in it. HUGE MISTAKE!! i missed my natural hair soooo much, i was sick for two weeks. my friend got so sick of me complaining, she suggested i go get my shoulder-length permed-out hair cut back off and start over again - and that&#39;s exactly what i did. and even though i had about 1/2 inch of hair when it was all over, i was ecstatic because i had my hair back.

i said all that to say i realized that it&#39;s important to know about lots of other styling options so when i get restless now, i have a wide range of hairstyles to choose from.

REGEE
07-05-2003, 12:40 AM
WOW :o THIS IS A GREAT THREAD!!!

My advise would be.......................Try NOT to spend a lot on products, or have too many products at one time. *A small fact I&#39;ve learned is if you buy from certain stores you can returned products you don&#39;t like for a refund or exchange. This has saved me LOTS OF $$$$$

More expensive does not always mean BETTER.

Patience is KEY :D

REGEE

L'n-z
07-05-2003, 02:52 AM
Originally posted by winnie@Jul 3 2003, 08:22 PM
I also had to rethink my aesthetic.
I couldn&#39;t agree with this more. I wasn&#39;t prepared for what my hair would look like. When you are transitioning or have a twa, you start imagining what your hair will look like when it gets longer. For many people, your hair will not turn out how you expect. I wasn&#39;t nearly prepared for the frizz, coarseness, or volume, ahem, VOLUME! (I have a lot of hair). It took me a really long time to understand that my hair wouldn&#39;t turn out like other posters who I admired. My hair is unique and beautiful the way it is.

dazzlincurls2
07-05-2003, 06:01 AM
Do not straighten. because......well why are you straightening anyway? Be happy nappy and yes you risk losing that nappy crown ---and it is a crown, jeweled in fact -- if you straighten.


and most importantly


DO NOT listen to igorant non-nappturals suggesting that you should comb,pick, grease, straighten, or relax your hair. Find someone who loves you for you because the above fools do not know what it is to accept what God gave them. If our hair was meant to be straight we would have been born that way. I say this because sometimes people&#39;s comments get me down but when I find someone who loves my hair I become upset with myself for even having listened to the negative comments. So save yourself the stress and don&#39;t take offense. It is a struggle but only because people are in denial of the harm they do to themselves everytime they open up that tub o relaxer. They have also been brainwashed by people who say their weaves look cute. Consequently they forget to ask themselves why they must wear that weave in the first place. Say it loud ladies.

bruinhotty
07-05-2003, 07:49 AM
*** Be careful of coloring yourself. I don&#39;t regret putting color in my hair, but my technique was a bit off. I thought that since my hair was natural it was invincible and could handle anything. So, if you want to color use a rinse and if you want something with a stronger color use a permanent color that is not too far away from your natural color.

***If you are trying a new product try to get a small sample from the website instead of buying an entire bottle that may not work for you. If you are a new napp then small trial sizes can be your best friends.

*** Accept your naps and let them be. You don&#39;t need any time consuming hairstyles necessarily. I used to twist my hair, but I haven&#39;t done so in a while cuz I just don&#39;t have that much time, but its ok to rock the fro&#39;.

Meditating_Coils
07-05-2003, 08:23 AM
Don&#39;t compare your hair to others. Regular pampering hair treatments always helped me to feel positive about my hair and to feel better in general.

Don&#39;t take your hair too seriously all the time. Have a sense of humor about your journey too.

Keep a hair journal for yourself foremost to record how your hair changes and your feelings. It can be private on your pc, a scrapebook or on line. I regularly look back at my hair pics. No 2 cuts or hairstyles are ever the same. It feels good knowing that "I did that style" on my own.... and never have to depend on a salon again. It&#39;s quite empowering.

Seeing your progress and just really looking at your own face, your eyes, keeps you focused on taking care of your complete self, not just your hair.


B)

Ebony Goddess
07-05-2003, 09:32 AM
Originally posted by ThisIsKia@Jul 3 2003, 09:52 PM
Don&#39;t be so quick to whip out the scissors when frustration sets in.
ITA

I cut my hair, againand now I keep think how long it&#39;s going to me until I have 2 inches of hair on my head again.


Edited to add: BE PATIENT

:afro:

Ammee
07-05-2003, 05:56 PM
Originally posted by ThisIsKia@Jul 3 2003, 06:52 PM
Don&#39;t be so quick to whip out the scissors when frustration sets in.
i totally agree

i did that last month and all i have to say is DO NOT cut your hair unless you really want to if you are getting frustrated with your hair, get some twists or cornrows and keep your hands out of your hair

And i have also ome to the conclusion that combing my hair daily works for me

pookeylou
07-05-2003, 07:29 PM
All of Ya&#39;ll are OFF THE HOOK!!!!

:D

I am definitely seeing a common thread throughout all the advice...do what works best for YOUR hair!

There is a lot of common sense here too:

Condition.
Trim.
Condition.
Wear protective styles, but do to much pulling & tugging & you could loose some hair.
Condition.
Eat right and exercise.
Condition.
Condition.
Condition.
Condition.
Condition.
Did we say CONDITION!?!?!?!?

Well...I am paying attention...I am going to do what makes sense so that my hair makes it through this transition and stays happy!

Thank each and everyone for the preciouse tidbits you have shared...

Alot of people have seen this thread...
Becasue a lot of people care about the hair on thier head...
And if you&#39;ve shared a thought or two...
We thank you for all the good you do...
For being brave enough to share your mistakes...
For helping us newbies the wrong path not to take...
As an older wise sister and true friend you&#39;ve been...
From myself and all who&#39;ve seen this, we say "thank you" again.

Here&#39;s wishing all who see this happy, healthy, natural hair!
:afro: :pumpheart: :afro: :pumpheart: :afro: :pumpheart: :afro:

Gacela20
07-06-2003, 07:14 PM
*What you put inside your body is FAR more important than any product applied externally.

*Too much manipulation will leave hair rough and dry.

*Stick with the basics - shampoo (for those not on no-poo), deep conditioner, leave-in and a pomade.

pookeylou
08-21-2003, 07:59 PM
Bumping for all the newbies that have just joined the club!

nappynae
08-21-2003, 08:43 PM
Newbie here. I regret not doing the big chop. i pressed my hair or did 2 strand twists until i had 3inches of natural hair atop 9 inches of relaxed hair. I think my hair would have grown healthier if i had cut off the relaxed hair sooner. my other mistake was not realizing that less is better. I was still using the same products i used for my relaxed hair & had the same problems with flakes/dandruff. now, i just shampoo, condition, a little shea butter or natural oils, & my hair/scalp doesn&#39;t flake, shed, or feel dirty as quickly. i can&#39;t believe i don&#39;t have to wash it every 4-5 days anymore!

nappynae

ps - thanks for all the advice & sharing my napptural sistas! my experience has been humbling & freeing to my spirit. i&#39;m forever thankful to God for giving my the peace, courage & self-love to be natural, reading everyone&#39;s advice & stories has been nothing but added blessings!

life is a journey, not a destination!

Neosoul
08-21-2003, 08:51 PM
*Less is really more.

I did my big Chop 6 weeks ago and my hair is growing like a weed. So ar I&#39;ve tried only a few products and will continue to work with what works for me instead of getting on the product bandwagon.


* Patience is a necessary requirement esp for those of us growing out the TWA. We would achieve twists and cornrow styles in a heartbeat so we should ejoy the TWA for what it&#39;s worth - healthy, nappy hair.

* Accessorize. Whether your hair is long or short a pretty accessory goes a long way in eleviating hair boredom.


-Nicky-

blueskyy
08-21-2003, 09:00 PM
Originally posted by pookeylou@Jul 5 2003, 07:29 PM
Alot of people have seen this thread...
Becasue a lot of people care about the hair on thier head...
And if you&#39;ve shared a thought or two...
We thank you for all the good you do...
For being brave enough to share your mistakes...
For helping us newbies the wrong path not to take...
As an older wise sister and true friend you&#39;ve been...
From myself and all who&#39;ve seen this, we say "thank you" again.

Here&#39;s wishing all who see this happy, healthy, natural hair!
:afro: :pumpheart: :afro: :pumpheart: :afro: :pumpheart: :afro:
Awww, what a sweet poem Pookeylou! :)

My advice is along the same lines as other advice that has been given:

Texturizers ARE perms. They permanently change the hair. They do the same damage as perms. I once put a texturizer in my hair to make it "easier to comb" and make me "look better". It was horrible. My hair crumbled when dry and tore apart like plastic wrap when wet. So what did I do? Instead of cutting it off and returning to my beautiful TWA, I went to the hairdresser and got a full strength perm. :mad: It took only a week before I felt like my hair was crying. It had been free for so long and then I locked it up again with perms all because of personal insecurity. Which leads me to this...

