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  1. #1
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    Default A sort of "reverse racism (for my lack of a better term)" in this community...

    It seems the tabled have turned in the recent years, and I don't mean that in a positive way. It has seem there is a war progressing in the Black woman community that has made me awkward and, in many ways, extremely upset. In my title I say reverse racism, but what I really mean is nappies has gone from the defensive to the offensive. Externally and internally.

    This saddens me quite a bit because I became natural because I learn the true beauty and the versatility of my hair. As I go on my journey, I notice that little cliques have formed. I hate cliques. One clique is the You're-Not-Natural-Enough Club, the other is the Well-Your-Hair-Isn't-"Nappy Nappy", or the You-SHALL-Bow-Down-To-Our-Standards Naturals. Sadly, we have turned something beautiful into something that is resentful and uninviting. If I weren't nappy today, I wouldn't be nappy tomorrow.

    These forums we join used to be about helping each other out with the lost art of working with our own hair. While most of it is still about that, I see tidbits of (not in exact terms) "what club are you?" and "what pretentious hair regimen do you have?", "how natural are you, more so than others?"

    It's not fair to generalize all nappies into this category of unnecessary war;like myself who doesn't judge others there must be more like me. I just find it disturbing that nappies, new and old, have to ask ''will I still be in the natural club if I do this?''. It's a game where we are no longer using our God-made beauty to express ourselves. It's a game where we can find an excuse to patronize and claim that people who are not like us have self-hatred. It's a game where we blind ourselves to the truth that we once knew....not to fight with our own nature. Truth is, the nature is just not in our hair or our skin, it's within each other. Once we destroy ourselves, what else will we have. Ironically enough, being natural has become "fake" in many ways. Only naturals worry about who's nappy and who isn't.

    We, Latina women and a few Asian women are constantly putting ourselves down, for what cause? So massa keeps us in his highest favor so we may be able to work in the kitchen instead of the field? While I'll continue to be nappy and happy, I will see the beauty in all my women whether they permed, relaxed, texturized, bald, weaved, quick weaved, wigged or nappy. Meanwhile we can work on more important things like breast cancer, education, marriage, success, bring each other up and sisterly love.

    I am done with my mini rant now.

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  3. #2
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    I always think I spend too much time on hair blogs and forums (well, NP) but apparently I don't because I have been reading several versions of this rant elsewhere lately. Most notably I've seen an increase in the use of the phrase "natural hair Nazi" to describe someone who more often than not is merely offering a different opinion. I guess I'm just not seeing where these cliques and "mean girl" groups are...maybe I'm not hanging on the right online street corners.

    That said, the very idea that there is a "Natural Hair Community" (tm) usually gets my back up. The only thing naturals have in common IMO is that we don't use relaxers or relaxer-type chemicals to permanently alter our hair texture. Beyond that...there are no rules. I'm not sure whether there really are groups who are attempting to impose rules on others (but it's the m'fing INTERNET! is someone reaching out from beyond your screen to slap that Blue Magic out of your hand? seriously??) or if certain women are just being hypersensitive because they're either too new at this or they don't have the critical thinking skills needed to take what they can use and leave the rest. It reminds me of the freshman college comp class I taught when I was in graduate school, where I had to explain to 18-year-olds who (presumably) had spent at least four years writing essays in English class that there's a difference between a fact and an opinion and not everything on the Internet should be taken at face value.

    Because everybody's got an opinion, it's disingenuous to believe that we're all going to agree on everything all the time. Let me be clear: I'm not defending outright meanness or hating. But as much as I would love all black women to support each other all the time, the reality is that before we are black, and before we are women, we are HUMAN, and because of that, we are going to have our differences. I don't want, need, or expect people to agree with me all the time. I don't want, need, or expect people to follow my personal hair rules or beliefs either, and I definitely don't feel like I have to conform to some arbitrary standard beyond the one I stated above (what "natural" is).

    Again, maybe I'm just not getting it...maybe my planet is different from everyone else's...
    For 2016: Still keeping it simple...with an occasional surprise here and there...

