Is 12 years old too young for birth control?

[JazziePizzaz]

I have a friend who was a teenaged mother, and we were casually having a conversation and somehow it got on the topic of BC. Well as you know most parents want better for their children than they may have had. She was a teenaged mother herself, and she obviously wants better for her daughter. She said that when her daughter starts her period she was going to immediately put her on birth control. :shock: Personally I feel that that is waaaaaaayyyyy to young for birth control, the poor little girl barely understands life much less something like BC, and sex! Not to mention her poor body. THough being on the BC at 12 doens't necessarily mean that she will be sexually active, I think that is more of a go ahead. Personally I remember as a teenager what kept me from having sex was the risk of pregnancy. If that risk isn't there then what's stopping you? STD? Most young teens aren't concered with STD's because 1) they don't understand the consequenses, and 2) they don't feel as if that can happen to them, that's only for "those people."

I don't feel that is a good idea. I think there are so many other options starting with education, and self love first before forcing the child to have to deal with something like that at such a young age.

Ladies what are you're views about this subject if it were your daughter?

[strawwberryz]

I can understand the mother's fear but 12!!! :shock: At 12, I was still figuring out if I was a boy or girl :?
We are yet to see the after effects of all these medications for many years down the line. Goodness!
Maybe for the mum anything is better than a teenage pregnancy again :?

[LotsOfLocs]

No, I dont think it is to young if the child is thinking about being sexually active or is. A baby is too young for a 12 year old. I went on birth control myself at 14 without my parents consent. Lets be real here. I was a 12 year old and new a lot about sex. Other 12 year olds were having sex. Education is not a enough, you need a back up plan just in case. A parent giving a child BCP is not automatically saying to go have sex. It is saying that we are open with each other. If you ever have sex you know what to do and have the tools. My mom was not open, and was in denial. I went to Planned Parenthood and got the Norplant. Parents need to stop being scared and open their mouths. Your environment and neighborhood also plays a measure factor. So called "unplanned pregnancies and young mothers are destroying the Black family. Talking and education is obviously not enough. Some parents have fast *** kids, they need more. Your friend I'm sure knows her daughter.

[mrandmrsmer]

I don't have children, but I think it wouldn't be in a 12-year-old girl's best interest to start her on birth control pills so she won't get pregnant, and I also believe it is sort of a "green light" to start having sex early, too. Kids may not act on it right away, but eventually, they might! No way, no how would I tell my sister she should start her daughter (who is now eight years old) on BCPs at 12 so her daughter won't get pregnant. Wow....very scary how the world is turning today. :(

[chocol8diva714]

As a 21 y/o college student, I believe that BCP's for a 12 y/o is a decision that should be made on a case-by-case basis. Considering that I had a friend in 5th GRADE who had a child and know many, many teenaged mothers(some who have multiple children), your friend's idea may be warranted. However, she really needs to talk to her daughter, pre-teens, 'tweens, and teens these days are experiencing "life" earlier than generations before them. For many, it may seem outrageous but the daughter probably knows of sex and has curiousities and many times this is where the issue of teenaged sex and pregnancy arises. Before making any decisions she needs to have an open and honest conversation with her child. In situations like this its better to be proactive versus reactive!


Smooches and blessings :P

[Twistie74]

Not if she insists on having sex.

It's either unplanned grandchildren or more than one unplanned grandchild.

[carlasher]

12 is too young for sex not to mention what artificial hormones do to the body!

[marissasensei]

Although the girl should be on some kind of birth control if she's sexually active, I'm not sure that I'd put a twelve year old on the pill. A patch or Depo maybe, but not a pill that requires that kid to remember to take it every day. Hell, a lot of grown women can't take their pills according to the directions!

[SweetAfrica]

I goofed :oops: I voted "definitely" too young but that wasn't the question. I meant to say "Absolutely NOT" :!:

At that age a child should be taught to abstain from sex and focus on school, extra curricular activities etc. She's going to learn to love and respect her body as a temple of God. No 12 year old child of mine is going to insist on having sex! I find that outrageous :!:

You have to instill these values from early on so this isn't even a question.