If, like me, you&#39;re the only one in your group of friends to be natural-don&#39;t let being the odd woman out make you succumb to the pressures of perming. Sometimes you may feel different, or less attractive around them. But if the thoughts surface, remind yourself why you don&#39;t perm anymore (e.g., the burns, the scabs, the all around damaged hair, etc.). Think of how healthy your hair feels now. Realize that you&#39;re just as beautiful as everyone else is, physically and hopefully (more importantly) inwardly. Remember that many of our men and women are still in the dark when it comes to acceptance of the beautiful hair that was given us. So be aware of this when they make hurtful jokes or comments. But also realize that there are many out there who do appreciate natural beauty and admire your courage. You may be a role model or an encouragement for someone and you don&#39;t even know it. Regardless, don&#39;t ever give up your natural gift, just to be like everyone else.

pookeylou
08-21-2003, 09:44 PM
Originally posted by blueskyy@Aug 21 2003, 05:00 PM
If, like me, you&#39;re the only one in your group of friends to be natural-don&#39;t let being the odd woman out make you succumb to the pressures of perming. Sometimes you may feel different, or less attractive around them. But if the thoughts surface, remind yourself why you don&#39;t perm anymore (e.g., the burns, the scabs, the all around damaged hair, etc.). Think of how healthy your hair feels now. Realize that you&#39;re just as beautiful as everyone else is, physically and hopefully (more importantly) inwardly. Remember that many of our men and women are still in the dark when it comes to acceptance of the beautiful hair that was given us. So be aware of this when they make hurtful jokes or comments. But also realize that there are many out there who do appreciate natural beauty and admire your courage. You may be a role model or an encouragement for someone and you don&#39;t even know it. Regardless, don&#39;t ever give up your natural gift, just to be like everyone else.
Now Blue...you just shared some serious wisdom there....

If I had been that together ten years ago....I would have natural, nappy hair out the WAZOO!

blueskyy
08-21-2003, 10:07 PM
Originally posted by pookeylou@Aug 21 2003, 09:44 PM
Now Blue...you just shared some serious wisdom there....

If I had been that together ten years ago....I would have natural, nappy hair out the WAZOO!
Girl, you and me both! :blink: That&#39;s why I&#39;m glad you started this thread and I&#39;m hoping the newbies pay attention to the advice and don&#39;t give up on their beautiful hair. It&#39;s frustrating to look at how healthy my hair could&#39;ve been now (I feel like even though it&#39;s all natural now, it&#39;s still not at it&#39;s full potential because of all the years of having that dangerous perm seeping into my scalp). But all we can do now is learn from the mistakes, resolve not to go back, and help other people to avoid the mistakes in the first place! :thumbsup:

jetcitygirl
08-22-2003, 12:53 AM
Originally posted by bruinhotty@Jul 5 2003, 12:49 AM
*** Be careful of coloring yourself.
Yup, ditto here.
I colored my hair about 7 months into being natural. I still had scab hair on my ends and really wasn&#39;t that familiar enough with my natural hair to be able to tell that it was not in good enough condition to put permanent color on it. Not only that but I did not recognize the signs of dry/damaged hair after I put the color on it. I thought my hair was supposed to be scratchy and dull &#39;cause it was natural. I should have waited at least a year before using any type of color so I could familiarize myself with the texture of my hair first.

FLUFFY PUFF
08-22-2003, 02:37 AM
My biggest hair mistake was.....Trying to adapt to others hair regimens! This is no to say that anyone gave bad advice but I had to find what worked for my hair and move on from there.

nottyfreedom
08-22-2003, 03:06 AM
years of over pressing had altered the texture of mah hair. do not over press/blowdry etc...these are some of the physical reasons i did the chop in february.

what gacela said ITA! what you put in your body has a much greater affect on your hair than any product applied!

love YOUR hair. Don fight against it...listen to it.

notty

pookeylou
08-22-2003, 12:47 PM
Thanks for adding some fresh wisdom to this thread ya&#39;ll...
You may have saved some heads from some tragic mistakes. :thumbsup

deecoily
11-02-2003, 11:19 AM
important enough to bump

shuaia
11-02-2003, 02:37 PM
i can agree w/a lot that has already been mentioned. my hair mistakes in the past were...

*being a product junkie. i tried every product that people mentioned to me. i now know that less (much less) is more in the long run.

*wearing the extensions (braids & weaves) constantly because i didn&#39;t think to learn about my own texture. i was so caught up in the length. even though men claim that they hate fake hair & they knew this was not my real hair i received more attention w/the fake hair. when i realized that i was trying to impress fake a$$ guys i decided that i didn&#39;t want this type of attention & got rid of the fake hair that caused my edges to thin over the years, but now that i&#39;m locing they are growing back in.

*because i didn&#39;t know how to care for my hair yet, i used to use a ton of that thick brown protein gel that dried the crap out of my hair. i would wash & condition then put the gel in soaking wet hair to lay it flat & wear it in a bun for a week. when i got ready to wash it it would be dried out, but in the very center it would still be slightly damp. yuck!!!!

jacura
11-02-2003, 04:02 PM
going out in the cold with a wet head

Natalie
11-02-2003, 04:52 PM
I&#39;m new to this too, so bear with me.

I have very thick hair (not sure what code to use) but if I were to wash it and let it dry, it&#39;s over for me controlling it, cos it shrinks big time. there4, I section it into 4 sections before it dries and leave it like that to dry. I find it lets the hair dry already pulled up, it definately helps me.

I have tried the no-poo method which does not work for me. But again, like others have said, see what works for you.

HTH

ini
11-03-2003, 01:19 AM
thinking i didn&#39;t have to trim

dewdrop
11-03-2003, 01:35 AM
Stay away from Pomeade! :duck

It gunks up in your hair and doesn&#39;t go away.:-?

You get a plumbing bill because it clogs up the shower drain. :-ba

Trying to comb or wash it out will cause scalp pain. :roll:

sincerely,
ex-pomeade user

tdrmaquillage
11-03-2003, 04:19 AM
I didn&#39;t pay enough attention to specifically moisturizing my ends. I&#39;m still pretty weak on that, but I&#39;m getting better.

- Tania :rainfro

josetth
11-06-2003, 03:22 AM
biggest mistake was coloring my hair with Feria. The color looked good but a few weeks after i retouched it (in May).... horrible ends!

i&#39;m not coloring it for a long time and it certainly be a temporary.

...and my hair was going so well. Now i must chop and inch extra.

pookeylou
12-13-2003, 02:47 PM
I remembered this old thread for some reason...

The advice was incredible...and really helped me...

Thought some of the new ones might like it too...or could add to it.

Melissa19f
12-13-2003, 03:55 PM
Stay away from heat and be careful combing, picing and brushing. . . I&#39;ve never been able to grow my hair out because of these things. I pic my puffs out and ignore the popping of my precious strands. I didn&#39;t think about this until recently. Now I&#39;m trying to be more gentle and careful and only comb while my hair is damp or wet. I&#39;m trying to treat my hair with more TLC to get past the five or six inches of hair I&#39;ve only been able to grow.

SassyDiva
12-13-2003, 04:14 PM
My advice to any newbie. Research. Get natural hair books. Go to website,
Also learn to fix and style your own hair, because no hair salon will treat your hair with TLC not like you will.
Stay away from heat
Find the products that works best for you. Dont listen to everything your hear or dont go out and buy every hair product you see.

Learn to be patient, because growing out your hair takes time.
Dont Press y our hair because i dont care what anyone says heat is heat and it will mess up your hair.
My final thought
Stay away from those damn relaxers.

Sykee
12-13-2003, 07:09 PM
Stick to what works
Leave it alone!

spicyjazz04
12-14-2003, 04:07 AM
TRIM!!! and Use ShArP scissors, that you only cut hair with, or your hair will just end up more split than before.

Whitley Gilbert
01-26-2006, 08:18 PM
Bump

Don&#39;t overload with products. It&#39;s really not neccesary. I used to use (and purchase) so many products when I first started out and now things are completely different. I&#39;ve learned that less truly is more. ;)

honeybunch2k5
01-26-2006, 09:17 PM
I&#39;m a newbie, but I&#39;ve already learned a few things...

Stay away from extensions! I have traction alopecia thanks to tight braids.

Do the big chop...I didn&#39;t do the big chop, and I wish I had. I should have taken the time to get to know my hair and not been so concerned about length.

I&#39;m a horrible product junky. I hear a good review about a product and the next thing I know I&#39;m at the beauty store buying it. I have spent ridiculous amounts of money on products in the past month and a half.

Keep your hands out of your head...this could cause breakage! I noticed that the more i played in my hair the more breakage I seem to have.

Do not let people with permed or burnt hair tell you what is good for your hair. Like for example my relatives with creamy crack and burnt hair try to tell me stuff all the time like I need grease in my hair. Well, their hair is damaged and needs grease to add the fake shine. Ignore them when they see you need a r.elaxer.

