Friends Who Aint Friends Of Nappy

**buffyuna** · 10-02-2007, 07:28 PM

I find myself annoyed with my friends these days mainly because of their opinion on nappy's. These dudes are always lookin for the light skinned Ciara's or Beyonce's (whom I find attractive too), but now that I see the beauty in natural girls (includin some on my campus) we havent been eye to eye. I get tired of having to explain to them why I find them attractive, cause frankly I dont think they will ever appreciate natural women.

And my female friends are worse. A fine natural girl will walk by and they will RIDE her on her hair. I can understand if you like to have straight hair, but why do you have to clown women that don't? Then they look at me funny when I say I like her hair and atleast its real. Im almost tempted to say "atleast she's not tryna be white" but I know that won't go over well. Plus even tho Im a guy my hair is nappy too gosh dangitt!lol, so I dont understand how they feel so comfortable dissing someone's napps in my presence.....and as if I'm supposed to agree with them. I guess its that whole guys can be nappy, but girls cant....altho they do give me the side eye when I am wearing a chunky fro.

Anyway, how do you guys feel about friends that arent so happy with the nappy? I know it must feel way more personal for yall since what they say is directed directly towards you.

**daisy14** · 10-02-2007, 08:05 PM

First I want to say that I find it excellent that you're mind is not one dimensional instead you are open to a variety of different people. As for certain women that find a need to constantly condescend other women I feel that they are insecure about themselves and they are not comfortable with who they are. When women do this is because they are looking for anything they deem as different to boost their low self-esteem. I just don' understand why women can't just unite and stop finding a need to make others feel bad. I will never understand but things like that you just have to brush it off and just concentrate on yourself or else if listen to things like that it will just drag you down and that is something some people thrive on being miserable and dragging others with them. By the way I won't have friends like that because you either accept me completely or you don't :P

**santwon** · 10-02-2007, 08:09 PM

Ha, I know what you mean. I usually just shake my head and laugh (either to myself or out loud. it really depends on the situation).

I have plenty of friends who think i'm off my rocker for transitioning. wait-- you WANT short nappy hair??

I just can't wait until I've chopped so I can rock my fro and show them that I can look good regardless.

But!! I do appreciate your open mind about it and as a male I think you can help to turn that around. At least your friends listen to you, and even though they may be laughing, I promise you that some of them are thinking about what you've said.

**JustAnotherNappyGirl** · 10-02-2007, 08:11 PM

Anyway, how do you guys feel about friends that arent so happy with the nappy? I know it must feel way more personal for yall since what they say is directed directly towards you.[/b]

My friends (even those who don't like natural hair) are respectful about it - at least in my presence. Those who can't disagree respectfully do not remain friends.

**SolSistah** · 10-02-2007, 08:16 PM

Fortunately, all but 1 of my friends are nappy. Not that I exclude non napped folks, it just worked out that way. As a Napptural woman, I would never keep in my company people who did not appreciate nappy hair. When I hear snide remarks about my hair from women, because I've yet to hear it from a man, I smh and keep going. I already know that it is because of envy these women speak ill. When I was younger, I'd snap back with rude remarks about their cracked out, non growing, imitation Caucasian, so-called hair. But I am an adult now and keep it moving. I'll be honest, I get secretly smug because I know I got something they can't even fathom. :P

**buffyuna** · 10-02-2007, 08:37 PM

Im glad that many of you dont have the same problems. I think its different cause I JUST became "enlightened", so their probably like wtf. But hopefully they can change too.

**Yekomod** · 10-02-2007, 08:45 PM

i know i a few ppl like that but none of them ar emy friends, i always get postive feedback from my friends when it comes to my hair, it they dont like ppl with natural hair, i sure as hell havent heard about it

**bellagirl** · 10-02-2007, 08:59 PM

i've gotten funky stares from natural guys, as if women are not suppose to be natural either. Oh well!! One of my good friends asked me a few weeks ago why I chose this route & proceeded to try and talk about my hair. I politely told her at least my hair is healthy and as a matter of fact, longer than yours (i pulled a few strands due to shrinkage) and she shut up. :lol:

One day on my way to pick up my sons, two women (one with Kool-Aid red relaxed hair) were walking behind me talking about nappy hair & how she cannot stand nappy hair, her hair MUST be straight. I stopped walking, turned around and said everything is not for everyone & by the way I LOVE my nappy hair.

**NewlyNappyNelle** · 10-03-2007, 02:25 AM

Well you and I are the same age. I hear all kinds of comments from girls, but guys NEVER say anything crass to me (from what I hear). They're the ones that actually act like you if a girl tries to play me (which I've stopped caring about anyway). I'm from NY so that may be the real contributing factor to my nappiness being admired (and even grabbed-- <_< ) from all kinds of people. My boyfriend, who has my best friend for several years, used to have a fro bigger than mine. He has since cut it off, but I have noticed that more guys with hair tend to hate (in a friendly and joking way) because they want your length/ texture/ color/ health style or whatever. Most guys that try to holla at me with the low cut cesears love the look of the extremes.

And I've also noticed that all of my guy friends hate weaves--esp. since they're mostly from the south and can spot an especially bad weave from a mile away. (Sorry ladies, but some people just don't care if the tracks are hanging off by a random colored thread or the glue!) So I do laugh at that. Is that bad? :P

**jemilla** · 10-03-2007, 02:36 AM

(Sorry ladies, but some people just don't care if the tracks are hanging off by a random colored thread or the glue!) So I do laugh at that.
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girl, some people feel like "by any means neccessary" :lol:

Im glad that many of you dont have the same problems. I think its different cause I JUST became "enlightened", so they're probably like wtf. But hopefully they can change too.
[/b]

so how did you become "enlightened" ?