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NaTural_High
02-02-2005, 07:46 PM
I just hung up the phone with one of my girls and she keeps getting these psycho bruhs. She feels like she's going to be lonely for the rest of her life and she'll be an old lady with a bunch of cats or just date a white man.. LOL :dunno: . She can't stand myself and 2 other close friends because we're all engaged. Any ways also I was watching the Elder show one day and there were guest that felt like there wasn't any good black men or women out there so they purposly date outside their race. I Just want to say that black love is still real. It took me some Trials and tribulations (and boy do I mean that) to come across my fiance. I've met sooooo many black men who are successful with no children (don't get me wrong..Children are okay). and really want a long term relationship; sistas as well. But they seem to look for things in people that aren't there and end up settling for whoever and still aren't happy. So in your opinion, do you think black love is dead?

tjolims
02-02-2005, 07:50 PM
I honestly don't understand people who want to say that black love is dead. Are they looking for true love or good publicity?

naturalcd
02-02-2005, 08:19 PM
Black love is not dead....I see it in my parents everyday :wub:

Anyways, love is not dead period...that "makes my heart flutter everytime I see you, unconditional, in love with you no matter your flaws, you complete me, God truly sent you" kind of love is not dead period. Whether it be black on black love, black on white love....etc

I'm a hopeless romantic...lol

NaTural_High
02-02-2005, 08:26 PM
Originally posted by naturalcd@Feb 2 2005, 09:19 PM
I'm a hopeless romantic...lol

700304

:pointlaugh: I used to be one of those. That's when I got to the point that, "I'm not going to just take you cause you're a man and make myself believe that you have at least 1 quality I like or even just because I'm lonely." My homeboy used to call me that all the time because he swore up and down I needed a man; That would P me off and I'd deny it...That made me really think to myself that maybe I really was.To me it wasn't that i needed someone it was just that I got a lil' tired of being with me or even casual dating all the time.But yeah I admit it..I was a HR :blush: ...I've been hopeless romantic free for almost 4 years! Yayeee!!

dede22s
02-02-2005, 08:46 PM
Black Love is NOT DEAD......well I hope not!

I have been in a wierd relationship for over one year and this is the first relationship I have been in that I'm not head over heels and it feels great - and he's beautiful. It feels great because I didn't expect anything from him or put together these fairytales in my head about our future. Honestly, My boyfriend and I are together for reasons unknown and I'm ok with that cause he is not usually someone I would date. But for many women we put so much hopes and expectations for relationships and they usually don't work out. I think we as women need to go into each relationship with no other expectations from a man but respect and let everything else fall into place.

I believe love happens when you are fully happy with yourself and open. It's also true that you attract what you are. For example, my friend is sooo pretty, she has the shape, clothing, education, attitude, everything that a man, a GREAT man should want. But she has the lowest selfesteem in the world, and she attracts duds because of it. When she works on herself and sprituality - things will be better for her and the prospect of love.

So Black love isn't dead, we just have to work on ourselves and love ourselves first before we can get it.

NaTural_High
02-02-2005, 08:56 PM
Originally posted by dede22s@Feb 2 2005, 09:46 PM
Black Love is NOT DEAD......well I hope not!

I have been in a wierd relationship for over one year and this is the first relationship I have been in that I'm not head over heels and it feels great - and he's beautiful. It feels great because I didn't expect anything from him or put together these fairytales in my head about our future. Honestly, My boyfriend and I are together for reasons unknown and I'm ok with that cause he is not usually someone I would date. But for many women we put so much hopes and expectations for relationships and they usually don't work out. I think we as women need to go into each relationship with no other expectations from a man but respect and let everything else fall into place.

I believe love happens when you are fully happy with yourself and open. It's also true that you attract what you are. For example, my friend is sooo pretty, she has the shape, clothing, education, attitude, everything that a man, a GREAT man should want. But she has the lowest selfesteem in the world, and she attracts duds because of it. When she works on herself and sprituality - things will be better for her and the prospect of love.