NappsGalore
01-26-2006, 09:30 PM
For me...
- Absolutely NO HEAT
- Don&#39;t overuse a product thinking more is better or it will make your hair grow faster
- Realize Natural hair needs to be loved. I mad the mistake too many times of not giving it enough attention
- Leave it alone! Don&#39;t go crazy tryin to change styles everyday, that leads to not having any hair to style.
-Come to this site reguarly. It inspires.
Thanks Pookey,
I saw this post, and thought, "I&#39;ve been nappy for five or so years now, and I&#39;m still learning

Genipha
01-26-2006, 09:35 PM
Getting a nappy weave...I was thinking oooh fun summer protective style but it was too tight and cause so much breakage and damage that it will take me years to undo. Wasn&#39;t worth it :angry:



TRIM!!! and Use ShArP scissors, that you only cut hair with, or your hair will just end up more split than before.
[/b]



this is good advice THANKS!

mlduvall
01-26-2006, 10:35 PM
I made 2 mistakes during my transition back to my napptural texture:

Mistake number one was getting my hair p.ressed in preparation for getting it trimmed. My hair was damaged in the front as a result of heat damage (it really defeated the purpose of getting it trimmed anyway). So for those of you have been told that you have to straightened in order to get a precision cut, don&#39;t fall for it like I did.

The second mistake for me was to get highlights in my hair. It doubled my trouble. Along with the heat damage, and the chemical from the highlights, my ends are still trying to recover and it&#39;s been a little over a year (too much to part with at one time :blush: ). The sections that are highlighted is very diffcult to keep it looking moisturised. I would most def. do my research before getting high-lights. There is an article on this site which talks about the different alternatives for coloring hair. Check it out, it&#39;s called : Healthy Hair Dyes (http://www.nappturality.com/modules/wfsection/index.php?articleid=76)

Lesson learned... limit any chemical as much as possible...including heat! HTH

Monica, :wub:

nubianwonder
01-28-2006, 01:20 PM
Don&#39;t take everybody&#39;s word on hair boards as gospel( I don&#39;t care how many post they have under their belt). We are all here to make SUGGESTIONS and provide SUPPORT...you&#39;re the only who can decide what truly works for your hair. And trust me if you&#39;re doing the wrong thing your hair won&#39;t be shy about letting you know. :D There is no magic product or technique...just trial and err coupled with a lot of patience.

Brat :P
[/b]



GREAT ADVICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gilroygal
01-28-2006, 11:04 PM
DO NOT let someone that you do not trust "shape" your afro. Also, learn what works, and if you MUST try new things (as I sometimes do) look at the ingredients.

Honesty
01-29-2006, 03:34 AM
This may not be the desired response but something i would have realized is that you truly have to accept and luv who you are and when the going gets tough and you get discouraged you have to keep your head up, runnin gout and gettinga chemical fire cream will not fix all the stress and drama in your life. All you will end up with is regret, so take it from me, don&#39;t give up on this journey, you&#39;ll only end up with regret

mrandmrsmer
01-29-2006, 04:04 AM
Put a curl on top of a perm. The permed ends had to be cut off, and of course, since I didn&#39;t really grow out the perm, most of my hair had to be cut off.

DUMB
DUMB
DUMB!

LOL

Whitley Gilbert
02-16-2006, 08:32 AM
This may not be the desired response but something i would have realized is that you truly have to accept and luv who you are and when the going gets tough and you get discouraged you have to keep your head up, runnin gout and gettinga chemical fire cream will not fix all the stress and drama in your life. All you will end up with is regret, so take it from me, don&#39;t give up on this journey, you&#39;ll only end up with regret
[/b]

Desired response or not, I think that&#39;s good advice and encouragement for those feeling tempted to return to relaxed hair.

honeyhoney
02-16-2006, 09:49 AM
Great thread!

If I bc&#39;d again I would have had a TWA first of all and not hidden my hair in comb coils straight away.

Also not drinking enough water (still making this mistake...)

naturalay
02-16-2006, 10:55 AM
My biggest mistake i wrote it in my album:

http://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/smilie/teufel/e066.gif HEAT

" As far as HEAT is concerned, i tried it twice " just to see my real length" and my hair was badly damaged twice .
It took me about 3 months to see my hair the way it used to be. Some strands were burnt and i couldn&#39;t even have nice twists. It&#39;s not worth it Ladies . Dee wrote a very helpful topic about it http://www.nappturality.com/forum/index.ph...pic=24408" (http://www.nappturality.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=24408)

Debs
03-16-2006, 03:43 PM
Thank you so much for this thread!!! I wish I had seen this when I BC-ed. But here is a couple of lessons I have learned:

DO NOT go out with wet hair in February in a cold country. I ended up with this horrible cold, a temperature, and a hoarse voice for weeks. In fact, I still have stuff in my throat and I keep having to cough. I now wash my hair in the evening and let it air-dry at home.

Don&#39;t go out buying every product that is out there. As a product-junkie (and I really am, because I can tell you on the spot which body lotion, mascara, lipstick, soap, shower cream - the list is endless - to buy because I have used them all), I can assure you you are only wasting your money! Find something that works for you (and this can take a while) but when you found it stick with it. I am finally setlling in :)

Don&#39;t tell too many people that you&#39;re going natural. You will be surprised at the level of negativity you will encounter, especially from black people. I didn&#39;t make that mistake, and I&#39;m glad I didn&#39;t because I have heard horror stories, mainly because a long time ago, I was once that person that condemned another for wanting to go natural. She ended up p.erming her hair again. Now I wish I was still in contact to apologise for being so ignorant.

don&#39;t be unrealistic with your expectations and don&#39;t compare yourself to others, but learn to love yourself and your hair just the way it is, because if you don&#39;t love your hair, don&#39;t expect anyone else to.

RUN away from stylists that try to talk you into using chemicals to "ease" a condition. My previous stylist of over six years tried to tell me that the dandruff-condition on my scalp was better when I r.elaxed the last time I went there to get cornrows during my ultrashort transitioning period. Needless to say, I never stepped foot in that salon again. Especially as she had been off with me ever since I told her I wanted to stop p.erming.

This may sound rude, but don&#39;t entertain people who offer chemical "advice" on what you could do with your hair now that you&#39;ve gone natural. It&#39;s always good to let people know where you stand on this and they should respect that! After all you don&#39;t offer advice on their ugly, fried, breaking, flat, greasy, stinky hair!

Lafleur
08-13-2006, 09:26 PM
bump for the newbies!

take what you need and leave the rest...

cheetarah19
08-13-2006, 09:59 PM
Be sure to moisturize. Water is your friend.

Syb
08-14-2006, 07:31 AM
When I first had started transitioning, I was still using the same regular "shampoos" with harsh sulfates in them, that I had used when I used to relax my hair. Because that was all that I knew to use at that time.

sirabe10368
08-14-2006, 09:11 AM
Toss the blow dryer, the first time I was natural I created lots and lots of split ends with the giant blow out using the blow dryer.

LEss is definitely more.

sunshine21
08-14-2006, 09:33 AM
Best advice I can give is take the other woman&#39;s experience&#39;s as WORD! I have been all Natural since April but I started my journey in November. I have not added heat to my hair. Any type.....Fl.at Irons, Bl.ow Dryers, Cu.rling Irons. I read the stories in the heat damage section and was scared ironless. Take these woman&#39;s experiences and learn from them. There are even things on here about micro&#39;s damgaging hair. I had micro&#39;s and they did not do damage but I only wore them for 3 weeks. Please be careful with your hair. Learn to love it. I loved my hair so much when I got braids I missed my afro. I have only had my hair trimmed once since I have been natural. And I dont plan on getting it trimmed again until it reaches 7.5 inches. I am at 5 inches now. Be firm when you go to hair salons for trims or deep conditions. Dont let them straighten it.

Most importantly you will get discouraged at times. Look for support on these boards. Dont succomb to the perm. Walking through the hair section in wal-mart was like a battle field for me. Now I can look at the perms and do just that LOOK. There is no longer an urge to straighten my hair.

