The Opposite Sex and their thoughts about natural hair

**neah1** · 02-21-2011, 01:05 AM

So I recently text my boyfriend and we were having a conversation. So I mentioned my hair and asked do you like me wearing my natural hair. His response is: "yeah, but I think you should wear it straight because straight hair is a big turn on." First off why is that boys and men find that straight hair is better. it's like they dont even want to try to approach you or have a relationship with you if you have natural hair. It really makes me mad because its like they dont except you for you. It would be nice if he would have said I love your hair no matter how you wear it.

**nickib** · 02-21-2011, 01:20 AM

Hey girl. You are not alone in this situation. Many natural women go through the same thing. I think your mistake here was asking his opinion and then being angry when he told you the truth. Are you looking for his approval? Do you need him say so to stay natural. If not then his opinion doesn't mean a thing.

Also, please remember that once upon a time you liked your hair straight too. So it make sense that it will take time for him to see the beauty of natural hair.

Hope that helps.

**Akomas_Angel** · 02-21-2011, 01:42 AM

The key here is that he's already your boyfriend. If he would break up with you over your choice to remain natural, it sounds like you would be better off. He most definately has a right to his opinion. Plus, you opened the doorway, so you cannot be upset just because he told you something that you didn't want to hear.

He really has no power or authority over you and your self-esteem, unless you give him to have that power/authority.

And just like nickib said, it wasn't that long ago that you liked your hair straight, just give him time to adjust to this new look. But if he can't, move on to someone who will supprt you in the way that you need.

**NappyDude** · 02-28-2011, 04:44 AM

Iam a guy,
i really dont care about a girls hair(long has it looks nice on her and compliments her face)
rather its a weave,braids,locs,afro,cornroll doesnt matter to me.

my girlfriend is all natural and rocks braids or just her plain old afro out.

i think your going to attract more mature guys wearing your hair all natural

**chrisleak08** · 03-20-2011, 04:46 PM

I definitely agree with everyone else. If he likes your hair a certain way he is entitled to that opinion. It is up to you whether you let it effect you in a positive/negative way. I'm transitioning and my boyfriend misses my longer relaxed hair too because when we began going out thats how he met me. He supports my idea of going natural since his mom and sister have always been he is just not fond of the fact that I'm going to do the big chop soon. When it comes to hair in general I honestly feel like if you went into it for the right reasons and not for other people you won't let others opinions effect you.

**Veviticus** · 03-20-2011, 06:36 PM

This is why I DON'T ASK other people if they like, accept, love, etc., MY hair or not.

I'm not trying to be mean or nasty, but there are some things I just refuse to open the door to, and let the drama come in.

The only person who opinion who counts about MY hair is ME. Take it or leave it. If you don't like it, then don't look.

When I decided to get Sisterlocks, I didn't ask or tell anybody about MY decision or asked about what they thought. I didn't even tell or ask my hubsand. I showed up one day and I had Sisterlocks. Case closed.

**kottonkurlz** · 03-20-2011, 08:30 PM

Good topic but after a few years natural I could care less what they think cuz Imma keep on keepin' on.

**Denny** · 03-23-2011, 02:21 PM

Originally Posted by Veviticus

When I decided to get Sisterlocks, I didn't ask or tell anybody about MY decision or asked about what they thought. I didn't even tell or ask my hubsand. I showed up one day and I had Sisterlocks. Case closed.

Same thing I did when I stopped perming, did the BC, went natural and locked. The idea of sharing or asking permission on what to do with my own hair never entered my head. Might as well ask folks for their opinion on whether to bathe or shower

(Some) Black boys and men find straight hair better cos that's what their mothers, sisters and other female relatives have been teaching them for decades..

**KillerMoosh** · 04-14-2011, 12:29 AM

He's still with you today so that says he isn't as shallow as he sounds. My boyfriend loves my TWA, but currently I'm grounded and he's going to be shocked to see me come back with completely chopped off hair. The way I see it, as time goes on you'll only get more comfortable with your hair, and either it'll grow on him or his oppinion will remain. I think you and your hair is gorgeous. Keep trooping. You'll meet plenty people who dont like your hair, or would like your hair better some other way. So far, I've gotten very few negative comments on my natural hair. Virtually none.

**Padme32** · 04-14-2011, 12:43 AM

Your bf has just given you insight. I don't know how old you are, but it's really up to you if you want to stay with him or not. If hair becomes a serious issue or if he starts making derogatory comments all the time, I'd move on.

I think there is a difference between someone thinking you should wear your hair straight, yet truly respecting the decision you've made about your hair AND someone who thinks you should wear your hair straight, and always has something negative to say about it. The first type of person may come around at some point, the second type is a lost cause.

So while you can ignore comments like this from parents, friends, siblings, etc., a partner is a different story. Has to be some level of respect and acceptance, no matter what his/her personal opinion is.