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View Full Version : Do you know someone with an eating disorder?



Suki
02-14-2003, 08:40 PM
There's this guy at my job- you can tell he's got an ED. He eats the most awful things! Hot Pockets and frozen burritos ( two or three at a time ). Now he's in the lunchroom with two pizza boxes in front of him with "DON'T TOUCH!" written on them. He rarely talks to anyone, is always reading a book, with headphones stuffed in his ears to boot. He never smiles and he folds the pizza slices in half so he can shove them in better and he always looks very unhappy.

Another lady wieghs about 400 lbs orders BBQ from this place that delivers. HUGE amounts of food just for LUNCH, just for herself. Then she complains about how her doctor lectures her about how big she is and how her BC ( breast cancer ) is more likely to come back if she doesn't lose wieght.

Another lady sits there and complains that she doesn't want to pay for health insurance for smokers because they choose to kill themselves and it's not fair to everyone else ( of couse she says this as I'm coming back from a smoke break ). Meanwhile she shoves cheese enchaladas in her mouth and pops high cholesterol medication when she's done saying her condition is hereditary and there's nothing she can do about it. Her thighs are so big they don't fit on the chair and they spill over the sides.

It's kinda sad and I don't even think many of these people realize if they have a problem.

GalaxyGirl2010
02-14-2003, 09:04 PM
I just found out an aquaintance from owrk has one. One night I had a girls night out in my apartment and invited her. There were 4 of us in all and we ordered 2 medium pizzas. We were drinking daquiri's and she didnt want to eat but I basically hounded her to at least eat one piece since we were drinking (if id have known she was bulimic i wouldnt have done that!!) then she eats and gets up after a while to take our plates in the kitchen. She then went to the bathroom and said that she had to leave. I didnt think any thing of it until I went back into the kitchen to get another slice of pizza and they were gone! Then one of my friends was like i bet she went into the bathroom and threw that pizza up. We then compared notes and realized that between us, we had only eaten 5 slices of pizza leaving 3 slices in the first pizza and the entire second one that disappeared. So basically this girl ate 11 slices of pizza in like 15 minutes!!

I then went to the bathroom to pee and :shock: :shock: :evil: :twisted: my bathroom looked like a csi crime scene. Pizza sauce all over the shower curtain, pizza chunks in the toilet bowl, she even reached in the shower and used my da*mn exfoliating gloves as her puke wipe rags! I was sooo mad :twisted: Not only had she left my bathroom looking a mess (ok if anyone does that it's ME or my cats!) but she also didnt pay for the pizza she ate. Do you think she ever got an invitation back to my apartment???

Then when I told her the next day at work I didnt appreciate what she did she played stupid like she didnt know what I was talking about. I almost slapped dumber than what she already is!

I guess I should be more understanding of people with anorexia/bulimia but most of these girls are just dumb. Her teeth are rotting out of her head because the acids from her stomach is melting them off and she asks me (of all people!!! :x ) what can she do.. The only thing i can say is stop stick your da*mn fingers down your throat. :twisted:

khamedra19
02-14-2003, 09:08 PM
The people you described don't fit the description of those with clinical eating disorders. Rather they sound like people who either (1) Are not conscious about proper diet and (2) Lack control over their eating. Lack of control in regards to eating more than likely stems from emotional problems. They are eating to smother negative emotions----perhaps disastifaction, depression, feelings of worthliness. I think your co-workers have discovered that here's great comfort to be found in food.

GalaxyGirl2010
02-14-2003, 09:15 PM
i definitely have to say that my coworker has an eating disorder because she cant control herself around food. also she sees herself as being heavier than she actually is (she's always complaining about how fat her thighs and hips are and this girl is a size 4..in fact, that size is becoming big on her). also she doesnt realize that she has a problem i think she thinks it normal cuz she was like oh you've never thrown up after youve eaten? and i was like only if something was rancid and then never on purpose and she was actually shocked.

Suki
02-14-2003, 09:24 PM
khamedra19:
The people you described don't fit the description of those with clinical eating disorders. Rather they sound like people who either (1) Are not conscious about proper diet and (2) Lack control over their eating. Lack of control in regards to eating more than likely stems from emotional problems. They are eating to smother negative emotions----perhaps disastifaction, depression, feelings of worthliness. I think your co-workers have discovered that here's great comfort to be found in food.


