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  1. #1
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    Default What makes some ashamed and some so proud of blackness :-/

    Something that has always puzzled me is that I have friends who have purposely made their skin lighter (for 1,000,000 reasons but it is all down to feeling unattractive) or done things to remove the idea of blackness away from them - revile natural hair, find cornrows chavvy (UK version of ghetto) etc

    However I have always liked being black, never run away from the sun, loved the idea and look of wild natural hair since I was a kid. Always done my own thing. And yes I had a Barbie and Sindy dolls, my family used to leave copies of Harpers & Queen (posh sloaney white magazines) lying around, Sweet Valley High (blonde sexy twins anyone) was my favourite programme. To cut a long *** story short everything around me was white, I even went to all white boarding schools

    When people ask me where I am from even though I was born in London and lived in Nigeria for a short while I just say Nigeria

    Why have I never felt any shame or run away from being black?

  2. #2
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    I mean my friend screams from the rooftops about being Nigerian, wouldnt date a white person because it is embarassing yet lightens her skin, would not be caught dead with natural hair, flies from Germany where she lives to London monthly to get weaves done and the one the truly stumps me has shortened her surname (I mean taken an 8 letter uncomplicated surname and converted it to a 3 letter surname)

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    Quote Originally Posted by empresstigerlily View Post
    Why have I never felt any shame or run away from being black?
    Only you can answer the above question.


    What makes other folks ashamed of being black? The reasons are probably varied but black is not the global mainstream or the British mainstream. Some black folks have swallowed the lie all things white must be good, all things black or associated with blackness must be bad or a hinderance to 'getting on' in life. The legacy of slavery and colonialism did a number on our collective racial psyche.

    What makes me proud of being black is the same reason I am proud of being female. This is me. I accept what Mother Nature gave me, be it melanin or chromosomes.
    Some of us love living in the Matrix, some of us chose to flee the Matrix and some of us don't even know there is a Matrix.
    Last edited by Denny; 01-28-2011 at 02:42 PM.
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    2011 - The year of the PANK
    I have good hair, its never been sent to the naughty corner...

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Last edited by Denny; Today at 07:42 AM.


    Dang.. I LUV THIS COMMENT!! I can't wait to use it. Hope u don't mind

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sinamin2 View Post
    2011 - The year of the PANK
    I have good hair, its never been sent to the naughty corner...

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Last edited by Denny; Today at 07:42 AM.


    Dang.. I LUV THIS COMMENT!! I can't wait to use it. Hope u don't mind
    Use away! (all copyright fees can be sent to P.O Box 1234 )
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  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Denny View Post
    Only you can answer the above question.


    What makes other folks ashamed of being black? The reasons are probably varied but black is not the global mainstream or the British mainstream. Some black folks have swallowed the lie all things white must be good, all things black or associated with blackness must be bad or a hinderance to 'getting on' in life. The legacy of slavery and colonialism did a number on our collective racial psyche.

    What makes me proud of being black is the same reason I am proud of being female. This is me. I accept what Mother Nature gave me, be it melanin or chromosomes.
    Some of us love living in the Matrix, some of us chose to flee the Matrix and some of us don't even know there is a Matrix.


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    Like Denny said, it's a part of the effects of colonialism. The Europeans wanted world domination, and they acquired a lot of land and minds in their quest to do so. In order for one group to be or feel superior, another group has to be made inferior, or at least made to feel like they are. So the fact that there are people of color (globally and from every ethnic demographic) that feel as if they are inferior, less than, and ashamed of what they are is not by accident. It was done systematically over hundreds of years. Now, even if you never see the tv or a subliminal media message, you may still be made to feel inferior due to the ideas of others within your own ethnic group who have bought into that mindset, and will talk about you like a dog the further away you look from European.

    Everyone should be proud of what and who they are. I'm sure it's an awful feeling to feel ashamed of what will never ever change, no matter how much skin lightener is used, no matter how many sets of blue contacts are owned, or how long and blonde one's weave is.

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    Quote Originally Posted by moriahsuperstar View Post
    Like Denny said, it's a part of the effects of colonialism. The Europeans wanted world domination, and they acquired a lot of land and minds in their quest to do so. In order for one group to be or feel superior, another group has to be made inferior, or at least made to feel like they are. So the fact that there are people of color (globally and from every ethnic demographic) that feel as if they are inferior, less than, and ashamed of what they are is not by accident. It was done systematically over hundreds of years. Now, even if you never see the tv or a subliminal media message, you may still be made to feel inferior due to the ideas of others within your own ethnic group who have bought into that mindset, and will talk about you like a dog the further away you look from European.

    Everyone should be proud of what and who they are. I'm sure it's an awful feeling to feel ashamed of what will never ever change, no matter how much skin lightener is used, no matter how many sets of blue contacts are owned, or how long and blonde one's weave is.

    ITA. We all know why we feel ashamed of our race from time to time. However, what keeps us at the bottom of the totem pole financially, politically and socially is the collective mental agreement that "black = inferior". "We" continue to dwell in this negative space and all of "us" know that you get what you expect. For black people to progress we all have to do our part to regain pride. Our collective response must not be one of shame or disgust, rather one of pride and awe at the fact that black is truly beautiful. Other races are so very much in awe of what we can accomplish if we practise right thinking....... It's a pity that we just can't see it for ourselves.
    "If thou wilt be observant and vigilant, thou wilt see at every moment response to thy action.
    Be observant and vigilant, if thou wouldst have a pure heart, for something is born to thee in consequence of every action." Rumi

  9. #9
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    Mental illness makes people ashamed of being black. Whenever you reject something integral, natural, basic to self there's something wrong in your head.
    the artist formerly known as Electra


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    Quote Originally Posted by Denny View Post
    What makes other folks ashamed of being black? The reasons are probably varied but black is not the global mainstream or the British mainstream. Some black folks have swallowed the lie all things white must be good, all things black or associated with blackness must be bad or a hinderance to 'getting on' in life. The legacy of slavery and colonialism did a number on our collective ethnic psyche.
    This, basically.

    Quote Originally Posted by moriahsuperstar View Post
    So the fact that there are people of color (globally and from every ethnic demographic) that feel as if they are inferior, less than, and ashamed of what they are is not by accident. It was done systematically over hundreds of years.
    This too...it's very important to note that people of color all over the world share this struggle. It was designed by whites to effect world domination and in many ways it has worked.

    Quote Originally Posted by Electra View Post
    Mental illness makes people ashamed of being black. Whenever you reject something integral, natural, basic to self there's something wrong in your head.
    I don't agree with this exactly. Besides the looseness of the term "mental illness," there's the question that I've been asking for a while now: At what point does "mental illness" turn into "cultural norm"?

    Was it "mental illness" or "surviving" that caused black women to straighten their hair when working in white folks' houses in the 20th Century? Isn't there still this element of survival involved when black women are automatically told (by other black people) that they have to straighten their hair, or wear a straight wig or weave, to get or keep a job? Isn't it still the case that some of us are considered mentally ill (as in "Girl, what happened? Did you break up with your man?") when we BC?

    Just trying to further the conversation...
    It's 2020...do you know where you're going to?

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