More specifically, if we're talking about the pill I say a child is definitely too young. The risk of disease from the pill is enough for ME not to use it. I would think that little girl starting at 12 will have a greater risk of developing disease...I don't know this for sure though.

Don't get me wrong though, sex education will start early, as soon as my child has been exposed to sexuality and shows some understanding of it. My mother talked to me about sex when I was 9-10 or perhaps earlier. She's a midwife and a public health nurse who has devoted her career to helping unwed teenaged mothers - her youngest child/mother was 12 :( and it broke her heart.

[Deej]

I have a 13 year old sister and I can't say that I see my mother taking her for birth control. I do think it should be weighed on a case by case basis as someone said earlier, my sister is into going to the skating rink, talking on the phone and is chaperoned as much as possible plus my mom makes it a point to know who she's hangin with. I have also stressed to her that if she needs to say something that's uncomfortable for her with my mom, she should come to me. But, to start the child off right after she gets her period is kind of putting ideas in her head to soon, in my opinion.

[bruinhotty]

If I felt that my 12 year old was at risk for having sex, I would put her on birth control. I will admit that that is a scary thought. I would hope that my child would not be interested in having sex that young, but I know that some kids do so birth control would definitly be an option.

[BlackOnyx03]

Yes because 12 years old is too young to have sex !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our world needs healing, and our children need to be children. Jesus, have mercy!

[z3000zee]

Somehow I selected Maybe by mistake. I intended to choose absolutely not. Way too young.

[keima]

This is a hard one, but I think I'd have to say maybe :? It all depends on the situation. Kids these days are get sexually active at such young ages. You would think that 12 is too young, but kids are doing it with or without their parents knowledge. If I thought my 12 year old was engaging or thinking about engaging is sexual activity, I would put her on the pill. It wouldn't mean that I would be condoning her to have sex, I would just be trying to prevent early parenthood. If you think they don't understand their bodies at 12, well they surely don't understand having and raising a child at that age. Most adults are not even mentally prepared to have a baby. It is probably easier for me to come to this decision since that I don't actually have a 12 year old. I dread the thougt of having to possibly make that decision in the future.

[Medusa Negrita]

[quote] I have a friend who was a teenaged mother, and we were casually having a conversation and somehow it got on the topic of BC. Well as you know most parents want better for their children than they may have had. She was a teenaged mother herself, and she obviously wants better for her daughter. She said that when her daughter starts her period she was going to immediately put her on birth control. :shock: Personally I feel that that is waaaaaaayyyyy to young for birth control, the poor little girl barely understands life much less something like BC, and sex! Not to mention her poor body. THough being on the BC at 12 doens't necessarily mean that she will be sexually active, I think that is more of a go ahead. Personally I remember as a teenager what kept me from having sex was the risk of pregnancy. If that risk isn't there then what's stopping you? STD? Most young teens aren't concered with STD's because 1) they don't understand the consequenses, and 2) they don't feel as if that can happen to them, that's only for "those people."

I don't feel that is a good idea. I think there are so many other options starting with education, and self love first before forcing the child to have to deal with something like that at such a young age.

Ladies what are you're views about this subject if it were your daughter?

*jumping in here *sigh* I know folks are tired of seeing my name everywhere but this is important topic to me, with 3 daughters and 11 y.o son myself.

She wants to put her bc when she starts her period? What if it not before the age of 12? Would you put a 9 y.o. old BC?

And why is it easier to make our daughters be responsible for BC. I have yet to hear of mothers say "my son is 12, do you think that's to early to give him condoms? - just in case?"

Granted, kids know a lot obout sex at younger ages. I know I knew about sex - or least about as much where everything goes and how to do it, if nothing else. I talk to my son about sex. He knows a lot.....and I sure all the information he gotten is not from me unfortnately, but I want to be his backup information person (or his father) in case he's any question or need to talk. I know he learned some school in too - reproduction, periods, condoms and other Birth, and whatever they teach in health/sex ed session (a session, not really a reg class). I think it cool they taught about condoms, because I know when I took these glasses in 5th grade, they only talk about sex from a technical pov, and it didn't include BC like condoms. I have no problem with sex ed in school. They have more visual and it helps me we talk about these things.

