PDA

View Full Version : Giving Black Men Their Propers



Angelsam
02-16-2005, 03:15 AM
We've talked about them wanting white women, being intimidated by upwardly mobile sisters, abandoning children and everything else negative under the sun, Isn't it time we aknowledge those wonderful men (imperfect as they are) we call our brothas?

I'm so sick of us pointing our fingers at black men as a group because as a race and as individuals we have issues. I'm so sick of us buying into the image that is fed to us by the media. When are we gonna stand up for our men and sing the praises of the good ones as loudly (or louder) as we criticize the not-so-good ones?

I know it feels like we do support them and they don't support us back, but why are we making those guys our focus?

The men in my family are some of the best fathers I've seen. My own Dad, though he had some serious obstacles to overcome, is an unbelievable man with a commitment to his family that any one would kill for. My brothers are extremely involved fathers (married to the mothers), don't cheat and are good human beings overall. In fact the only man in my family (and I have a big one) not active in his child's life is my ex. He has his own demons to beat and I will never disrespect him, only pray that he gets it together and resumes his life with our child.

I know some men who had/have a lot of growing to do, to say the least, but don't we all? I know some that are downright dogs but I'd rather devote my attention to those that aren't. Besides sometimes I think we as women help to create those monsters but that's another topic.

Let's hear about the men in your lives that defy the stereotypes! (which I believe to be the minority)

growunatty
02-16-2005, 03:25 AM
peace...i support this post.

i will add
my grandfather
who died before i was born
is being honored in Thysville this year for his contribution to the education of the people there.
he's from haiti. during the Papa Doc regime teachers and the like were being persecuted, kidnapped and killed in the streets.
his family and many like his moved to various places in afrika.
kinshasa was in need of teachers
since the belgians (who were running the schools) fled after independence.
he opened up a school in Mbanza Ngungu
he was the head master aka principal.
if i can find the website has info on the celebration, i'll post it later.
i don't know exactly how much he affected the people there (obviously alot since he is being honored :)) but i do know he inspired my own father to work with children
(he was a social worker) then eventually become an educator
(he has been a teacher for 20 years in brooklyn)
and his daughter, my aunt is also a teacher in brooklyn. she teaches elementary.
his other daughter, a chemist is on the board of education here where i live.
my sister has also followed in his footsteps. she is a teacher in the southbronx. she teaches 2nd grade.

also some of my mother's brothers and sisters attended my grandfather's school in mbanza ngungu.
he touched a lot of people and set an example for his family
who have made it their lifes work to educate and help others.

PEACE

SouthernShorty
02-16-2005, 04:46 AM
What a great topic!!!!! :smil3f72836ee752e: I know some great black men, but I'm not going to come on here and boast about how good my baby is (and he is):icon_heartpump:. I think it's great to do it publicly and share our stories, but more important to tell the good men you know that you see them and who they are and what they're about. I know I tell mine all the time; he knows I know his value and I make sure he knows it too. I always tell him I'm his biggest supporter and #1 fan. I hope this is one of the topics that really blows up. I look forward to reading some positive posts. :)

growunatty-That is a beautiful story; I know you must be very proud of your family. My paternal grandfather was the most humble, easy going, responsible, loving, and Christ-like man I've ever known. Every encounter with him left you better off than you were before. He got along with everyone, and was probably loved by most people he met. I know he's in heaven now. I can't leave this thread w/o mentioning him. He exemplified what is is to be a great man everyday that he was on this earth, so I can't list any specific examples that shine above the rest. I only wish his sons were more like him, but this is a positive thread so enough said.

masoesa
02-17-2005, 03:02 AM
Ai, it started so well. Sure we all have issues but that's not the point right? I like the idea so I hope to continue to read more positive stories. Here is mine.
A school in Suriname (where I am from) was named after my grandfather who was one of the 1st black men who studied abroad. I have a dad who is the best father one can wish for.

morena23
02-17-2005, 04:26 AM
Originally posted by masoesa@Feb 16 2005, 07:02 PM
A school in Suriname (where I am from) was named after my grandfather who was one of the 1st black men who studied abroad.
721351


Whoa!!! That's cool!

swingbolder
02-17-2005, 04:43 AM
My father is amazing. He started his own business at age 24 and put all four of his children through college. Still loves what he does and says he'll never retire. Still has dreams. He told me to follow my heart in terms of what I do with my life. He always taught me to "never take any ish from anybody, including me." He's outrageously blunt and funny as all get out. D@mn smart too. He also published three poetry books and supported himself through college working as a lounge singer. My parents have been married nearly 50 years.

