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View Poll Results: Pick what depicts you
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I cut my perm off to loc. I found there were some “ugly” stages.
2 3.45% -
I cut my perm off to loc. I found none of the stages were “ugly”.
1 1.72% -
I transitioned only to loc. I found there were some “ugly” stages.
1 1.72% -
I transitioned only to loc. I found none of the stages were “ugly”.
4 6.90% -
I was natural before locing. I found there were some “ugly” stages.
16 27.59% -
I was natural before locing. I found none of the stages were “ugly”.
34 58.62%
Results 1 to 10 of 57
Thread: Locing Perceptions "ugly stage"
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10-19-2009, 06:08 PM #1
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Locing Perceptions "ugly stage"
I’m trying to find out depending on how you embarked upon your locing journey was your perception about your natural hair.
I’m very curious to see how this pole turns out. I will return later to provide my thoughts behind it.Last edited by linette411; 10-19-2009 at 06:13 PM.
5 YEARS LOCED pw = smile
Loc Journey pw = smile
I may be MIA for the most part but I pop in from time to time.
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10-19-2009, 06:33 PM #2
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I selected natural to loc, there were some ugly stages.
When I look at my hair and the way it looked, for me there were stages where it was less aesthetically pleasing. The difference was I didn't get caught up or depressed about those stages-I was expecting them. It is one of the reasons I waited so long to loc after returning to my natural state. I knew mentally I needed to know that my hair would stick up, out, and around in certain places and not give a good doggone what anybody thought about it. If I hadn't I would have taken them down and given up on the journey.Where can you find me?
Twitter: @TheDrIsIn2015
On the Web: https://opinionsmusingsandreflections.wordpress.com/
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10-19-2009, 06:36 PM #3
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i was well into my nappyness b4 i starting locking and i didnt and dont embrace the idea of "ugly" stages...
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10-19-2009, 06:44 PM #4
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10-19-2009, 07:12 PM #5
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ditto! I hate the phrase as much as i had the phrase of "good hair" makes me so mad.
I find it so interesting that a little frizz or hair sticking out here or there is considered an "ugly stage" but when some pull their creamy crack hair up into one of those barley there ponytails with the hair sticking out at the nape because its broken off, or one of those unkepmt wannabe wet and wavy/natural crack jobs no one views that as "ugly"
I mean seriously. Its like we have to come up with some negative to apply to our natural hair to keep it down in the trenches. Of course im no fool and yes bad hair days exsist but come on, why do we as educated, smart beings do this? I will never begin or try to understand. I just wont support/by in to it.
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10-19-2009, 09:02 PM #6
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I don't feel that I had an "ugly" stage for my locs were never that. I did however go through an awkward stage during which time they were shrinking, very fuzzy, extremely unruly and too short to pull. On top of that, more than half unraveled, the tips have variations of straight hairs and curlies. I snipped some of the curlies and found that they were quickly replaced. I really did look unkempt just about every day.
I found the wonderful world of scarfs as headbands and then decided to ride it out. It started to change after 11 mos. That occurred in my second year. When I look at pictures taken during that time I realize that they were actually very cute just like naughty toddlers are. Now at six years, they are very good girls. The only complaint that I have is that they take all day to dry.7 year locs, relaxing and enjoying life
album pw: gummy
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10-19-2009, 09:45 PM #7
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I was 8 years' natural when I locked but my ugly stage consisted of the period when I looked like Prince Valiant. Once my bangs grew out I felt I looked a LOT better. (Except for when I wore the Halle Berry (on relaxed hair) I've always hated bangs on me.)
Hello, 2021. Glad to see you. Hope you're bringing us goodness and light this year!
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10-19-2009, 09:54 PM #8
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@Fuesha-ristic: Giiiiirrrrrlllll don’t get me started with that whole “good hair/bad hair” mess. LOL I hate that!
I was natural for a yr before I started freeforming. Thinking back to the beginning, I never considered myself going through any ugly stages. When I first cut my perm off I had a true to life TWA! (emphasis on the teeeeeeeny). When I had a short baby fro, I loved it. Six months in, I loved it. & now that its been a yr & a half & this hair is wild as all outdoors, I still love it. I learned to accept each "stage"; it’s never ending. I think people who deter from locking (or just going natural in general) because they fear an "ugly" stage, really aren't confident in their decision or themselves. You have to have confidence to do you, period.
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10-20-2009, 01:35 AM #9
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Thanks OP for the poll, the results should be interesting. I BC'ed from braidlocks and grew out my natural hair again before loc'ing in August. I currently free-form (but most likely willl semi-freeform) because I have never been gotten used to regular maintenance. I do feel that there exists a sort of awkward/ugly stage that I am going through. And no, it's not just a little frizz or hair sticking out here and there. And I think for most women here who may have a difficult time through the early stages, it is hardly that either. Anyway, I am learning to deal with not being able to control my hair as I used to and appreciating this stage.
That being said...
I believe that some of the folks here on Nappturality have helped immensely in my quest to appreciate all my imperfections. However, since posting my original post yesterday morning in which I revealed some of my personal thoughts on how I am learning to love my loc'ed hair, I have witnessed some comments that are either useless or just downright offensive/insensitive. One such comment is that I highlighted above.
The fact that I may not feel totally comfortable with the beginning stages of my hair or that I use terms such as "ugly stage" does not make me any less educated than the next woman. By wondering why smart, educated ppl "do this to ourselves," you are indirectly insulting women, like myself, who have the courage to be vulnerable amongst her peers and reveal her personal hang-ups about her own loc'ing journey. If you cannot empathize, sympathize, or inspire others who seek help through such threads, then maybe you should start your own thread in which you criticize those who getting used to the loc'ed life. I have much respect for those women who went through the early stages and felt that it was relatively easy or that it was great or beautiful. From them, I glean wisdom. I also have much respect for the equally strong black women who are able to admit that "no, i did not feel AMAZZZZING during those early stages - they sucked." Because as black women, one of the hardest things to do is to admit our weaknesses. However, I don't have much respect for those who use this forum to make themselves feel better at the expense of others, particularly by illegitimizing the feelings some of us have towards our hair.
I am trying to convey my message with as much tact as possible, because Lord knows I wanted to get ugly earlier. But I calmed down and realised that some people don't realise how insensitive their comments can be at times. I have always believed that NP.com has been a community that is willing to embrace both men and women at varying stages of their hair and life journeys."Eventually I knew precisely what hair wanted: it wanted to grow, to be itself, to attract lint, if that was its destiny, but to be left alone by anyone, including me, who did not love it as it was..."
-Alice Walker
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10-20-2009, 01:58 AM #10
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nnebekee-I think you were very tactful in your response. I am one of those who felt that I did have an ugly or awkward stage. I will not apologize for those feelings. I've since overcome them and think it is perfectly fine for folks to feel they had an awkward/ugly stage, just as it is perfectly fine for those who don't agree with that term. The nice thing about free will is that we are all entitled to our own opinions. This doesn't make us less intelligent or enlightened, it makes us human beings with the free will God blessed us with.
I pray that you find the beauty in your journey in your own time. And I'm glad that you are comfortable reaching a point of peace in your journey in your own time.Where can you find me?
Twitter: @TheDrIsIn2015
On the Web: https://opinionsmusingsandreflections.wordpress.com/
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