We (my son and I and the girls) talk intermittently here and there about sex, drugs, alcohol, smoking, lots of stuff. Me and my son talk a little more because he's older. The older you are, the more you understand. I get their opinions and ask questions and stuff like that. I incorporate 'sex talking' with 'sexual protection.' Sexual protection is not about pregnancy or STD or sex prevention exactly, it's about protection from sexual predetors. I really don't know what to say, but I think having some knowledge of sex might help, but then again what does a 5 year old know about that? Yet that's important too because I know and heard of 6 year old being forced to perform oral sex on some folks :?. So now I have to talk to a 5 and 8 and 11 about specific sex like oral sex, when their knowlege of regular sex isn't even complete or just developing? Um...not yet. But I ask how much they know about sex so I can know where to start, and then I try to keep it basic and simple for their ages. In regards to this particular situation - right now we on "its my body and I'm the only one that can touch, not anyone else, and other people have a right to their own body and I should be touching theirs either."

Recently I watched Oprah and she was talking about her sexual abuse, and how sexual feelings, included those gotten from abuse, can feel good to a child, and because of that a child will often blame themselves for sexual abuse because they know something 'dirty' and 'wrong' isn't suppose to feel good, and if does, then you're doing something 'wrong' yourself. I can understand that (I can also identify with that). I don't think sex and sexual feelings are dirty at all, but some folks can use and abuse with sex, and that can be your boyfriend, you, using a child for such purposes, etc. You also have to figure in sexual exploration of young kids into this, such as playing 'doctor' or 'you show me yours and I'll show you mine" and all that stuff - not that that's bad. Sexual exploration is is normal, but coupled with other people trying to take advantage of young kids and stuff.....it's really quite complicated (especially as Im sitting here writing it, it seems complicated even to me).

Anyway, I digress - what's my point? The point is giving a child BC at 12 is taking the easy way out IMO. You don't have to say shyte, you don't have to talk, you don't have to tell her much of anything, all you have to do is to get her prepared for which you think she *might* do before hand. Children can have sex before they know anything about it, either willing or unwillingly, and essentially you're saying "I was a teenage mom, you *might* be one too, so here's the BC just in case." And it's been my experience that these type of moms are the hardest to talk if the kind of sex you have just happens to be the 'unwillingly' kind (see it all runs together eventually). I believe it was Ros who said the earlier a child actually has sex, the more likely that sex was forced upon them. Not saying that always happens, but I do agree with that. That why communication is the key, moreso than just handing out any type of BC. So why aren't preparing for that possibility (of sexual abuse)? We know it does happen. Isn't that like saying "here's some BC in case you get raped and preg at 12" - it is essentially saying the same thing to me because if you can't talk about sex, you can't talk about abuse or anything IMO. What about relationships? Why can't you talk to your child about healthy relationships, emotional and sexual attatchments (especially after sex), about valuing your body and being careful who you 'let up in it' or 'where you stick your thang' (if you a boy), and about having responsible sex, and being able to finish school and having a job to be able to physically take care of child and all that. Yeah, it sounds hard, especially if you got kids that act like they ain't listening and people (parents and caregivers) get scared and fed up and say 'fuggit', but sometimes all you got to do is open your mouth and let it flow. Children really do listen. Give them that benefit of the doubt regardless of how much they act like they ain't listening.


I do think BC should be talked about, in as far what type of birth control is out there what is best for her situation *should* and *when* she or he starts to have sex. BCP is not a good option for teenagers because they are usualy not in stable relationships and it doesn't protect from STD's. There are some things even condoms don't protect you from, like crabs and Herpes, so they should be very aware of whom they are having sex with. My personal opinion is that if a girl is afraid to look at a guy 'down there' and inspect that region and his entire body, then she ain't ready to have sex. For teenagers, I advocate condoms or with a non-hormonal back-up method, like spermacide or something, but they should be allowed to talk and think about what BC is best for them once you given them the options and talked with them the pros and cons of each method.

