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Thread: The Joke Thread
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05-02-2009, 02:40 AM #21
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A peanut walked into a police station. He said he was a salted.
Corny, I know. :lol:
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Post Thanks / Like - 0 Thanks, 1 Likesafroingles liked this post
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05-02-2009, 07:25 PM #22
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two...but the challenge is to get them into the light bulb.
*rimshot*Hello, 2021. Glad to see you. Hope you're bringing us goodness and light this year!
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05-02-2009, 07:33 PM #23
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*rimshot*
[/b]
My sense of humor is more observational than joke based, but I hope this translates.
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right2009: Transitioned
2020: Mature, Freeformed Locs
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05-02-2009, 08:13 PM #24
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:lol:
My sense of humor is more observational than joke based, but I hope this translates.
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right
[/b]
IRC jokes never fail to make me giggle.
Friend 1: Last one there is a Henway!
*kids running*
Friend 1: Ahaha! Friend 2 is a Henway!
Friend 2: What's a Henway?
Friend 1: About 5 pounds
*everyone collapses in a fit of giggles*
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05-02-2009, 08:23 PM #25
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IRC jokes never fail to make me giggle.
Friend 1: Last one there is a Henway!
*kids running*
Friend 1: Ahaha! Friend 2 is a Henway!
Friend 2: What's a Henway?
Friend 1: About 5 pounds
*everyone collapses in a fit of giggles*
[/b]
TXT message style.
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/
(310): dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
(323): no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
(310): oh, so thats why my junks red.
(323): wow. cant help you there...2009: Transitioned
2020: Mature, Freeformed Locs
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05-02-2009, 09:46 PM #26
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05-03-2009, 06:13 AM #27Senior Napp
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ima have to co-sign on kb there are quite a few jokes really over my head especially
My sense of humor is more observational than joke based, but I hope this translates.
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right[/b]
:blush: eta: for typos[img]http://www.nappturality.com/forum/uploads/1242349633/gallery_187497_584_193569.jpg[/img]
[url="http://members.fotki.com/110310290319/about/"]Like Fotki? have at it[/url]
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05-03-2009, 11:44 AM #28
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two...but the challenge is to get them into the light bulb.
*rimshot*
[/b]
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05-03-2009, 01:43 PM #29Active Nappturality Member
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<span style="font-family:comic sans ms">I got all the jokes and they were just want i needed especially T Reenee's! and the first one about the funeral hearse :lol:
Here's my contribution...
Here are 6 reasons why you should think before you speak -
the last one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the word back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the testimonials of a few people who did...
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He
asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with mens' balls."
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last
night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and h e said "No." I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident? "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must
have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat own. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
LAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any... true story...We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the
crew did too they were laughing so hard!</span><div align="center">http://profile.ak.facebook.com/v222/...95061_2910.jpg</div>
<span style="font-family:comic sans ms">I am so happy and grateful now that money comes to me in increasing quantities, through multiple sources in a continous basis!
You have to find a way of distracting yourself from the absent of the money while you activate within yourself the feeling of the money!
Look in the direction of where you want to be and speak in the direction of where you want to be and never look behind your shoulder of where you have come from!!!
My thoughts control my vibrations and it’s my thoughts that control what I attract!</span>
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05-03-2009, 06:46 PM #30
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<span style="font-family:arial">I got this one from my husband..
They said we'd get a black president when pigs flew....</span>
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