NAPPY + HAPPY = SAVVY. Savvy about your heritage, Savvy about who you are, Savvy about who you will become.

star13
08-14-2006, 10:44 AM
Wow someone really revived this thread it&#39;s 3 years old :shocker: Cool idea though :D

NappyAmazon
08-14-2006, 11:17 AM
DO NOT let someone that you do not trust "shape" your afro. Also, learn what works, and if you MUST try new things (as I sometimes do) look at the ingredients.
[/b]

So true , 3 weeks after my BC I let the barber shape my afro , well he ended up cutting the edges to short so I still can&#39;t so certain styles becase the sides have not grown in long enough :(

nappysurgeon
08-14-2006, 01:58 PM
#1 Mistake - Using the flaming hot tool of hair torture :(
The next mistake was not moisurizing and deep conditioning, talk about dry. But despite this my hair grew very well.

nap2bfree
08-14-2006, 10:03 PM
Run away from coloring or dying your hair. :bolt: That was a huge mastake I made.
I colored my hair 2 days after my bc. My hair became extreamly dry and damaged. I had instant breakage.
It changed the texture of my hair. :angry:

Don&#39;t doit! Don&#39;t do it! Don&#39;t do it! Don&#39;t do it! Don&#39;t do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nap2bfree

AfrocentricPoet
08-15-2006, 01:34 AM
.....kinky hair will NOT behave like straight hair....don&#39;t force it to do such...it&#39;s like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.
[/b]


I TOTALLY AGREE BECAUSE I SPENT SO MUCH TIME TRYING TO GET MY FRO TO BEHAVE AND EVENTUALLY I HAD TO BE LIKE F IT LOL

hisgrace
08-16-2006, 05:51 PM
thinking i didn&#39;t have to trim
[/b]


Ur hair looks beautiful, how often does one have to trim? :unsure:

Is that twist or curls u have in ur hair, just curious?

Napia Mia
08-17-2006, 09:47 PM
Damage from Microbraids
Left braids in way toooo long along my hairline. I now have some thining along my hairline. Fortunately my hair is really thick so I don&#39;t think anyone notices but me. Also experienced major breakage around my entire head along my hair line. For the most part its growing back nicely. However, I have two spots just above my temples on both sides of my head where the hair grows but must continously break because I cannot seem to gain any length. I&#39;m thinking I much have damaged the hair follicles which are in turn producing weak hair that&#39;s not viable enough to gain length.

Heat
Specifically p.ressing comb heat. Burned my hair straight in several spots last year, and I&#39;m still dealing with the affects of a loosened nap pattern in the top of my head. I think anyone who found NP as a new natural is soooooo lucky because there&#39;s information all over the forums about the danger of heat. I found NP only after I&#39;d done the damage. Knowledge is power. I didn&#39;t know better. Don&#39;t use heat.

Blow drying
Before coming to NP, I routinely blow dried my hair. After I finished, I&#39;d have little tufts and coils of hair all over the bathroom. :doh My poor ends...

Ripping my twists apart
Snap, snap, snap...rip, rip, rip. Instead of taking my time to take my twists out, I used to just rip them apart. I could hear my hair tearing, snapping and ripping as I took each one down. If they knotted at the end, I&#39;d just snap that apart too.

Mineral oil and petroleum based products
Thought grease was my best friend till I came to NP. couldn&#39;t understand why my hair was always so dry. Then I discovered water and glycerin was my best friend. Now I never have problems with dry hair.

Sulfates
Yet another area of knowledge gained from NP. Stopped using shampoos with sulfates in them. This has made a world of difference.

Looking back...I was my own worse enemy. I don&#39;t think I was doing much of anything right before I found this site. Wow. I :wub: NP!

Ketchup
08-18-2006, 02:37 AM
Please don&#39;t hop on the Dye/colour until you know you&#39;ve reached Nappy Nirvana... i.e known your hair inside out!

HapENap
08-18-2006, 06:56 AM
My advice to any newbie. Research. Get natural hair books. Go to website,
Also learn to fix and style your own hair, because no hair salon will treat your hair with TLC not like you will.
Stay away from heatFind the products that works best for you. Dont listen to everything your hear or dont go out and buy every hair product you see.

Learn to be patient, because growing out your hair takes time.
Dont Press y our hair because i dont care what anyone says heat is heat and it will mess up your hair.
My final thought
Stay away from those damn relaxers.
[/b]


Amen to this. I think this is soooooo true. And now as a natural you are even MORE self-sufficient. I am really trying to focus on mastering styles and trying new things. I think in the long run this will make my "hair care" a lot easier.

maibaby
08-18-2006, 07:01 AM
Don&#39;t freak out b/c what works for others doesn&#39;t work for you. I also stopped limiting myself to suggestions from people who&#39;s hair "looked exactly like mine." Also, when you find something that works for you, STICK WITH IT instead of jumping on the neverending product junkie train :blush:

moonchyldcrab82
08-18-2006, 11:41 AM
If you could give a newbie some wisdom...that unfortunatly you had to learn the hard way...or even if you just tried something on your hair during your napptural transformation and it was a major "no, no" tell us what it was...so that we could save ourselves alot of "hair-aches."
I wish I could say, "All names will be changed to protect the innocent..." but if you are brave enough to share...you could save some hair! (hey that rhymed!)

Much love.
:afro:
[/b]

Well I didn&#39;t really BC by choice...I got my last re.laxer in January 2004. In Marh of 2004 I decide to dye my hair. Everything was all good until October of 2004. Growing out your re.laxer in and of itself will cause your hair to break off eventually because the point on each strand at which your hair transitions from re.laxed to natural is very weak. Well everyone knows dying your har can be drying. So trying to grow out my ralxer AND my dye made my hair extra brittle and dry and it began breaking off. Well a "hairdresser" (if you can call her that) advised me to use Joico KPAK to stop my hair from breaking off and add moisture. I didn&#39;t realize at the time that reconstructors add protein and NOT moisture. So my hair ended up breaking off twice as much! It was horrible. My ends were so raggedly so I had no choice but to BC. So in December 2004 I did. It wasn&#39;t a BC by some people&#39;s standards though cuz I still had 4 inches of hair left but I was used to having hair down my back.

liberationtheory
10-11-2006, 04:59 PM
bump

celajewel
10-11-2006, 05:39 PM
[DON&#39;T EVER TEXTURIZE UR HAIR!!!

I am natural for six yrs now (no perm) but I used to texturize once a yr. after couple months especially when u wash ur hair, its all limp and dry adn u have 2 different textures of hair. I hated it so much all straight and crap in the ends. Thank God for this site! I cut all that off and I&#39;m luvin my full thick natural head. You can do it nubbies! We&#39;ve got ur back!

tenia0419
10-12-2006, 08:19 PM
There is a lot of trial and error. Please remember that patience is key.

For me, I had to become re-aquainted with my natural hair. I had to learn how to do my hair and what products worked best with my hair.

One of the best things that I learned about my hair is, less is definitely more. The least amount of products that I use on my hair the more managable it is. I was a product junkie. I was trying everything. I still believe that is a good thing because you are testing different products. But I would find one or two products that worked well for my hair and leave it at that.

HTH
[/b]


ITA... To take a little further... I would keep spaying my hair with diluted braid spray sometimes 2-3 times daily and my hair would still be dry.... I would also co-wash 2-3 times weekly... I am now finding that I my hair stays moisturized if I steam it in the shower and only spray the diluted sheen once ever 3-4 days... I only co-wash once weekly now... Less is definitely more...



ITA... To take a little further... I would keep spaying my hair with diluted braid spray sometimes 2-3 times daily and my hair would still be dry.... I would also co-wash 2-3 times weekly... I am now finding that I my hair stays moisturized if I steam it in the shower and only spray the diluted sheen once ever 3-4 days... I only co-wash once weekly now... Less is definitely more...
[/b]


I probably should clarify that I steam it in the shower daily... not every 3-4 days... peeuuuu :lol:

Rhoyalti
10-12-2006, 10:59 PM
Don&#39;t go to a stylist who knows less about taking care of nappy hair than you do. Just because she&#39;s sporting a twa, too, doesn&#39;t mean she knows exactly what to do.


Like, if one of the first things out of her mouth are that she can&#39;t figure out why her hair isn&#39;t growing and it&#39;s bleached blonde and dry-looking; or if she decides she wants to "try" blow-drying your hair straight to do your trim; or tries to get your hair to curl when it obviously isn&#39;t going to do that by putting goo-gobs of mousse in it...just, you know, for instance... <_<

Sweetwhispers
10-13-2006, 03:56 AM
Stay away from Dye!!!!

LadyThoms
10-13-2006, 08:05 AM
permanent hair dye and harsh shampoo are not my friends! my first time natural, i was not only using harsh shampoo but two times or more a week.

also learned that using oil works better if i add it before i wash or condition my hair. then i don&#39;t have to add anything afterwards. no touch means better definition of texture. plus, no heavy or greasy feel. just soft hair.

MelanieRaven29
10-13-2006, 12:52 PM
Don&#39;t freak out b/c what works for others doesn&#39;t work for you. I also stopped limiting myself to suggestions from people who&#39;s hair "looked exactly like mine." Also, when you find something that works for you, STICK WITH IT instead of jumping on the neverending product junkie train :blush:
[/b]

*Sigh*...*Big Sigh*!!!

I&#39;ve gone through product, product, product!!!

I went through at least six different product routines and umteens of dollars before slapping myself in the head and going back to what worked which was the SECOND routine!!

My advice is, if routine 2 works for you, don&#39;t get to #6, 7 or 8 before realizing you coulda just stayed with what did you good the first (second) time!!

