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View Full Version : Chop....I wanna..still scared..help!!



2nappy4u
01-08-2004, 07:07 PM
Hello Napptural Ladies,
I need some encouragement. I've been transitining sine October 03'...My permed ends are driving me crazy...I wanna chop ,but everyone, family and friend have been giving me so much slack about my decision..I was natural before and Wound up getting a perm because of family and friends. This time I know this is what I want, and I won't beleive another lye. It's just that I don't have much support and If I chop I'd be so self conscious..not that I'm afraid to,It's just my family is the worst when it comes to this and the critiscm hurts....what would you ladies do to boost self confidence and to get acceptance of your choice with family and friends....I'd love to hear you ladies comments.....

Melanizm
01-08-2004, 10:15 PM
If YOU want to chop, then do it.

Move past caring about criticism and do what YOU need to do to be satisfied with your hair. If you don't have any support from your friends or family, it doesn't matter. The only support you need is from yourself. Give yourself the support that they won't. If they say negative things, tell yourself positive things. If they say they hate it, reinforce to them that YOU love it.

If you chop and walk around feeling confident, then the only choice your friends and family will have is to accept it. But if you walk around feeling self-conscious and second guessing yourself, then you open the door for their criticism to get to you.

I think you need to put your foot down and tell them straight up that their comments won't be tolerated. Sometimes you have to teach people how to treat you. If you don't like their criticism and negative attitude towards your hair then tell them so. Tell them that you are firm in your decision to chop and then do it. Eventually they will catch on and hopefully support you. They should love and support you no matter what hairstyle you have.

good luck :)

Papillion
01-08-2004, 11:05 PM
Originally posted by Melanizm@Jan 8 2004, 03:15 PM
If YOU want to chop, then do it.

Move past caring about criticism and do what YOU need to do to be satisfied with your hair. If you don't have any support from your friends or family, it doesn't matter. The only support you need is from yourself. Give yourself the support that they won't. If they say negative things, tell yourself positive things. If they say they hate it, reinforce to them that YOU love it.

If you chop and walk around feeling confident, then the only choice your friends and family will have is to accept it. But if you walk around feeling self-conscious and second guessing yourself, then you open the door for their criticism to get to you.

I think you need to put your foot down and tell them straight up that their comments won't be tolerated. Sometimes you have to teach people how to treat you. If you don't like their criticism and negative attitude towards your hair then tell them so. Tell them that you are firm in your decision to chop and then do it. Eventually they will catch on and hopefully support you. They should love and support you no matter what hairstyle you have.

good luck :)
I could not have said this better, myself. :thumbsup


Good luck.

carlaw78
01-13-2004, 08:30 AM
I have to agree, I have been transitioning since July and I want to cut my hair off but husband told me the other day he wants me to get a perm. I immediately brushed him off and told him a thing or two. But it still gets to me even though I am trying. But the sooner you cut it off the better I think.......

SugaSmacks
01-13-2004, 04:48 PM
Hey yall! Ain't nuthin to it but to do it!!!!! Girl, I did my OWN BC :app ! It was very liberating for me, and I don't regret it one bit!! I transitioned for 3 1/2 mths. I got tired of the 2 textures and I think my hair was getting tired of the 2 textures too, b/c "she" just wasn't cooperating 8) . My thought is....you won't be able to realize the full potential of your hair until you "meet" it and introduce yourself to a different you!

Lady :rainfro

caramelaggie
01-13-2004, 04:55 PM
Originally posted by Melanizm@Jan 8 2004, 06:15 PM
If YOU want to chop, then do it.

Move past caring about criticism and do what YOU need to do to be satisfied with your hair. If you don't have any support from your friends or family, it doesn't matter. The only support you need is from yourself. Give yourself the support that they won't. If they say negative things, tell yourself positive things. If they say they hate it, reinforce to them that YOU love it.

If you chop and walk around feeling confident, then the only choice your friends and family will have is to accept it. But if you walk around feeling self-conscious and second guessing yourself, then you open the door for their criticism to get to you.

I think you need to put your foot down and tell them straight up that their comments won't be tolerated. Sometimes you have to teach people how to treat you. If you don't like their criticism and negative attitude towards your hair then tell them so. Tell them that you are firm in your decision to chop and then do it. Eventually they will catch on and hopefully support you. They should love and support you no matter what hairstyle you have.

good luck :)
:app I have to agree as well. When I cut my hair one of my friends asked me if I had been drinking. I don't mind constructive critism but I don't think that was what I was getting. So I let her know she is supposed to be my friend. Whether friends agree with your decisions I think that they should support you. I mean really this is hair not life or death. Also the big chop is not a weak woman's cut. Cut your hair take a good look at yourself and recognize your beauty. I have guys approach me all the time and tell me that they like my hair, and sometimes they have more hair than I do. If you think that you and your hair are cute so will others. If not they still have to accept it. If you want to chop, CHOP and have No regrets! Good Luck. :rainfro

caramelaggie
01-13-2004, 04:57 PM
Also 2nappy I found all the support I needed here. I think that I talk about the funny stuff you all say sometimes and my friends get a little jealous.

2nappy4u
01-13-2004, 09:54 PM
Originally posted by Melanizm@Jan 8 2004, 05:15 PM
If YOU want to chop, then do it.

Move past caring about criticism and do what YOU need to do to be satisfied with your hair. If you don't have any support from your friends or family, it doesn't matter. The only support you need is from yourself. Give yourself the support that they won't. If they say negative things, tell yourself positive things. If they say they hate it, reinforce to them that YOU love it.

If you chop and walk around feeling confident, then the only choice your friends and family will have is to accept it. But if you walk around feeling self-conscious and second guessing yourself, then you open the door for their criticism to get to you.

I think you need to put your foot down and tell them straight up that their comments won't be tolerated. Sometimes you have to teach people how to treat you. If you don't like their criticism and negative attitude towards your hair then tell them so. Tell them that you are firm in your decision to chop and then do it. Eventually they will catch on and hopefully support you. They should love and support you no matter what hairstyle you have.

good luck :)
Melanizm and all napptural Ladies.....
thanks for the very good advice......beleive me i listened.....just this saturday i got so fed up with the 2 textures of my hair that i went in the bathroom and cut every stitch of those permed ends off :cen .....a little extreme ,but it got the job done. I had some negative reactions of course.....my moms was like you gonna go to church with your hair all nappy like that....but you know what .....i feel good...i took a long look at myself in the mirror, and i am cute with this twa..It hurts when people you love put you down....but hey my life and my hair and if i love it, they'll learn to like it.......i really appreciate the words ..i never thought getting rid of some hair would make me feel so free, cause im rockin what god gave me and it feels wonderful...So to all you ladies who havent chopped....DO IT!!!!...you'll feel so much relief.....i know i did.....im learning not to take negativity to heart....i love my hair :rainfro ...its short and kinky curly, but it's all mine....no additives necessary :) ...

Ladies I will post a picture soon letting you see my fabulous twa
Anywho...thanks for the encouragement...just a few words went a long way with me.........

babygurl
01-14-2004, 02:41 PM
I know what you mean.... people had a big problem with me cutting my hair.... but oh well...it's my hair!!!! Do what's best for you.....
My DH alwayshas a comment...but in a jking matter....but I know what I want .... so I just stand firm, that don't hve to deal with your hair...... you do

Dolliesdaughter
01-14-2004, 03:39 PM
Cut it. It's your hair. What's the problem? The problem is not your, it's the problems that people have with your hair. Or is it your feelings about being natural?

I always tell people my weight problem is my problem, what's it to you? Well then shut up.

KarmaQueen
01-15-2004, 12:33 AM
:cen Ain't nothing to it but to do it!! :cen

uzuri
01-15-2004, 08:36 PM
Congrats!!! you did it!!! :d) :d) :d) :d) Do not let your mother´s comments get at you....You should either ignore her when she makes negative comments about your hair, or have some serious talk with her...I mean why should she be ashamed of your God-given hair? She is a Christian, so she should respect God´s choice....

NewLox757
01-15-2004, 08:44 PM
WHAA GWAAN. DIS IZ NEWLOX757. I AM KIND OF IN THE SAME EXACT POSITION AS YOU, I HAVE 4 MONTHS OLD DREADS, BUT I STILL HAVE PERM LEFT. I LIP MY ENDS ONCE A MONTH. I WILL CONTINUE TO DO THIS UNTIL ALL OF THE PERM IS OFF, I SUGGEST THIS TO YOU SINCE U DONT WANT TO DO IT ALL AT ONCE. MY HAIR HAS GROWN EXTREMELY RAPIDLY SINCE I STARTED CLIPPING.

the80five
01-15-2004, 08:48 PM
Yay! Dang I don't even know you and I'm all proud and stuff ...
Congratulations! :d)

:) Anyway, don't forget to sign thePerm no more in 2004! (http://www.nappturality.com/modules/ipboard/index.php?showtopic=19057&hl=2004) thread!