PDA

View Full Version : Reasons for relaxing...reasons for going napptural



lsubabiedee
01-02-2004, 01:06 PM
I have a question for you all: What were ur reason(s) for getting relaxers? And what made you decide to be napptural?

For me, at 13 or 14, I was tired of my family making fun of my curly hair, my mother told me that no salon would take me in my natural state, and I was sick and tired of all the teasing I got at school about my "big forehead" and wanted a nice new straight bang to hide behind....

Every since I got my first relaxer and my hair curled up with the creamy crack still on it, I never really understood the purpose of the relaxer. People would always ask "If ur hair is curly with and without a perm, why you get one?" Instead of being jolted into reality, I began to despise every curly on my head....I would tell my momma to "get it real straight." Yeah right, that would last a couple of days....Sometimes I would go months and months without a touch-up...but in late May '03, i realized that I probably wouldnt relax again for a while....but around oct or nov i realized that I WILL NOT relax again....

Sorry I got lost in my story....but I had to get it off of my chest....all that hair i ruined and lost....geez....its a shame......

So what about everyone else.....what were ur reasons?

blkrose
01-02-2004, 01:09 PM
My mother did it to me when I was very young. She couldnt take it anylonger-my thick hair. Funny thing is I remember her calling it NAPPY everyone called it NAPPY. And I had the thickest out of all my sisters. Mine would hold style and shape while theres would fall. I decided to chop for ooh so many reasons but the main one is because I LOVE ME AND NEED TO LEARN TO LOVE THE REAL ME.........NAPPY AND ALL

Hey did u chop or are you transitioning?

lsubabiedee
01-02-2004, 01:18 PM
im still transitioning....dont know when im gonna chop....i think i might do it when the new growth gets past my ears....im not in much of a hurry since the two textures dont bother me and im not getting much breakage....BUT IM SO TIRED OF THESE RANDOM STRAIGHT STRANDS!!!!!!!!

SiennaMoonshine
01-02-2004, 04:19 PM
I relaxed because of peer pressure. I went off to college and wanted something "easy".

I returned to natural hair because I wanted hair that was healthy and curly. I also wanted to be a positive role-model for my daughter and I refused to be at the mercy of hair stylists with more attitude than hair and scalp care knowlege.

rejohn
01-02-2004, 10:57 PM
Originally posted by lsubabiedee@Jan 2 2004, 08:06 AM
Every since I got my first relaxer and my hair curled up with the creamy crack still on it, I never really understood the purpose of the relaxer. People would always ask "If ur hair is curly with and without a perm, why you get one?"
That's why my mother stopped getting a relaxer 20 years ago.

I begged my mother for a jheri curl at 9 y.o. and for a relaxer at 10 y.o. because I thought of it as a rite of passage. I also got the curl so that I could comb my own hair. After all, my mother couldn't twist or plait my hair if I had a curl, right?

I've wanted to stop relaxing my hair for the past 11 years because I was tired of the upkeep and I realized my hair was in a vicious cycle - grow, break, cut.... It took me a while to catch on. :doh

My biggest obstacle to being napptural sooner was not knowing what to do with it after I cut it. Now, thanks to you guys, I know. :thumbsup

Ree-C
01-02-2004, 11:25 PM
I started relaxing at about 11. It was believed that was just what was done to manage black hair. It just became part of the routine. Lack of knowledge. :doh The reason I decided to go napptural was because I just got fed up. Yes, relaxer straightened my hair, but as soon as I got some length to it, it was thin. No fullness at all. I have a soft type texture, I guess that is why it thinned out. I knew that I didn't have thin hair when not permed. Then I was the one that changed styles all the time. I just like having different looks. I would get braids, sewn weaves, ponytails, then cut it real short and where short styles (relaxed). I just said forget it one day. I was tired of the sores, breakage, thinness and just being dependent to the perm. I wanted to just know what my hair looked like w/o perm. It was to the point, where I just didn't know anymore what it was like to have natural hair. After researching online (thanks to all of u who have websites and photo journeys) , I realized how beautiful black hair is.

carrolina
01-03-2004, 04:36 AM
<span style=\'color:blue\'>i relaxed/pressed because it was "just what we do" as my mother put it. i remember always hearing about being "prettier" when your hair is straight, so of course i wanted that. "dont you wanna be pretty, baby?...well then let me press your hair." because, of course no little black girls are pretty until they look like little white ones :sleep . my mom never came out and said anything was wrong with our hair, but we were both in the "beauty" shop almost bi-weekly, so i knew somethin&#39; was up.

i stopped straightening because i felt fake with my limp hair. my dark skin and full feautures look abnormal with straight hair. when i look at my old pictures, i just dont understand how i ever thought that mop on my head was attactive. i realized that i dont have to look like a white woman to be beautiful. naps are more fun, anyway. </span>

naturalhairlover
01-03-2004, 06:04 AM
Originally posted by carrolina@Jan 2 2004, 09:36 PM
i stopped straightening because i felt fake with my limp hair. my dark skin and full feautures look abnormal with straight hair. when i look at my old pictures, i just dont understand how i ever thought that mop on my head was attactive. i realized that i dont have to look like a white woman to be beautiful. naps are more fun, anyway. [/SIZE][/color][/font]
[/b]

Aint that the truth! As funny as white girls look with braids is just how funny I think black women look with straight hair. It just doesn&#39;t look natural. I relaxed the first time cause that&#39;s what we all did. Then the relaxer broke my hair off something fierce. So I transitioned without even realizing what I was doing. But I still was on the "straight and narrow". I pressed my new growth and wore see through hair for the years until it grew out. I didn&#39;t even realize how bad I looked. lol. In my own defense, I was young. Then, eight months ago I "texturized" after reading about this method which just "loosens" your natural curl. I was suckered again. So now I&#39;m transitioning again. But this time I know what I&#39;m doing and so it is more painful. I&#39;m going back to my roots because I miss and love my natural hair. And just a word to the wise: Never make major decisions about your hair 7 weeks after you&#39;ve just given birth to your second child. :nohuh

carlaw78
01-07-2004, 11:47 AM
I honestly can&#39;t remember why or when I first relaxed my hair...i know i was older....but anyway I decided to go natural because of this website. I am in the military and I am stationed in a country where black hair products are not available. I was really stressed out because I didn&#39;t want to be walking around with a jacked up head....but then I discovered nappturality and conducted a little research and here I am....transitioning to FREEDOM!!!

Freedom
01-07-2004, 12:37 PM
I was 14 when i got my first "perm", such a four letter word huh? Then, I got a jheri curl cause the perm broke off the back of my hair something bad! So I had to get a short little jheri curl to make my hair even all over LOLOLOL

Then when I went back to a relaxer from the curl, my hair fell out in chunks!!! LOL

I was straight for years after that and back in 2000, my hair seemed like it became resistant to the chemicals, so I got micro braids for a couple of months and then chopped. Been loving it ever since!!!!! I&#39;ve been fortunate to have family support because both sister&#39;s are natural. My father even said to me a few years ago, before I went natural "why don&#39;t you give those chemicals a break?" Can ya believe it?? The rest is history.

cooliewoolie
01-07-2004, 04:11 PM
I relaxed my hair because I truly thought that it was ugly natural. This, of course, was because I was looking at damaged hair with about a half inch of new-growth when the perm had "left." I would see old pictures of me when I was little, though, with my natural, long, 4b hair, and I was cute! But I had still been in the mind set that you needed to relax your hair because it&#39;s ugly when you dont.

Then, one glorious evening of boredom and contemplating over my messed up hair and searching for cure :violin , I stumbled upon this site. I saw all of these beautiful women proudly wearing their natural napps, and I was like, :shocked ! I finally saw the light, and decided to never use that creamy crack again. ( :offtopic Transitioning for 3 months now...can&#39;t decide whether to chop or not...the rush comes and goes quicker than I can get to the salon.)

pfenix
01-08-2004, 05:39 AM
I started using chemicals in jr. high because I though I couldn&#39;t manage my hair any other way. My grandmother was physically unable to keep pressing my hair and I felt as though the world had ended because the "grease and water" haired chicks wore natural.

What sucks is that I was this --> <-- close to being able to make a conscious choice to remain natural. I put my hair into plaits overnight, then wore the back out and the side pinned down. However, I had had all the wrong tools and wrong products and the dryness and breakage soon had me abonding my naps to start juggling a series of curls and relaxers.

Then my scalp got badly burned in &#39;93. Red patches and scabs were visible and my scalp bled when lightly scratched. Scabs were falling off, often taking a few strands of hair with them and the jherri juice and other products irriated my scalp even more.

I started getting my earliest hints of nappy consciousness because I was asking myself why I was going through the literal pain and disappointment for hair that still sucked in the end. I&#39;d developed a habit of fingering and liking to play with my new growth and had started picturing myself with a little fro rather than my damaged bob--my nappy coils were soooo seductive that I decided I&#39;d rather have a twa full rather than the overprocessed mess on my head. I had no clue how to care for my naps, but figured I could probably gret by with grease and water if I kept my hair short enough :)

I put off touch ups for 5 months and wore pinned up styles during my summer internship. I chopped in late August and soon escaped to college where I didn&#39;t have to hear anyone mouth. :)

An interesting incident I soon had was involed this slovenly black dude that never cleaned up his shavings in the co-ed bathroom. One windy have the shaving blown throughout the bathroom and the RA called a meeting. People thought it was me until I pointed out the obvious difference between my napps and dude&#39;s texturized hair :lol Dude finally admitted it was him since the only other black person was a lady with shoulder length dreads :D You&#39;ll never see a case like that on Court TV! :rainfro

nekee
01-17-2004, 03:22 AM
my hair was thick .. end of story
my mum has very soft curly hair while i don&#39;t , my sis has mixed up hair and i don&#39;t. So what else can i say , she jheri curled it back in the day then straightened it a year after.

My hair never broke off or anything like that and but i wanted a change and i went back natural. Everyon loved it , i loved it then it started to grow and i got it straightened.

Now two and half years later , im ready to cut it in 6 months. Straightened hair is soo not me . I feel plain and blah with it. Can&#39;t wait to cut it alll off, well yeh I can wait but it better hurry up and grow

JustRochelle
01-17-2004, 04:13 AM
My memories of the first time I got my hair relaxed are kind of a blur. I&#39;m pretty sure I was about twelve, and I was eager to get it done. I looked forward to having straight hair all the time (Mom started pressing it when I was pretty young) and not having to be so fearful of water.

It was just kind of taken for granted: my hair was kinky, therefore it needed straightening. It was never said in those words, but it was a fact. I even remember a time when I was little -- about seven years old -- and asked, "Do I have good hair, Mom?" It was kept pressed all the time and I couldn&#39;t even remember what it looked like when it was kinky. In any case, she told me no. I think that concept and all the baggage that went with it stuck with me for a long time. I thought that, to be beautiful or even just acceptable, I had to have straight hair.

I decided to stop relaxing this year because I got sick of all that crap. The expense, the pain, the torturing myself over the fact that my once-long hair was breaking off like crazy, the jealousy I felt towards girls whose relaxed hair stayed intact.... I&#39;d finally had enough. I realized that I don&#39;t have to alter myself to be beautiful, and I want to embrace the beauty God gave me. It also finally sank in that I was straightening my hair to make it look more like a white person&#39;s, and I don&#39;t want to try to be anyone but ME.

~Rochelle.

(This picture (http://www.selinafenech.com/artworks/oshun.html) of an African goddess was my inspiration for going natural, BTW. It was quite a revelation, seeing that image: everything about her that I found so enchanting was also a part of myself.)

uzuri
01-17-2004, 08:39 AM
Originally posted by JustRochelle@Jan 17 2004, 06:13 AM
My memories of the first time I got my hair relaxed are kind of a blur. I&#39;m pretty sure I was about twelve, and I was eager to get it done. I looked forward to having straight hair all the time (Mom started pressing it when I was pretty young) and not having to be so fearful of water.

It was just kind of taken for granted: my hair was kinky, therefore it needed straightening. It was never said in those words, but it was a fact. I even remember a time when I was little -- about seven years old -- and asked, "Do I have good hair, Mom?" It was kept pressed all the time and I couldn&#39;t even remember what it looked like when it was kinky. In any case, she told me no. I think that concept and all the baggage that went with it stuck with me for a long time. I thought that, to be beautiful or even just acceptable, I had to have straight hair.

I decided to stop relaxing this year because I got sick of all that crap. The expense, the pain, the torturing myself over the fact that my once-long hair was breaking off like crazy, the jealousy I felt towards girls whose relaxed hair stayed intact.... I&#39;d finally had enough. I realized that I don&#39;t have to alter myself to be beautiful, and I want to embrace the beauty God gave me. It also finally sank in that I was straightening my hair to make it look more like a white person&#39;s, and I don&#39;t want to try to be anyone but ME.

~Rochelle.

(This picture (http://www.selinafenech.com/artworks/oshun.html) of an African goddess was my inspiration for going natural, BTW. It was quite a revelation, seeing that image: everything about her that I found so enchanting was also a part of myself.)
:d) WOW...that Afrikan goddess picture is the bomb!!!! :d)

I can´t believe your mother answered "NO" to the question of if you had good hair... :shocked

JustRochelle
01-17-2004, 02:33 PM
Originally posted by uzuri@Jan 17 2004, 04:39 AM
:d) WOW...that Afrikan goddess picture is the bomb!!!! :d)
Isn&#39;t it? The irony is, I&#39;m pretty sure that the artist is white. :lol


I can´t believe your mother answered "NO" to the question of if you had good hair... :shocked
Well, I can&#39;t blame her too much for that. She was born in the 1940s, and her mother probably told her the same thing.

She&#39;s come quite a ways since then, though, due partly (I think) to seeing black women in recent years with great-looking natural styles and partly to how decades of relaxing her hair finally made it fall out for good. :( When I told her I was going natural, she said she was happy for me. She also said that I&#39;d look cute in a twa. :)

~Rochelle.

hotcocogurl
01-17-2004, 04:37 PM
I first got a relaxer at age 8 b/c the hairdresser told my mother that I "had to have one". She said I had too much hair and it was becoming unmanagable. I wish I never had one because my hair was never the same after that.

tdhayes
01-17-2004, 06:07 PM
My mom did it to me in 5th grade because she said that she would not be perming one head and pressing another. Around 94-95, I cut it all off and did a natural for about 7 months and then permed again because I was going to be taking swimming the next semseter and didnt want to press my hair 3 days a week.

I STOPPED relaxing and chopped because I had finally gotten tired of the chemicals and I wanted t FULLY be myself, in my own skin and with what God gave me. As I told my granddaddy last week, it&#39;s the BEST decision I&#39;ve ever made!"

indigo2
01-19-2004, 01:24 PM
I got my first perm when I was 12. My mom was a little reluctant but did it to make my hair more "manageable" (is there an echo?). Well she told me years after the fact but my hair came out in bundles. She said she was so frightened and didnt&#39; want to frighten me also. But you know what? That didn&#39;t stop either of us from getting perms! :shocked
Now I don&#39;t fault my mother at all. We all suffer from the messages we get about our hair, but now that I know better, I&#39;m doing better.
I decided to go natural because I realized my hair never was and never will be permed and healthy. Oh yeah, it gets real nice and shiny and straight but its also weak and breaks easily.
My hair is extremely soft. I like to say its like play doh because it does just about anything (in its natural state of course!) I want it to do but yet its fragile when it comes to the chemicals. The only time my hair ever seemed strong (and it was) was when it was natural. I love to stretch the curl and feel it pull (not bounce) back, like it has an attitude or somethin!


:rainfro

paulita425
01-19-2004, 05:49 PM
My mother and father relaxed my sister and I hair when we were 7 and 8. My mother could not braid hair or anything, and although my dad could, me and my sister always look tore up. So they permed out hair, it would be one on each side of our head because we had such think hair, and were extremely tenderheaded. As I said I am extremely tenderheaded and as I got older I just got fed up with the whole relaxer process, no matter what kind of relaxer it was, or how efficient the stylist was, my head started burning, I did not like getting my hair done, It was too much for me, I dreaded hair salons, I dreaded people pulling and tugging at my hair, I hated sitting under dryers for 3 hours because my hair was so thick, I was getting to the point that I hated my hair. My aunt suggested micro braids, got those, my hair came out by the root, the braids were so tight. I was SICK of it, I got some scissors and just started cutting the braids and the perm out of my hair. :cen my aunt thought I had lost my mind when she saw me the next day, but I just could not take it anymore, my hair was starting to consume me.

Papillion
01-19-2004, 06:29 PM
My sister relaxed my hair when I was 13. It was a complete surprise, I had absolutely no say in the matter ,and it was rather a bad experience.

Recently I asked my Mother why she and my sister thought to relax my hair when I had not asked/ even knew what a relaxer was (seriously). She gave some lame excuse that I had &#39;fine, tangly hair&#39;. Oh, it was nappy. She couldn&#39;t even admit to the word "nappy". The funny thing was that I&#39;d been combing my own hair for a while because she would try to tear through my hair as if it were straight and it was too painful. :nohuh She had no clue.

Napptural:
I was tired of the scheduled salon visits, the scalp burns, the smell, etc., and I was also tired of the cultural pressure to have straight hair.