Frustrated and sad about geneological research

**valuetruth** · 06-30-2010, 06:44 PM

Hey all,

I just recently joined ancestry.com and was about to trace parts of my family back to the mid/early 1800's. Basically, the last generation born into slavery who were still alive in to be found in the 1870 or 1880 census. Then I hit a brick wall.

Another thing I noticed that while most of my family on both sides come out of Mississippi and Alabama, I kept finding random relatives born in the early/mid 1800's who were born in the upper South but had children before the end of slavery in Mississippi and Alabama. I started to wonder about that because I know Black people (free or slave) weren't just trapsing around all willy-nilly from state to state in the 1840's and 1850's. Well, what I found out is that after the war of 1812, tobacco production decreased in the upper south and many slaves were traded to the deep south (MS,AL, LA) between that time and the start of the civil war to pick cotton as cotton production was increasing in those areas. One source described it as a second middle passage that tore apart many families. My earliest Darling relative was born in 1820s in VA (as were both his parents) but was having children in Alabama in the 1850s. Most likely he was sold away from his family in VA. I've found Slave schedules of a Darling family that owned slaves in VA, but the records only listed gender and age of the slaves but no first names.

My families oral history does not provide further clues so right now I'm stuck and annoyed. And I also see why many African-Americans don't bother. It kind of brings the realizations of slavery close to home and who wants to think about that.

Rant over, thanks for reading.

**Padme32** · 06-30-2010, 06:50 PM

I feel you. I came to a deadend for different reasons doing my family tree; I found out that my paternal grandfather isn't my dad's biological father (just legally cause his name is on the birth cert.) and apparently this is the case for many of my dad's siblings. Basically, my grandma was, um, a little loose, and on top of that, she ain't willing to tell anybody who their real granddaddy is (and maybe she doesn't know).

**Intellexual** · 06-30-2010, 06:55 PM

Thank you for sharing, Sis. You seem to be doing a great job of piecing together a familial history. I hope you get more breakthroughs, even as you've confronted some disheartening realities that may have touched your family (even beyond the practice of slavery itself).

**valuetruth** · 06-30-2010, 09:18 PM

Originally Posted by Padme32

I feel you. I came to a deadend for different reasons doing my family tree; I found out that my paternal grandfather isn't my dad's biological father (just legally cause his name is on the birth cert.) and apparently this is the case for many of my dad's siblings. Basically, my grandma was, um, a little loose, and on top of that, she ain't willing to tell anybody who their real granddaddy is (and maybe she doesn't know).

I'm sorry about that. That really puts you a dead end right off the top. She might not know and if that is the case I can understand her not wanting to talk about it. Are there a few likely candidates you could work from? They're family might be more willing to talk about the past than your grandma.

I just found out last week my biological grandfather (whom I've never met, talked to or even seen a picture of) died in 2007. He had gotten my grandmother pregnant when she was a teenager and refused to marry her. He later married someone else but his own wife did not know that my father existed until the one time my father met him when my father was about 30 yrs old. So it seems that generation could be a little wierd about things.

Originally Posted by Intellexual

Thank you for sharing, Sis. You seem to be doing a great job of piecing together a familial history. I hope you get more breakthroughs, even as you've confronted some disheartening realities that may have touched your family (even beyond the practice of slavery itself).

Thanks. I've found a lot thanks to an interview I did with one of my great-grandparents about 15 years ago. I kept the info all this time so it helped to find as much as I did with that branch. I also have a funeral program of another great grandparent from 1996 that helped me piece in info about where she was born and her parents.

**KellyVonn** · 07-01-2010, 10:22 PM

It is fustrating! I understand, I traced mine too. Keep going sis, be encouraged. Peace. : )

**Padme32** · 07-01-2010, 11:06 PM

Originally Posted by valuetruth

Are there a few likely candidates you could work from? They're family might be more willing to talk about the past than your grandma.

Unfortunately, no. I wasn't super close to my dad's side of the family and he and I had issues with our relationship. However, I'd feel comfortable grilling him about it, if he were still living (he died a few years back) and I think he probably would have told me all he knew (which may not have been much). How I found out, was talking to my aunt about family tree stuff and she kind gently told me...then I asked one of my cousins and she said she had just found a few years back that, too (her mom and my dad are sibs) so we had both been under the impression that this man was our grandfather...it's kind of a mess, lol. Plus they are all in FL and I am in OR...

One story my dad told me says it all about the kind of childhood he had: as kids, he and his sister used to bring their mom home, in a WAGON, drunk as a skunk from the local speakeasy on several occasions. The reason she could fit into the wagon was because she was (and is) so petite...smh. Somehow she managed to keep jobs, but I guess she had to get her drink on weekly...it's sad, but I just have to laugh about it.

**Fedyfro** · 07-05-2010, 05:59 PM

Hang in there. Sometimes the brick wall you hit can be overcome later.

Case in point, I had been looking for my gggrandmother for years when someone corrected a record I had seen before. The correction resulted in access to my gggrandmother's death certificate containing her maiden name, birth place and birth year.

Genealogy can be a long and winding road for us but the information we can uncover can be priceless.

**valuetruth** · 07-06-2010, 08:06 PM

Originally Posted by Padme32

One story my dad told me says it all about the kind of childhood he had: as kids, he and his sister used to bring their mom home, in a WAGON, drunk as a skunk from the local speakeasy on several occasions. The reason she could fit into the wagon was because she was (and is) so petite...smh. Somehow she managed to keep jobs, but I guess she had to get her drink on weekly...it's sad, but I just have to laugh about it.

Wow. I don't blame granny at all. I wouldn't want to talk about that with my grandkids either. Hey, I'm not mad at her though, she managed to keep jobs to take care of the family. Maybe she drank to deal with all the stress and pressure?

Originally Posted by Fedyfro

Hang in there. Sometimes the brick wall you hit can be overcome later.

Case in point, I had been looking for my gggrandmother for years when someone corrected a record I had seen before. The correction resulted in access to my gggrandmother's death certificate containing her maiden name, birth place and birth year.

Genealogy can be a long and winding road for us but the information we can uncover can be priceless.

Thanks for the encouragement. Hopefully I can fill in more as time goes on.

**aksnowangel** · 07-06-2010, 09:01 PM

i understand how you feel but its a time consuming thing that takes lots of time and dedication no matter what race you are ( many other races were sold into slavery and have been placed all over the world) but it took my grandfathers side two generations just to trace back their history to the first relative from africa (i dont know why they stoped tracing it after that) my mom is tracing her great grandmother who is native american and she did a lot of the work with out a website for a year and came to a stale mate in 2004 and has since then continued her search less, i just say if you really want to know and your to lazy to do all the work than hire someone yah its expensive but its worth it if you really want to know your history

**cocowantshealthyhair** · 07-23-2010, 03:42 PM

I did the trail version of ancestry.com for 14 days. And i was not able to find out anything that i already didn't know. I already knew my great great great grandmothers name. But after that the line goes blank. It was believed that my great great great grandma was half Irish. Its very frustrating and it does have the tendency to make you sad, b/c European people can usually trace there ancestry back to the origin of the country they came from. but us African Americans are often at @ stand-till once you read a certain point.