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MariposaMorena08
10-29-2003, 02:58 AM
Get this, ya'll! I just signed a teaching contract to teach until June with a small, Christian school. That is great news, but I was told of a dress code before I signed in which female faculty members are only allowed to wear pants for special events...that was okay with me. AFTER I signed they told me that I could not wear my natural 4a/b hair out at all! (Oh, HECK naw!) (box I wore puffs to the interviews and assumed that they were hiring me along with my hair! I feel like I have been tricked! They don't even allow braids or twists...that leaves puffs (which will break my hair if worn everyday) or pressed. What in the world can/should I do???? Did I mention that this is Black-owned, private school?!

CallaV
10-29-2003, 03:03 AM
Now what reason do they give for not allowing braids or twists? Do they think it will be too distracting? Does this rule apply to everyone or are you special? I don’t mean to fire off so many questions but I’m curious. I know some private schools regulate the clothes that their staff wears but I have not heard of them trying to regulate hair. I wonder why they waited until they hired you to tell you this.

earthangel
10-29-2003, 03:06 AM
Whuuuut, are you serious?!?! Are there other nappies there? What do they do?

Hmmm, you needs some ideas for styles, AND FAST!! How long is your hair? Can you do the banding technique for stretchage, and try some buns? Twist out buns are always good too. You can get some tortoise hair clips and get some updos going.

HTH!!

deecoily
10-29-2003, 03:09 AM
you have GOT to be kidding me.

A Black CHRISTIAN school has a policy like this? How long is your contract?
Ask them the following:

1.What do they mean by "out" when referring to your hair? and if the same restriction applies if you straighten it.

2. What styles do they recommend? And ask them to show pictures or examples.

3. Ask them if headwraps are OK. If not, why?

4. Ask them why braids/twists are not acceptable? Are they too "ethnic-looking?"

5. Ask them if they have a Black History curriculum and if so, do they teach their students about Jim Crow.

6. Ask them if Jesus would accept you, even with your natural hair. If so, why can't they?

Unbelieveable.

~Dee~

MariposaMorena08
10-29-2003, 03:10 AM
I'm guessing that they feel that it would be too distracting. I'm am the only teacher that wears my hair unpressed and may be the only natural! There are 2 students that are natural and they wear puffs to school. I feel that they were being deceitful by witholding information that would directly hit home to me. They also informed me of a couple of other rules that are nonsense! I don't know *what* to think!! :tiptoe

Neosoul
10-29-2003, 03:13 AM
Mari,

I think it's misleading that they didn't tell you this before but if you can't afford to decline the position, you'll have to find other ways to wear your hair.

I know you're angry now but I'm sure if you care to you can find some great styles in the online albums.

:blab Sorry this happened...I would have been annoyed too.

-n_

deecoily
10-29-2003, 03:15 AM
Oops, just realized I thought you said Christian school, but you said private school.. oh well. What I said still applies to private school :-o

ini
10-29-2003, 03:22 AM
Originally posted by deecoily@Oct 29 2003, 12:15 AM
Oops, just realized I thought you said Christian school, but you said private school.. oh well. What I said still applies to private school :-o
she did say Christian school and I think that's just wrong!

I say you ask them the questions Dee suggested. Have they not read in the bible that Jesus' hair was like wool? http://www.roshini.net/images/smilies/dry.gif

Patrina
10-29-2003, 03:23 AM
I think they waited until you signed a binding contract (that you probably won't back out of) to spring that last bit of info on you. I say beat them at their own game. Do everything they request as far as hair goes. Why? Maybe you can teach the youth( and a few of the old foggies) about the versatiliy of natural hair. And you get to keep your napps and your teaching contract too.

And it is silly for a Christian school (or any other instiution) to say you can't wear your NATURAL, GOD GIVEN, NO CREAMY CRACK USING, BEAUTIFUL NAPPY HAIR ANY BLOODY WAY YOU CHOOSE! :rolleyes They need to concentrate on the word that you will be giving these children instead of how you look doing it....and I bet you'll look FAB-U-LOUS! :thumbsup I hope everything works out.