Cammydoll
10-13-2006, 04:22 PM
stay away from dye unless its organic or veggie based the other stuff is too harsh

dont dry comb you&#39;ll lose a lot of hair that way

petrolatum, vaseline based products arent good even in small amounts

expensive doesnt always mean good. Ive had a lot of trial and error in this department.

keep your hand out of your fro once you are done with styling(still hard for me) but it means less breakage in the long run

gowarrant
10-14-2006, 08:24 AM
Well I&#39;m not new to the site I just decided to get rid of my old name and start over since I chopped again over a year ago I still lurk but I take alot of the messages and post on this site at face value. I&#39;m older, wiser, know what I like to do with my hair and won&#39;t be punked... This site is good support but you need to find your inner support first let us pray...

Anywho for current and future newbees. I say try everything you want to try that&#39;s why there is a thing called trial and error. It&#39;s your dime do what you want then you can only blame yourself if you wasted your money right. Yeah I&#39;m harsh next...

Patch test everything do not listen to hype about certain praised natural products on this site and then you have a bad reaction like I had with the so-so natural products that will remain nameless and my glands swelled painfully, my eyes where red and swollen, had muscle aches and skin reactions like ya won&#39;t believe for days. Needless to say I was P.O&#39;d with those makers and ready to crack some skulls .

Check and research ingredients of everything you buy and once again patch test don&#39;t jump into someting blind it&#39;s your body your messing with and you only get one body. As a newbee I used a product that was a lie and didn&#39;t know that it was some watered down creamy crack so I had to start over due to my lack of knowledge. Needless to say I posted my ignorance years ago as a newbee and got jumped on by the holy grail nappies folks made me mad enough to want to locate them...

When all else fails eats lots of protein, fruits, veggies, and drink lots of water...

Last get your own routine glance at others take notes but make up your own. For me I use bad stuff petrolatum based, heavy oils, SLS, with a balance of natural based products and guess what my hair loves the stuff when other nappies I work around ask what I use they are in shock but my hair is stronger, sheds rarely, split ends at almost zero, and growth like crazy. As the saying goes one man&#39;s trash is another&#39;s treasure so my grease stays...

HTH
peace

Formerly cocoamil

pookeylou
10-14-2006, 11:21 AM
Wow...this thread was from way BACK in the day!!! I love all of the timeless advice though.

Ms_Sneed
10-14-2006, 07:10 PM
Microbraids, hair dye, no protective styles, not enough water, and just a lack of tlc!!!

liberationtheory
10-14-2006, 07:12 PM
i am in complete agreement with the above post. COMPLETE. dye is the DEVIL. i&#39;m in protective styles now to make up for mistakes in the past. i didnt know what water meant last year.

and to add, not trimming when you can feel that you need it (dry, rough mangled ends).

frontRHOcenter
10-14-2006, 09:15 PM
I&#39;m one day old in the natural world and my mistake (already) was using too much oil on wet hair. Once again, less is definitely more. I&#39;m still learning!

celajewel
10-17-2006, 07:50 PM
Awww, what a sweet poem Pookeylou! :)

My advice is along the same lines as other advice that has been given:

Texturizers ARE perms. They permanently change the hair. They do the same damage as perms. I once put a weak chemical fire cream in my hair to make it "easier to comb" and make me "look better". It was horrible. My hair crumbled when dry and tore apart like plastic wrap when wet. So what did I do? Instead of cutting it off and returning to my beautiful TWA, I went to the hairdresser and got a full strength perm. :mad: It took only a week before I felt like my hair was crying. It had been free for so long and then I locked it up again with perms all because of personal insecurity. Which leads me to this...

If, like me, you&#39;re the only one in your group of friends to be natural-don&#39;t let being the odd woman out make you succumb to the pressures of perming. Sometimes you may feel different, or less attractive around them. But if the thoughts surface, remind yourself why you don&#39;t perm anymore (e.g., the burns, the scabs, the all around damaged hair, etc.). Think of how healthy your hair feels now. Realize that you&#39;re just as beautiful as everyone else is, physically and hopefully (more importantly) inwardly. Remember that many of our men and women are still in the dark when it comes to acceptance of the beautiful hair that was given us. So be aware of this when they make hurtful jokes or comments. But also realize that there are many out there who do appreciate natural beauty and admire your courage. You may be a role model or an encouragement for someone and you don&#39;t even know it. Regardless, don&#39;t ever give up your natural gift, just to be like everyone else.
[/b]

Words of wisdom. Couldn&#39;t have said it any better...

celajewel
10-17-2006, 08:07 PM
[quote]
Do not straighten. because......well why are you straightening anyway? Be happy nappy and yes you risk losing that nappy crown ---and it is a crown, jeweled in fact -- if you straighten.
and most importantly
DO NOT listen to igorant non-nappturals suggesting that you should comb,pick, grease, straighten, or relax your hair. Find someone who loves you for you because the above fools do not know what it is to accept what God gave them. If our hair was meant to be straight we would have been born that way. I say this because sometimes people&#39;s comments get me down but when I find someone who loves my hair I become upset with myself for even having listened to the negative comments. So save yourself the stress and don&#39;t take offense. It is a struggle but only because people are in denial of the harm they do to themselves everytime they open up that tub o chemical fire cream. They have also been brainwashed by people who say their weaves look cute. Consequently they forget to ask themselves why they must wear that weave in the first place. Say it loud ladies.
[quote]:



................"We nappy and hell yeah we PROUD!!" :D

Ms-gg
10-18-2006, 09:46 AM
I blow dryed my hair for about 3 months of my nappy journey

I straightened my hair with hot curlers for about 3 months to wear it with half-wigs

KnottyAuthor
01-06-2007, 04:45 AM
bump for the NewYear!

MsTee
01-06-2007, 07:43 AM
The "mistake" I made was transition...I wish I was comfortable enough to BC! I admire those who rock their TWAs with pride, and I loooooove watching their growth progress via Fotki.

Oh well...since I am more comfortable with the essence of nappturality (long or short hair), I know I can always start all over at any given time if I want.

grapevine
01-06-2007, 08:00 AM
Harsh shampoos, no conditioner, frying my natural hair with styling spritz and a curling iron in an attempt to make bangs and trying to blow dry my hair straight. Result: tough hair with split ends until I let go of the fascination with a relaxed look.

gowarrant
01-06-2007, 08:41 AM
It&#39;s a new year and I made a lot of changes in my healthcare. Those changes have given me the best all around response to my hair that I feel like a fool for all the crap I did last year.

This is my year of the keep it simple stupid program.

So for newbies I say:

Don&#39;t fall for the PJ crap. Buying all these online "miracle" nappy hair products. Most of the stuff just smelled good, felt good while applying it but it was not long lasting I felt my hair say, "try again fool". All that money down the drain.

Be warned I have a grave yard of these products as proof.

I did one month on my keep it simple stupid program and my hair did a 360 I&#39;m still shocked:

My regime now only consist of these products:

Shampoo--CON $3
Conditioner--Cholesterol $3
Oil--Hot 6 oil $4
Leave-in--Infusium 23 $4
Cream--Afro detangler 1/2 gallon 6-8 month supply $49
Daily hair spray--African pride braid spray $3

My Mom laughed because it almost the same stiff she used in my hair besides the Dax grease before I got my first CFC at 11. My hair down my back in a thick natural cloud and I want that back :P

Now I get detangling slip, crispy ends gone, no more knots, split ends are so rare I keep checking at my ends in amazement. Breakage is ah well I don&#39;t see that problem any more.

So in the end I say when you find and know that product works for you stick with it. It is probably the best route.

Newbies save your money

Oh, and stay away for ammonia based hair color it&#39;s slow death to any head of hair IMO.

ladydd
01-06-2007, 07:38 PM
I am so thankful for this thread, wow a wealth of information.

Briyandra
02-18-2007, 08:44 PM
Bumping for newbies

tocktick
02-18-2007, 11:41 PM
very interesting read. i&#39;m definitely not touching hair dye & this had curbed the product junkie in me.

HoneyDini
02-19-2007, 12:07 AM
I&#39;d say my biggest mistake was not detangling properly. I stopped combing my hair and just relied on my fingers. For some that may be fine, but I was not good at it. As a result, I lost a lot of hair. So now I&#39;m back to using my comb and the condition of my hair is improving.

nappyrina
02-19-2007, 01:42 AM
WOW...I just read all 7 pages of this thread & I think this is amazing....All the advice given is great...I will add this:

Spend time researching online in forums like NP (honestly you are not going to find another nappyloving forum as comprehensive, diverse, inspiring & informative as this one); napptural photo albums (so much advice, inspiration, etc); natural haircare books from the library (can&#39;t beat FREE!!)...I did all of this but still managed to make mistakes (that is a given...your journey will not be perfect)..most of my mistakes were due to being over-anxious & NOT listening to advice or following too much advice at one time (I have issues w/ patience!)...