Um.....yes they do. COE or "compulsive overeating" is a clinical eating disorder. Anorexics, bulimics, bulimerexics, and COE's are all in the same catagory- using food to stifle emotional problems. It's all the same.

Suki
02-14-2003, 09:33 PM
GalaxyGirl2010,

Try not to be to hard on your co-worker. Bulimics often time "black out" while binging. Then they "wake up" only to discover they have eaten a whole tub of ice cream or someone's birthday cake ( usually not thiers ) in about ten minutes.
Often bulimics hear a "buzzing" sound while binging ( some therapists liken it to the buzzing sound people hear while on drunk or on speed ). They block out sounds and forget where they areand their eyes glaze over. She should not have done that to your bathroom though. That's foul. On the bright side at least her method of choice wasn't laxatives!

Oya
02-14-2003, 09:41 PM
i now a lot of people who are obsessive about their weight and looks.

and my friend in high school was anorexic. i remember it starting after she got her first boyfriend. He would make a lot of comments and criticisms about her weight and his ex-girlfriend was a flagpole. My friend was an athlete about a 7/8 with a defined muscular body with size 34 D breasts. She would tell me how she would only eat a couple of crackers a day and a can of soda. What made it worse was that she would walk around and ask people if she was skinnier than me yet (i'm a 5/6). She went from an athletic frame to a bony emaciated hunched over body(maybe a 3/4) and ended up going from a 34 D to a 32B. And she thought it wasnt serious and joked about it. I stayed with her and supported her and encouraged her to love herself and take care of herself. Eventually she ended that toxic relationship with her boyfriend and regained her healthy eating habits. She's healthy now, has gotten her weight back up, added a few extra pounds eating all that southern food in college down south regained her breasts which she's happy about and some more (now she's a 34DD). I'm happy for her.

i hate seeing people obsessed about their bodies or food. A lot of my friends sit around and compare noses, lips, butts, breasts, hips, who's is bigger, fuller, wider, smaller...blah blah blah. And i just sit there and look at them like "Do you even hear how you're talking about yourself?"

spacetygrss
02-14-2003, 09:43 PM
I use to have an eating disorder. Went through alot of therapy and stuff over it. No ever noticed that I had a problem. I'm so glad that people are finally starting to realize that everyday people have these problems, not just people on TV.

GalaxyGirl2010
02-14-2003, 09:43 PM
GalaxyGirl2010,

Try not to be to hard on your co-worker. Bulimics often time "black out" while binging. Then they "wake up" only to discover they have eaten a whole tub of ice cream or someone's birthday cake ( usually not thiers ) in about ten minutes.
Often bulimics hear a "buzzing" sound while binging ( some therapists liken it to the buzzing sound people hear while on drunk or on speed ). They block out sounds and forget where they areand their eyes glaze over. She should not have done that to your bathroom though. That's foul. On the bright side at least her method of choice wasn't laxatives! LMAO this is true..

I try not to be hard on her but sometimes I cant help myself. i guess maybe cuz i dont understand the eating disorder thing. i thought i did until i actually met someone with it.and the thing about it is that of all people, she comes to me ms sassypants that i am- for advice. i think she really wants to get help because if she didnt she wouldnt ask me for advice cuz that's basically all i tell her to do ..get professional help. I forgot to mention that she steals sandwiches from the little store we have in our office basement. why would she risk getting in trouble with the law for something she's just going to throw up?

Suki
02-14-2003, 09:45 PM
GalaxyGirl2010,

Does your co-worker have "chipmunk cheeks" ( puffy cheek and jaw muscles caused by infected saliva glands) ?. Is her stomach always a little bit bloated- bigger than it should be for such a little person? Does she have teeth marks on the back of her hand? Does she always look dehydrated? If so she's probably also got an irregular heartbeat, stomach ulcers, and a bloody throat to boot and is probably well on her way to having a massive heart attack. Bulimics can die quite suddenly with no warning at all.

Suki
02-14-2003, 10:04 PM
GalaxtGirl2010:
I forgot to mention that she steals sandwiches from the little store we have in our office basement. why would she risk getting in trouble with the law for something she's just going to throw up?