Peace and Napptural hair grease :rainfro
Patrina

natural@_20
10-29-2003, 03:29 AM
U should get a lawyer. That's misleading to have you sign the contract first. And U say it's BLACK owned. Hmmm....oh well, I'm always ready for a challenge involoving the napps(I also know a very good nappy lawyer if U need one.)

Sekhmet
10-29-2003, 04:16 AM
MM, what does your contract say? Does it clearly list these "rules" that they sprung on you after the fact? If not, then they may not be enforceable as part of your employment contract.

Is there wording to the effect that this document constitutes the entire agreement between the two parties? [This means that the full agreement is in writing and no oral modifications or additions will be considered part of the contract.] If your contract does have this language, and they don't have this anti-nap policy included on that document, then you have a basis to NOT concede to their wishes. Otherwise, it might mean a battle over the naps and you'll have to decide for yourself how you want to handle the situation: concede, compromise or fight.

Cia
10-29-2003, 05:45 AM
please, please do as others mentioned and read over your contract with a fine toothed comb (not ment for nappy hair). if it isnt in writing then it sounds like bs to me. :oops:

NappyRed76
10-29-2003, 06:00 AM
They messing with my twin...I can't believe what I am reading. I can't believe a black-owned private christian school has this type of rules...I agree with Dee in you should ask them those questions and I agree with everyone about reading over your contract. I hope everything works out for you twin.

LBellatrix
10-29-2003, 11:37 AM
I completely agree with natural@20, Sekhmet, and Cia.

Read over your contract VERY CAREFULLY. If those rules are in the contract that you signed, unfortunately you're out of luck. However, if they're NOT, then you have a legal leg to stand on. Consult with a lawyer to see what your rights are.

Folks...just because something is black-owned doesn't mean they're not still in the Matrix re hair. If anything they're DEEP into it because (as many of us know) it's often our OWN people who have the most negative things to say about nappturals and napptural hair.

Oh! Gosh! Look at my sig for another question to ask them! :)

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elleebeme5
10-29-2003, 12:24 PM
I don't know that they can legally require you to alter your hair. Does it specifically say you can't wear your hair in the styles you mentioned? I'd probably be fired because I'd wear my hair in professional styles that might include a fro, might be twists, might be cornrows...

I hate to see incidents like that. It gives Christianity a black eye that we don't need. There are few things that I really really know. One of them is that Jesus loves me, twists and all.

MariposaMorena08
10-29-2003, 12:42 PM
Thanks, guys! I have read the contract and there is no part that specifically applies to the dress code, per se, but it does state that they can break the contract for whatever reason they choose. They could choose to let me go for breaking the rules, in spite of the fact that they withheld some of them until after I signed the contract. I wouldn't have such a problem if they would allow twists, that way I could have twisted my hair for the duration, but they don't allow that.

As far as styles, I just cut my hair into a length that is only a little bit longer than the picture in my album where I am holding my daughter. My hair had been cut in layers that I am now trying to grow out so I'm limited as to how many styles I can do. I'm trying to avoid pressing it but it seems like my only option outside of the puff. I'm wondering whether I would even be able to get all of my hair back into a bun after banding. I'm kind of at a loss for words and options here.

I'm not going to sue because I know that God will work something out through this. I will definitely talk to the principal about the way that this was sprung on me and explain to him my situation. In the meantime, I need styles!! :yel

IrisDaVirus
10-29-2003, 12:53 PM
I hope you're making plans for this job to be temporary and not permanent!

Maestradiva77
10-29-2003, 01:21 PM
Grrrr!! This makes me so mad! I am so sorry that you were put in such an awkward position. Whatever you decide to do, please keep us updated. Stay strong, happy, and nappy!!

Neosoul
10-29-2003, 01:39 PM
I think you should try the banding first and see if:

your hair can be pulled back in a bun before you press.

Try twisting your strands, then "bunning" them as well

Or you can cornrow/flattwist the front and/or the back, twist the middle and bun that too

Good luck to you and you're right, God'll help you find a way to deal with this. You might be surprised at the outcome.

-n_

earthangel
10-29-2003, 01:42 PM
6. Ask them if Jesus would accept you, even with your natural hair. If so, why can't they?

