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  1. #61
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    OP---by who's standards? I'm referring to the original post. Who is judging a person's transition and why does their opinion matter? There are no absolutes. People should transition to natural in a way that makes them comfortable. No one gave me a metal when I big chopped.

    Know what you are getting into and do what works for you. If your goal at the end is a thriving head of natural hair, take note and apply what it takes to get there. If your goal is mastery of your hair do what makes the most sense for you.
    Nappy hair isn't burdensome. Dispel the myths early--blogging nappy hair care for girls.
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  3. #62
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    I don't agree with the whole cheating theory. I transitioned for 20 months before going completely natural. I cut off my permed ends in April and began my starter locs.

    I have always had alot of hair on my head since I was a child and I just could not see myself with a short do or a TWA. I have always been into having healthy hair even when I was relaxing. When I decided to stop perming, I knew I wanted locs and I wanted my hair to be a certain length before starting my locs. So I patiently transitioned for a year and a half. In April I just was done with having two textures and went to my stylist to chop the ends off.

    Bottom line it was my preference to do a long term transition, it had nothing to do with faking or posing or wanting to hold on to some straggly ends (which really don't look good next to natural texture). I think everyone should be allowed to go through the journey they way she sees fit.
    Loc'ed and Lovely!

  4. #63
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    o_O at the title. Come on now mann.
    Mango Smoothie...try one.

  5. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by KoilyLocGirl View Post
    I don't understand what the issue or contention is. As has been stated a few times in this thread already there is a difference between going natural and being natural. If I get in a car to drive from Miami to Los Angeles, fill my car with gas and get on the interstate, and start heading west to LA, I am going to Los Angeles. Once I have reached LA I am no longer going, I have gone. Now I could take a circuitous route by car, or jump on a plane and be there in a few hours. Either way the journey leads to the same place.

    Somebody walking around with permed ends is NOT natural. They are transitioning (either that or they can't afford a perm). Someone who does a BC and cuts off all permed hair is natural. Again, they are not one and the same thing but the end result, whether it takes minutes or months, leads to the same place.

    While the English language can be a little convoluted, for those of us for whom the English language is our first tongue, it shouldn't be that difficult. The question is Not is transitioning cheating when gone natural?

    Opinions are just that, opinions. But honestly folks, sometimes some opinions are just wrong. The question answers itself.

    Perhaps a better question would be if it's easier, harder, more indicative of a reluctance to let society's idea of beauty go or some such thing. With these questions I could understand the differing opinions but I digress......
    Done & Done. End of story.


    Saying that transitioning would be cheating would imply that there is some kind of route/process/challenge to be cheated. If someone thinks it IS cheating, I'm curious to know what exactly they think that person is cheating on.

    The only thing I can think of is that a transitioner is cheating to retain length. I could see that argument, but still wouldn't call it "cheating" per se. BUT even that would only apply if length is what you think is the important aspect of going or being natural.

    "Oh, look at her, transitioning with her 8 inch hair, while I'm rocking a TWA. She's totally a cheater"

    ^ whaaat.

    Also, a transitioner is a transitioner is a transitioner. Yes. agreed. But I don't think that's the question being asked in this particular thread. I'm sure there are transitioners that have said "I'm natural", some but not all. But does being a transitioner mean you can't claim any kind of naturality, that you are going natural. And where is the line drawn here? How long of a transition are we talking about? Do we also discount naturals who wear weaves or wigs, some or all of the time? What are the requirements, who is invited to this exclusive natural party?

  6. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmirahJasmine View Post
    I don't think it's cheating. Everyone has to start their journey somewhere, and each journey is unique. Whether you hold on to the training wheels (which is what i did) or just have the courage to jump straight in with no inhibitions (Which I did not), it's all a unique journey to you and you alone. Some of us have to crawl before we walk. Some skip crawling and walking and go straight to running! LOL

    You can build a strong foundation by transitioning, because you still learn about your hair in various stages. You learn about the different textures, and patience is a big lesson you learn when you transition. I would hate to chop it all off and end up hating how short my hair was. Why put myself through that? Some people need to take it slow, and take the time to transition their mind along with their hair. When some people jump straight into the BC (which I also think is the start to a beautiful journey) they leave themselves with no other choice but to accept what they have (if they haven't already done so) Would you rather have someone feel insecure because they bc'd, and put in braid extentsions because they were uncomfortable? or have someone transition and love their hair, whether is was shorter or longer, and not go for that option, because they took the time?