All of this research will help fill your mind w/ positivity concerning your journey & hope that you can be napptural & at the same time be beautiful, professional, elegant, attractive, employable, etc(which goes against everything we have been taught to think about our natural hair...this will come in handy if & when you encounter negativity from others; be it outright nappy-bashing or unintentional hurtful actions/words casued by ignorance/conformity...education about how to maintain healthy natural hair (styles, products, ingredients, routines, etc) will give you such a boost of confidence & it will be evident & infectious...others who are considering going natural will be inspired & people who aspire to be negative & degrading will no longer see you as an easy target b/c you will exude the kind of confidence & know-how that will serve as Hater Repellent..they will back down in no time!! ...

I think this thread should be pinned & all newbies (guests & members) should be directed to this in addition to or BEFORE they come across the products & online photo albums forums b/c it is sooo easy to get caught up in product junkyism and napptural envy/longing when viewing other albums and anxiously jumping on the bandwagon of whatever product or routine heavily toted by others (still recovering!!)

Apparantly this thread has had a huge impact...it was started in &#39;03 & still manages to reappear, year after year!! Who is w/ me on pinning this thread? :unsure:

emerald06
02-19-2007, 05:06 AM
Mistakes I made:

- Using too many products at one time.

- Sleeping on natural oils, especially olive oil for detangling, castor for sealing ends, and jojoba & sweet almond oil for sealing the shaft

- conditioner obssession. I found out I can use almost any old conditioner if I just jazz it up with oils. I don&#39;t need 52-eleven VO5&#39;s or Suaves.

Things I did that were NOT mistakes:

- Water, water, water! I&#39;m convinced that wetting my hair everyday for my wash &#39;n go not only helped get my hair to 12 inches today (with regular trimming). I&#39;m also convinced that it helped make my hair lustrous with health. :)

Escoveitch
02-19-2007, 05:49 AM
Toss the blow dryer, the first time I was natural I created lots and lots of split ends with the giant blow out using the blow dryer.

LEss is definitely more.
[/b]
Agree 100%.

Don&#39;t believe idiots who tell you not to use conditioner after you shampoo because the conditioner only puts back the mess the shampoo removed. In fact, don&#39;t use shampoo to often either.

raya
02-19-2007, 07:47 AM
Two major mistakes I made were:

1. NOT trimming for years in the interest of gaining length. Once I got rid of the crispy ends, my styles looked better and lasted longer.

2. Blow dryer abuse

PHATDOO
02-19-2007, 08:04 AM
Two mistakes...

Just cause your hair feels soft, it doesn&#39;t give you the right to use a small tooth comb on dry hair.

Second...not washing hair often.

mrsloh
02-19-2007, 10:11 AM
1. Know the truth that YOUR HAIR is speaking to you.

What works for someone else, may not work for you at all!!!


2. Listen to your hair

It will tell you when it needs, whatever it needs, whenever it needs it!


3. The only people who should be cuttin&#39; black hair is a person who understands our shrinkage, curl pattern and texture!

(Great Clips will never get my money again!!!)

4. As tired as you may be, tie your hair down at night if you don&#39;t want to suffer from breakage!


5. If your hairline is delicate, braids - tight ponytails - tight headbands - and the like, will damage your hair really bad

And finally, (I know this has been mentioned several times in this topic but what the heck:

BACK AWAY FROM THE HEAT!!!! DO A 180 DEGREE TURN AND RUN FAST IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!!![i][u][size=7]

pookeylou
02-19-2007, 03:02 PM
I just made a mistake yesterday.

I washed and conditioned my hair. I decided to add a new ingredient to my hair butter...a tablespoon of honey.

I remembered what a great conditioner honey and olive oil was, how soft it made my hair. Why wouldn&#39;t a little bit of honey in my hair butter work too?

This morning I awoke to sticky curls with gummy ends.

Honey is meant to be RINSED OUT. Needless to say I will be washing my hair tonight.

SouthernNYCgal
02-19-2007, 03:06 PM
1. Never ever comb your hair when it&#39;s dry
2. Don&#39;t cut your hair just because you don&#39;t have the patience to detangle. Wet it up, condition it and try again later
3. Don&#39;t ever try a new natural hair do the day you want to go somewhere special. You need to play with it days before

malinda
02-20-2007, 01:24 PM
I wish I had this thread when I went natural. :wub:

Here&#39;s My Hair Mistake Top Five Countdown:

5. Not realizing sooner that I had "good" hair – extremely thick and nappy good hair - "bad" hair is just misunderstood hair. Matting, tangling, breakage, etc. are just cries for help. All hair responds to the proper regimen.

4. Not accepting that nappy hair takes time, but that time pays you back – In the end, 4 hours every two weeks to gently twist my hair averages out to 17 minutes a day - way less than in my permie days.

3. Not planning for that awkward stage – The post-TWA stage is like those awkward teen years. Every time I&#39;ve BC&#39;d for the wrong reasons or went back to the crack "just to loosen the curl" was due to frustration with the in between stage. Get one good protective style under your belt, and you can sail through Nappy High School unscathed.

2. Thinking I needed a complicated regime – once I understood my basic needs, I could go with the flow, and not feel tied to one holy grail product.

1. Taking this hair thing too seriously – The most important growth in my life takes place inside me, not on my head.


Enjoy your journey.

southernbelllle
02-20-2007, 02:21 PM
WOW...I just read all 7 pages of this thread & I think this is amazing....All the advice given is great...I will add this:

Spend time researching online in forums like NP (honestly you are not going to find another nappyloving forum as comprehensive, diverse, inspiring & informative as this one); napptural photo albums (so much advice, inspiration, etc); natural haircare books from the library (can&#39;t beat FREE!!)...I did all of this but still managed to make mistakes (that is a given...your journey will not be perfect)..most of my mistakes were due to being over-anxious & NOT listening to advice or following too much advice at one time (I have issues w/ patience!)...

All of this research will help fill your mind w/ positivity concerning your journey & hope that you can be napptural & at the same time be beautiful, professional, elegant, attractive, employable, etc(which goes against everything we have been taught to think about our natural hair...this will come in handy if & when you encounter negativity from others; be it outright nappy-bashing or unintentional hurtful actions/words casued by ignorance/conformity...education about how to maintain healthy natural hair (styles, products, ingredients, routines, etc) will give you such a boost of confidence & it will be evident & infectious...others who are considering going natural will be inspired & people who aspire to be negative & degrading will no longer see you as an easy target b/c you will exude the kind of confidence & know-how that will serve as Hater Repellent..they will back down in no time!! ...

I think this thread should be pinned & all newbies (guests & members) should be directed to this in addition to or BEFORE they come across the products & online photo albums forums b/c it is sooo easy to get caught up in product junkyism and napptural envy/longing when viewing other albums and anxiously jumping on the bandwagon of whatever product or routine heavily toted by others (still recovering!!)

Apparantly this thread has had a huge impact...it was started in &#39;03 & still manages to reappear, year after year!! Who is w/ me on pinning this thread? :unsure:
[/b]



after reading all 7 pages as well, i too, thought it should be pinned. And before asking for advice on products and routines all newbies are recommended to read this thread first

oh yeah, texterizers are the DEVIL! :icon_headshake:

tinyspirals
02-25-2007, 09:36 AM
If you could give a newbie some wisdom...that unfortunatly you had to learn the hard way...or even if you just tried something on your hair during your napptural transformation and it was a major "no, no" tell us what it was...so that we could save ourselves alot of "hair-aches."
I wish I could say, "All names will be changed to protect the innocent..." but if you are brave enough to share...you could save some hair! (hey that rhymed!)

Much love.
:afro:
[/b]

When I first went natural my biggest mistake was not losing the "permie" mentality. I would constantly straightened my naps, drown it in gels, just so it could look smooth, shiny or european-like. As a result my hair underwent some serious breakage. I didn&#39;t realize what I was doing until I signed on to this website. On this website, I learned how to understand my hair and work with it; not against it.
This is my third time going natural, and I&#39;m not going to manipulate my hair anymore. Right now I&#39;m sporting a 5 month old twa, no gels, or anything to make it slick. I&#39;m sporting my fuzzy, shine free, and nappy fro, nothing more or less. As a result, it&#39;s growing like a weed.

HappyNappiMami
02-25-2007, 12:32 PM
:( Boy did i make mistakes during my transition. Well, i had decided to go natural without any clue on how to take care of my hair or even had any idea there were natural websites. So during the first 5 months of transition i woudl wash my hair once a week and follow up with blowdrying. Then when the growth was too much for a blowdryier to tame, i bough my self a flat flaming hot tool of hair torture and started flat ironing once a week for the next 2 months. :blush: I was under this false notion that natural hair was so much healther that i could just do all of these things without causing much damage :rolleyes: . Anyway, then i found nappturality and got educated about my hair, stopped using heat and cut off all my relaxed hair.


http://public.fotki.com/HappiNappyMami/

drizzle
02-25-2007, 02:16 PM
I&#39;m not a long time nappy, but one of my worst mistakes was using glycerin in an arid environment. My hair was crispy!

enwalker
03-09-2007, 12:41 AM
The best advice I&#39;ve ever gotten was to not do a thing to my hair and let it do its thing. I&#39;m only 3 weeks nappy, sporting a twa, but it&#39;s so soft and I know it&#39;s healthy. I started off with fade-length hair and now i got some hair and I&#39;m so proud of how fast my hair has taken off just int he past 3 weeks. I&#39;ve been told it&#39;s ugly (by permies) but it&#39;s growing and fast, so the heck with &#39;em!