I don't think BC in and of itself 'green lights' any child or adult to have sex - that's not true. What 'green lights' a child to have sex (or do drugs, or smoke a cig or get drunk or whatever) is LACK OF COMMUNICATION! LACK OF LISTENING TO YOUR CHILD! LACK OF BEING OPEN AND HONEST!" But many people can't do that and have such a hard time with it. And I know it's hard, but trust me, you're betta off in the long run. This is not fullproof and I can't say "if you do this, your kids will not have sex, do drugs, smoke cigs or get drunk" or whatever. From personal experience, this is what I wanted from my moms or any part of my family and I can't tell you how much that it was sorely lacking. I think at best it can only help, never hinder.

Sorry so long. Print it out and give to your friend. As I said, hopefully it help, but I don't think it will hinder :?

[Medusa Negrita]

I goofed also.

The question was
"Would you put your 12 year old child on Birth Control"

My answer - Definitely!

It should have been - Absolutely Not!"


Wonder how many people made that mistake? :?
I can't believe that a majority of the people here would.

I didn't read the question all the way and jumped in with an answer and I think I mistook it to say something else, but don't know what exactly that would prompt me to answer 'definitely!'

[jmnappy]

I made the same mistake.

I choose definitely in response to the title of the topic "Is 12 yrs old to young for birth control?"

As for the question "Would you put your 12 yr old on bc?" Definitely not!

I would never put my 12 yr old daughter on birth control. I think that it condones sex at an early age. A child that young isn't mentally equipped to handles the consequences of sex.

Also, girls on bc tend to bypass using condoms because the bc pills/patch or whatever prevents the pregnancy...but it doesn't prevent std's.

[JazziePizzaz]

From the number of people who've mistakenly chosen an answer other than what they meant on the poll question, I'm beginning to think maybe my wording was a bit confusing.

Sorry about that :roll:

[Medusa Negrita]

No, the wording wasn't confusing, it was as jnNappy said.

People answered poll thinking the title of your post was the poll question, but the poll question was different from the title question - prompting a different (reverse) answer.

I suggest going back and changing the poll question to the title question. That would reflect what some people already voted, but for those who read the question and answered accordingly....... :?. It would help with eliminating that mistake of answering in reverse.

[Alken41100]

I do not have daughters that I have given birth too but I have two step daughters and I ask my husband what would he do if he found out his daughters were having sex young. He was tongue tied and I told him he need to start thinking about it because kids are having sex younger and younger. I was shocked when a few girls that I went to ninth grade were pregnant coming to high school, now some are pregnant going to middle school.

I am undecided, on one hand I understand that "we" do not want "our" daughters having babies before they are ready. But is BC giving the girls permission to have sex. I started taking BC at 14 and my main concern was to not get pregnant and I thought that I couldn't get a STD. How dumb, but what can I say I was 14. Some young girls think like that and don't know that an STD can kill you, that should be more at the top of the list than getting pregnant but we let the boys talk us into have sex without condoms partly because we are on BC and the other part is because they know that they can do it.

My nephew is 15 and is curious and he is so open with my brother and his wife. I told my brother that Cam may have more of a problem getting sex than if they had a daughter because 15 year old girls aren't having sex with 15 year old boys, they are having sex with older boys. They talk to him about condoms and abstenice (sp) and they are concerned but I don't think they are as concerned as they would be if they had a 15 year old daughter.

[Wendy]

I really think that one is best left up to the parents of this twelve year old. I'm sure their are 12 year olds who have no interest in actually having sex and won't for quite a while but I'm sure their are also parents of 12 years who have found out that they will soon be grandparents and wish they had.

Each parent should honestly decide for themselve by having lots of open discussions with their children at a very young age. And giving them honest reasons why it's important to wait until they are older. And this this doesn't just pertain to our daughter's our sons need to be taught as well.

Unfortunately today there are much worse things that can occur from uncommitted and irresponsible sex and birth controls pills will do nothing to prevent them.

