The Opposite Sex and their thoughts about natural hair

**Mangachan** · 06-26-2011, 09:00 PM

Originally Posted by neah1

it's like they dont even want to try to approach you or have a relationship with you if you have natural hair. It really makes me mad because its like they dont except you for you.

That's no big loss. if they don't like you for your hair then let them keep on moving. In addition to this, there are alot of men who do like natural hair. Either way, it's on your head so as long as you like it who cares about them? It's not like you're committing a sin by wearing your God given hair.

**GalaxyGirl2012** · 06-26-2011, 10:31 PM

Originally Posted by neah1

So I recently text my boyfriend and we were having a conversation. So I mentioned my hair and asked do you like me wearing my natural hair. His response is: "yeah, but I think you should wear it straight because straight hair is a big turn on." First off why is that boys and men find that straight hair is better. it's like they dont even want to try to approach you or have a relationship with you if you have natural hair. It really makes me mad because its like they dont except you for you. It would be nice if he would have said I love your hair no matter how you wear it.

you're young so you havent quite learned yet that you shouldnt ask people questions if you aren't prepared to hear an answer you don't like. also there's no need to get angry at him for having his opinions, especially if he isn't being a jerk to you and telling you these things without you asking him.. he doesnt sound shallow, just honest. the very first time i BCed my boyfriend at the time HATED it. i went from hair past my shoulders to a TTTWA. he was a good guy and I knew he hated it but he never told me. the only thing he said was "well at least now i can see your pretty face better"

oftentimes guys don't like change at first but if he likes you then he'll get used to it

**siennamoonshine** · 07-08-2011, 04:15 AM

Young men/ Men have been watching the same relaxer ads and heard the women in their circle speak about problems associated with styling natural hair; many probably along the lines of keeping naturally kinky hair straight. They are as brainwashed as we were and very much guided by the vast media campaign that sweeps more euro-centered cultures and endeavors to promote the idea that straighter is better.

As you are transitioning, try to speak of your hair and your discoveries in a positive light. Help your bf see that this change is positive, not only for your physical appearance, but for your psychological makeup, and most likely, your wallet as well. He may also appreciate the fact that it doesn't take nearly as long for you to style your hair, and that you are not a slave to the whims of a salon stylist, who might take hours to give you a relaxer.

If he genuinely cares about you, and not just the physical, he will come around. If not, the sooner you know about it, the better. Young men are often led by their attraction to physical. The ability to appreciate all the aspects of a particular woman may come later or sadly, in the case of many, not at all.

**cate#13** · 07-31-2011, 01:39 AM

I too think that mature and diverse black men appreciate natural hair.

**theheiressof** · 08-24-2011, 03:28 AM

A lot of my college guy friends think natural hair is extremely sexy. But they like natural hair with some legnth to it. None that I know of are too fond of TWAs. My boyfriend wishes that I wouldve transitioned for like a year to get some legnth first, but he loves me all the same, and he's 19. I find that highschool boys are very immature and closed minded. They just want a "long hair, thick, redbone" for lack of a better phrase. *shrugs* All I have to say about that is if a guy is shallow enough to make a decision on whether or not he wants to be with you because of the hairs on your head you need to keep it moving darling, cuz he's not worth your time anyway.

**ThePrototypeEve** · 09-03-2011, 10:50 PM

Simply I feel like if he doesn't like natural hair then he's not for me. I do my best to avoid the guys that have that "longhaired thick redbone" mentality. Appreciate me or leave.

**MiyaTeresa** · 10-27-2011, 09:39 PM

I guess like with everything it depends on the person. I have never had a perm or relaxer it my hair, sometimes I get it blowdryed and straightened but otherwise I wear it like this. My bf likes my hair straight, but LOVES it natural. He's not black though, he's puertorican but I've had black guys and girls compliment my natural hair.

**Nya2011** · 11-13-2011, 09:45 AM

I am blessed to say that my boyfriend is very excited to see my hair natural. He also tells me that I look beautiful in anything so I can't complain. However I am aware that for some reason or not men tend to have issues with natural hair (at least in the area I've been raised in) Even though I know my boyfriend won't mind I'm scared as to what other's will think in general and how people will react to me. I am hispanic and live in a predominantly hispanic community so I feel as though that will make it even harder :s I've been ridiculed about my hair many times growing up (so much that I used to pull it out when I was little) and it was always BOYS. I have had to find the essence of my own beauty and not allow peoples remarks to affect me...and I won't lie it hasn't been easy :s

I think the media plays a BIG role in what men find beautiful. The media (of course) is extremely euro-centric and that obviously doesn't work in our favor.

**xrecreatex** · 11-25-2011, 03:55 AM

To be honest, I really think it depends on the person...in addition, if someone is really into you, they will love you regardless of what hairstyle you rock. However, there does tend to be this Eurocentric-like trend where a lot of guys associate beauty with straight hair...ugh, whatever.

But anyway, there are a lot of guys who are fine with, or even prefer women with natural hair. It all depends on the individual. My boyfriend is from Germany (he moved to the US a few years ago) and he loves natural hair. One time I mentioned straightening my hair. I wasn't planning on doing it because I love my hair curly and I don't want heat damage, but I wanted to see what he'd react to the proposition. He basically told me he loves my hair the way it is and he saw no need for me to change it.

Basically, regardless of what some people don't like or prefer, know your hair is beautiful. As long as you love it, nothing else matters.

**Precious Curls** · 11-27-2011, 12:24 AM

I think males, especially black males, have been raised in our society to believe that women with straight, long hair are the most beautiful and the most acceptable. My bf loves my natural hair, has loved it from the start, and compliments it often. I'm happy about that. But I realize that not every man will be that way, or at least, not be that way immediately. I have learned, in the 2+ years of being natural, that being inspired by seeing many natural hair photos, styles, etc. has made me truly appreciate its beauty. To me, my natural hair is what makes me unique, and I am happy that my bf finds me more unique with my natural hair. However, I did not always realize how beautiful my hair truly was. It took me some time, and some visual inspiration, to realize it. That being said, I think you should give your bf some time to fully appreciate your natural hair. If he hasn't seen natural hair enough to know its true beauty, that might be why he doesn't see it as a "turn on." I don't think he meant any harm by saying what he said. I just think he can't appreciate it yet because he might not have seen enough of it. Show him how versatile natural hair is. Rock different styles. Prove to him that your natural hair is as sexy as can be!