Amen Dee!!

Don't press!! Try the banding first, see what happens. Set some time aside to experiment with some styles after banding.

masoesa
10-29-2003, 02:17 PM
I still think you should ask the questions Dee listed. They witheld information and it's not rude to ask. If braids and twists are not allowed, you will need answers and suggestions. It just can't be possible that you have to press or relax your hair to do the job.

Twistednkinky
10-29-2003, 02:37 PM
Originally posted by MariposaMorena08@Oct 28 2003, 10:58 PM
What in the world can/should I do????
There is a plethora of food for thought to digest, offered by several members. I most certainly hope that you will take heed to the sapient counsel offered in this thread!

Best wishes to you and please please keep us posted! I am very anxious to hear the end result!

Peace & A Multitude of Abundant Wisdom

natural_butterfly4
10-29-2003, 03:18 PM
What's wrong with our people? Our hair is beautiful. After all everything God made was and is GOOD! If you don't ask them anything else you need to ask them this:

6. Ask them if Jesus would accept you, even with your natural hair. If so, why can't they?

Dee,

This is a great question. I think with this question nothing else is needed to be said.

They'll be lookin like :shock since this is a CHRISTIAN school.

troublefunk
10-29-2003, 03:36 PM
I still don't understand why people want to make such a big deal about hair in the workplace. I mean does the style of your hair really affect the quality of your work? Or is it merely a reflection of your personality and character? Well, they certainly thought enough of your character to offer you a contract. I mean it's not like you walked in there looking like this ---> :rainfro
I just don't understand them. And I guess they refuse to understand us.

misslaina
10-29-2003, 04:14 PM
A similar incident happened at a high school here except it was a student having a problem in an all white school. They told her she couldn't wear braids or natural styles because it was an unkept look. She tried to fight it and eventually lost and switched to an all black high school. I don't understand rules like this. I think a lawyer is definitely in need.

MariposaMorena08
10-29-2003, 04:19 PM
I think that beyond praying (quite earnestly I might add) I will take Dee's advice and go talk with the principal. EarthAngel, thanks for the hair ideas!!!! :thumbsup I will try banding and see how it does. I can't have more than 8 braids in my hair. To the person who asked whether this job was a temporary one, it *definitely* will be. I will be looking for positions in the public schools where different doesn't equal wrong.

A friend suggested that I do "outs" but my hair shrinks in this South Carolina humidity so I would end up with an afro for sure! It's a shame that there are some Black Christians who are so unaccepting of God's own creation. Wearing my natural hair is more than a decision to be militant or fashionable, it is a thing of spirituality for me. In a moment of weakness (oh, about 1 month ago :cry: ) I was going to texturize my hair. I heard the Spirit of God saying softly to my heart "Don't touch your hair". That wasn't me speaking to myself because I was about to head to the store to buy some relaxer. I have decided that when the Bible speaks about God saying the his creation was good, it meant EVERYTHING that he had created which would include my hair.

While the school is caught in the Matrix, I won't be pushy about it because I need to have some kind of income coming in. I will try some new hairstyles and see what God is going to do. :pop

Yasintha
10-29-2003, 04:41 PM
I can't believe this! :-?
And your going to theach at a black shool???
And they believe in God?
What kind of styles do your students have?
>:(

Bogle
10-29-2003, 04:49 PM
You've received some great suggestion from the ladies here at nappturality. I really don't have anything new to add but know that I'm here along with everyone else to be a support pillar if you need one.

sjdancer
10-29-2003, 04:57 PM
Originally posted by LBellatrix@Oct 29 2003, 04:37 AM


Read over your contract VERY CAREFULLY. If those rules are in the contract that you signed, unfortunately you're out of luck. However, if they're NOT, then you have a legal leg to stand on. Consult with a lawyer to see what your rights are.


ITA too.
That is just wrong :fight that they waited until after ssigning to tell you.
Good luck and keep us posted as to what you do.

Ravensholst
10-29-2003, 05:31 PM
Looks like you got a whole bunch of good advice already. When will we ever learn? It's incidents like this that show me just how bad off we really are..and (some of us) dont even know it. It's like I want to comendere the tv stations and broadcast me shouting, like on school daze..WAKE UP! :-x

nitanai
10-29-2003, 06:19 PM
I agree with all the advice given here. It sounds to me as well that if your contract doesn't stipulate how you must where your hair, then you might have a case.

It's ashame that sometimes the worst critics, when it comes to our hair, can be our own people.

curlygirl
10-29-2003, 06:31 PM
You have received some great advice and you will do the right thing for yourself. I wanted to encourage you to stay open to how God is using you or would like to use you. If you are not tied to a permanent position there, perhaps God is calling you to be a teacher in a different way. What ever his/her call is to you, may you be blessed along this path sister!

ooooo
10-29-2003, 07:09 PM
:blab so sorry to hear that especially about a black christian establishment...

unfortunately the idea that straightened hair is proper and good is especially prevalent in the black church. look at most gospel artists. i don't know of any that revel in their napptural hair like say neo soul artists often do... men shave short and women weave and or straighten. period.

what a silly rule. pray for them.

blessings

cateyesmd
10-29-2003, 08:19 PM
Originally posted by afronappy@Oct 29 2003, 04:09 PM
look at most gospel artists. i don't know of any that revel in their napptural hair like say neo soul artists often do...
Don't forget about the group Mary Mary. I believe both are natural but one mostly wears braid extensions. The other sister does sport afro puffs and such from time to time.

<img src=\'http://www.mary-mary.com/images/marymary20.jpg\' border=\'0\' alt=\'user posted image\' />


I certainly feel for you and your situation and I pray that all works out well.

Lagina
10-29-2003, 08:34 PM
Originally posted by LBellatrix@Oct 29 2003, 08:37 AM
I completely agree with natural@20, Sekhmet, and Cia.

Read over your contract VERY CAREFULLY. If those rules are in the contract that you signed, unfortunately you&#39;re out of luck. However, if they&#39;re NOT, then you have a legal leg to stand on. Consult with a lawyer to see what your rights are.

Folks...just because something is black-owned doesn&#39;t mean they&#39;re not still in the Matrix re hair. If anything they&#39;re DEEP into it because (as many of us know) it&#39;s often our OWN people who have the most negative things to say about nappturals and napptural hair.

Oh! Gosh! Look at my sig for another question to ask them! :)

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Let me check my calendar to see what year this is. Not 1885 says 2003 maybe in 3003 we will be able to wear our hair the way God gave it to us, Just maybe ....

Tasha806
10-29-2003, 08:48 PM
I&#39;m so sorry that this is happening to you. It is so unfortunate that we treat each other this way just because some choose to be different and wear their God given hair texture. For some reason black women especially seem to think that our hair isn&#39;t done unless it&#39;s fried, dyed and laid to the side. >:(
But for styling options have you considered a roller set? It&#39;s safer than pressing and you could use rollers, rods or straws etc. I hope this helps and in the meantime try and keep your head up because this situation will work itself out one way or the other.

Best Wishes,
Tasha

CurlsWannaHaveFun
10-29-2003, 09:19 PM
>:( I am so sorry this happened to you, MM. Dee&#39;s questions are on point---they should be teaching those kids that God loves you as he made you, and you could be instrumental in doing that.

God bless you and you&#39;ll be in my prayers.

I suppose bantu knots would be out too, eh? Technically hair isn&#39;t out tho. :duck

afrogeek
10-29-2003, 09:30 PM
Originally posted by Cia@Oct 29 2003, 07:45 AM
please, please do as others mentioned and read over your contract with a fine toothed comb (not ment for nappy hair). if it isnt in writing then it sounds like bs to me. :oops:
What she said. If your contract doesn&#39;t specifically say you can&#39;t wear your napps, you have both the grounds and the means to fight this. :fight :duel: :fight :duel: :fight :duel:

Blackanese
10-29-2003, 09:33 PM
The idea that it could be legal to make someone straighten their hair for a job is just flooring me.

MariposaMorena08
10-30-2003, 02:01 PM
It&#39;s pretty unbelievable, I know! There was no stipulation in the contract about natural hair. When I talk to them next, I will probably go with my hair out...before the official date of employment. This way they can actually see how I wear it. I could do a roller set or something but with the humidity in the South, my hair will draw right on up!

Please, don&#39;t take this the wrong way but I&#39;m worried. I&#39;m afraid that when they see my hair down that they may accept it because of its texture. I am a 4a/b, but I have perceptible coils/curls in my hair. I don&#39;t want to have other faculty, staff, and students marginalized because they have a different texture or longer hair (that may tend to grow from East to West instead of South). That would defeat my purpose and make me feel worse.

I can&#39;t decide which is worse, all of us naturals being against or the picking and choosing which kind of natural hair is okay to wear out.

nappynae
10-30-2003, 02:09 PM
i can understand you being worried when it comes to employment. but as far as them accepting your hair & who you are naturally, don&#39;t be worried. your work speaks for itself, not your hair speaking for your work. & if they have issues with the natural you, would you really want to work for people that are unaccepting to those that expose their natural beauty?
& do you have any other employment options? i couldn&#39;t work for people like that, i&#39;d keep looking if possible.

nappynae
good luck in however you decide to pursue this

MariposaMorena08
10-30-2003, 02:14 PM
The only problem is that I had already signed the contract when I got that bit of news about my hair. I can&#39;t back out of it at this point. It will be over in June though. I ask God to help me to make a difference while I&#39;m there. To open their minds to the world outside of the "matrix"! (I hope the usage of that word hasn&#39;t been copyrighted!) :lol

nappynae
10-30-2003, 02:20 PM
like someone else said i think, maybe God has put you in this position for a reason. He brought you to it, He&#39;ll see ya through it! at times like this, after i&#39;ve prayed, i come to the same conclusion - who am i to question God&#39;s reasons? i guess just be glad He&#39;s using you, although you may not know why or how until later - if at all. your strength may affect and/or change someone else&#39;s heart, & you may never know - but God will.

MariposaMorena08
10-31-2003, 12:06 PM
Originally posted by nappynae@Oct 30 2003, 03:20 PM
like someone else said i think, maybe God has put you in this position for a reason. He brought you to it, He&#39;ll see ya through it! at times like this, after i&#39;ve prayed, i come to the same conclusion - who am i to question God&#39;s reasons? i guess just be glad He&#39;s using you, although you may not know why or how until later - if at all. your strength may affect and/or change someone else&#39;s heart, & you may never know - but God will.
Thanks!!! :rainfro I&#39;ll see what God has planned...this should be interesting!! *laugh*

rootsgyrl
10-31-2003, 12:53 PM
wear a wig. Yes, it&#39;s unfair. But, the economy is shot to hell. Take that job and wear a wig. Your hair would probably thank you later.

Mahoganyqt
10-31-2003, 01:05 PM
Originally posted by rootsgyrl@Oct 31 2003, 08:53 AM
wear a wig. Yes, it&#39;s unfair. But, the economy is shot to hell. Take that job and wear a wig. Your hair would probably thank you later.
I agree with rootsgyrl, wear a wig if you have to. As soon as you leave that school for the day, pull that thing off and be your natural self! It&#39;s only short term..this too will pass, faster than you think.

cateyesmd
10-31-2003, 01:29 PM
Originally posted by rootsgyrl@Oct 31 2003, 09:53 AM
wear a wig. Yes, it&#39;s unfair. But, the economy is shot to hell. Take that job and wear a wig. Your hair would probably thank you later.
This is a great idea. Simple and no need to have to worry about how to style your hair. It&#39;s still very unfortunate that you are being pushed to this point though. :-?

KaraBeanQn
10-31-2003, 01:53 PM
:-P Look at the contract

Call a lawyer
Ask the question deecoily asked.

I think that this was a deliberate move to disrespect you because they saw you natural. The ONLY thing they can demand is that you wear your hair pulled back OR covered.

O No

That is obnoxious, obscene & certainly obstructing your individuality.

Don&#39;t mess around and have all these nappturalites petition those fools :fight (box :mad

Geminibrown78
11-22-2003, 04:00 PM
That&#39;s foul.

If they had an issue with it, they should have told you from the beginning.

And being that this is a Christian school, they should be a lot more accepting of you&#39;re God-given hair.

That&#39;s heart-breaking. I hope things work out.

jarandle
11-22-2003, 05:40 PM
Originally posted by natural@_20@Oct 29 2003, 04:29 AM
U should get a lawyer. That&#39;s misleading to have you sign the contract first. And U say it&#39;s BLACK owned. Hmmm....oh well, I&#39;m always ready for a challenge involoving the napps(I also know a very good nappy lawyer if U need one.)
I agree. Someone should in authority should know about this!
:mad

PoetryIsMyPassion
11-22-2003, 06:14 PM
Have there been any updates? Did they say anything when you wore your hair out? I think it is horrible that they saw you during the interview process and didn&#39;t divulge the rules about hair but then there are none. If the hair issue isn&#39;t clearly stated in the contract they can not force you to wear your hair the way they want. However I see you said that they can break the contract at any time for the RULES, but did it say that the rules are subject to change? If that is how they wish it to be have them formally put it in writing to address the whole staff and not just you. I would take that contract to an attorney though and start looking for employment elsewhere. There is no way I&#39;d be put in that type of position that forces me to change. We gave up living the LYE for a reason. My prayers are with you as you go through this trial. It will work out.

Topaz
11-22-2003, 06:46 PM
This is really awful. I&#39;m sorry this has happened to you. I can&#39;t imagine what I would do in your position. I think you&#39;ve gotten some good input here. Also, have you tried speaking with them again and explaining that what they are requesting has put you in a difficult position? Do they understand the different styles that you can do and are willing to do with your natural hair that won&#39;t cause damage or for you to change it? It seems like what will be acceptable to them will cause damage to your hair. If that&#39;s the case and if you can&#39;t work this out in another way I&#39;d probably look into getting a wig or something. Another thing, is this rule coming from one person?


If they can change or alter the contract at anytime what&#39;s the use in having one? If they do change the "rules" it would seem that they would have to present you with a "brand new" contract giving you the opportunity to either accept or decline their new rules.

I wish you all the best with this and I&#39;m sure God already has the solution. :thumbsup

Johneigirl
11-22-2003, 07:07 PM
Where do I start?!! Can you say DISCRIMINATION?! They probably think your natural hair doesn&#39;t appear professional enough or something. If this is true, then they obviously haven&#39;t dealt with their own issues and are now in a place where they can try to pin their hang ups on others. You should definitely ask them their reasoning behind these restrictions. You might find that you have to reeducate the educators!!

cooliewoolie
12-22-2003, 05:42 AM
:nohuh It never ceases to amaze me how disappointingly trifling many "Christians" can be. What a bad witness.

And it sounds to me...even though I havent read your reply on the matter as to whether only your hair is required to be pinned in a bun or something because it is natural...but it sounds to me like because you also cannot wear twists, braids, cornrows, etc., these people have a really bad case of self-hatred going on. I could understand if some Christians were to believe that a woman should wear her hair up in a more conservative, less "flashy" style, but to ban twists and braids, which aren&#39;t at all flashy or even distracting, is a direct prejudice against Black people, even if it is done by one of us. It is illegal.

I think that you should first attempt to peacefully reason with them, but if that does not resolve anything, you should get a lawyer and sue. I am still so blown away!!! SHAME on them! :mad

I&#39;ll pray for you. Good luck and God bless.

Ace9
12-22-2003, 02:14 PM
If your in a bind that I find atrocious (box :fight ...wig it!! :violin :violin :rainfro
:tiptoe

uzuri
12-22-2003, 02:36 PM
Originally posted by natural@_20@Oct 29 2003, 04:29 AM
U should get a lawyer. That&#39;s misleading to have you sign the contract first. And U say it&#39;s BLACK owned. Hmmm....oh well, I&#39;m always ready for a challenge involoving the napps(I also know a very good nappy lawyer if U need one.)
But first talk to them again....make sure you understand what they are saying....and after that, if you understood them correctly, get that lawyer. :thumbsup