[happilynappy]

I believe that most young girls decide to have sex because talking about sex in most homes is taboo. I know from some of the threads on this forum alone that our parent's were not talking to us about sex, the consquences, or about birth control. I have chose to take a different route with my children and address the subject early on. If they know in advance they can make wise choices when it comes to sex. There is no way that I am putting my child on birth control at 12 years old. At 12 her focus is not going to even be **SEX** why you might ask? I am going to make sure they are able to come to either their father or myself, I am going to make sure they know the consequences of having sex before you are emotionally ready. I am also going to try my best to keep them involved in activites so their mind want be on sex sex sex!!! Kid's need an outlets and unfortunately many of them don't have that.

[nappturallymeRG]

I goofed :oops: I voted "definitely" too young but that wasn't the question. I meant to say "Absolutely NOT" :!:

At that age a child should be taught to abstain from sex and focus on school, extra curricular activities etc. She's going to learn to love and respect her body as a temple of God. No 12 year old child of mine is going to insist on having sex! I find that outrageous :!:

You have to instill these values from early on so this isn't even a question.

More specifically, if we're talking about the pill I say a child is definitely too young. The risk of disease from the pill is enough for ME not to use it. I would think that little girl starting at 12 will have a greater risk of developing disease...I don't know this for sure though.


Don't get me wrong though, sex education will start early, as soon as my child has been exposed to sexuality and shows some understanding of it. My mother talked to me about sex when I was 9-10 or perhaps earlier. She's a midwife and a public health nurse who has devoted her career to helping unwed teenaged mothers - her youngest child/mother was 12 :( and it broke her heart.

I agree. I do not think it is appropriate for a 12 yr old..she needs to focus on self- respect, school, and God

[ooooo]

YES!

I voted "Maybe". My daughter will be 8 years old tomorrow.
I expect her to start her period when she is between 11 and 13 years
old, hopefully 13 to 14 years old (no need to rush nature these days -
lol).

I am seriously considering putting her on the NuvaRing or Birth control
pills. That estrogen therapy supposedly helps reduce acne and
regulates the menstrual cycle.

I also discuss social and cultural issues with her all the time so that she
understands the SERIOUSNESS of life and all these systematic evils.
There are issues with MEN, specific issues with BLACK MEN, specific
issues with POPULAR CULTURE, and an amazing assortment of issues
with MIDDLE AND HIGH SCHOOL CHILDREN (having sex and sucking d*ck
and laughing about it). It's a sick world. I am trying to teach her to
follow God.

[JustKei]

I know women who have put their daughters on the pill. They dont tell the child what it is is so they think its some kind of vitamin. :dunno:

[Fatty_Girl06]

I think alot of parents dont realize that kids know ALOT more about sex than they think. By age 10 kids have a good understanding (my sister had her first sex-ed class in 3rd grade) by 12 (about grade 6) kids know almost everything at least I did and again I got a sexual education class (I thought it was a little late). I think instead of just sticking every 12 year old on the pill parents should let their daughters know that the option is there if tthere becoming sexually active and do not want children but they should also make other methods of BC available because pregnancy is one thing but STD's are another. Oh and yes I would put my 12 year old on BC if she asked for it or showed and interest in taking it but first we should research which is best for them etc etc. But then again I dont know how things will be when I have a 12 year old since I'm only 16 myself. Just my :2cents:

[luvlilocs]

First of all, when my daughters are 12 they won't have an oppurtunity to get pregnant because there will be no dating at that time. NONE!

However, if they were 16 or 17 I would say maybe.

[charli]

I don't think it's a good idea. I don't think people consider the biological consequences of taking BC pills for extended periods of time. I remember once reading an article once where a woman said something like "we spend 10-20 years taking BC pills trying to not get pregnant and then when we're ready to have children, we expect it to just happen." I know a lot of people whos tarted taking the pill as teenagers, and took it consistently, that were advised by their GYNs to lay off. I mean, I love BC, but you're artificially regulating your natural bodily processes for extended periods of time, starting at an age where you haven't even fully matured into that process yet.

Do we even know IF there are long term consequences to doing this in adolescence? No. They don't do these types of clinical trials on children.