Bulimics often steal their weapons of choice ( I chose the word "weapon" because they are ASSAULTING thier own bodies ). In thier mind if they don't pay for it then it's like the problem doesn't exist. It is just another way of not aknowledging that they have a problem. Some very wealthy girls have been caught stealing laxitives even though they had no problem paying for everything else they picked up in the store. They usually take the whole box at once. Then later on complain that they have stomach cramps and diahrrea and they don't know why( sp?).

satriela
02-15-2003, 05:07 AM
um yes, i know someone with an eating disorder: me.
i have a coe, compulsive over eating disorder (otherwise known as can't keep my damn mouth shut around food)

and yes, i am obese.
and yes, i am trying to deal with it.

the thing is, most ppl have </span>[size=12] how difficult it is to deal with/overcome this kind of thing and instead of offering support/encouragement/love, they offer judgment.

Also, coe is not anywhere near as vogue as anorexia or bulimia. I mean, when was the last time u saw a lifetime movie special on the chick who ate everything in sight? (and didn't use a laxative, exercise til she dropped or puked it up.) Never?

Thankfully I have gotten over other ppl's issues with my size and disorder cause Lord knows I got enuff issues of my own.

elleebeme5
02-17-2003, 12:07 AM
I think I have an eating disorder but not clinically. I am an emotional eater. Some of my family members are alcoholics; I'm a foodaholic. I don't purge after binging but I do binge in response to emotional events - good or bad. I can go through a large bag of chips and a gallon of ice cream in no time. Afterwhich, I feel horrible which makes me eat more. My fibroids make me look pregnant which is depressing; reaching this age without children is depressing. Someone commented on the fact that I have gained weight, so I went straight to the chips aisle.

I've just started a Christian based program called Weigh Down which helps you look at your overeating as it relates to your relationship with God. I don't know if I've lost weight, but I've not binged in over a week.

afronappy
02-18-2003, 07:34 PM
um yes, i know someone with an eating disorder: me.
i have a coe, compulsive over eating disorder (otherwise known as can't keep my damn mouth shut around food)

and yes, i am obese.
and yes, i am trying to deal with it.

the thing is, most ppl have </span>[size=12] how difficult it is to deal with/overcome this kind of thing and instead of offering support/encouragement/love, they offer judgment.

Also, coe is not anywhere near as vogue as anorexia or bulimia. I mean, when was the last time u saw a lifetime movie special on the chick who ate everything in sight? (and didn't use a laxative, exercise til she dropped or puked it up.) Never?

Thankfully I have gotten over other ppl's issues with my size and disorder cause Lord knows I got enuff issues of my own.

bless u for being honest and opening up... im sure others can relate! it does seem like a judgemental way to approach such a sensitive topic...

just wonderin... do any of u see a racial pattern in these eating disorders? is overeating primarily black or white or asian, etc? anorexia bulimia tend to be white female disorders, no?

oh, and i eat store bought burritos too! cheap easy lunch! i didn't know they were that bad for u... i also eat, tuna sandwiches sometimes with mayo, organic peanut butter and honey sandwiches and then some fruit and carrots on the side... i think some of the foods mentioned in the original post are regular quick snacks/convenience foods that many of us in this american culture eat due to time and money issues... it's the amount that is an issue

satriela
02-18-2003, 08:07 PM
thanks afronappy :)

yes, with coe, amount is the big problem. in fact most ppl with coe just eat huge amounts of the same four or five foods over and over again. :(

Really, most ppl think it is an issue of not having control over oneself, but actually more and more evidence is pointing to a imbalance in the brain.

In my opinion, and Lord knows this ain't scientific, coe is much more prevelant in the black community for many different reasons...

the main one being ignorance about the disorder actually being a disorder and not just a question of self control.

Satriela

Suki
02-18-2003, 08:28 PM
At one point it was believed that only caucasian, pre-adolescent, middle-class females could develope anorexia, but things are quickly changing. Since more black, and other non-white people, are entering the middle-class more minority girls are getting the disorder too. It is being discoved that more and more MALES are getting it as well- especially athletic boys, football players, wrestlers, swimmers ect....grown women get it.... No one knows why it tends to only surface in upper middle-class homes though.

Bulimia is mostly practiced by females, but many males who participate in sports that have wieght requirments like boxing, wrestling, and sometimes football have been diagnosed with it.

COE knows no color boundary. It can literally affect anyone.

Suki
02-19-2003, 03:32 PM
hmmmmm....this tiny article was all I could find on African American women and binge eating....

http://www.missouri.edu/~news/releases/feb...gdisorders.html (http://www.missouri.edu/~news/releases/febmar01/eatingdisorders.html)

satriela
02-19-2003, 04:24 PM
I'm not surprised that is all you could find because we (black women) are very under-researched.

Suki
02-19-2003, 07:43 PM
Oh OK.. Here's a good one on the NOVA website

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/thin/minorities.html

Joyfulocs
02-19-2003, 09:56 PM
I think I have an eating disorder but not clinically. I am an emotional eater. Some of my family members are alcoholics; I'm a foodaholic. I don't purge after binging but I do binge in response to emotional events - good or bad. I can go through a large bag of chips and a gallon of ice cream in no time. Afterwhich, I feel horrible which makes me eat more. My fibroids make me look pregnant which is depressing; reaching this age without children is depressing. Someone commented on the fact that I have gained weight, so I went straight to the chips aisle.

I've just started a Christian based program called Weigh Down which helps you look at your overeating as it relates to your relationship with God. I don't know if I've lost weight, but I've not binged in over a week.

Hi Elleebeme.
I know another woman who has been doing Weigh Down for a while and she's lost a good deal of weight and she's kept it off, which I think is important. God bless you on your efforts. :)

afronappy
02-21-2003, 05:43 PM
interesting article suki:

an excerpt on afro americans:


Of all minority groups in the U.S., African-Americans have undergone the most study, yet results bear apparent contradictions.

On the one hand, much of the research suggests that even though African-American women are heavier than white women -- 49 percent of black females are overweight as opposed to 33 percent of white females -- they are less likely to have disordered eating than white women are. In addition, African-American women are generally more satisfied with their bodies, basing their definition of attractiveness on more than simply body size. Instead, they tend to include other factors such as how a woman dresses, carries, and grooms herself. Some have considered this broader definition of beauty and greater body satisfaction at heavier weights a potential protection against eating disorders. In fact, some studies conducted in the early 1990's indicate that African-American women exhibit less restrictive eating patterns, and that, at least among those who are college students, are less likely than white women to engage in bulimic behaviors.

The overall picture is not so clear, however. Take, for example, Patricia's story. Patricia's struggle with daily bingeing followed by vomiting and laxative abuse is not unique. Nearly 8 percent of the women we see in our clinic are African-American, and our clinical observations parallel research studies reporting that African-American women are just as likely to abuse laxatives as white women are. Data from a recent large, community-based study give more reason for concern. The results indicate that more African-American women than white women report using laxatives, diuretics, and fasting to avoid weight gain.

Much research is now focused on identifying factors that affect the onset of eating disorders among African-American women. It seems that eating disorders may relate to the degree to which African-American women have assimilated into the dominant American social milieu -- that is, how much they have adopted the values and behaviors of the prevailing culture. Not surprisingly, African-American women who are the most assimilated equate thinness with beauty and place great importance on physical attractiveness. It is these typically younger, more educated, and perfection-seeking women who are most at risk of succumbing to eating disorders.

Patricia fits this profile. Recently graduated from law school, she moved to Chicago to take a position with a large law firm. Each day she strives to do her job perfectly, eat three low-calorie, low-fat meals, avoid all sweets, exercise for at least an hour, and lose weight. Some days she is successful, but many days she cannot maintain the rigid standards she has set for herself and ends up bingeing and then purging. She feels quite alone with her eating disorder, believing that her eating troubles are not the kind of problems that her friends or family could possibly understand.

Suki
02-27-2003, 07:44 PM
For those who are interested

here's an article on white women vs black women on body size

http://condor.depaul.edu/~mwilson/multicult/body.htm

NappyGoddesse
03-01-2003, 12:30 AM
(sorry if this is long, it's a kind of testimony,...)

a lot of people are so misinformed and not understanding when it comes to eating disorders. i've always had a problem with my size. when i look into the mirror, i see fat, rolls, and everything as just huge. i wear a 7/8-9/10. i used to wear a 12/14. i was aneorexic for about 2 years, bulimic for one, and still have the tendency to not eat for days on end, or eat as little as possible to just get me through the day or enough with which to swallow a diet pill.

what's my problem? a lot of my heavier friends ask. they say i'm not fat, and think i'm crazy for thinking so. i think they're beautiful and don't see their sizes, at all! i struggle with it everyday and have to tell myself to eat somedays, or make myself look in the mirror other days. i gained 20 pounds in college and my father wouldn't let me live it down. ever since then, i've felt ugly and always wanted to look like the models and stars on television because to me, i was more attractive that way.

some people on this board just don't understand, and wouldn't unless they had lived through an eating disorder. a person who sees herself (not to be sexist, but i'm speaking in the most common terms, here) as fat, and even if they overcome aneorexia/bulimia (yes, i stopped that!), still have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that they are not fat. it is a dysfunction that changes the whole perseption - i didn't give a damn about anyone else's weight problems - i saw no one else as fat as i thought i was. i only wanted to get back to the way i was before i gained weight, and never saw myself the same. low self esteem (often hidden) contributes to eating disorders, as well as high expectations (from oneself or one's loved ones). it is a way to bring order into a chaotic life - a life which is often falling apart around them. it's a whole bunch of things (and i am speaking from experience, here) that lead up to binging and purging, vomiting, etc.

i would go to work out, like 3 times a day for hours between classes and at the end of the day. i would eat twizzlers and drink a small grapefruit drink for lunch, 3-4 spoonfuls of cereal for breakfast (on weekends - on the weekdays, i was too busy), and maybe cereal or french fries for lunch. one summer i had about three jobs and stopped finding time to work out. this is when i resorted to vomiting after meals, to compensate for not excersising. none of my friends knew, and most still don't. my boyfriend, who was like my best friend at the time and my home away from home, knows and doesn't even know the extent to which i was throwing up and starving myself. still. i saw fat; and when i returned home, my family was still telling me that it looked like i had gained some weight. this is when i discovered Xenadrine (this stuff works!). my sister, who also thought i was big, worked at GNC and would bring home bags and bags of it for me. i took it, ate just a little more food for the pills sake, and exercised every single day for 2 or more hours. i lost 20 pounds and everyone started complimenting me on how i was looking so good. i liked that, but still wanted to be smaller. i now have a full time job, take classes full time, again, and don't have time to exercise. i discovered Hydroxycut for when i'm off Xenadrine. no one really knows i still take diet pills. i just don't like what i see in the mirror - and i can't explain it. so many times i've been tempted to go to the bathroom and throw up whatever little bit of food i just consumed, but i fight that urge. i've been a strict vegetarian for about 2 years, and stopped eating meat to lose weight. it helps and i want to stay healthy, so about 2 months ago i went straight vegan.

what's my point? it's gradual, and you need lots of support and understanding, whether you eat too much, or starve yourself. it seems stupid to most people, especially your black friends, but it is perfectly normal, logical, and necessary to those of us who do it. either that, or it's become such a part of our lives that we don't even think about it anymore. i hope to be able to eat things without thinking about how much weight i'll gain from it, but honestly, that will probably never happen. just to eat 2 meals a day would be a huge accomplishment for me! but at least i recognize the problem, and with the help of my wonderful boyfriend, i am trying to improve myself.

those of you out there with eating disorders, whatever they are, stay positive, stay focused, and find that lifeline you need to hold onto. most don't understand - don't expect them to. but when you find someone who is willing to see your side and honestly help instead of criticize, hold onto them and just go one step at a time. it's easier for me to encourage others than to encourage myself, so i am sending out love to you!

carlasher
03-01-2003, 11:38 PM
I use to have an eating disorder. Went through alot of therapy and stuff over it. No ever noticed that I had a problem. I'm so glad that people are finally starting to realize that everyday people have these problems, not just people on TV.

I used to have one too. No one noticed me either. I guess it was because of the sterotype that "black folkes dont have eating disorders". That is sooo not true.