Do BM still approach u now that your natural?

**tip757** · 06-16-2010, 05:21 AM

Now that I have locs I feel like I get more respect from men who also have locs. I get a few other types of black men still trying to flirt with me.

What I would like to know from other sistahs up here is how do black men treat you now that you are natural? Do they give you weird looks? Have any of them told you they could never date you because of your hair? If you have not had any negative experiences please share your positive ones.

Also before I transition, cut off my relaxed hair and finally got my locs I was afraid of how bm would view me.I think in a way you can be your own worse critic because I was thinking they would look down on me but I was wrong.

**CinnamonBiscuit** · 06-16-2010, 05:25 AM

Nothing's changed, for me. No one approaches me, I keep my distance, and the only guys who ever say I look nice are old or drunk.

**tip757** · 06-16-2010, 05:28 AM

typo transitioned. the edit button won't work on my phone

**SassyB** · 06-16-2010, 05:40 AM

I got mad love and play from BM when I rocked my twist outs and puffs. I've noticed that when I attract the attention of older BM when I'm at the TWA/shrunken fro stage. If I do catch a guy looking at me funny he's usually young.

**xoellegeeox** · 06-16-2010, 05:52 AM

Hm....good no GRRRRRREAT question.

I'd say that the BM I know around my college campus who know me as well haven't acted any differently towards me. The ones who don't know me however sometimes give it a look like, "hm, that's different," luckily I have yet to experience any direct negative feedback from BM.

I HAVE found that the guys (both BM & WM) around here that I do know like to touch it, etc. Which I know to some is like, "step away from my hair," but I really like it O:-)

Most importantly this one guy (a BM) in particular started talking to me during a class this past fall and I can see that the changes I've made in the way I wear my hair (last fall it was in braids primarily & straight a handful of times; by 2nd semester I was constantly rocking a curly fro) has not affected the way he interacts with me either by himself, or when he's with his teammates. I don't know if it's b/c he's interested in me (a girl can dream right?) or if it's because he's a genuinely nice guy ::blush::

ETA: I'm curious to see/hear the experiences of others :-)

**CoilyHairedBeauty** · 06-16-2010, 05:54 AM

Never a day goes by!

And that's a true statement.

It's strange to me. Sometimes I wonder, "Why is he looking at me?"

Then I have to correct myself and say, "Why NOT look at me?" There's nothing wrong with me. Or my hair.

So these days, I've been getting a lot of positivity. My hair is not the first thing that jumps out at you when you see me, (depends on style) so I guess they see a woman, not a woman's hair, if you will.

I do notice quite a bit of gazing, when they are standing like right next to me, on the bus....I'm sure they're looking at my face, my body...e.t.c. and if my hair was unappealing, surely they'd look off....or not.

I get complements on my hair all the time from non-black men. Black men seem to just look at it. Like it doesn't belong on my head...Well, like they think it's exotic-looking...

Should I start a thread on that? LOL.

**brittrochelle** · 06-16-2010, 05:56 AM

Most people give me positive comments about my hair, but the thing I've noticed is that the unwanted attention from guys who are young, ignorant and "hood" has basically stopped! That was an unexpected benefit to going natural

**NeverGiveup** · 06-16-2010, 11:43 AM

My husband tells me all of the time that a man notices the whole package first and details later.

WOMEN pick apart the details.

If your total look is together your nappy hair alone won't have a negative impact--even if the man isn't into natural hair.

And total look includes the non-physical and non-verbal vibes we all send out.

**ebonydiva82** · 06-16-2010, 12:28 PM

I work in Harlem and I've had more black men complement me on being natural than not. It seems as if there is more respect for women being natural than women wearing weaves. It's like, if a woman wears a weave, she's trying to be something she's not but if a woman is natural, she accepts herself more for what she is. That may not always be true, but that's the feeling I get.

**tip757** · 06-16-2010, 12:52 PM

Originally Posted by CoilyHairedBeauty

Never a day goes by!

And that's a true statement.

It's strange to me. Sometimes I wonder, "Why is he looking at me?"

Then I have to correct myself and say, "Why NOT look at me?" There's nothing wrong with me. Or my hair.

So these days, I've been getting a lot of positivity. My hair is not the first thing that jumps out at you when you see me, (depends on style) so I guess they see a woman, not a woman's hair, if you will.

I do notice quite a bit of gazing, when they are standing like right next to me, on the bus....I'm sure they're looking at my face, my body...e.t.c. and if my hair was unappealing, surely they'd look off....or not.

I get complements on my hair all the time from non-black men. Black men seem to just look at it. Like it doesn't belong on my head...Well, like they think it's exotic-looking...

Should I start a thread on that? LOL.

You know, whex a bm kinda stares at me in a certain way sometimes I have to keep from rolling my eyes lol. A couple of days ago I was getting on the bus ready to go to work when I sat down across from this guy that just kept staring at me. I don't know if it was because of my hair or what.Then like a small smile appeared on his face and he kept looking back at me. Maybe it was the hair, maybe it wasn't, I dunno. I have locs and I had just washed them that day and they were all fluffy.