  4. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by LBellatrix View Post
    I always think I spend too much time on hair blogs and forums (well, NP) but apparently I don't because I have been reading several versions of this rant elsewhere lately. Most notably I've seen an increase in the use of the phrase "natural hair Nazi" to describe someone who more often than not is merely offering a different opinion. I guess I'm just not seeing where these cliques and "mean girl" groups are...maybe I'm not hanging on the right online street corners.
    @ the bolded: To piggyback on this, I don't buy the fact that there are cliques and natural hair "mean girls"...I do say that much of what is posted on the internet [in relation to natural hair] is passed off as factual, which is then picked up by a variety of bloggers/trollers/random folks with the intention of causing dissension among us. It takes a good deal of critical thinking skills to disseminate fact from fiction, and believe that there are too many of us that don't take that necessary time and energy. There's nothing wrong with rational discussion, which brings me to LBell's next statement esp. the bolded sections:

    Quote Originally Posted by LBellatrix View Post
    That said, the very idea that there is a "Natural Hair Community" (tm) usually gets my back up. The only thing naturals have in common IMO is that we don't use relaxers or relaxer-type chemicals to permanently alter our hair texture. Beyond that...there are no rules. I'm not sure whether there really are groups who are attempting to impose rules on others (but it's the m'fing INTERNET! is someone reaching out from beyond your screen to slap that Blue Magic out of your hand? seriously??) or if certain women are just being hypersensitive because they're either too new at this or they don't have the critical thinking skills needed to take what they can use and leave the rest. It reminds me of the freshman college comp class I taught when I was in graduate school, where I had to explain to 18-year-olds who (presumably) had spent at least four years writing essays in English class that there's a difference between a fact and an opinion and not everything on the Internet should be taken at face value.

    LBell, I just read this again ^ and discovered I basically said the same thing above!


    Quote Originally Posted by LBellatrix View Post
    I don't want, need, or expect people to agree with me all the time. I don't want, need, or expect people to follow my personal hair rules or beliefs either, and I definitely don't feel like I have to conform to some arbitrary standard beyond the one I stated above (what "natural" is).
    ^+1









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  6. #4
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    Yes I have noticed this too, but I think unfortunately it will always be this way. As Lbellatrix said we are human first. The probelm is that the whole "do you" approach has become a gateway to some crazy topics on these blogs. Goin natural was suppose to be about embracing what you have and working with it. Now it has become long hair, weave 24/7, curl definition, and flat iron marathons etc. all in the name of "do you". Nothing wrong with any of those things but they are an extension of what how versitle nappy hair can be not a necessity. In other words the basic methods of hair care get bogged down in a bunch of nonsense. You got new naturals who have no clue how to take care of their hair because they're getting caught up on "hair twins", texture and nap scale charts, my 4cz naps aint bein shown enough arguments that the basics of hair care and the whole point of blogs and forms are drowned and thus arguments arise because they begin to feel slighted for what ever reason. A lot of those slinging the "nappy nazi" title are formed by women who are frustrated with their hair and just can stomach the notion that not everyone is struggling with their hair everyday. That includes those of us with so called 4b/ 4c hair .You get called a nazi if you try to explain even some basic scientific facts about hair care or try to tell someone to be happy with what you got cause there is no hair miracle out there. We are all here for information to care for our hair and seek new styles to try. Lets keep it light hearted. If you disagree it is ok to just not answer. Sometimes it ain't worth it cause people simply gotta learn for themselves about their own hair.

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  8. #5
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    I agree pretty much with everything LBellatrix mentioned. Honestly, I haven't seen many "cliques" lately. The only thing I had seen quite some time back is the "Well, you're not nappy nappy" clique, in which there were certain people who made statements like "why are you even here?" to people who had a different texture of hair, but that's been a long time ago since I even felt that cold shoulder from some folks. The rest of it, I guess I don't read too much into it, and glean what I can use and leave the rest. It's the Internet. There are all types of people and subgroups around here. You are bound to see different subgroups with different similarities and beliefs crop up here and there, the Internet tends to lend itself to that type of behavior. If you don't like what you see or hear in one group, you keep searching to find a place where you feel you belong.

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  10. #6
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    I wasn't going to post, (so cliche, isn't it?) but I what I gather is the OP may be referring to this "community" in particular. As of me writing this post, the title says, "A sort of reverse racism (for my lack of a better term) in this community"

    I could be wrong, and pardon me if I am, but that's what I see. If someone was referring to the quote "Online Natural Hair Community" which would include all forums, blogs, sites, and youtube........Then I'd see it as more general. But the title says "this community". NP is a community. We're all different, but there is a general consensus here that, we are supporting natural hair.

    NP, I think, is the only site that takes a stand against relaxers, texturizers, and heat styling. Yet and still, I do see how it would be offensive to newbies if they saw bashing of women who use such products. Very rarely have I seen militants literally light into women who take advantage of those techniques. I haven't seen any cliques. I've been vlogging and reading forums for 8 years, and that's just me.

    I support NP, but I don't support hating on people in general. Usually, I get upset when someone like Wendy Williams starts talking out the side of her neck, and yes I will make slightly off-color comments. But she's asking for it.

    What I've noticed, is that women who do straighten or whatever like to post videos about natural nazi's.........I don't know. It is what it is. We're all people; there are many sites to choose from. Rant over.
    "Authenticity is true beauty."
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  11. #7
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    No disrespect to the OP but like LBell I don't even know where threads like these are coming from. This is what I posted the last time the concept of the "natural nazi" came up in a thread and I maintain this position.

    Quote Originally Posted by Soul Rebel

    Truth.

    I'm also extraordinarily tired of the notion of the existence of a Nappy Police or Nappy Protocol.

    I do not care what you do to your hair....
    I do not care what you do to your hair....
    I do not care what you do to your hair....
    I do not care what you do to your hair....
    I do not care what you do to your hair....
    I do not care what you do to your hair....

    I dare say MOST napptural women aren't even online. PLEASE get over this notion that there are nappturals waiting behind buildings and in dark alley-ways waiting to pounce on unsuspecting napps with a bucket of Kinky-Curly creme. It's not happening. Let. It. Go. Take responsibility for your own hair choices and stop projecting. </rant>
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    Last edited by Soul Rebel; 08-12-2012 at 08:51 PM.
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  13. #8
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    ^^^ I remember that.

    Seriously, OP. You're going to find naysayers, complainers, objectors and troublemakers everywhere. Where you are with your hair and where they are with their hair are two. different. places. Instead of allowing yourself to get disappointed over the f*ckery of other people, just take what you need and leave the rest. That's it. What other people say, do, and project onto others have nothing--and shouldn't have anything to do with you as an individual.

    Or in less words: keep the focus on yourself, all else is OPTIONAL.


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  15. #9
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    "If I weren't nappy today, I wouldn't be nappy tomorrow." Its phrases likes this might put me in the natural Nazi camp, if folks need a 'Kumbayah/Let there be peace on NP' experience on this site or anywhere else to grow the hair from their scalp in its natural texture then more fool them..
    Consider this, not many of us believe black women who skin bleach to be lighter are making a healthy selfesteem choice but we still agree its their choice to make, we just disgree with it - if this was an antiskin bleaching site and someone wrote -'If I had not stopped skin bleaching today, I would not stop tomorrow' well would be interesting to read the responses to that phrase
    Apart from that everything LBella said I cosign.

    P.S There is no reverse racism 'sort of' or otherwise on this site - I have not come across anyone on here who has stated that they believe they are superior humans to others who do not wear their hair natural. Racism is a strong word, we belittle it when we use it carelessly.
    Last edited by Denny; 08-12-2012 at 07:12 PM.
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  17. #10
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    I agree with LBellatrix, Soul Rebel, Denny and others.

    As for "If I wasn't nappy today...," the decision to wear one's hair natural is like weight loss. People have to want to be natural for themselves.

    When I first went natural, I just wanted to get to know my own hair. I didn't care about infighting on a message board. Not that there's much of that here. (Mind you, I've seen people try to take a stand re things such as whether "real" naturals wear their hair unstretched, etc. But those sort of sentiments don't last very long.)

    Honestly. If someone's desire to achieve something depends on whether or not people in their so-called "goal" group are 100% homogenous, then they need to assess their motives.
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