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  1. #51
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    For me, I don't know how it happened...

    My mom has always taught me to love myself (though the whole good/bad hair thing was alive in my household)... but I can't help but wonder if it started in school, tv, i don't know...
    When I was in grade school I transfered from a white/hispanic elementary to an all black school and was constantly made fun of for how I spoke. My middle school was all black as well, and there I was made fun of for the music I liked, the way I spoke, my sense of fashion (mom had me in sketchers, those kids had a field day on me :/)...
    Then there are the stereotypes about black people. Constantly being around ghetto people (kids), whom I desperately wanted to be away from. I hated the way black people were always portrayed on TV/movies (this I still do hate lol). I felt like I always had to prove those stereotypes wrong.

    After awhile I wanted to be anything BUT black. Being only a quarter Chinese, when the opportunity came up I had no problem letting people know... I guess it made me feel as if I wasn't like other black people. Like being mixed was better. I didn't listen to rap, spoke as proper as I could (especially around non-black people), and looked down on a lot of other black students because 'the way they acted wasn't up to my standards'. I really disliked who I was, and was pretty depressed throughout my high school years (high school was very diverse). By the time I'd gotten to senior year and was near graduation, I wanted to take every step to better myself. I'm not sure what made me want to change my though process... I guess I just wanted to be more positive.. I think I also have my best friend to thank (she's a black muslim new yorker), I think being around her made me look at things differently. She was always really proud to be black! I started to accept and love myself for who I was more and more! I began to embrace and learn about the things that make up black/african culture.

    And now... you can't tell me nothing, I'm very proud to be who I am.

    It is interesting looking back at who I use to be, also makes me shake my head..
    but, I am deff happy and proud of my blackness
    My Hair Journey: http://public.fotki.com/Samiah90/


    ~*.*~ONE YEAR NATURAL! ~*.*~

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by AnaisKarim View Post
    Honestly, where do people live that they are being accused of "talking white?" I really don't know anyone who doesn't speak "standard" English. It's not anything worth remarking on. Maybe I'm just old and it happens at school or something.
    there's still people in my family in cincinnati who say it. they used to tease me about it a lot when i was younger by saying i sounded white and i was an oreo one day i snapped, gave the parties in question a verbal dressing down and let's just say they never said it again ... now they say "you sound so proper"

    i just recently talked to one of my aunts who was calling to see if i would be able to make it back for my greatgrand dad's funeral and she mentioned it again. how proper i talk. at this point all i can say is "ok so anyway"

    as for black people not having a culture of its own? i don't understand how the definition for culture is somehow different for black people than it would be non black people. culture for non black people implies traditions,foods, artistic expression, clothing etc. do black people not have traditions? eat food food? make music and books? wear clothing?

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by AnaisKarim View Post
    Honestly, where do people live that they are being accused of "talking white?" I really don't know anyone who doesn't speak "standard" English. It's not anything worth remarking on. Maybe I'm just old and it happens at school or something.
    *raises arm*

    To this day I STILL get this.

    "Oh, you sound just like a white girl."

    "You talk white."


    It used to make me uncomfortable and even embarrass me and I often felt alienated. My mom said that one time she heard me trying to sound stereotypically black, and she stopped me from doing it. She told me to NEVER be ashamed for the way I speak, and after that, I was fine. Now if I get teased for 'sounding white' I just think to myself 'At least I'm understood when I speak'.

    It STILL happens.

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Denny View Post
    Only you can answer the above question.


    What makes other folks ashamed of being black? The reasons are probably varied but black is not the global mainstream or the British mainstream. Some black folks have swallowed the lie all things white must be good, all things black or associated with blackness must be bad or a hinderance to 'getting on' in life. The legacy of slavery and colonialism did a number on our collective racial psyche.

    What makes me proud of being black is the same reason I am proud of being female. This is me. I accept what Mother Nature gave me, be it melanin or chromosomes.
    Some of us love living in the Matrix, some of us chose to flee the Matrix and some of us don't even know there is a Matrix.