    In the end, there are two types of people (there may be more! LOL)
    -The women who choose to transition before they bc
    -The women who choose not to transition before

    Both of these types have completely different journies, and it's selfish to say it's cheating, because that just tells me that someone thinks my journey during my transition wasn't as important, significant, or inspiring as theirs.

    In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with either choice. But i don't beleive transitioning is cheating.
    Sorry for the long rant. :P

    I was getting ready to type the SAME THING, but said heck, she took the words right out of my mouth. this described my journey to the "T" no 2 journies are the same....

  7. #66
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    Transitioning is not cheating it just allows you time to consider your choice on what journey you will take.

  8. #67
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    If I transitioned for a whole year and cut my hair off I would still have a TWA with shrinkage because 6 inches with my hair will look like 2 inches in a wash n go. Cheating implies faking a correct ending and at the end if the day if a person is without chemicals and has there God given texture they are natural. This thread has me loling all the way to a dead horse.
    Last Time Flat Ironing mid-April 2010
    Big Chopmid-June 2010~have not looked back since.

  9. #68
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    I don't think the process of transitioning to natural should be considered as cheating. Not everyone can do the Big Chop.

    Transitioning involves more than the hair - it involves the mind and sometimes it takes a long while before the mind is transitioned (sometimes the hair is transitioned before the mind). We've been indoctrinated into believing straight hair is better than ours and un-brainwashing ourselves is just as important, if not more important, than transitioning the hair itself.

    Some women have gone back to straightening after going natural and being natural and unstraightened for a long while , but still retain their unbrainwashed minds. Those women know the truth.

    ~Dee~
    "The truth is, your natural hair, in all its texture, is the hair that is ideal for YOU. As long as you are constantly striving to get what someone else has naturally, you will not be able to recognize the beauty in what you already have."
    ~Dee~

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  11. #69
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    I never understood why people looked down on transitioning so much. It's not cheating at all. It's a process and it takes some longer than others to get there. There's no shame in that.

  12. #70
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    Default Are you cheating yourself during and/or by "transitioning"?

    Note: This is comparatively a very long "post".

    Are you keeping your hair because you've accepted that you can't be as gorgeous without long(er) hair or are you rather avoiding the repercussions of being unacceptably nappy in your home, working, and/or social environment or even perhaps not being familiar with short hair? There's a difference and I think we can cheat and lose sight of ourselves rather than figure out how to concurrently get to our destination with the least external conflict (particularly given the social onslaught against the natural aesthetics and disobedience of Blacked females).

    There can be a desire for less upheaval and stress whether or not someone wants to buck against labels of militancy, rebellion (against beauty standards and normative assimilation), and the counter-conformity of being a particular brand of "different" and/or "authentic". To a certain extent, I recognized as I began and during my transition how and when I could be cheating myself.

    There were instances in which I sought insight and I was rather offered assurances that I would feel better if I big chopped. I offered insight, not as a defense but rather to share where I was coming from to help them focus on helping me get closer to where I wanted to be, into the unsanitary and incompetent barbering of "black" and "white" unisex shops respectively.

    I felt uncomfortable and recognized potential paths of less resistance and/or more acceptance. However, I feel like I was also cognizant that my interest in unbraided, loose, and long nappy hair would potentially be met with even more normative socializing and collective ambivalence otherwise.

    When I did decide to lock during my transition, I did so mindful that I would have preferred to keep my hair loose but not if I'd remain dependent on others for styling (whether long or short haired). Instead of cheating myself, I continued on to purchase mannequins, learn how to style loose hair, attend seminars, share my progress in that regard on NP, and eventually big chopped capable of styling.

    I would have been cheating myself during my transition to stay locked when I didn't really want to be. I also would have been cheating and depriving myself if I didn't pursue skills to make my own transition successful for my own napptural manifestation.

    When I first looked into learning to style, I was using a Barbie or Bratz styling mannequin which had a most massive combover (impeding styling). Unprideful, I kept trying and eventually sought insight and was directed to more appropriate mannequin options. Still, I was laboring about stores and even my home with a set of heads. That's pretty tough to have people see, unless you want them to report you as a suspect for any extremely outlandish deviancy which strikes your community. I could have thrown my hands up, conceding to the absurdity of my path, and looked to what was going to be less "different" but acceptable to whatever others I wanted to exchange intelligence and/or support with.

    I've no doubt that I could have (if I bumped my head first) conceded to a path of less resistance toward hopefully receiving more cooperation and informed criticism in the feedback I did receive. The challenge would have been, as it always is, whether or not I would have become complacent and allow myself to be unduly burdened for the sake of social acceptance and/or that treasured respite (from ignorant criticism) we sometimes crave over any feedback at all.

    Our transitions come with the constant imposition of society's agenda as well as (potentially) the inconsiderate compliments, at times all-knowing intolerance, and well intentions of whatever support systems we have in place (such as NP). By NP standards, perhaps no choice I made that left me appearing to have nappy hair would have compromised my transition, but it is far more mental and emotional (at times and for some) than what is represented and/or assumed of the physical.

    I had a full set of baby locs for about a year before I'd gotten to what became a big chop of my transition. By then, I'd already graduated "socially" from new transitioner to social pariah here. However, I maintained my focus, self-learning, and the brothers and sisters who were able to be patient with me as I got educated and acclimated alike.

    People transition into socializing here and relapse into damaging heat and chemical processes while having added ego or pride into the mix. So, when their "transition" gets tested instead of leveling with the brothers and sisters here, they disappear and blame their social environment. People in this movement seem to, more often that not, dismiss the social acceptance of conforming to ageism by dyeing away grey hair, among other such conformity. That's even in this "more extreme" seeming community within the natural hair movement.

    I can't say with what rarity these other concessions result in full on napptural "relapses" but it does suggest to me that people can and often are cheating their full transition and that it definitely extends beyond the physical and what is currently regarded as a completed transition to accepting our natural hair (as evidenced otherwise when social acceptability is tested in unexpected ways or at socially compromising times).

    In my life, "failing" would have looked like a fellow with very closely shaven hair leaving a barber shop with nasty bumps on the back of his neck and maybe in his beard. I wouldn't speak up to barbers to clean their implements in my presence and/or I'd shrug off my interest in keeping my gorgeous hair as immaturity and/or unmanly.

    There were discernible ways in which I could have prepared myself to embrace short hair (learning to cut and shape my own hair and hairline respectively, for instance). I've nothing particular against that beside my preference to enjoy my features in their fullness and having not invested in the tools to learn those skills without butchering someone's hairline (let alone my own).

    A similar course can be for someone who wants to color their hair (not just to duck away from ageism) without drying out their hair or doing so just to hide greys. Someone else cheating their transition may not be measurable by my own ideals and/or what I regard as the most currently known extremes of "non-judgemental" standards.

    To encapsulate the aforementioned and redress my earlier post, a transition or lack thereof can be cheating, disadvantaging, adversely compromising, and/or depriving someone seeking to "fully" transition and avoid relapses and/or failing to more comprehensively apply the fortitude, logic and lessons which may have been confronted and more safely explored with or without big chopping (among many other options).

    In my initial post within this discussion, I focused on my own transition as someone with abundant self-determination and other conflicts which made this particular journey seem so much easier. I did some unpublished (not my call) interviews when I first began my transition in which I noted my self-assuredness and reflected on how that might be different from what some sisters may be subjected to. As I gain more insight, I've noted correlations whether or not the people who persevere or falter were as focused on their own long-term interests.
    Last edited by Intellexual; 01-16-2013 at 03:45 AM.
    If your import amid discussion is to ridicule, sabotage, and/or dismiss, you will no longer receive the privilege of my attention. Passive aggressive behaviors are a defense mechanism of oppressed and ultimately even self-defeated persons. Disregarding and/or ridiculing the concerns of others doesn't legitimize or address your own. You have betrayed a critical trust I must have in you that you are engaging or asking of me to enhance each of our perspectives rather than ridicule mine or reaffirm your own biases. Express your own concerns and/or support your own ideals. Your antics reek of repression and aren't constructive.

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