[Fatty_Girl06]

Originally posted by luvlilocs@Feb 6 2005, 11:04 AM
First of all, when my daughters are 12 they won't have an oppurtunity to get pregnant because there will be no dating at that time. NONE!


705781


No dating does not mean no contact with boys intimately. Even though YOU dont give your daughter permission to date theres nothing you can do to stop her. It's all up to her really for everything that doesnt need legal parental consent. " Good" girls get pregnant young too

[YoGirlToo]

can a 12 year old support a baby?
can a 12 y/o run a house?
can a 12 y/o drive?
can a 12 y/o pay bills


then a 12 y/o need to lock it up, stay in school. join band/ take a sewing class/ learn to cook/ join the pep squad/ take up track and field/ take a dancing class/ learn to paint/ do her homework/
join chorus

there are plenty things to do than screw around in the bathroom stalls or whever they do it in the schools now

[YoGirlToo]

also if the 12 y/o is on the pill and is having sex- who's to say she'll take it everyday

what if she wants a baby- i know girls like that
then all she's doing is making another baby for her mama to raise

[lsubabiedee]

I definitely would not put my preteen on BC...I don't even like the effects on my body

ETA: yeah, dont underestimate what kids do and do not know about sex...i knew a lot about sex at a very very early age...and i had friends that were having sex at 12

[Venetter]

ITA w/charli.
Hormones are already out of wack during puberty. Adding the pill to all of that sounds like a medical disaster waiting to happen.

[tran68]

Has she talked to her daughter, is her daughter having sex, have a boyfriend, etc....?? I don't think she should jump out there and put her on bc just to prevent her from getting pregnant, she's got to dig deeper and communicate with her, geez!

My daughter will be 12 in June and she just started her menstrual cycle last month. For the past 4 years we've been talking extensively about boys and sex, the changes her body is going through. She's just not "there" yet as far as even being interested in boys in that regard. If she were, I'd urge her to use condoms first. Yes, I would like her to abstain and wait until she's married, but if that's not the case I refuse to rob her of the knowledge and tools necessary she'll need to have safe sex.

[Button2004]

Originally posted by JustKei@Feb 2 2005, 03:41 PM
I know women who have put their daughters on the pill. They dont tell the child what it is is so they think its some kind of vitamin. :dunno:

700203



Somehow, that just doesn't seem like a good idea to me... :unsure:

They should know what it is...shouldn't they...

[PrincessDrRe]

Originally posted by Fatty_Girl06@Feb 6 2005, 06:39 PM
No dating does not mean no contact with boys intimately. Even though YOU dont give your daughter permission to date theres nothing you can do to stop her. It's all up to her really for everything that doesnt need legal parental consent. " Good" girls get pregnant young too

706163


Dat's right!!!

:pop:

[teekydawg]

me and my 12 year old read this thread together. she doesn't want birth control and i wouldn't put her on it... girls i grew up with who took it have difficulties as adults with their reproductive systems and i'm not taking any chances. open communication, preparing your kids with accurate information and then trust that they will make good decisions is pretty much my strategy. along with plenty of supervised extra curricular activities and a work schedule that allows me to be home when she gets home.

[YoGirlToo]

watch maury today -its on now with an 11 yo with a baby--

[CatSuga]

Originally posted by YoGirlToo@Feb 7 2005, 02:32 PM
watch maury today -its on now with an 11 yo with a baby--

707430


Now that is sick.......

[watercolorz]

Originally posted by YoGirlToo@Feb 6 2005, 10:40 PM
can a 12 year old support a baby?
can a 12 y/o run a house?
can a 12 y/o drive?
can a 12 y/o pay bills
then a 12 y/o need to lock it up, stay in school. join band/ take a sewing class/ learn to cook/ join the pep squad/ take up track and field/ take a dancing class/ learn to paint/ do her homework/
join chorus

706635


I have an 11-year-old daughter; she is a CHILD… this subject upsets me so because if you are discussing birth control for a 12-year-old, you are really talking about a lack of parental supervision.

