The Joke Thread

**LBellatrix** · 04-24-2009, 11:50 AM

I was cleaning off my laptop and came across an oldie-but-goodie so I thought I'd share.

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Mary was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long, black hearse was followed by a second long, black hearse about 50 feet behind it. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her were about 200 women walking single file.

Mary couldn't stand the curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

The woman replied, "Well, the first hearse is for my husband."

"What happened to him?" asked Mary.

The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."

Mary inquired further, "Well, who's in the second hearse?"

The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women.

Mary finally asked, "Could I borrow your dog?"

The woman replied, "Get in line."

KB · 04-27-2009, 03:35 PM

^ :unsure:

what did the mexican say when his house fell on him?

get off of me homes!

:unsure:

**kurliehead** · 04-27-2009, 07:03 PM

Ray & Bubba (newbie mechanical engineers) were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
'We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole,' said Bubba, 'but we don't have a ladder.'
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, 'Eighteen feet, six inches,' and walked away.
Ray shook his head and laughed. 'Ain't that just like a woman! We ask for the height and she gives us the length!'
Bubba and Ray are currently working for the government.

**Ameka** · 04-27-2009, 07:46 PM

^^LOLLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KB · 04-29-2009, 04:51 PM

i must be dumb cuz some of ya'll jokes are over my head :unsure:

anyways

why are black people so tall?

because their knee-grows *rimshot* :P

**Karibana** · 04-29-2009, 09:53 PM

^^^Wah-Wah-Wahwahwah :lol: :lol: :lol:

**LilShortRib** · 04-30-2009, 01:42 AM

What makes Bobby Brown and Keith Sweat?

THE SUN!!!

*rimshot*

Thank you! I'll be here all evening... Tips are appreciated!

KB · 04-30-2009, 02:39 AM

^ I LIKE I LIKE!!! :lol:

**Intellexual** · 04-30-2009, 02:42 AM

*rimshot*

Thank you! I'll be here all evening... Tips are appreciated!
[/b]

:lol:

**tjolims** · 04-30-2009, 12:25 PM

^^ :lol: :lol: y'all are too funny...

Ok...been wracking my brains trying to think of a clean joke...

What do you call someone allergic to rice?

Basmatic!