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CHINOIR
10-04-2007, 03:17 PM
Sisters, please bear with me on this one. Its gonna be a long post. Basically I have had a bad day today and it was all because of something that happened at work. Now I'm seriously thinking about taking it to HR, but Im scared it will be the beginning of the end for me at my job. I dont want to be a statistic! Here is the statement I have prepared, tell me if you think I'm going overboard by complaining, or if you think I should change it in any way. Or should I even just keep schtum and maybe keep my job:

This morning I arrived at the office as usual in my usual attire. As I am of AA origin, my hair is a curly afro texture, a normal characteristic of my ethnic background.
As is usual for any female, occasionally I choose to wear my hair in different styles, usually pulled back, very rarely completely free. Today I wore my short afro textured hair in a loose style.
“A” commented upon my entering the office that he liked my hair, as did “K”.
No one else made any other comments that I could hear.
“B” (Head of the department) arrived at his desk at around x.xam, and as I walk past he exclaimed, “What have you done to your hair!” I replied, “nothing, what do you mean.” And he said “It looks different, how do you usually have it? How was it last week?” At this point I was slightly confused as “B” sees my hair every day, but as I had been out of the office for x days I reminded him that I usually wear it tied back or twisted.
“B” then made a comment about “young people today” and said “this generation have different ideas about how they should wear their hair.”
I said to “B” that actually this is how my hair is as a black person and that it is a feature that all black people are born with, and has nothing to do with a “choice”.
I believe that at this point “C” (Head of the X team) called out “She looks like Marsha Hunt!”, at which “B” started laughing. “D” said, “she looks like Beyonce.” I responded I do not look like Beyonce, and who is Marsha Hunt? “C” said it was Mick Jagger’s girlfriend in the 70s. Then “B” proceeded to “Google” Marsha Hunt, and when a picture appeared of a black woman with afro hair he and “C” were laughing as though the image were hilarious. I looked at the image for myself and asked what was so funny. I said “it’s a woman with an afro, what is so funny about that?”
They continued laughing and “B” then proceeded to print out a copy of the picture he had found and held it up for everyone to look at. Several people were laughing. He then said, “We need a bigger one, how can we get a bigger one? How can we make this picture bigger?”
I asked why they found it so funny, and said that that is how black people’s hair is, it is a normal ethnic feature that comes with being black. I asked why they found the image so comedic, because my hair and every black person’s hair is basically the same. I said that I did not think it was anything to laugh about.
“C” then produced a large print out of the picture of the woman with an afro and they brought the pictures around to where I sit holding them up and saying it looked like me. I said it did not and at this point could not see why this all of this was necessary.
During this “C” said something along the lines of “isn’t that coming back now, isn’t that how the guys are starting to wear their hair now?” I assume he was referring to black men. I said I didn’t know but afro hair is not anything that is “coming back”, it isn’t a fashion style or statement, this just happens to be how black people’s hair looks like, this is how it grows out of our head.
“B” then held the picture up against the wall nearest to me and said “we need to stick this up here, we should get a picture of you like this to replace the company logo on the wall over there” (referring to the logo on the wall opposite me).
“D” looked at me from across her desk and said “Go to HR.”
By this point I had become steadily upset as I could not believe what was happening. My manager, “E”, who was present during the earlier part of the episode had also said nothing in my defense or tried to stop it.
I had a meeting so I left the office and proceeded to the meeting alone very upset. It was clear to the team members present that by this point I was upset and offended.
I went up to the training session, and “E” arrived after me. She said she had been to the bathroom and didn’t realize I had left for training because when she got back to her desk I had gone.
During the earlier part of my training session I could not focus, I was very upset, but pushed the incident aside in order to focus on the training.
After the training session ended 2 hours later, before I re-entered the office, “E” asked if she could have a word with me and asked me how I had felt about what had gone on earlier. I told her in no uncertain terms that I was very upset by the incident and could not believe that it had taken place. I said that I was shocked by things being taken as far as printing out images of a black woman with afro hair and laughing at it, which I could only interpret as a negative response or view to my own hair and ethnicity. I told “E” that I was shocked that this behavior had come from a manager and also the Head of the department, who if anything should be demonstrating exemplary behavior instead of ignorant and outright offensive behavior. It was a shock to me that the Head of the department could not see that his behavior had crossed the line in terms of propriety, and that he was prepared to behave like this in front of the entire team. In all honesty today I lost confidence in some members of management in their ability to behave as managers ought, and lost my confidence in the ability to view them as people able, willing and trusted to make objective judgements, and to take appropriate actions in circumstances where I as a subordinate might have a genuine work-environment related concern. “E” agreed that the behavior of “B” and “C” had been inappropriate and that they had gone too far, and said that she herself did not say anything at the time because she was unsure what to do – whether she should say something or try to intervene. I told “E” that I would like to speak to “B”, possibly over lunch today. “E” said that this was not necessary, and that she would talk to him herself as she had a meeting with “B” in the afternoon, and that she believed that “B” had realized I was upset. I told her this was fine but that I would like to speak to “B” because I wanted to make it clear to him that I was not happy and why. “B” said that she would tell “B” during the meeting that I wanted to speak with him.
When I returned to my desk, and for the rest of the day, the morning’s events were not mentioned by anyone in the team, nor did I receive an apology.
At the end of the day “B” requested that I meet him in an office to talk. “B” apologized for his behavior and said that he did not realize that I would have been upset by what had gone on, but only realized this when I “stormed off”. I explained to “B” that I did not “storm off”, I had a meeting to go to and was indeed upset by what had taken place. I could not believe that grown men and superiors were behaving in this way. “B” said that he did not realize I was as upset as I was because he thought I was going along with it and then I “suddenly” became upset and “stormed off”. This was not the case. I was embarrassed and upset throughout the event but because I was in a professional environment and did not want to appear emotional, because I couldn’t believe what was going on was actually happening, and because I am not given to outbursts I did try to remain calm throughout, wanting to give my colleagues the benefit of the doubt. However, as they continued with their laughter and comments, and as the sheer inappropriateness of the whole situation became impossible to ignore, I was unable to remain in the presence of my team mates in a composed state, and left the office to proceed to the impending training session. Although I really wanted to, I could not ignore the fact that it was not, and I did not feel, ok. “B” told me that he was joking and that he did not think that I would get upset or take offense because I am “quite laid back”. I noted that if he believes this that was all the more reason why my upset should have indicated that what was going on was wrong, and with the printouts it went beyond jokes. Indeed I have never experienced any joke talk appertaining to such things, and especially not in a work environment. I told “B” that as a senior member of management, surely he can recognize what is and isn’t appropriate.
I am not given to making hasty decisions or judgements, and have had had a lot of time to think about the morning’s events. I have come to the conclusion that I need to make the company aware of what took place today.
Many employees at x and within the x team wear their hair both tied back and in loose styles that are as appropriate for the environment as my own, and these occasions go by without incident. I could not see why the fact that I had chosen to do the same was met with a circus. I am convinced that were it not for the difference in my hair texture, different only as an identifying feature of my ethnicity, the event would have been as “noted” as it was. Instead, attention was drawn to my difference in a drawn-out, un-warranted and inappropriate manner, and I was made to feel embarrassed about my difference.
Please understand and note that I thoroughly enjoy being a part of x. I enjoy my job, the team and my role. I want to progress here. I would not in any way want to bring the company or any of its people into disrepute. This is why it is actually difficult for me to have to do this. I want to remain at x but I think it is important that what happened today is noted. At this stage I am not asking that this be taken any further, but rather noted and monitored, because this kind of behaviour cannot, should not be ignored.
May I ask that this communication be kept confidential, as I am concerned that awareness that such a communication has been made may prove detrimental to my time at x.

So what do you guys think? Please respond I'm really nervous..... :crying: :crying: :crying:

Claire76
10-04-2007, 03:51 PM
First thoughts:

I wouldn't have wanted to speak with B alone. Or C.

<strike>I would have probably reported them to a superior.</strike>*

The people you spoke of need to be disciplined.

I&#39;m sorry you had to deal with this today. :(

*Edited because I missed your mention of a letter--I don&#39;t always follow longer posts very closely.

mrstiff
10-04-2007, 03:56 PM
I think your letter sounds very appropriate and well spoken, not very dramatic or emotional, but clearly concerned. You are taking the right actions and should proceed. It is HR&#39;s job to make sure that the company is providing a secure and comfortable work environment for everyone and this situation is defintely one that needs to be addressed. Good luck sis.

Hadasah
10-04-2007, 04:13 PM
I&#39;m so sorry that you had to go through with this. :(
I&#39;ll pray for you.

icanfly7
10-04-2007, 04:44 PM
damn sis,
people can be sooo stupid sometimes. i hope you&#39;re ok and that this turns out as well as it should. I hope that you report this to B and C&#39;s supervisors, they deserve it. no one should have to feel like they&#39;re being made into a joke and no one should make deragatory comments about your beauty, esp in an office situation!!!

ashleyisthe1
10-04-2007, 04:47 PM
I don&#39;t think you&#39;re being dramatic. It&#39;s obvious that these people are inconsiderate, disrespectful and downright rude. Maybe I&#39;m being dramatic, but this falls in the same category of making fun of someone who wears a turbin to work because of religious beliefs...and that kind of behavior would not be overlooked.
You are right to go the HR.

Also, if this is beginning of the end of your job, then you don&#39;t need to work there anyway. You deserve to be in an environment where diversity is accepted and embraced--not laughed at.

EthioIrish
10-04-2007, 04:55 PM
I am sorry you had to go through that. You should definitely send that letter to HR. Your letter is very well written and professional, and I don&#39;t think it is too emotional, it is written very matter-of-factly.
BTW, if they fire you because you stuck up for yourself, can&#39;t you sue them?

Sending best wishes and positive energy your way...

knickld
10-04-2007, 05:09 PM
I don&#39;t think you&#39;re being dramatic. It&#39;s obvious that these people are inconsiderate, disrespectful and downright rude. Maybe I&#39;m being dramatic, but this falls in the same category of making fun of someone who wears a turbin to work because of religious beliefs...and that kind of behavior would not be overlooked.
You are right to go the HR.

Also, if this is beginning of the end of your job, then you don&#39;t need to work there anyway. You deserve to be in an environment where diversity is accepted and embraced--not laughed at.
[/b]



I agree... I am constantly appalled with the fact that to the best of my knowledge, NO other race of people endure the crap that WE must endure just to wear our hair naturally!! :Angry:

tuzor
10-04-2007, 05:41 PM
I am outraged. :soapbox: :soapbox: :soapbox: :Angry: :Angry: :Angry: Why must they make a spectacle of you Chinoir. I would have been crying. Yes definitely take it up with hr. Keep the pictures that were made make copies and I would submit those things as well. with your letter to HR. I would not talk to those members of the team by myself because I dont know what I would say. Good luck I hope your HR takes this seriously and does the right thing.

JustAnotherNappyGirl
10-04-2007, 05:41 PM
BTW, if they fire you because you stuck up for yourself, can&#39;t you sue them?[/b]

Yes! This is no different from mocking an Asian person for their unique eye-shape. The texture of our hair is a racial characteristic and whatever people feel about it privately, it is not fair game for ridicule in the workplace. You should not let this drop.

daisy14
10-04-2007, 05:52 PM
I&#39;m sorry that this happened to you, no-one should ever experience this sort of unprofessional and ignorant behavior. I would definitley take this to HR. I am positive that you can take legal action this is a form of discrimination. There are other companies that have diversity and many of those are fortune 500 companies and they are always looking for people that are great workers without judgment to you or your hair. At least you are standing up for yourself and the truth will set you free. I wish you the best and keep us updated, stay strong.

nappy_crown
10-04-2007, 06:10 PM
I&#39;d be on the FIRST thing smoking to HR. That was competely uncalled for. I hope that you get this situation resolved!

GoodT
10-04-2007, 06:37 PM
*gasp* They said you look like her??
http://i122.photobucket.com/albums/o261/desiresupreme/lichfield.jpg
ma&#39;am... I would have been like, "Thankyou!!! *two snaps and a circle!!*" LOL :lol:

But on a serious tip, it was very negligent of the management at your job to disregard your complaints. And it was very immature of your coworkers to clown like that... I would definitely go to HR and comlplain... A similar situation happened to me at my job (and it actually came from my general manager; she was the one making derogatory comment!!) I sat her down and said, "Please do NOT speak about my hair ever again!! I was felt very offended and disrespected by what you said, and if I hear one more comment about my hair, I will leave this place so fast, it will make your head swim!!" She cooled out after that because I&#39;m the best worker she has... but mos def let your voice be heard and let them know that disrespect will NOT be tolerated... I understand that you like your job, but if they can&#39;t respect you, maybe that&#39;s not where you need to be...

cher79
10-04-2007, 07:22 PM
I&#39;m sorry this happened to you. I definitely think you should report this to HR. The other employees&#39; behavior was rude and totally unnecessary. What really gets me is that your manager didn&#39;t step in and tell the other employees to stop ridiculing you, and then she finally asks you how you felt AFTER all the mess went down. And that guy that started it, "B" :Angry: ...he sounds full of ish, talking about he didn&#39;t know you were insulted until you walked away. If he had any sense, he wouldn&#39;t have started ragging on you in the first place. And he had the nerve to say he thought you were "going along with it"; no you weren&#39;t, because you kept telling him that there was nothing wrong with your hair and Black people have Afro-textured hair. Sounds like he was just being an azz and not wanting to take responsibility for what he did.

Handle your business and report them. You don&#39;t deserve that.

*~Poohbear~*
10-04-2007, 07:46 PM
*gasp* They said you look like her??
http://i122.photobucket.com/albums/o261/desiresupreme/lichfield.jpg
ma&#39;am... I would have been like, "Thankyou!!! *two snaps and a circle!!*" LOL :lol:
[/b]
Me too! I didn&#39;t know who Marsha Hunt was either until I googled her a few minutes ago. She&#39;s absolutely beautiful!

When I was reading your story, I pictured myself in your shoes at the moment. I would have felt very disturbed by the constant laughing they were doing. I applaud you for keeping your composure. I can&#39;t believe you went through this stupidity at your company. If you truly like working there, I hope you can regain your comfort and positive energy. That was so wrong of them to make fun of afro textured hair... very ignorant, inappropriate, and unprofessional. Is there a company policy about making insults of that nature? PLEASE send in a complaint ASAP! Human Resources surely needs to be aware of this.

bebedee
10-04-2007, 07:55 PM
I find this episode to be no different that if a woman&#39;s breasts were being compared to an online pic and joked about by male peers. If you felt threatened/embarrassed/humiliated/uncomfortable, then your management was creating a hostile work environment and that is against the law. It doesn&#39;t matter if the joke was about T&A or your fro....it was inappropriate. Sounds like your company management is in desperate need of cultural sensitivity training. Your letter documents the situation well and sounds more professional than the behavior you experienced, that&#39;s for sure.

I wish you the best.....

fduhaney
10-04-2007, 08:09 PM
My goodness!!! It amazes me when some people say that this discrimination is not real--this reaffirms that it is. I just hope you continue to wear your fro and take the advice here and report them. This is the expact reason why I think of wearing my nappy tees (but I never do because I don&#39;t want to offend permies that don&#39;t bother me about my naps). When I get the right shirt with the right message I&#39;ll definitely be wearing it. to h*ll with these haters!!!

neolocs
10-04-2007, 08:50 PM
I am very sorry and very angry that you experienced that outrageous ignorance. You handled yourself very well, but I would suggest that HR does more than "note" what happened. That was absolutely uncalled for, and IMO strong action is necessary. I would not let this go with just a letter. I don&#39;t know what your job or your situation is, but a letter kept anonymous by HR and sensitivity training does not change anything.

They would have a hard time with me...I have no respect for people who disrespect me, and I treat them accordingly.

{...and before anyone misunderstands, I did not say act unprofessionally....}

ETA:

Other thoughts:
Don&#39;t ever speak with any of the offenders alone about this topic; ALWAYS have a witness present. From this point on, keep notes and evidence of everything regarding this, including the pictures. Depending on what HR does or does not do, and depending on how badly you want to stay there, you may have to fight.

britni
10-04-2007, 08:59 PM
Gosh, what ***holes. I&#39;m so sorry you had to go through this. As I read your story I pictured myself in the situation and I just felt so embarrased and offended. It made me think of my school years when people would just "rag" on me all at one time for no reason. That does not feel good at all. Please notify your HR department to get this taken care of right away. There is simply no excuse for this. Like j.a.n.g. said, this would be no different had they been clowning an Asian for their unique eye shape. I&#39;m sorry you work with a bunch of <strike>childish men</strike> little boys. Good luck, sis.

fduhaney
10-04-2007, 09:17 PM
Had to come back. Next time anything like this happen get spiritual and start jumping around and say "I rebuke you satan in the name of the Lord" at the top of your lungs and maybe they&#39;ll think you are crazy and leave you alone. :lol:
If you can find any other relevant bible verses use them. When you put Jesus in it suddenly alot of people that didn&#39;t have conscience before start having conscience.

cmesweet
10-04-2007, 10:42 PM
From the pictures Marsha Hunt is beautiful, however, their attitude towards you certainly did not make it seem so. Their behavior was extreme and very inconsiderate. Your letter was excellent and professional. I think you are doing the right thing.

Mangachan
10-05-2007, 05:31 AM
I can no belive that some grown people, in a workplace, would do something that stupid. But then again, I can. You have every right to go to HR, that&#39;s why they&#39;re there. If you let a dog crap on your rug and don&#39;t do anything about it, it will keep happening you will be stepping in s*it left and right. they went through alot of trouble to put you on the spot. Handle this so you let them know that behavior is not appropriate.

honeybunch2k5
10-05-2007, 05:35 AM
Do they think they&#39;re in high school, cuz it sho&#39; don&#39;t sound like a bunch of adults? I think you need to contact a superior. I almost wanted to cry reading that story. :( I&#39;m sorry that happened to you!

I do think you could sue if you wanted...

kym4639
10-05-2007, 06:12 AM
First of all, I am so sorry that you had to go through this. Those of us who work in Corporate America all brace ourselves for these kinds of Random Acts of DumbAssery.

I think that you are correct to worry about your future with the company if you address your concerns with Human Resources. Any time stuff like this comes up, it is interpreted as playing some "Get Out of Jail Free" Race Card and sadly, you end up being marked.

As I was reading your story, I was envisioning the same thing happening here at my job. I know exactly who the offending parties would be, and trust, it would have gone down exactly the same way, with the internet search, the enlarged picture, the whole nine. And I honestly don&#39;t know how I would have handled it. Sounds to me like you were able to keep it together & keep it professional. Kudos to you.

If it were me, and I wanted to keep my job & continue to advance at the company, I would probably make the letter/complaint as race neutral as possible. I&#39;m assuming that the HR people are not African Americans here....it&#39;s always easier to get people on board with your offense & outrage when it&#39;s something they can relate to. The mocking of a change in hairstyle (tangible, easy to identify) is something everyone can relate to. The racial element (not easy to identify if you&#39;re a "majority") is not. And these days, it&#39;s extremely divisive. (I can just hear the folks at my job...."Well they joke around with everybody like that")

If you can get to a point where you are willing and able to move on from this company, I think that you can keep the racial element of the letter/complaint.

There is nothing dishonest or over the top about your letter at all. It all makes perfect sense to me (and the others on this thread, obviously). But keep in mind who your audience is here, and who your intended audience is at your workplace, and the potential chain of events that will follow. And get clear with yourself about what you want the outcome to be.

Best of luck. I hope that you will keep us informed about what you decide and how things turn out.

SundayBliss
10-05-2007, 06:25 AM
First of all the woman they said you look like BEAUTIFUL, as I&#39;m sure you are!
I can not believe that they printed out pictures of her, and made a whole big scene out of it!
I am so sorry you had to endure that kind of blatant racism, and i def. think you are doing the RIGHT thing!

mwedzi
10-05-2007, 06:36 AM
I don&#39;t have much to say that others haven&#39;t said but I wanted to say that I&#39;m sorry this had to happen to you. I admit to not knowing much about the corporate workplace, but I wouldn&#39;t try to make it seem that it isn&#39;t about race when it clearly is. Why downplay the truth? It&#39;s not just a hairstyle choice, because some hairstyles are legitimately inappropriate for work and I think making it look like that&#39;s all it is makes your claim against bias less valid. You are right, you did nothing more than wear your natural texture, the texture of black people, in no way different from people with other textures wear their hair. It&#39;s precisely because your hair is the natural texture of black people that you were mocked and I don&#39;t think it should be hidden. Pretending that it&#39;s not is exactly what allows lots of people to think racism doesn&#39;t exist.

Again, I&#39;m sorry. :hug:

kym4639
10-05-2007, 06:53 AM
I just shared this post with a Black lady who is in HR here at my job. She suggests that you speak to the picture printers directly and privately about how their actions made you feel.

Again, good luck with this.

LilShortRib
10-05-2007, 08:49 AM
First of all the woman they said you look like BEAUTIFUL, as I&#39;m sure you are!
I can not believe that they printed out pictures of her, and made a whole big scene out of it!
I am so sorry you had to endure that kind of blatant racism, and i def. think you are doing the RIGHT thing!
[/b]
ITA with everything said above.

I just want to warn you, however, for whatever backlash that may arise from this foolishness... Even though approprate actions are taken, some people still don&#39;t stop acting like idiots... Good luck to you...

CHINOIR
10-05-2007, 01:01 PM
Hi guys, thanks a bunch for your support. You guys gave me the courage to go and do something about this. This morning I went straight to the head HR person and gave her a printed copy of my statement. I specifically didnt give her an electronic copy because I didnt know if I could trust her not to mail it on.

2 hours later she arranged a meeting with me and I asked her if she had read it and what she thought. She said that what mattered was what I thought and whether I thought "B" was a racist. I said that I did not think that he was necessarily racist, but that his actions were racially motivated. I.e. if it were not for my race I would not have had to experince what I did yesterday.

She said that she wanted to know what I intended to do, and what I wanted them to do about it because my statement says I dont want to take it further. I told her that I wanted the day&#39;s events to be noted because it is behaviour which should not have any place in the company, and that they needed to know that it was going on, because if anything else should happen I didnt want it to be said that they did not know, or had no inkling that the guy was prone to and offensive behaviour, whether that plays itself out racially or otherwise with myself or anybody else.

She said that she would speak to him and I told her that I specifically did not want her to, because as I said in my statement I was pretty sure he would not respond graciously. I told her I had already made my feelings known to him personally, and that if they approached him directly he would most likely thing it was turning into something "career-changing" and who knew what could happen from then....?

So she said well I can speak to "C". I said no, thats ok, I will speak to him myself and I will not want to make anything big out of it when I don because again I dont want any of this from the rest of the team :pop: :pop: :pop: :pop: :pop:

She then said ok, but privately I&#39;m thinking, have I not made myself clear already?

So she asked me what motivated the meeting and I said that the events tell me that there is something very wrong if management feel they can do something like that in front of a whole bunch of people without any kind of fear or concern. I told her that&#39;s why I believe that it is possible he/they were not necessarily trying to be out and out racist per se, but their behaviour was still a response to my race and nothing else.

So anyway she says that well it was good that I spoke to them and if I have any other concerns to come and speak to her, but this is now all on record. She said that to be honest she is highly impressed by the way I have handled the whole situtation and that id I didnt want to take it further she didnt feel there was anything more she could add at this time.

ANYWAY

Straight after work I get on the phone to call my best friend who is an employment lawyer in another city. She has been going through some crap at work too. She told me that what I did was the best thing I could have done in taking that document to HR, because now if that guy or my manager (who has been acting suss for a while anyway) try anything at all in terms of trying to fire me or anything between, I can sue the firm for racial discrimination and other things too.

However she told me (and she knows because she advises corporations all day long on employment issues and knows the tactics they use) to make no bones about it, that same HR lady will have called the company&#39;s lawyers to seek advice to see how they can minimise any hurt to management and the company, and if that means getting rid of me by finding any and I mean any little thing wrong then that is what they will do.

She also said, dont be fooled by what HR may say about just keeping it on record and keeping it confidential - they will tell "B", "C", and my manager "E" too. She said trust me Chinoir, by Monday they will all know what you wrote in that document and what you said to HR, thas if they dont already. She said this is how they do it, this is the advice that corporate lawyers give to the company, so she knows they will be following the procedure. It covers their back so they can say they made "B", "C" and "E" aware of the behaviour.

But she said, have no doubt, your career there now is finished, because if they werent trying to get rid of you before, they sure will now. And even if they try to let you stay so as not to rock the boat so you dont sue them your life there will be uncomfortable, you van forget promotion, and your relationship with them will be fake every day as they will simply have to make dmn sure they are nice to you so you dont sue.

She said that I have 3 months from today now in which to make any claim so I can either wait it out if I wanna stay at the company a bit longer for the resume&#39;s sake, and sue once I leave or once they push me out. But I will have only 3 months because after that I cant make a claim anymore.

She also said that right now it woudnt be good for them to try to get rd of me until my 3 months is up. So they would try all that after.

HOWEVER, they may try to get rid of me sooner than that ie in the next month or so, as after that period I will have been with the company long enough to be able to sue them for unfair dismissal should they try to get rid of me after I gain those rights through length of service.

She says though, that I should now take daily notes if anyone appears to be treating me differently because of the fact that I have been to HR, or for any other reason, as this will all build up my claim.

So there it is guys, I cant believe it. I really cannot. So my career is finished now?? I just cant believe it this is absolutely awful. My friend says if I wanted to I could leave tomorrow and tell them I wanted to negotiate a package to leave quietly for some cash and a blazing reference. She said they might even decide to offer that to me at any time right now.

I cant believe it could end like this, I really cannot. :(

I am gonna pray about it and start applying for jobs elsewhere now, and just hope to goodness that the next place I go to is a lot better than this one.

I will keep you guys updated. Once again thanks for your support, and I pray none of you have to go through this just for pointing out that the emperor has no clothes.........

Chidelia
10-05-2007, 01:15 PM
You are so strong, and I am so proud of you for handling this the way that you have.
It&#39;s not right, it&#39;s not fair, and unfortunately you&#39;ll have to make the choice as to whether you will continue to work and make money for a firm who not only condones such behaviour, but then blames the victim, however subtly.
If you don&#39;t mind my asking, what city do you work in? I know that things like this happen all over America, but I know that some states are much more "sue/liability-concious" than others.

Just know that because you have maintained grace throughout this process, something wonderful will inevitably happen as a result. You just have to truly believe that it will.

Much Luv.

CHINOIR
10-05-2007, 02:27 PM
You are so strong, and I am so proud of you for handling this the way that you have.
It&#39;s not right, it&#39;s not fair, and unfortunately you&#39;ll have to make the choice as to whether you will continue to work and make money for a firm who not only condones such behaviour, but then blames the victim, however subtly.
If you don&#39;t mind my asking, what city do you work in? I know that things like this happen all over America, but I know that some states are much more "sue/liability-concious" than others.

Just know that because you have maintained grace throughout this process, something wonderful will inevitably happen as a result. You just have to truly believe that it will.

Much Luv.
[/b]

Hi, thank you for your kind words. I am actually not in the US but in England, where I hear racism is a lot more subtle, but it sure wasnt that day! If anything Im lucky it was so outright because it is undeniable, there is no if but or maybe about it.

I have to say though, that after this, I REFUSE to straighten my hair and I will wear it as God gave it to me. How dare they?? I was never political about it before but now I truly truly understand how powerful our hair is. To me it was just hair, and I thought as many people on this board have said that it was just hair to others, but obviously not.

The world is so ugly......... :(

neolocs
10-06-2007, 04:01 AM
:( Yes, the world is ugly, and racism is still racism in all its manifestations. Unfortunately we all have personal experience with ugliness; human nature is the same worldwide. Your friend&#39;s advice is dead on. You will definitely have to watch your back until you leave that place.

Good luck with your search, and I hope you are blessed at your new job.

crmycoco
10-22-2007, 10:50 AM
The lesson learned here is to SPEAK UP the second somebody does or says something to you you find offensive at the work place. If they do not cease and desist, then immediately go to HR. Discriminatory practices are not tolerated in the work place. No need for you to spend your entire day upset and unfocused. Let the other person squirm with the fear of reprimand. HR is there to protect, not admonish, you.

Thing is, there are people, white, black, and all in between, who think "risque" humor is okay, and if you don&#39;t stand up and immediately voice your concerns, well, things will go too far as you have just experienced.