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sarobins
07-17-2005, 04:52 AM
I don't know if I am being extra sensitive, but I have noticed a lot of women at my job giving me the "she ain't all that" look. When I wear my hair out, I have a lot. I've got some extremely thick hair and I like wearing it in a puff pony alot. I've had some women make comments like I know that ain't your hair. Where did you get that piece from? I've had women walk by me and pull on my hair just to see if it comes out. I've had women just all out stare at me and question me as to what is wrong with my hair or if its fake. I've been natural all but 9 months of my 22 years, so I am used to the weird looks. I guess I am just venting right now because it is getting to the point at work where I have a few women that won't talk to me because of my choice of hairstyle. This is something new to me. I've never had to deal with anything like this in my life. Sometimes I just feel like going off on some of these women. I have enough stress at work than to be concerned with the 12 eyes burning a hole in my neck looking at me all the time. I guess I'm ranting right now but this gets on my very last nerve. I don't know how much longer I can deal with this.

Has anyone ever had a bunch of "haters" bothering you at work? And how did you deal?

Lukki_Nappy
07-19-2005, 03:17 PM
wow they sound like haters for real!! I cant say I have ever had that experience, and I almost find it bizzare that you have. I mean who pulls on someones hair to see if its real? How old are we people?!?!?!?!

anyways the most i have ever had is a white girl touch my puff and says :shocker: "wow its so soft" lol..so i was like "did you epect it to feel hard?"

shake dem haters off! :afro:

MotherLand
07-19-2005, 10:18 PM
I think you should go ahead and confront some of thoaw haters who annoy you most and ask "Often I see you give me smug, looks or even daring to come into my personal space and pullin it , or even giving me smug looks, and all I want to know, what the problem is, because I don't want to work in an office where I am uncomfterble." or somehting like that, because I refuse to be disrespected by you!!
Don't change, stay strong, and brush off them haters, oh yeah, and do not waver in showing off your beautiful puff. :D :afro:

mahoganee
07-20-2005, 01:24 AM
Originally posted by MotherLand@Jul 19 2005, 05:18 PM
I think you should go ahead and confront some of thoaw haters who annoy you most and ask "Often I see you give me smug, looks or even daring to come into my personal space and pullin it , or even giving me smug looks, and all I want to know, what the problem is, because I don't want to work in an office where I am uncomfterble." or somehting like that, because I refuse to be disrespected by you!!
Don't change, stay strong, and brush off them haters, oh yeah, and do not waver in showing off your beautiful puff. :D :afro:

931218


I'm going through something similar at work. While in braids certain people would talk to me but now that I've been wearing puffs they steer clear of me like I have the plague or something. I'm waiting on them to make the wrong comment so that I can put both feet in their azzez. :afro:

babygirlwoman
07-20-2005, 02:02 AM
I'm sorry you're going through that.
I went through something similar (in high school mind you) and was never bold enough to confront them. I regret it now.

I say you pull their hair! ;)

MotherLand
07-20-2005, 02:09 AM
Originally posted by mahoganee+Jul 19 2005, 09:24 PM-->
<!--QuoteBegin-MotherLand@Jul 19 2005, 05:18 PM
I think you should go ahead and confront some of thoaw haters who annoy you most and ask "Often I see you give me smug, looks or even daring to come into my personal space and pullin it , or even giving me smug looks, and all I want to know, what the problem is, because I don&#39;t want to work in an office where I am uncomfterble." or somehting like that, because I refuse to be disrespected by you!!
Don&#39;t change, stay strong, and brush off them haters, oh yeah, and do not waver in showing off your beautiful puff. :D * :afro:

931218


I&#39;m going through something similar at work. While in braids certain people would talk to me but now that I&#39;ve been wearing puffs they steer clear of me like I have the plague or something. I&#39;m waiting on them to make the wrong comment so that I can put both feet in their azzez. :afro:

931436
[/b]

Heehee. Shame on you. :lol: Thanks for quoting me! :)

beaka
07-20-2005, 02:39 AM
:icon_headshake:
In this day and age can you even touch people in the workplace without fear of a lawsuit. :dunno:
It just seems wrong on so many levels. It goes beyond the hair. <_<
I remember back on the playground, if someone pulled your ponytail, it was time to take it to the grass. :icon_twak:

sarobins
07-26-2005, 05:04 AM
I actually did what many of you suggested by confronting most of them, but one woman in particular Hates EXTRA hard and she&#39;s a supervisor. I didn&#39;t say anything directly to her but I made sure she was within earshot when I confronted one of my fellow coworkers. I politely (but firmly) told my coworker that I felt uncomfortable when she was pulling my hair. I didn&#39;t appreciate her making remarks about my hair being fake. And I definitely didn&#39;t like it when she kept telling people that I needed to do something with "that mess on top of my head." I explained that comments in regards to my personal choice of style had no place in the workplace unless it hinders my job performance. I then went on to let her know that although I&#39;ve never considered turning her into Human Resources or Management about the comments, I could very well do so because our employee manual is strict about respecting our coworkers. At this point...she&#39;s looking at me like :o . I looked her square in her eyes and said, "We are here to conduct business and we do not have to be friends. However, we do need to respect one another. If this is going to be an issue. Please let me know now, that way we can set up some personal time together with our human resource department so we can resolve any issues that may hinder us from completing our daily tasks." I basically told everyone the same thing one-on-one and not one of them has said another thing in my presence about my hair. I&#39;m sure they are thinking it, but they ain&#39;t saying it :P

Cutie McPretty
08-08-2005, 03:24 PM
Originally posted by sarobins@Jul 26 2005, 12:04 AM
I actually did what many of you suggested by confronting most of them, but one woman in particular Hates EXTRA hard and she&#39;s a supervisor. I didn&#39;t say anything directly to her but I made sure she was within earshot when I confronted one of my fellow coworkers. I politely (but firmly) told my coworker that I felt uncomfortable when she was pulling my hair. I didn&#39;t appreciate her making remarks about my hair being fake. And I definitely didn&#39;t like it when she kept telling people that I needed to do something with "that mess on top of my head." I explained that comments in regards to my personal choice of style had no place in the workplace unless it hinders my job performance. I then went on to let her know that although I&#39;ve never considered turning her into Human Resources or Management about the comments, I could very well do so because our employee manual is strict about respecting our coworkers. At this point...she&#39;s looking at me like :o . I looked her square in her eyes and said, "We are here to conduct business and we do not have to be friends. However, we do need to respect one another. If this is going to be an issue. Please let me know now, that way we can set up some personal time together with our human resource department so we can resolve any issues that may hinder us from completing our daily tasks." I basically told everyone the same thing one-on-one and not one of them has said another thing in my presence about my hair. I&#39;m sure they are thinking it, but they ain&#39;t saying it :P

938668


Bravo on confronting your situation and dealing with it :). You were professional and correct with your approach. There was really nothing they COULD say :P . -- Tryce

sonce
08-10-2005, 01:32 AM
Originally posted by sarobins@Jul 17 2005, 12:52 AM
Has anyone ever had a bunch of "haters" bothering you at work? And how did you deal?

928134

I&#39;ve come across haters in real life everywhere and I give them the eye right back. I answer questions if they seem sincere, otherwise I continue with whatever it is I was doing as if the person doesn&#39;t exist. I think the embarrassment of having someone you talked to ignore you in front of everyone as if you&#39;re a breeze blowing by has discouraged many from asking me snarky questions. And nobody touches my hair because I&#39;m not okay with having someone&#39;s energy and essence around my head unless I know them inside out. Anyone who tries gets their hand physically removed (without excess force) and returned to their side before I either walk off or motion for them to keep trucking.

Anyway, I rock my hair with style and grace, and anyone who doesn&#39;t like it can bugger him/herself.

brokgrad
08-10-2005, 01:43 AM
Originally posted by sarobins@Jul 26 2005, 12:04 AM
I actually did what many of you suggested by confronting most of them, but one woman in particular Hates EXTRA hard and she&#39;s a supervisor. I didn&#39;t say anything directly to her but I made sure she was within earshot when I confronted one of my fellow coworkers. I politely (but firmly) told my coworker that I felt uncomfortable when she was pulling my hair. I didn&#39;t appreciate her making remarks about my hair being fake. And I definitely didn&#39;t like it when she kept telling people that I needed to do something with "that mess on top of my head." I explained that comments in regards to my personal choice of style had no place in the workplace unless it hinders my job performance. I then went on to let her know that although I&#39;ve never considered turning her into Human Resources or Management about the comments, I could very well do so because our employee manual is strict about respecting our coworkers. At this point...she&#39;s looking at me like :o . I looked her square in her eyes and said, "We are here to conduct business and we do not have to be friends. However, we do need to respect one another. If this is going to be an issue. Please let me know now, that way we can set up some personal time together with our human resource department so we can resolve any issues that may hinder us from completing our daily tasks." I basically told everyone the same thing one-on-one and not one of them has said another thing in my presence about my hair. I&#39;m sure they are thinking it, but they ain&#39;t saying it :P

938668

Wow, I wish I could be as professional as you in confronting a coworker. My mouth would get me into a lot of trouble. But seriously, if someone pulls your hair again, yank down hard on their hair. They&#39;ll get the message.