    I like this...
    Natural since 1998.
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  5. #55
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    I have been lurking for days asking myself this question...Where to begin?

    When I was in elementary school I always wanted to be really dark-skinned with long hair. Then in highschool I wanted to be light skinned with light eyes dimples and long hair(yea serious issue). I wanted so much to be something else that I missed out on me...I had a voice that I was silencing unknowingly. I figured If I couldn't be closer to light-skinned that I would be really black. This including hip-hop, all things African, ancient Egypt etc. The truth is I don't really like hip-hop nor rap, I don't want to rep the ancient Egyptians because my people are from west Africa and I don't know who they are so what can I rep, truly? I didn't like studying black history(don't kill me!) in school because it felt forced and they kept repeating the same thing over and over ( I prefer ancient world history). So who am I?

    I grew up in the hood but I spoke proper and had some common sense (momma had a switch handy if y'all hear me) and the ghetto kids just irked me and when I would play with them I was the "bad" kid and I got into trouble not them. I hated white people because my family did, but soon realize that we caused our own problems and had no one to blame.

    When I got to college I knew that the world thought the worst of black people and instead of hating myself and them (the ones who wanted to stand on the corner and do nothing all day) I decided to change their minds by being the best me. My color does not define me I have to give it a positive definition, just one example in the sea of many other good ones.

    It saddens me to see that when we take a good step forward others take us 10 back but we must persevere.
    I can only define me and be me no object nor speech pattern or clothes can do that.
    sorry for the rant...Its the first time I have been able to express this without feeling like I owe an apology.

  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by GalaxyGirl2025 View Post
    as for black people not having a culture of its own? i don't understand how the definition for culture is somehow different for black people than it would be non black people. culture for non black people implies traditions,foods, artistic expression, clothing etc. do black people not have traditions? eat food food? make music and books? wear clothing?
    Well said! I believe saying black people in the Diaspora do not have a culture is an insult to our ancestors who had to adapt what they knew with their new totally hostile environment.
    All humans have a culture whether they like or not.
    http://public.fotki.com/Lockyladyden

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  7. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by AnaisKarim View Post
    Honestly, where do people live that they are being accused of "talking white?" I really don't know anyone who doesn't speak "standard" English. It's not anything worth remarking on. Maybe I'm just old and it happens at school or something.

    I used to get this on the regular.. Mainly people think I speak with a British accent.. until they actually hear a Brit... (I pronounce my hard syllables, like "t's" most of the time.. and many Brits do not)...
    "Life is an unfoldment, and the further we travel the more truth we can comprehend. To understand the things that are at our door is the best preparation for understanding those that lie beyond." ~ Hypatia

  8. #58
    kell is offline Active Nappturality Member
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    Sounding White, When people say this it might mean you actually sound like a white person. I understand we speak english but some black people have been raised around white people and have the same dialect as the people they are around. If you close your eyes or talk to someone on the phone you have never met they may sound like a different race. Some white people sound like black people. This is not unsual. If I grew up around Mexican Americans I would probably sound like them.

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by kell View Post
    Sounding White, When people say this it might mean you actually sound like a white person. I understand we speak english but some black people have been raised around white people and have the same dialect as the people they are around. If you close your eyes or talk to someone on the phone you have never met they may sound like a different race. Some white people sound like black people. This is not unsual. If I grew up around Mexican Americans I would probably sound like them.
    Tho I bet most times it means 'why are you speaking Standard English' as if only white people can and should speak that way. A lot of times on the phone I can guess if it is a black English person I am speaking to, our vocal tone seems to be lower than the average white English person, even when the person is speaking Standard English (aka old BBC English). But this has nothing to do with grammer.
    Last edited by Denny; 02-04-2011 at 12:41 PM.
    http://public.fotki.com/Lockyladyden

    Join date March 2004
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  10. #60
    kell is offline Active Nappturality Member
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    You'll be surprised if you met this lady I work with she is white and has a southern black woman voice. She says she was raised around black people and all her friends are black and she married a black man. I talked to her on the phone before they hired her and I just knew she was black but I was wrong.

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