We are so quick to trade our children’s innocence for our convenience. I am not talking about keeping biological facts from our children, but I am speaking of sexualizing our children and then substituting birth control for guidance cause we can’t be bothered.

No I don’t think my daughter is perfect, but I do know that I have friends and relatives with daughters of the same age who don’t want to play with her because they find her “corny” (she still plays with dolls, and isn’t into boys yet). I have actually been lectured by other parents for social retarding my daughter, and was warned that if I keep her “under my skirt” anymore she will end up a lesbian.

She is 11!!! How much freedom should a CHILD have… I can’t believe that the general consensus is relaxing hair is child abuse but pumping an immature body full of artificial hormones why that is left up for discussion and debate. ~W

[lil_nikky]

i do not think that it is right to put a child on birth control.

i am 19 years old i learned about sex at a very young age. my mother talked to me about it but i was young and shy and that just wasn't something that i felt comfortable discussing with her. most of what i knew came from movies, books, and older cousins. i didn't get formal sex education until i was in the 9th grade. i think that you should at least try to talk to your child about sex and the risks and make sure that you stay open with them so they wont be afraid to come to you with any questions and or concerns that they have.

[Venetter]

Originally posted by watercolorz@Feb 7 2005, 06:08 PM
I have an 11-year-old daughter; she is a CHILD… this subject upsets me so because if you are discussing birth control for a 12-year-old, you are really talking about a lack of parental supervision.

We are so quick to trade our children’s innocence for our convenience. I am not talking about keeping biological facts from our children, but I am speaking of sexualizing our children and then substituting birth control for guidance cause we can’t be bothered.

No I don’t think my daughter is perfect, but I do know that I have friends and relatives with daughters of the same age who don’t want to play with her because they find her “corny” (she still plays with dolls, and isn’t into boys yet). I have actually been lectured by other parents for social retarding my daughter, and was warned that if I keep her “under my skirt” anymore she will end up a lesbian.

She is 11!!! How much freedom should a CHILD have… I can’t believe that the general consensus is relaxing hair is child abuse but pumping an immature body full of artificial hormones why that is left up for discussion and debate. ~W

707616


:smil3f72836ee752e:

[Fatty_Girl06]

To me safe-sex is over-rated, everytime you have sex your taking a risk. There is no such thing as safe-sex except no sex at all. And take it from me, even though you make think your child is a child what some 12 year old think of themselves is ALOT different. I remember feeling like I was grown even if it was 5 years ago so you have to put yourself in their position and their mindset when you talk to them

[moejoe4]

I believe I made a common mistake. I checked definitely when it should have been absolutely not! I would NOT put a 12 year old on birth control.

[thunderstorm]

Originally posted by watercolorz@Feb 7 2005, 11:08 PM
I have an 11-year-old daughter; she is a CHILD… this subject upsets me so because if you are discussing birth control for a 12-year-old, you are really talking about a lack of parental supervision.

We are so quick to trade our children’s innocence for our convenience. I am not talking about keeping biological facts from our children, but I am speaking of sexualizing our children and then substituting birth control for guidance cause we can’t be bothered.

No I don’t think my daughter is perfect, but I do know that I have friends and relatives with daughters of the same age who don’t want to play with her because they find her “corny” (she still plays with dolls, and isn’t into boys yet). I have actually been lectured by other parents for social retarding my daughter, and was warned that if I keep her “under my skirt” anymore she will end up a lesbian.

She is 11!!! How much freedom should a CHILD have… I can’t believe that the general consensus is relaxing hair is child abuse but pumping an immature body full of artificial hormones why that is left up for discussion and debate. ~W

707616


there's nothing to add to this but a few :smil3f72836ee752e: :smil3f72836ee752e: :smil3f72836ee752e: :smil3f72836ee752e:

[nmeadowsmd]

You know this is a really interesting topic, especially for me because I am a pediatrician. This issue is very real and dynamic.

First to the question of would I put my 12 yo daughter on birth control. Well that depends on the purpose of the bcp. I have many patients with menstral irregularly ie..progestrone / estrogen defeciencies where hormone replacement is necessary for secondary sexual characteristic development/ menstral cycle control.

To address the question of contraceptive use in a 12 yo for birth control in a young lady who is not already sexually active. Well this is not as uncommon as one would think. I have other mothers who are in this situation where they feel that bcp are the best alternative to teen pregnancy.

WRONG! Getting pregnant is no longer the worst cases scenario for a teenage girl. The worst case scenario for this 12 yo is contacting HIV. It is the number 1 cause of death in young adults age 25 in african american women. The usual age when they are contacting HIV is as a teenager.

I mean no disrespect to your friend who I am sure is doing a wonderfuljob raising her daughter but most of the confounding problems I have seen (and this may not be your friend's issue) have been related to parents inability/unwillingness to have frank and open discussions with their children about sex and STD's. Your friend has so much hind site knowledge to impart to her daughter and that will be the best weapon she has against peer pressure/ outside influences. To often I have seen parents who are completely clueless about their children's activities ad life choices.

Starting bcp to prevent pregnancy and then leaving the issue alone if her daughter should start having sexual activity is a huge mistake in my opinion because:
1. It does not set a standard of what is acceptable and unacceptable activities. (Having sex at 12 yo is just too young and should not be encouraged - in my opinion)
2. bcp in NO WAY protects against STD'S (most specifically HIV). This will give that young lady a false sense of security that she is PROTECTED. Believe me I work with lots of adolescents and they believe it!
3. This is a perfect opportunity to create a closer more intimate relationship with her 12 yo daughter by sharing her many life experiences with her daughter and establishing a trusting relationship.

Well I know this is a long post so I will stop now. I feel so strongly about this because African american women are dying in droves and it is actually becoming an epidemic and our young women are the ones who are suffering. (we are gettin HIV from our men so we need to protect and take care of ourselves and there is not time like the present to start doing this.

HTH :wub:

[Venetter]

Originally posted by nmeadowsmd@Feb 11 2005, 03:23 PM
You know this is a really interesting topic, especially for me because I am a pediatrician. This issue is very real and dynamic.

First to the question of would I put my 12 yo daughter on birth control. Well that depends on the purpose of the bcp. I have many patients with menstral irregularly ie..progestrone / estrogen defeciencies where hormone replacement is necessary for secondary sexual characteristic development/ menstral cycle control.

To address the question of contraceptive use in a 12 yo for birth control in a young lady who is not already sexually active. Well this is not as uncommon as one would think. I have other mothers who are in this situation where they feel that bcp are the best alternative to teen pregnancy.

WRONG! Getting pregnant is no longer the worst cases scenario for a teenage girl. The worst case scenario for this 12 yo is contacting HIV. It is the number 1 cause of death in young adults age 25 in african american women. The usual age when they are contacting HIV is as a teenager.

I mean no disrespect to your friend who I am sure is doing a wonderfuljob raising her daughter but most of the confounding problems I have seen (and this may not be your friend's issue) have been related to parents inability/unwillingness to have frank and open discussions with their children about sex and STD's. Your friend has so much hind site knowledge to impart to her daughter and that will be the best weapon she has against peer pressure/ outside influences. To often I have seen parents who are completely clueless about their children's activities ad life choices.

Starting bcp to prevent pregnancy and then leaving the issue alone if her daughter should start having sexual activity is a huge mistake in my opinion because:
1. It does not set a standard of what is acceptable and unacceptable activities. (Having sex at 12 yo is just too young and should not be encouraged - in my opinion)
2. bcp in NO WAY protects against STD'S (most specifically HIV). This will give that young lady a false sense of security that she is PROTECTED. Believe me I work with lots of adolescents and they believe it!
3. This is a perfect opportunity to create a closer more intimate relationship with her 12 yo daughter by sharing her many life experiences with her daughter and establishing a trusting relationship.

Well I know this is a long post so I will stop now. I feel so strongly about this because African american women are dying in droves and it is actually becoming an epidemic and our young women are the ones who are suffering. (we are gettin HIV from our men so we need to protect and take care of ourselves and there is not time like the present to start doing this.

HTH :wub:

713113


Once again, :smil3f72836ee752e:
THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS!