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Justice
10-27-2007, 04:41 PM
Hey guys! Today as I was browsing the web I saw an ad for 'African Ancestry'...it was interesting but expensive. Anyway, I signed up on Geni.com and started working on my family tree but then I realized just how little I know :( For example, I know that my (maternal) grandmother has 5 children, but she was only married to the father of her middle 3 kids. I have no idea who the other 2 guys were. And my (maternal) great-grandmother had 11 kids and I have no idea who fathered who. Recently, there was a conversation about how confused they (my grandmother and her siblings) were growing up...they just assumed that whoever my great-gran was married to (or with) at the time was their dad. How do I approach my grandmother about these things? As long I've known her, she's rarely talked about her marriage (it was an abusive one) and I've never heard her mention the other 2 guys. I just don't want to maker her feel uncomfortable.

In addition to that, I have serious issues with my father's side of the family. Like others in this forum I didn't grow up really knowing my father...up until the age of 12 I was led to believe someone else was my father. I saw this man 2 months before I turned 13, the month I turned 13, and didn't hear from him again until I was a sophmore in college, living 30 minutes away from him (and his wife and kids). The only thing I know about him is his name (sort of)...I have no idea what his birthday is, who his mother is, nothing. How in the world am I going to find out this stuff? I really want to make a family tree but I don't know anything! I guess I'm feeling a bit discouraged...just seeking a little advice.

Thanks for reading :)

gr2006
11-26-2007, 01:16 PM
I can't help at all cause i'm basically in the same boat as you, not from the missing father standpoint but other key relatives are unknown/missing/conveniently :huh: left out of the family tree. :(

:hug: :hug: and :wub: to you sis.

PrincessDrRe
12-14-2007, 06:23 PM
You will also have that bit of family that don't want to be known...

I feel ya pain....

roarkmartinez1965
01-29-2008, 07:44 PM
You will also have that bit of family that don't want to be known...

I feel ya pain....
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Greetings ladies, I recently found the link to geni.com and started working on my family tree again. I understand that you may be a bit uncomfortable asking other relatives for information, but realize that if you do not ask the "hard and difficult" questions now you may never have the opportunity to fill in those gaps. Of course we are apt to discover or turn over some stones that we may wish we had not, but do you want a tree that will be accurate or something built on lies? You gotta ask yourself this???

When people have questioned me why am I bothering, I tell them it is for my children and my grand children and their children and so on....

This has not been an easy road for me to travel so many of my family who have this information has passed on and I am left with one source and I have to accept whatever they tell me as truth, if I do not do it now (ask the hard and difficult) my children may never make the connections.

Since beginning this project a few days ago, I have acquired 63 names to my tree invited family members to look it over and email me what they see as error for corrections. I have learned that my G maternal grandmother was adopted (who knew that ??), I have boxes of unknown partners and spouses (males) am I ashamed no, I am learning and asking and that is what we must do to make the connections.

My mother and a 1st cousin look so much alike you would swear that they were twins. I called my 1st cousin and asked her why is this? She responded that two sisters had children with two bothers and thus they look alike. I was really expecting something sordid and dirty, but instead I got this fact.

I believe that your Gmom will be happy to share her story with you it is like passing the torch...it keeps the flame burning and that is what we all want, right?