User Tag List
Thanks: 1
Likes: 30
Results 71 to 80 of 80
Thread: The Joke Thread
-
02-07-2013, 04:29 PM #71
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
- Posts
- 268
- Reviews
- Read 0 Reviews
- Post Thanks / Like
- Mentioned
- 0 Post(s)
- Tagged
- 0 Thread(s)
- Rep Power
- 17
Jeff Foxworthy said this about Indiana:
**If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you may live in Indiana.
**If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't even work there, you may live in Indiana.
**If you've worn shorts and a jacket at the same time, you may live in Indiana.
**If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Indiana.
**If "vacation" means going anywhere south of Fort Wayne for the weekend, you may live in Indiana
.
**If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Indiana.
**If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Indiana.
**If you have switched from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you may live in Indiana.
**If you can drive 75 mph through two feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Indiana.
**If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both doors unlocked, you may live in Indiana.
**If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Indiana.
**If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Indiana.
**If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph, you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Indiana.
**If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Indiana.
**If you know all four seasons are: Almost winter, Winter, Still winter and Road Construction, you may live in Indiana.
**If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Indiana.
**If you find 10° "a little chilly", you may live in Indiana.
-
Post Thanks / Like - 0 Thanks, 2 LikesIntellexual, AStone liked this post
-
02-08-2013, 02:14 AM #72
- Join Date
- Jan 2002
- Location
- Afrika-Amerika :)
- Posts
- 12,784
- Reviews
- Read 1 Reviews
- Post Thanks / Like
- Mentioned
- 6 Post(s)
- Tagged
- 0 Thread(s)
- Rep Power
- 53
Every time this thread is bumped I read it all the way through and all over again...
My niece has been into knock-knock jokes lately so I went and found some for her. My favorites:
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Delores!
Delores who?
Delores my shepherd
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo who?
Don't cry, it's just a knock knock joke
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Armageddon!
Armageddon who?
Armageddon cold out here, open upHello, 2021. Glad to see you. Hope you're bringing us goodness and light this year!
-
Post Thanks / Like - 0 Thanks, 1 LikesIntellexual liked this post
-
03-15-2013, 07:50 PM #73
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
- Posts
- 7,033
- Reviews
- Read 0 Reviews
- Post Thanks / Like
- Mentioned
- 2 Post(s)
- Tagged
- 0 Thread(s)
- Rep Power
- 36
This just came across the text chat portion of a meeting I'm in.
[3:47:22 PM] 007 connected.
[3:47:55 PM] 007 entered channel.
[3:48:57 PM] (Channel) 007: Hi everybody, hope ye are all well.
[3:49:31 PM] (Channel) Waterford: hi James2009: Transitioned
2020: Mature, Freeformed Locs
-
Post Thanks / Like - 0 Thanks, 1 LikesCutie McPretty liked this post
-
03-16-2013, 04:05 AM #74
- Join Date
- May 2012
- Location
- Afghanistan
- Posts
- 985
- Reviews
- Read 0 Reviews
- Post Thanks / Like
- Mentioned
- 0 Post(s)
- Tagged
- 0 Thread(s)
- Rep Power
- 16
^ lOST 10CHAR
Last hit of creamy crack: 11/24/09
BC: 10/26/2010
Staples: Shealoe, EVOO, CO, Jojoba oil, HE HH, Avg
-
03-16-2013, 04:23 AM #75Active Nappturality Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2004
- Location
- somewhere in the world...
- Posts
- 5,658
- Reviews
- Read 0 Reviews
- Post Thanks / Like
- Mentioned
- 0 Post(s)
- Tagged
- 0 Thread(s)
- Rep Power
- 30
-
03-16-2013, 11:01 AM #76
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
- Posts
- 850
- Reviews
- Read 0 Reviews
- Post Thanks / Like
- Mentioned
- 0 Post(s)
- Tagged
- 0 Thread(s)
- Rep Power
- 18
-
Post Thanks / Like - 1 Thanks, 2 LikesMissChelle thanked for this postMissChelle, Sahha liked this post
-
03-16-2013, 12:04 PM #77
- Join Date
- May 2012
- Location
- Afghanistan
- Posts
- 985
- Reviews
- Read 0 Reviews
- Post Thanks / Like
- Mentioned
- 0 Post(s)
- Tagged
- 0 Thread(s)
- Rep Power
- 16
I've obviously been missing out on this whole Bond thing. I have only watched one, the recent one with Daniel Craig.... Because he is smashable.
Last hit of creamy crack: 11/24/09
BC: 10/26/2010
Staples: Shealoe, EVOO, CO, Jojoba oil, HE HH, Avg
-
03-29-2013, 11:57 AM #78
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
- Posts
- 7,033
- Reviews
- Read 0 Reviews
- Post Thanks / Like
- Mentioned
- 2 Post(s)
- Tagged
- 0 Thread(s)
- Rep Power
- 36
Is there a problem, Officer?
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see; can I see your vehicle registration papers please?
Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Second officer: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Second officer: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Second officer: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Second officer: Is this your car, ma’am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Second officer: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps opens the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Second officer: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: Bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!Last edited by Intellexual; 03-29-2013 at 12:00 PM.
2009: Transitioned
2020: Mature, Freeformed Locs
-
Post Thanks / Like - 0 Thanks, 1 LikesOroro liked this post
-
03-08-2014, 02:31 PM #79
- Join Date
- Jan 2002
- Location
- Afrika-Amerika :)
- Posts
- 12,784
- Reviews
- Read 1 Reviews
- Post Thanks / Like
- Mentioned
- 6 Post(s)
- Tagged
- 0 Thread(s)
- Rep Power
- 53
Bumping because of this NPR article: What Is The Funniest Joke In The World?
The answer (as determined by a poll) is at the bottom of the article. I when I read it.
There are lots of really good jokes in the comments section as well.Hello, 2021. Glad to see you. Hope you're bringing us goodness and light this year!
-
06-29-2018, 01:05 PM #80
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
- Location
- Richmond
- Posts
- 190
- Reviews
- Read 0 Reviews
- Post Thanks / Like
- Mentioned
- 0 Post(s)
- Tagged
- 0 Thread(s)
- Rep Power
- 14
Re: The Joke Thread
Palm Rolling... 125 locs... Nature's Protein Gelee
Naturals Salon & Spa... http://gotlocsva.com/
http://www.afropedea.org/pics
Bookmarks