Dbcthesis
08-10-2005, 05:27 AM
Sarobins,

Bravo to you! I experienced the same things in college and HS when my hair was really long and relaxed. I&#39;ve had STRANGERS yank my hair or state that I was wearing a weave. Since I&#39;ve been natural that hasn&#39;t been a problem but girl, I wish a fool would try to yank my hair. They would have more than HR to worry about. :D Seriously though, I&#39;m so proud that you handled yourself w/aplomb and professionalism. Kudos.

sonce
08-10-2005, 12:25 PM
Originally posted by brokgrad@Aug 9 2005, 09:43 PM
Wow, I wish I could be as professional as you in confronting a coworker. My mouth would get me into a lot of trouble. But seriously, if someone pulls your hair again, yank down hard on their hair. They&#39;ll get the message.

955682

:lol: It&#39;d be just what they deserve, but yanking back might be construed as assault if the person is particularly litigious...and I don&#39;t think hair is worth standing on the unemployment line :unsure:

Jazitones
08-10-2005, 12:31 PM
Originally posted by sarobins@Jul 26 2005, 01:04 AM
I actually did what many of you suggested by confronting most of them, but one woman in particular Hates EXTRA hard and she&#39;s a supervisor. I didn&#39;t say anything directly to her but I made sure she was within earshot when I confronted one of my fellow coworkers. I politely (but firmly) told my coworker that I felt uncomfortable when she was pulling my hair. I didn&#39;t appreciate her making remarks about my hair being fake. And I definitely didn&#39;t like it when she kept telling people that I needed to do something with "that mess on top of my head." I explained that comments in regards to my personal choice of style had no place in the workplace unless it hinders my job performance. I then went on to let her know that although I&#39;ve never considered turning her into Human Resources or Management about the comments, I could very well do so because our employee manual is strict about respecting our coworkers. At this point...she&#39;s looking at me like :o . I looked her square in her eyes and said, "We are here to conduct business and we do not have to be friends. However, we do need to respect one another. If this is going to be an issue. Please let me know now, that way we can set up some personal time together with our human resource department so we can resolve any issues that may hinder us from completing our daily tasks." I basically told everyone the same thing one-on-one and not one of them has said another thing in my presence about my hair. I&#39;m sure they are thinking it, but they ain&#39;t saying it :P

938668



Wow! What a excellent way of conducting yourself. I am a mediator and I really do stress good and professional communciation between co-workers. :smil3f72836ee752e:

sonce
08-10-2005, 04:34 PM
Originally posted by Jazitones+Aug 10 2005, 08:31 AM-->
<!--QuoteBegin-sarobins@Jul 26 2005, 01:04 AM
I actually did what many of you suggested by confronting most of them, but one woman in particular Hates EXTRA hard and she&#39;s a supervisor. I didn&#39;t say anything directly to her but I made sure she was within earshot when I confronted one of my fellow coworkers. I politely (but firmly) told my coworker that I felt uncomfortable when she was pulling my hair. I didn&#39;t appreciate her making remarks about my hair being fake. And I definitely didn&#39;t like it when she kept telling people that I needed to do something with "that mess on top of my head." I explained that comments in regards to my personal choice of style had no place in the workplace unless it hinders my job performance. I then went on to let her know that although I&#39;ve never considered turning her into Human Resources or Management about the comments, I could very well do so because our employee manual is strict about respecting our coworkers. At this point...she&#39;s looking at me like :o . I looked her square in her eyes and said, "We are here to conduct business and we do not have to be friends. However, we do need to respect one another. If this is going to be an issue. Please let me know now, that way we can set up some personal time together with our human resource department so we can resolve any issues that may hinder us from completing our daily tasks." I basically told everyone the same thing one-on-one and not one of them has said another thing in my presence about my hair. I&#39;m sure they are thinking it, but they ain&#39;t saying it :P

938668



Wow! What a excellent way of conducting yourself. I am a mediator and I really do stress good and professional communciation between co-workers. :smil3f72836ee752e:

956016
[/b]
ITA--I just read her post and her professionalism is just like wo!

Dolliesdaughter
08-10-2005, 04:44 PM
It has never come up in my professional life but it did long time ago in my personal life and I just pulled her hair really REALLY hard and that was it.

brownstarlet
08-10-2005, 05:23 PM
:smil3f72836ee752e: You Go GIRL!!! good job..

I love that !! I would do the same. They can start pulling on each others hair if they want.. :pointlaugh: people just have issues. a tell ya.