So Black love isn't dead, we just have to work on ourselves and love ourselves first before we can get it.

700359


My relatioship is pretty much like yours except we are both head over hills with eachother. I've never been in a relationship where we both were like that. So that's a plus. He couldn't take being apart from me so he moved me here to St. Louis..We treat eachother like the king and queen we both are. We also(this may be stupid to some lol) get a paper and pencil and write down what's bothering us,what we need to work on as individuals and a couple as well as goals..That cuts down a lot on any arguments. Communication is key as well as being the real you.

naturalcd
02-02-2005, 09:02 PM
Originally posted by NaTural_High@Feb 2 2005, 03:26 PM
:pointlaugh: I used to be one of those. That's when I got to the point that, "I'm not going to just take you cause you're a man and make myself believe that you have at least 1 quality I like or even just because I'm lonely." My homeboy used to call me that all the time because he swore up and down I needed a man; That would P me off and I'd deny it...That made me really think to myself that maybe I really was.To me it wasn't that i needed someone it was just that I got a lil' tired of being with me or even casual dating all the time.But yeah I admit it..I was a HR :blush: ...I've been hopeless romantic free for almost 4 years! Yayeee!!

700317



I think I may need to clarify myself..... :D

I mean romantic in the since of the whole courting idea....it doesn't have to be just cut and dry. It can be exciting like getting flowers or a small gift on a day other than your birthday/valentines/christmas just because I was thinking of you or making the person feel special and the object of your affection. I know that there is reality and we can't be with someone 24/7...I'm just saying that a relationship can be special and you can really feel that someone is connected to you on an emotional level and not just because you look pretty or smell nice.

I'm at the point now that I don't "need" a man to be complete because I can go to the movies on my own and shop on my own...etc and I am still learning about myself. Now, I have re-evaluated my standards and the standards that God has for a man and will accept no less. However, I am waiting on God THIS TIME :P to bring me my other half.


Love,

C

PS...I believe that when I ask God for a relationship like the Song of Solomon...I believe that God will give it as long as I wait on Him!

naturalcd
02-02-2005, 09:04 PM
Originally posted by NaTural_High@Feb 2 2005, 03:56 PM
My relatioship is pretty much like yours except we are both head over hills with eachother. I've never been in a relationship where we both were like that. So that's a plus. He couldn't take being apart from me so he moved me here to St. Louis..We treat eachother like the king and queen we both are. We also(this may be stupid to some lol) get a paper and pencil and write down what's bothering us,what we need to work on as individuals and a couple as well as goals..That cuts down a lot on any arguments. Communication is key as well as being the real you.

700389



I totally agree about the communication part...sounds like you are off to a good start.

God bless

dede22s
02-02-2005, 09:05 PM
Originally posted by NaTural_High@Feb 3 2005, 08:56 AM
My relatioship is pretty much like yours except we are both head over hills with eachother. I've never been in a relationship where we both were like that. So that's a plus. He couldn't take being apart from me so he moved me here to St. Louis..We treat eachother like the king and queen we both are. We also(this may be stupid to some lol) get a paper and pencil and write down what's bothering us,what we need to work on as individuals and a couple as well as goals..That cuts down a lot on any arguments. Communication is key as well as being the real you.

700389



That's great! Not to tell too much but I am in love just not with him! It's a convience relationship and it's nice to have companionship, I just moved back home after graduating from grad school in NYC and I am from a small town and he's the big fish in this small pond and his ego is too much for me, but it's cool for now. But, when I move this may, it will be over. To some it may sound mean or not right, but I am very open about my feelings with him.

And have you heard about relationship reportcards? I will try to find the link.

putafever
02-02-2005, 09:21 PM
black love is not dead. the media is just trying to ruin the black community even further. unfortunately, black folks listen too much to the white community and placate to it causing more black hate than black love. i am starting to hate essence magazine and oprah about the down low thing because black men are not the only ones secretly having bisexual lives. white men are having them with our black men, too. if you look on the internet as for pornography is concern both white men and white women got a huge interracial sex fetish for black men like something crazy. no one even talks how down low white men or hispanic men are giving h.i.v. to their white and hispanic women. not one media corporation is making such a big deal with anyone else but black people on the subject. white folks are number sex freaks, doing everything and anything perverted concerning sex and you are telling me that their sexual health is a-okay? i don't think so!

all this black women/men hating or talk down to among black folks is to create a lot separation between us and make the black folks who hate the black oppossite sex and excuse or scapegoat to date interracially IF dating interracially is a hate act or a despising against blacks instead of being a relationship out of pure, sincere and authentic love. i know some black folks who actual love their parnters who are not black and i know some black folks who will absolutely will not date their own kind-black- as if they think that they are hurting somebody's feelings or think that it makes them more important and educated. however, these are usually the black folks that always, not sometimes, but constantly got something negative to say about the opposite black gender.

we need to stop listening to white people --which includes the media-- because white people never had anything good to say about us and will always harp on the negative.

mstnt
02-02-2005, 10:58 PM
Putafever, I believe you're right point-I can't help but alwayz think when are we gonna stop listening to white folks. Yt knows the black man is dominant and they can longer deny their lust for them, So they keep up the "willie lynch" act to get what they want.

It's crazy because when I ask "What's wrong with black on black love"? People look at me like I stole something. :dunno:

curvycurly78
02-03-2005, 12:30 AM
Originally posted by NaTural_High@Feb 2 2005, 03:46 PM
I've met sooooo many black men who are successful with no children (don't get me wrong..Children are okay).

700217


I totally understand why a lot of women feel this way-the comment I quoted above. Most men will never admit outright that that's a reason they will not be with someone but a man without kids is really not trying to settle down and marry a woman with kids-PERIOD! A lot of men think that this woman will want him to take care of her kids or there's going to be some type of drama. I see this happening everyday. I'm not talking someone with 10 kids (although if she's a great person, why not?) but its as if they are scared off. The only people I know with decent men in their lives are people with only one child-it seems men are able to handle that. So IMO, this (and many other reasons) is why I think black love is DEAD. All the good ones are taken. :dunno:

CrystalD
02-03-2005, 11:11 AM
I don't think Black love is dead. I just witnessed three of my good friends marry great Black men. My parents are also a wonderful example.

I'm with a White man and extremely happy. There aren't any rules. I think Black love exists as well as Interracial love. It makes for a more interesting world, IMO. Peace

ScoobyGurl
02-03-2005, 01:03 PM
No black love definitely isn't dead. I think the problems that many people have is that they're just settling for people who just aren't right them because of impatience or they're looking for the wrong thing. This shouldn't make people think black love is dead. It should make them think of what they need to improve in themselves. Just my :2cents: .

cocoarose
02-03-2005, 06:28 PM
It's alive and thriving more than you think. It's these attitudes that contribute to people thinking that it is dead. There are positive sistas and brothas in the community everyday getting together, loving and uplifting each other.

swingbolder
02-03-2005, 09:03 PM
no one even talks how down low white men or hispanic men are giving h.i.v. to their white and hispanic women.

The HIV rate is much worse among black women in this country than it is among any other group of women. Maybe that's why it gets more media attention. From the CDC website:

"The rate of AIDS diagnoses for African American women (50.2/100,000 women) was approximately 25 times the rate for white women (2.0/100,000) and 4 times the rate for Hispanic women (12.4/100,000)"

Anyhow, black love is not dead. We do need to increase our rates of marriage among mothers though bc all these children being brought up in broken homes is not helping us any.

lovinblack
02-04-2005, 12:47 AM
Originally posted by mstnt@Feb 2 2005, 06:58 PM
Putafever, I believe you're right point-I can't help but alwayz think when are we gonna stop listening to white folks. Yt knows the black man is dominant and they can longer deny their lust for them, So they keep up the "willie lynch" act to get what they want.

It's crazy because when I ask "What's wrong with black on black love"? People look at me like I stole something. :dunno:

700535



Don't worry mstnt

There is nothing wrong with being concerned about Black on Black love. Anytime we show concern for our own, people incld. Blacks have a problem. No disrespect to anyone else with non blks.

lb

Aswadah
02-06-2005, 11:34 PM
Black Love is alive and kickin' in my world. I met a strong and beautiful Black man when I was 20 years old and we married two years later. This year we will be celebrating our 12th Year wedding anniversary. I believe in Black love wholeheartedly and know that if we give it a chance, we will build stronger communities. We share the same experiences and can uplift one another like no one else can...but we have to be willing to put in the work to make our relationships work. I wouldn't want any other man, but a Black man (and I have sampled others). Only a Black man can feed my soul the way it needs to be fed.

moejoe4
02-07-2005, 03:22 AM
Black love is definitely not dead. It is about yourdself first. Sometimes we(black women) are looking for this fantasy man, but we haven't taken the time to find ourselves. It is very important for anyone(man or woman) to be at peace with yourself, know who you are, love yourself and embrace those things that make you a little uneasy, before God will place The One in your life. You dont want to have that person and stil have yet to deal with yourself. The changes that may take place in you as a person might not hold that love and attraction from your mate, and then you have lost what you thought was love.

:afro:

Button2004
02-07-2005, 03:28 AM
How is this for black love?

http://i.xanga.com/DefinitionofLove/t/raulloveslala1.JPG

It is very much alive in our relationship and we have our ups and downs but we are both trying to do something with our lives and we are in love. This is the one for me. I know that for sure. I love the way we talk through our problems and I love that I can trust him and we both have similar interests and we are both growing together as individuals. I believe we have a very mature relationship and it is thriving.

So, I believe it still exists, but I am happily biased. ^_^

:wub:

~Button

Aswadah
02-07-2005, 06:09 AM
Button, ya'll look absolutely beautiful together. That's what I'm talkin' bout!!!! :Cool_049: We can't believe the hype.

miko31879
02-07-2005, 07:21 AM
:smil3f9cf95099cff:
hey Aswadah, you know Idris is ALL mine right??? :P

Akenjeli
02-08-2005, 02:47 AM
Peace and love.

I live the beauty and wonders of Black love everyday. My Boo, my Man, my Bestfriend, my Hubby defines it for me in every way.

Love can be defined in so many ways, but ultimately, the balance, peace and happiness thats sought within ones spirit that personifies love isnt dead. Love resides and is birthed within the spirit - atleast for me, and my spirit almost jumped out of my essence when I met my husband. I remember vividly telling an ole friend years before my husband I started to date that there was something about him - my husband. I couldnt even pronounce my babys name at the time. But, putting the knowledge to it, it was my husbands spirit that I noticed - that attracted me. The third eye always knows. Remember love resides in the spirit.

Black love is rich, undefinable, and seemingly unrelatable by others outside of our community. Dead nah ... its very much alive and strong. Overly, I believe what we omit to acknowledge is the echo of our spirit when that ONE actually comes into season.

I thank the Creator everyday simply for understanding love and for being blessed with a brotha whose spirit connects, balances and energizes mines - NOW THATS BLACK LOVE ...!

Peace love and many blessings .. Ashe

Aswadah
02-08-2005, 05:55 AM
:smil3f9cf95099cff: hey Aswadah, you know Idris is ALL mine right??? :P

LOL!! Girl please, Idris LOVES me...he just don't know it yet. ^_^


I thank the Creator everyday simply for understanding love and for being blessed with a brotha whose spirit connects, balances and energizes mines - NOW THATS BLACK LOVE ...!

Akenjeli, that's peace right there. I'm really feelin' this. :icon_heartpump:

I tell ya, this Black Love thread is very refreshing. I'm glad to see sistas here expressing that still appreciate the wonder and beauty of Black men. Gotta love 'em. :wub: