PDA

View Full Version : Problems In The Work Place



Petitecutie
07-21-2006, 05:49 PM
Hi i work for the police department and some of the officers, well one officer actually always make disturbing comments about my hair. He'll say things like your hair looks like erykah ba- DOO DOO. or i look like a walking pencil and my hair is the eraser or he'll make some likes when you gonna come that bush and stuff like that. too me this is totally inappropriate for an employee to talk like that especially an officer. my mama told me to cuss him out but that aint me. My friend told me to complain on him cuz he's offending my race. well i don't know what to do. im scared to make a comment to him cuz he white and he can get away with it and i can't. what yall think i should do????

ljamiel
07-21-2006, 05:54 PM
well that is a good question. i think that you should fight fire with fire talk about him or go to the boss man

anabwi
07-21-2006, 05:56 PM
This is harrassment !!! Document what he says, when he says it, who was around when he said it, heck, get it on tape and get to your HR department.

NappyNovelist
07-21-2006, 05:57 PM
He can only get away with it if you let him. You need to file a complaint.

spiral
07-21-2006, 05:57 PM
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE("anabwi")</div>
This is harrassment !!! Document what he says, when he says it, who was around when he said it, heck, get it on tape and get to your HR department.[/b]

What she said.

kysses2
07-21-2006, 05:58 PM
I think you should tell him that you don&#39;t approve of him making comments like that, and it doesn&#39;t matter if he is black or white or whatever. If you keep letting him get away with it then he will continue to do it.

Pull him to the side & tell him, and if he continues then go to your superior, He probably know that he can get to you that way, I think we all get these ignorant comments from all races including our own. He might go home thinking of a way he can get to touch that Beautiful Nappy Stuff LOL!!!!!

Girl don&#39;t let that get you down. And don&#39;t change your hair to suit them or make them happy.

Petitecutie
07-21-2006, 06:02 PM
I think you should tell him that you don&#39;t approve of him making comments like that, and it doesn&#39;t matter if he is black or white or whatever. If you keep letting him get away with it then he will continue to do it.

Pull him to the side & tell him, and if he continues then go to your superior, He probably know that he can get to you that way, I think we all get these ignorant comments from all races including our own. He might go home thinking of a way he can get to touch that Beautiful Nappy Stuff LOL!!!!!

Girl don&#39;t let that get you down. And don&#39;t change your hair to suit them or make them happy.
[/b]



I hear what you all are saying and but you don&#39;t understand this is a police department im sorry to say but race makes a different of things if i complain it could possibly make my job harder in the long run my work could get sabotaged and so on and so on. thats what makes it sooooooooooo hard do you all see where im coming from.

kysses2
07-21-2006, 06:10 PM
So if you can&#39;t complain to no one or pull him to the side and let him know how you feel about that then I don&#39;t know what to say. You are right, I know race makes a difference and no I don&#39;t know what it is like to work in a Police Department and I am sorry that you have to go through that.

So what do you Plan to do?

knharde
07-21-2006, 06:34 PM
I agree w/ kyesses2: you should just tell him that you don&#39;t like his jokes. He probably doesnt realize that he is really hurting you, and is just trying to joke around. Dont come down on him hard, but just tell him, "hey, could you stop with the hair jokes man, I like my hair :)". Maybe crack a joke about something else...I dunno, but if all hes doing is teasing you about your hair, it sounds like he is just playing around. Being whit and all, hes probably ignorant about natural hair too...

Bai
07-21-2006, 06:44 PM
Sounds like you&#39;re in a sticky situation, but you have to make a decision. Even if sticking up for yourself might make more waves it&#39;s still the better choice in my book. At least you&#39;ll be able to go home everyday knowing that you didn&#39;t let those morons punk you. Hell, you might change policy and make it so that someone after you doesn&#39;t have to deal with the same abuse. It&#39;s not right for you to have to put with that, and have to live in fear to boot!!

Ugh, that makes me so mad!!

Jhera
07-21-2006, 06:47 PM
As a supervisor, I&#39;d suggest that you try to resolve the issue on your own first and just talk to him and tell him how his comments are offending you. If he still doesn&#39;t stop, go to your boss and make them handle the situation. Good luck...I hope it all works out.

Petitecutie
07-21-2006, 06:51 PM
thanks for your reply&#39;s ima say something to him next time and if he continues then i&#39;ll mention it to me sgt

Bai
07-21-2006, 11:43 PM
thanks for your reply&#39;s ima say something to him next time and if he continues then i&#39;ll mention it to me sgt
[/b]

Good choice! Be strong and keep us updated ;)

cocoapeblz
07-22-2006, 05:18 AM
This is harrassment !!! Document what he says, when he says it, who was around when he said it, heck, get it on tape and get to your HR department.
[/b]


I agree that&#39;s harrasment. But I DO think that you should tell him that you do not appreciate his comments. Be careful though. In male dominanted jobs it&#39;s always a struggle. So say it with respect even though he hasn&#39;t respected you. Cause you are a LADY. lolol

3xsalady
07-22-2006, 07:44 AM
I would think you&#39;d have a bigger problem if you were working for a small, privately owned company...but the Police Department?! I know that they have procedures in place for harrassment complaints (and it is harrassment)! Like the previous poster said, you need to document EVERYTHING! Everything he says to you write it down with the date and the time as well as the circumstances surrounding you when it happened. You also need to file a formal complaint, in writing. KEEP A COPY! All this does is back you up in the event the police department does nothing about it. Follow the chain of command in your complaints and keep copies of everything. If you are treated any differently on the job because of it that is called retaliation and more Retaliation law suits are won than discrimination law suits because they are easier to recognize and prove. I know a law suit can be long, hard, and expensive, but if things are going the way you say, then it will only help you, as well as any Nappturals coming behind you, in the long run.

Napia Mia
07-22-2006, 09:33 AM
I do understand what you&#39;re going through cause over two year ago, I was working for a very large financial services company in a very well paying senior-level marketing and communications position. I was the ONLY female supporting the executive team (all white men) and the ONLY black people manager in our office in the city where I live. After working there for two months, I had a VP yell at me physically man handle me in a conference room. Yes, he put his hands on me. Although it was my word against his I reported it. I found out a couple of weeks later that HR had not written up a formal complaint. I pushed the issue, and told them I wanted it reported. Because of privacy issues, I really don&#39;t know what if anything they did about it. However two months after the incident I suddenly developed performance issues although I had none prior to that point. I&#39;d only been working there for four months in total. When these "performance issues" developed, I had to make a decision. When I discovered my manager was not going to support me (when she originally appeared to be doing so), I resigned.

I&#39;ve been looking for comparable employment since. Although my situation wasn&#39;t hair related (I interviewed and was hired while wearing microbraids) it doesn&#39;t matter. Harrasment is harrasment...whatever the reason. To this day, on occasion I wondered if I made the right decision. But everytime I relive that day, (which isn&#39;t very often now thankfully) I&#39;m certain I did. Even if I never find another comparable position in my field, I knew then, and I&#39;m quite certain now, that I could not continue to work for a company that condoned that type of behavior.

You&#39;re going to need to document everything he says to you from here on out. You also need to familiarize yourself with the department&#39;s harrasment and discrimination policy. You may also need to contact EEOC and find out what you might have to do to file a lawsuit in the event that you begin to develop "performance" problems after you bring this situation to light (should you chose to do so). Knowledge about all of your options is what will empower you and give you the strength to move on this if that&#39;s what you so choose to do. Unfortunately it my word against his so I had no legal grounds for a lawsuite that I could win. Perhaps he&#39;s said these things in front of other people. If he has, make sure you note that in all the documentation you keep. It will be good that you have witnesses if you have to pursue this further than the conversation that you really do need to have with him about making these comments to you.

Whatever you decide to do...good luck and keep us posted.

Claire76
07-22-2006, 10:35 AM
EXACTLY. File a formal complaint. Apparently, you have had repeated interaction with him to no avail, so make use of the formal procedures that are in place to protect you from harrassment on the job.

On another note, I am appalled at the number of people who think they have no recourse against racist behavior in the work place in 2006. That&#39;s as much a root cause as this crazy man thinking he can make such hideous comments. Know your rights and exercise them and disabuse yourself of the notion that someone can say whatever he wants to you because he&#39;s a white man. Also it is never appropriate to curse a co-worker out, nor is it an effective way to get what you want in a business environment.
[/b]


ITA.


im scared to make a comment to him cuz he white and he can get away with it and i can&#39;t. [/b]

:huh:

This is the reason why your comments perplex me...


I would think you&#39;d have a bigger problem if you were working for a small, privately owned company...but the Police Department?! I know that they have procedures in place for harrassment complaints (and it is harrassment)! [/b]

Be strong. And as AnaisKarim said, don&#39;t stoop to his level.

anabwi
07-22-2006, 11:08 AM
That&#39;s why he feels he can get away with it, because he&#39;s white AND male. Don&#39;t fall for that crap !!

~ms.b~
07-22-2006, 12:12 PM
File a complaint take it to your HR department. That person is making you uncomfortable in the workplace and im sure when you got the job you signed harrassement documents... We had a supervisor at my job that was making comments (racial) not helping out people of other ethnicities, etc... It had been going on for a while... well next thing you know one day he was gone... They gave him the opportunity to quit or be fired... or as we like to say... since we see it so much( i work in a call center) he got the boot. If someone is making you uncomfortable in the workplace it makes you feel like you arent happy to be there and then your work starts to suffer because of it. :angry: Let me tell you what happened to me when I was 16. I was working at a fast food joint and one of the assistant managers was always trying to ask me out. I always declined.. Shoot he was a bout 30. Instead of doing the right theing and reporting the situation I quit. I let the harrasser win and you dont want that to happen. Now my situation and yours are a little different but the fact remains we were both harrassed, both of us felt uncomfortable, and both are completly upset about the situation. Now that I am older. I am not afraid to report someone who is treating me unfairly at work. i know it is against the company&#39;s policies and I know the company doesnt stand for it so why should I? I wish you luck and I truly hope you make some sort of formal complaint to upper management.

Napia Mia
07-23-2006, 10:00 AM
Tell your co-worker exactly how you feel, first. Document this.

If he continues, send an email/letter to your supervisor or whoever you report to with some facts and asking to discuss the matter.

Your supervisor is supposed to protect you in such situations like this.
[/b]

I&#39;d be cautious about emails because they can end up being shared with folks that you don&#39;t want to know your business. Same thing with regard to voicemails. If you use these two communication vehicles, make sure you use them to only request meetings or to discuss the "issue." Don&#39;t name names, makes accusations or say things that can be held against you later. Take paper notes and take them home with you at night. And, don&#39;t put anything on your computer that you don&#39;t want someone else to see. Also, if you chose to pursue this, don&#39;t let your guard down. And, you&#39;ll need to step UP your performance if you&#39;re at all lacking in any area. If you usually come in a little late, make a few too many personal phone calls, come back late from lunch or have other behaviors that they can nitpick...stop them immeditately. Trust me, if they can uses such things against you later...someone will. And it won&#39;t matter if everyone else is doing something if it&#39;s against the rules, these things can suddenly become a big deal.

About documenting situations...

Just go back to your office or desk or whatever, write down the Date and Time the incident took place. Describe the scenario or situation. Note who was present during the incident, and who may have overheard the conversation. Do this to establish a pattern. During the day, keep your little note pad out of site (preferably under lock and key) and at night take it home with you. Early in my career, I had so much documentation on a situation that when I discussed it with my manager&#39;s, manager&#39;s boss, she told me "if only half of this stuff is true, we have a major problem."

I ended up getting a new manager because I proved that my current manager was basically psychotic. She was also told to leave me the "heck alone."

mgtgcc
07-23-2006, 10:47 AM
im scared to make a comment to him cuz he white and he can get away with it and i can&#39;t. [/b] This is bogus. That&#39;s exactly why he continues to harrass you. You have so little regard for yourself, that you&#39;re willing to tolerate this bs, becaue he&#39;s white? <_< :huh: The behavior won&#39;t stop unless you push the issue. You need to notify the proper personnel to effectively put your employer on notice that this individual is creating a pervasive and hostile work environment.

So I don&#39;t waste bandwith re-posting this, please see the information in Harrassment on the Job (http://www.nappturality.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=26648&hl=harrassment).

Stop being an enabler!

ETA link to thread