My husband is amazing too. Our six year anniversary is coming up soon and we're still all googly about each other. He's a:

-good provider
-excellent father to my child
-soulmate
-incredible lover
-decent and honorable
-protector
-& smart, like an encyclopedia
-completely supportive of me in all my endeavors
-gives great back rubs (has big warm hands)
-loves nappy hair on women
-And he's been wearing dreadlocks for 17 years.

Hartu
02-17-2005, 05:31 AM
Great posts, wish I could contribute...
These stories are inspiring. :wub:

swingbolder
02-17-2005, 12:20 PM
Maybe we don't "need" a thread giving the brothers their props but it sure is nice. . . I'd love to stumble on black men's board and see a thread like this in honor of their black queens. . . not comments talking about we don't need a thread like this bc the sisters have issues. . . we all have issues after all. . . there's so much negativity out there regarding black men -- and black women too -- that some positivity is really a breath of fresh air.

SouthernShorty
02-17-2005, 03:31 PM
I'd love to stumble on black men's board and see a thread like this in honor of their black queens

I've done that before, they are out there.



Okay, maybe we can get back on track now that there's a spin-off topic.


Black men, you were once great; you shall be great again. - Marcus Garvey

Black males have long intrigued the western imagination, whether as gods or kings in much of classical antiquity or devils or sambos since the high Middle Ages....Tragically, every African American male who walks down any street in America carries with him the hidden heritage of this negative cultural and psychological legacy. - Henry Louis Gates Jr.


I love me a good black man :)

Nappilocs
02-17-2005, 04:01 PM
My dad, my two brothers and some of my uncles and cousins are examples of Good Black men.
I think we need to spend more time giving props to the Good black men and less time talking about all of the negatives.
Yes, I know there are some sorry black men out there, but there are some sorry sistahs out there. If a boy grows up in a home where a mother is always b**ching and moaning about trifling azz black men, her son can grow up to have self hatred and resentment towards sistahs which causes the cycle to repeat itself.We need to start trying to figure out how we can help change the situation. I am not saying that we should be totally responsible for what brothers do but sometimes we are part of the problem. Many of us are raising these black men that we despise so much.
I may date out of my race, I have had some brothers do me wrong BUT I STILL LOVE YOU BROTHERS!

Ravensholst
02-17-2005, 04:55 PM
Originally posted by ScoobyGurl@Feb 17 2005, 07:21 AM
I don't think you'll see white women starting a thread on how great their white men yet we as black women feel this constant need to put black men on pedestals. Why is that?
721733


How do you know you wont see this? Do you go to messageboards that are primarily white to know? And why must we not do it just because some 'think' that other races dont do it? So, if white women did it it would be ok for us to do it then?

I think black men are the most demeaned and degraded men in the world. I'm not saying that black men dont have issues..but! I think people in general have issues..and the black man is no different. But, I'd rather praise and uplift them than to sit back while they get a totally bad rap. Ever heard the saying "the good suffer with the bad" ? Why not offer words of praise for the good ones..since we know that they are out there. If we dont do it, its clear that no one will. And black man deserve praise just as I feel black women deserve praise.

BTW, I have seen a thread about a black man loving black women...

rozlips
02-17-2005, 05:48 PM
BTW, I have seen a thread about a black man loving black women...

Can you post a link? I'd love to see it. I've been on these message boards for nine years now and I have yet to see such a thing. It would be hella cool.

RBLS4LYFE
02-17-2005, 05:57 PM
Originally posted by Angelsam@Feb 15 2005, 03:15 PM
Let's hear about the men in your lives that defy the stereotypes! (which I believe to be the minority)

719831



Please, if u r confused about what to post, go back and read what Angelsam was asking us to share ... Keep the negative comments from this particular thread, I believe this thread is about positive brothas...thanks y'all!


:smil3f72836ee752e: ----->ScoobyGurl.


edited for clarity

Ravensholst
02-17-2005, 05:58 PM
Originally posted by rozlips@Feb 17 2005, 11:48 AM
Can you post a link? I'd love to see it. I've been on these message boards for nine years now and I have yet to see such a thing. It would be hella cool.

722198



Nah, not on Nap, I've been on other messageboards and I saw one on one of those. Sorry, cant getcha the link it was a while ago but, they're out there.

AfroStarDust
02-17-2005, 06:01 PM
I know of PLENTY black men who LOVE black women, they may not spend their time on message boards, but they feel strongly about it and have NO QUALMS about voicing it! Maybe some of you ladies who think that isn't the case should look at the black men you are basing these stereotypes on. :rolleyes:



So, if white women did it it would be ok for us to do it then?


Girl, I thought you knew that. That is what we must use as a foundation for all that is right, and how we must live our lives as black women to be just like them :rolleyes: - "you ain't know"?

Angelsam
02-17-2005, 06:52 PM
I don't know how to edit my original post but I wanted to be clear that I believe the stereotype to be the minority... not those who defy it. I see that I didn't word it very clearly.

I must say that I'm disappointed with the direction this has gone. I don't think that we shouldn't debate some of the issues mentioned above, but I didn't want this paricular thread to be the place.

I personally was enjoying reading about the special men in the lives of others and the things they have accomplished. I believe that part of honoring loved ones is sharing with other people how much we love and appreciate them.

If you don't want to do that, that's your choice. But please don't rain on someone else's parade.

ScoobyGurl
02-17-2005, 07:34 PM
Originally posted by Ravensholst@Feb 17 2005, 11:55 AM
How do you know you wont see this? Do you go to messageboards that are primarily white to know? And why must we not do it just because some 'think' that other races dont do it? So, if white women did it it would be ok for us to do it then?

I think black men are the most demeaned and degraded men in the world. I'm not saying that black men dont have issues..but! I think people in general have issues..and the black man is no different. But, I'd rather praise and uplift them than to sit back while they get a totally bad rap. Ever heard the saying "the good suffer with the bad" ? Why not offer words of praise for the good ones..since we know that they are out there. If we dont do it, its clear that no one will. And black man deserve praise just as I feel black women deserve praise.

BTW, I have seen a thread about a black man loving black women...

722111


I responded to your post in the spinoff thread.

Moderator W
02-17-2005, 08:04 PM
Keep this thread on topic! If you don't have a positive reflection about Black men, don't post.

The OP has explictly asked for positive posts. Respect this. Off topic posts have been edited.




Back to Topic: Most Black men I know are wonderful, loving men. They honor their sisters, and have remained strong in the face of many obstacles society has put before them. :wub:

Moderator W
02-19-2005, 01:40 AM
bump

QueenLocks
02-19-2005, 06:38 AM
For centuries, the black woman's body was NEVER HERS! The slave master could use it any way he wanted to! Even during Jim Crow, {in the south} he would yell at a black man to bring out his wife, daughter, mother, sister, and Use her {Rape, Beat, Molest, etc.} as he saw fit!

NOW! {in the last few decades} Black women have the right to choose Our Men, without the slave master, good 'ol boys, racist white men violating us.

To be with a black man, is an honor and a privilage!

AJoyrnee
02-19-2005, 12:55 PM
*waving church fan in the air and humming*

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell!

:wub:

blakuniquetai
02-19-2005, 01:15 PM
To be with a black man, is an honor and a privilage!

724795
[/quote]

Sista! Let me cosign you on that :pointlaugh:

My father is and was the first positive role model in my life. He always encouraged me to embrace my Blackness , my uniqueness and simply, just me :D

Along my long and ongoing journey, I have been fortunate to meet beautiful and conscious brothers, who were either just friends or became my significant partner at the time.

And,as of 31st December 2004, I became his other half :D My King is my Alpha and my Omega. He's my shelter and sanctuary whenever things get rough for me out in the world. He accepts me for me. Unconditionally. I love me some of him :hug:

I've just received some beautiful news... We found out we are pregnant :wub:

Yay!!! I feel so Blessed :D

Peace

QueenLocks
02-20-2005, 12:24 AM
Congrats Blakuniquetai!!!!!!!!!!!! Yea!!!!!!!!!!

sharynleigh
02-20-2005, 11:16 PM
I just came back from Towson, MD today and I was there for my brother Greg's 50th birthday. My brother was honored by the people that he touched in his lifetime. He went to Brown University during the 70's and started a Christian movement there called Romans 8 which is still active today. Person after person came up to tell how they were touched and encouraged by him. He gave up a career to go to Harare, Zimbabwe to start a ministry. Even in the midst of the party to honor him, he asked people to help him help the people in need there.

I have five brothers and they were raised to be responsible men. They have met that challenge and have encourage other men to be the best that they can be. I am proud of them.

morena23
02-20-2005, 11:29 PM
Originally posted by blakuniquetai@Feb 19 2005, 05:15 AM

I've just received some beautiful news... We found out we are pregnant :wub:



724941


What wonderful news!! What a blessing!!

awren
02-23-2005, 12:27 PM
http://www.nappturality.com/forum/index.ph...arnished+images (http://www.nappturality.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=44507&hl=tarnished+images)

tran68
02-23-2005, 08:13 PM
Let's hear about the men in your lives that defy the stereotypes! (which I believe to be the minority)


Not I said the fly.....BM being REAL MEN and models in the community, etc. has never been the minority in my life. Long term marriages where folk still actually enjoy being married after decades on end.....my Pops was always about FAMILY, he never left anyone out of his umbrella of love and it was an example that we carry on as a family today.....they lift you up, build you up are THERE and PRESENT when ALL ELSE fails....FAMILY....LED by the black man....that's the example I learned from him and many men in my family and those I was exposed to growing up. :)