Secrets
03-14-2007, 01:22 PM
My biggest mistake was using heat on my napps. When I had p.r.e.s.s.e.d it I burnt a portion in the back-I was soo upset :Angry: But nw it has reverted back to napptural. My advice dont do it

EarthyDiva
03-14-2007, 01:45 PM
Definitely the heat. I&#39;m talking just blow drying was causing my hair drama.

Avoiding water/humenctants. Wanting to "show length" my hair would go for days without a spritz, or a steam. My hair thrives with daily moisture.

ED

MojoBeat
03-30-2007, 06:15 AM
By two biggest mistakes so far are;

1) Getting extensions. -- Because of this I no longer have a hairline.

2) Abandoning the practices that were successful. -- I stopped using coconut oil and avocado oil in favour of some commercial junk. My hair is now dry, breaking and severely damaged. I feel like chopping it all off.

jweezy
04-14-2007, 10:20 PM
My biggest mistake was wearing microbraids for three months after my BC I kept them in too long... I should have taken them out at the 8 week/ 2 month mark because when I took them out there was A LOT and I mean A LOT of knots and shedding, which I should have expected but I don&#39;t know. Then I wore kinky twists for 1 month about 2 weeks after taking the micros out. I just didn&#39;t know what to do with my new natural at the time. If I had not done this I would have learned to love my TWA way sooner. It&#39;s lengthier now and I absolutely love it. I&#39;m making up for the lost time now with my hand-in-fro syndrome. :rolleyes:

Lovelyred01
04-14-2007, 10:31 PM
My biggest mistake was using heat on my napps. When I had p.r.e.s.s.e.d it I burnt a portion in the back-I was soo upset :Angry: But nw it has reverted back to napptural. My advice dont do it
[/b]

Me too! I cannot stress this enough. I used that darn Maxiglide. That thing really messed up my napps. I learned my lesson big time. My curls came back also, but not so curly. That was about a year ago, what a waste of $80. Yes, yes, I learned my lesson. ~Sorry napps~ :(

buttaflybaby
04-21-2007, 06:53 PM
patience is indeed the key. and i&#39;ve done a couple of big chops! lol but never again. i&#39;ve learned my lesson...just breathe.........and step away from the scissors.

also don&#39;t get too crazy with color and don&#39;t let your hair matte up by not combing it EVER. it&#39;s best to wear protective styles.

and i have to agree with the heat. i hate the way it makes my hair feel and smell...yuuuuck! and those coils take forever to come back if they ever do in some cases. i haven&#39;t put heat on my hair (besides sitting under a hair dryer) in a year or more.

also celebrate your hair whatever texture it is! it&#39;s all beautiful! take it from a gurl with crazy multitextured hair. i love it! it&#39;s unique just like me!

iscott555
04-21-2007, 09:24 PM
watch your trimming!!! I went trim happy and was wondering why I never saw any growth! So just trim as needed and don&#39;t go hacking off all your growth...but do trim.....don&#39;t g o hanging on to raggedy ends so your hair can look longer....your hair will suffer for it

HallieD
04-23-2007, 08:11 AM
Be willing to look beyond the haircare aisle, and use products like essential oils and oils [castor, jojoba, camellia, etc.] The simplest product sometimes works best.

mscocoface
04-23-2007, 09:56 AM
Not realizing sooner that this is a journey that will never have an ending.

Not understanding that this will have ups and downs, hills and valleys. You need all of that to enjoy the journey.

The biggest: Whatever my hair is today is what it will be tomorrow, the next day, next month, next year! This is the texture I have with all its character and there is nothing that is going to change that unless I meddle with it.

Now for a practical mistake I made"
One day I thought I could Aphogee my twists and rinse them out well. NOT! Had to take them down redo everything including the twists. Natural (HEALHTY) hair is not for lazy people! :blush:

notroz2u
04-23-2007, 10:22 AM
The first mistake I made was pulling up the front of my hair for my puffs and having breakage. Once I noticed this, I stopped pulling so tight and the sides grew in nicely. But in doing this I forgot to take care of the back when making a puff and then the back starting breaking.

QueenScorpio
04-23-2007, 08:12 PM
Over manipulating my hair....my hair likes to be left alone, if I comb it daily it breaks and breaks and breaks some more.

Over washing my hair...shampooing twice a week is enough for my hair, any more and it starts to get really crunchy!

(It doesn&#39;t apply to me personally but...) Becoming a PJ...always buy 1 product use it for at least 2 weeks and see the results, if you try it and after the first use your hair rejects it try to swap with someone or find an alternative use to it...don&#39;t splerge buy on products, you probably won&#39;t need half of them and will end up clogging your sink.

Going to a salon and being quiet while the hair dresser ripped through my napps...it&#39;s your money, speak up if the hair dresser is hurting you or doing something you know is harmful to your napps (I had braids done but they were so tight that after 1 week I took them all out, I spent about 100$ on them...boy was I pissed, since then only my mother does my hair ectentions and I&#39;m looking to learn to DIY as well.)

theultra79
04-24-2007, 09:51 AM
I&#39;m still a newbie but the biggest mistake I&#39;ve made thus far is trying to use the same products on my natural hair as I did for the r.elaxed hair. My hair hates cones and the shampoo and conditioner I was trying to use had them. My dry hair felt hard and brittle after washing and conditioning. It snapped off like crazy when I tried to detangle wet. Once I switched over to using all natural products my hair was happy and more beautiful.

Napia Mia
04-24-2007, 10:06 AM
Now for a practical mistake I made"
One day I thought I could Aphogee my twists and rinse them out well. NOT! Had to take them down redo everything including the twists. Natural (HEALHTY) hair is not for lazy people! :blush:
[/b]
Yes ma&#39;am... you got that right. Amen to that one! :P

newnaturaldiva
04-28-2007, 11:24 AM
I have been natural for two years and i recently learned that shampoo wasnt doing my hair any good! Thanks to you ladies I will be giving co washes a try.

Hadasah
05-24-2007, 11:09 PM
This is a nice thread. Bump.
-scrams-

utamu
05-25-2007, 01:09 AM
Neglecting my ends - they often need the most attention and moisturizing. Believe me, it WILL catch up to you. I had to do a major chop last year because the bottom half of my strands were so dry and ragged feeling.

caramelaggie
05-25-2007, 05:03 AM
patience is indeed the key. and i&#39;ve done a couple of big chops! lol but never again. i&#39;ve learned my lesson...just breathe.........and step away from the scissors.

also don&#39;t get too crazy with color and don&#39;t let your hair matte up by not combing it EVER. it&#39;s best to wear protective styles.

also celebrate your hair whatever texture it is! it&#39;s all beautiful! take it from a gurl with crazy multitextured hair. i love it! it&#39;s unique just like me!
[/b]

What is bolded is soooooooooooooooo important.

TalkingYam
05-25-2007, 08:10 AM
Nappy hair can hide a multitude of sins, including uneven hair. This is a good thing. Don&#39;t stress too much about it.

Avoid scissor-happiness if your ends are relatively healthy. Such an obsession can and will lead to unnecessary haircuts, which can then lead to disappointment and hair depression if you aren&#39;t very diligent about who cuts your hair; e.g., the trim that morphs into an unplanned big chop.

Been there, done that. Natural Kinks&#39; encouragement that I trim my own daggone ends was the best bit of advice I&#39;ve gotten from NP.

Also, I&#39;ve gotten very comfortable with a handful of styles. While I love to admire other folks&#39; incredible styling skills, I&#39;m just not that interested in experimenting on myself. I&#39;m not that big on time-wasting endeavors, you know, like if I spend two hours attempting something and I end up washing it out and doing a wash-n-go; I prefer sure things. *shrug* The few styles I wear suit me and, as a bonus, take a maximum of 30 minutes to achieve. I&#39;m good with that.

:D

Ash2005
05-25-2007, 11:06 AM
Biggest lesson: LEAVE THAT DA*N PANTENE ALONE!!! It has cones and it cost me at least 2 inches of hair (which is a lot when you still have a twa)!

Yes some women can use cones, but clearly, I&#39;m not one of them! Too bad I had to learn the hard way :(.

Protective styling is your friend. Do it, it helps tremendously.

Samielle1
05-25-2007, 11:15 AM
I colored my hair about 5 months ago, trying to achieve a reddish color. Instead I ended up looking like Ronald McDonald with a red blown out fro. I just cut it all off and started over.

Nappilocs
05-25-2007, 12:06 PM
I am surprised that I didn&#39;t post in this thread a few years back...lol. My biggest mistake was a few months after my 2nd BC. My hair grows fast but I was still getting impatient.. I wanted my fro to be bigger. So I ran a light flaming tool of torture through my hair to stretch it out a little.. well even though the comb was light, I still fried my hair so much that when I washed it, my ends looked like it was still p.ermed. I remember making a frantic post on NP looking for help to fix this problem, as if something could be done about fried hair :doh. I was a little embarrassed because most of the sistahs were kind unsympathetic :boohoo: :lol:
By the way, I ended up having to take almost an inch off of my hair , so I completely defeated the purpose getting longer hair quickly..

The lessons I learned from that incident was
#1BE PATIENT Embrace and enjoy your hair at it’s current length and enjoy the journey. If you stop obsessing over getting longer hair it’s will be there before you know it. I remember struggling to get my TWA to grow out enough so that I could make a little puff, and look at me now http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n155/Nappilocs/th000_0506.jpg

2) If you want to stretch, you don’t need to heat to do it, you can band it .
#4 The deman brush is was my best friend when I had loose naps #
5) don’t come on NP complaining about screwing up your napps by using heat, especially when there are warnings all over the board.. :lol:

stacy
05-25-2007, 05:16 PM
great thread. i went natural in jun 99, loc&#39;d in march 01, cut locs in dec 06 and i&#39;m rocking a twa now....what&#39;s working now:

- cowashing
- water every day
- limited products
- limited minipulation
- not worrying about if my hair is acceptable to anyone else

happyheadedfro
05-25-2007, 05:27 PM
http://www.happyheadedfro.blogspot.com/

tianatamara
05-25-2007, 06:36 PM
I read through all 9 of these pages and as a newbie, I wanted to say thanks for the wealth of info it was very helpful! I regret not reading this post 6 months earlier before I dyed my hair black!

That’s the BIG mistake I made…it caused my hair to be dried out and hard and it took me 3 months to get my hair soft and back in shape again!

redecouverte
05-25-2007, 06:47 PM
I have learned so much from this thread..it is great when I heard about heat damage since i wanted to do a trim and a stylist told me that he would have to blow dry it first before trimming...i was like...NO, thank you..i went to a barbershop, the lady there did a good job!!
My hair mistakes:
1) using the same products as I used with my relaxed hair
2) It took me a while to figure out that oils don&#39;t work for me, i switched to the no oil routine
3) not trimming for 8 months, my ends were a bit damaged. I think I will trim twice a year.

but everyone is right...napptural hair is a journey. I went to a dinner today with my twists..and everyone had relaxers....a girl was trying to figure out what to with her new growth...another one was suffering from breakage...and they were all complaining about our "kinky"hair that can&#39;t be tamed..
i am so glad i am over that perception!! :D

Lawdmyhair
05-25-2007, 07:02 PM
WARNING!</span>

PLEASE be careful with those at home concoctions! I, one day, decided that I would make the ultimate, super duper moisturizer cream for my hair, based upon all of the recommendations that I have read on this board....sooooooooooo, I mixed some worlds of curls gel with some afro sheen, some stay-soft fro, some olive oil, some carrot oil, some jojoba oil, some sweet almond oil, some HONEY, some shea butter, some coconut oils, and GOD KNOWS what else I mixed in there....and yes, there WAS MORE...LOL


<span style="color:#FF0000">END RESULT:

I was picking out CLUMPS OF CEMENTED product out of my hair for ONE WEEK!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:



Cheers!

Ije

NaturaLei
05-28-2007, 10:34 AM
Mistake #1 Buying way TOO many products. I have enough products to last me at least a year.

Mistake #2 Giving myself a shapeup/edgeup/lineup. I have broad shoulders and when I work out I get that "cocky" build. So I looked just like a dude. I was turning heads--the wrong heads.

Mistake #3 After being called various names by family memeber such as: the slave, Whoppi, the Nigerian Nightmare and the African, I decided I would texturize. Ten minutes later I was standing in Pathmark with an S-curl box in my hand and a cell phone in the other with my friend (a fellow natural) on the line yelling at me to "leave my hair alone and take my black a$$ home". Thankfully, I left my hair alone. It was a moment of weakness and thankfully I don&#39;t have them anymore.

Mistake #4 Putting a horrible curly weave in my hair--with GLUE. I gave myself two dummy smacks for this and it will not be happening again.

Wow, I&#39;m almost ashamed to be typing this...

Lady Dread
05-28-2007, 10:54 AM
If you&#39;re in the early stages of locking,please be patient! Also,DO NOT go to a braiding salon for get your locks done. i made that mistake,and they put beeswax & black gel in my hair,and it was a mess to get out! Find a locking salon,and ask what kinds of product they use. I work in a locking salon,and we use shea butter that my boss makes ,and products from Jamaican Mango & Lime. If you like to use shea butter,use Nubian Heritage Raw Shea Butter Loc Balm.

sugabear906
06-19-2007, 04:27 PM
Love the advice, I have been natural for three months and I am learning!

monappy28
06-19-2007, 04:52 PM
:D Oh, ladies, this is a wonderful thread. I have been making mistake after mistake, but the good thing is, I&#39;m learning from them. I wish I had read this 2 weeks ago! It&#39;s good to see that it&#39;s not just me, because often it feels like it, and that you all share your stories to keep us newbies in line. I love this place!



http://public.fotki.com/soulstar79/

Lady FT
06-19-2007, 07:07 PM
Mistake #1 Buying way TOO many products. I have enough products to last me at least a year.

Mistake #2 Giving myself a shapeup/edgeup/lineup. I have broad shoulders and when I work out I get that "cocky" build. So I looked just like a dude. I was turning heads--the wrong heads.

Mistake #3 After being called various names by family memeber such as: the slave, Whoppi, the Nigerian Nightmare and the African, I decided I would texturize. Ten minutes later I was standing in Pathmark with an S-curl box in my hand and a cell phone in the other with my friend (a fellow natural) on the line yelling at me to "leave my hair alone and take my black a$$ home". Thankfully, I left my hair alone. It was a moment of weakness and thankfully I don&#39;t have them anymore.

Mistake #4 Putting a horrible curly weave in my hair--with GLUE. I gave myself two dummy smacks for this and it will not be happening again.

Wow, I&#39;m almost ashamed to be typing this...
[/b]


Your Pathmark trip made me laugh (not the name calling that got you there though). I&#39;m natural for the second time around so I know the temptation.

The big mistake I use to make is picking my hair out. It never came out even and ripped out loads of hair.

Miss_Parker01
06-20-2007, 12:28 AM
Avoid pressing hair while transitioning. I did that a couple of times and it straigtened the front of my hair (bangs). I could never figure out why it wasn&#39;t tght like the rest until I started reading more on Nappturality. A whole year later and I&#39;m still trying to get rid of the straight ends. Thanks goodness that was the only part of my hair it messed up.

LuaBonita
06-20-2007, 04:21 AM
combing it

redecouverte
06-20-2007, 07:48 AM
a mistake:
looking for the miracle conditioner and being tempted to buy the latest one that everyone is raving about while i have something that works great at home.
I&#39;ve learnt that drinking lots of water help with dryness
manipulating less..
less is more :wub:

nvsnot
06-20-2007, 08:27 AM
BEWARE OF TIGHT HEAD BANDS..etc

i was using the panty hose headband and wore them a lil too tight <_<

now i am growing out a clean mess it made at the top of my head and thinned my sides just a little. but the top of my head put me to tears...i had breakage that left me with 1/2 inch and then a clean line where it had been resting :(

it is growing back and LUCKILY i have very thick hair..so when i wear tiny 2 strand twists...scarves...headbands..etc..on occassion, you can NOT TELL!
[/b]

The same thing happened to me. I became obsessed with wearing a puff and the result of wearing it for several months was broken hair where the headband rested.

afrobeauty77
06-20-2007, 09:29 AM
-If your hair needs a trim, do it yourself.
-Learn to be self-reliant with styles and maintenance.
-If you want growth avoid too many out styles.
-Drink lots of water for moist hair, it&#39;s better than any moisturizer.

shiraz
06-20-2007, 11:45 AM
Biggest lesson: LEAVE THAT DA*N PANTENE ALONE!!! It has cones and it cost me at least 2 inches of hair (which is a lot when you still have a twa)!
[/b]

ITA!! Silicones in general have caused a lot of extremely unnecessary breakage for me. Unfortunately, I just figured out that this was a problem and only recently switched to cone-free products. Luckily, I can already tell a difference, though. ^_^

gradygirl
06-24-2007, 09:39 AM
Great thread ladies. Thanks for all the advice.