Tenkei
08-19-2005, 12:32 PM
Good for you! Good job standing up for yourself! ^_^

renaissance
09-02-2005, 05:33 AM
@sarobins. I think you handled it with soooo much class. I have had similar expiences(although no one dared pulled my hair.) I worked in retail at the supervisory level (not quite full management another name for flunky ;) ) for about all winter i use to wear my hair boxed out. (box braids) when i decided to were it burnt out, it was below my shoulders. my general manager said to me : you look great THAT way. that WORM style i just don&#39;t get.! Let me tell you i was floored. :shocker: I ended up swallowing his coment. so i really admire your stand.

LuvJones
09-12-2005, 07:34 PM
Oh my God I was just reading this thread and a white country @$$ dude I work with was trying to make a joke on his way to the smoking area. One of the young guys asked me if I smoked...I told him no :icon_headshake: Then funny man says "oh she don&#39;t smoke don&#39;t mess with her she got that crackhead fro thing going" I gave him the sista girl fug you look and then calmly told him...don&#39;t hate me cause I have hair...he&#39;s going bald. He tried to save face and say that he has hair...I quickly told him that it was leaving quick and he should just let it go already! :lol: :lol: Then I touched my crown and told him don&#39;t hate the fro don&#39;t hate!

I&#39;m like WTF...your backwoods nowhere you don&#39;t know ish about my hair :D

LJ

freelocks
09-16-2005, 08:20 AM
I never let people touch my hair. They have hair on their own head they can touch when they please.

LelaDada
09-21-2005, 03:19 PM
OMG, I know what you mean. I work with majority of white women and they are at least prfessional. Stank, and fake, but professional. I WISH one of them heiffers would touch my hair.. Oh they would pull back a nub!! Most white people think my locs are fake anyway. :dunno: But I know how black women can be, they think because they are black like you, they can say and do certain things, . i.e. crack jokes and actually touch you... I have a black woman at my job who used to have dreads so she thinks she can just be all up in my hair with a been there done that in the 70&#39;s attitude. Because she&#39;s older I dont say much, I let her know it wasnt cool. I&#39;ve been locking for almost a year now, so people are used to me. But when I BC&#39;d... whoo! It was a free for all. Ooo you think you got good hair huh? Perm that stuff... on and on. I&#39;m so proud of you for not winding up on COPS with all that drama in your office. lol

NaturalNavyChick
10-01-2005, 12:59 AM
</span></span></span></span>

Natural since 01/2005
Comb twist/starting locs since 04/2005

sarobins
10-06-2005, 03:48 PM
Wow...it&#39;s good to be back on Nappturality...I really missed the support since I was away on business. Thanks for the compliments on how I handled the situation. Since then, the sup that was SOOO Unprofessional has pulled me aside and apologized if she ever offended me with any of her remarks. She explained that she had been natural about 15 yrs ago and she had people tell her that if she didn&#39;t change her style she could loose her job. She admitted that she was a little jealous and admired me for sticking to my guns about my choice of hairstyle. We are cool now..

naturalnavychick...since they just say that you can&#39;t have anything protruding from your head..can you just tie your hair down so that they lay flat?

Tenkei
10-06-2005, 07:14 PM
Originally posted by NaturalNavyChick@Sep 30 2005, 06:59 PM
</span></span></span></span>

Natural since 01/2005
Comb twist/starting locs since 04/2005

1019286


That&#39;s crazy.

I know two people in the navy who wear braids and twists. They haven&#39;t been told to straighten their hair. Their hats still fit!

MotherLand
10-13-2005, 08:01 PM
Some people need a smack upside their head. :angry: Reading all this BS that other people have tried to tell you guys about your hair makes me wish I was an octopus so that I could stick all 8 feet up their ignant azzes at the same time. <_< :angry: :P

sarobins
10-14-2005, 09:05 PM
:pointlaugh: :pointlaugh:

missladee622
10-14-2005, 09:16 PM
Personal Space Invaders...that&#39;s what I&#39;m gonna call your co-workers.

I wish MY co-workers would even consider touching me, much less my hair. Goonie goo goo. That would probably be the day I would lose my job. I&#39;m not a touchy-feely type of person. ( Unless you&#39;re a man! ) :lol:


WoW! You showed great composure and professionalism!
Kudos to you.



missladee622
last chemical fire cream: Dec. 2004

rosalindb
10-14-2005, 09:24 PM
You handled this situation very professionally. Interesting that the supervisor admitted to being slightly jealous but not completely surprising - just wonder how many other colleagues are secretly envious but too embarassed to admit it.

Inspiration41Man
11-10-2005, 12:06 PM
I just posted my experience with haters and fans in my work place. It is in this forum under Do You Remember Your First Time. I could not believe that the haters were black women that know how much we have struggled with our hair and when someone has the courage and strength to be free from chemicals, why not support them? :dunno: I guess this is another reason this site was started. We will just have to support each other.