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  1. #1
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    Exclamation I'm Against Breastfeeding

    Ok so i'm not actually against it, I just don't think I can do it.

    I'm 19 weeks pregnant and the idea of breastfeeding is freaking me out. I'm really ashamed and embarrassed but wanted to know if anyone else ever felt like this and how do i get over it.

    To put it frankly, my breasts are sexual. That's all they have been used for my entire life. I don't want to be aroused by my child. It freaks me out thinking about my son or daughter sucking on my breasts. And i feel terrible because i know breastmilk is best and I want to give my child the best but i can't get past this.

    I was reading a few parenting forums and women admit to feeling aroused while breastfeeding but hey just "ignore it". HOW? The very idea is making my skin crawl. Any time i see another woman doing it, i feel uncomfortable. Like i shouldn't be seeing this. It is creepy and just seems wrong. But I know that is ridiculous. Breastfeeding is natural and normal and what they were made for but still....

    I'm a sexual assualt survivor. I was raped as a child and as an adult so I know you can't stop sensations in your body no matter how hard you try. And being aroused by my child is a feeling i do not want to have.

    What do I do?! How do I move past this? Has anyone else had this feling or am I crazy?

    Please help........
    Last relaxer : May 08
    BC : January 2, 2009

  2. #2
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    How about pumping instead of physically breastfeeding? When I had MiniMe and I told them that I wanted to breast feed they brought the pump while she was in NICU and I was able to pump for her. Even though I wasn't able to continue breastfeeding (i was sick after having her and couldnt produce milk) it was still a lifesaver to have the pump...
    And when you have your child you won't feel those aroused feelings. You'll have I'm a mother nourishing my child feelings...
    HTH and good luck!

    YQ

  3. #3
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    *bighug*

    Breastfeeding is a HUGE hurdle (I've heard) for women who've survived sexual assault, but it can be part of the healing process if you let it. Let me find a blog post I read that was written by a sexual assault survivor...will be back to link it to you!

  4. #4
    kell is offline Active Nappturality Member
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    I breastfed my 3 kids until thay were a year old. They did not get sick with colds and flues until they were teenagers and they never had an ear infection which alot of babies get when they drink from a bottle.They are grown now and I have two grand babies who are formula fed and they are sick alot. Many mothers today do not breastfeed because they a too busy or they think its nasty. I loved bonding with my babies it was very natural and a beautiful experience. This is why God gave a woman breast, it is not for sexual reasons, it was ment to feed your child. Its a natual thing, so natural animals feed their young this way and we are so smart we feed off animals. I think it is not right to feed a baby formula unless you cannot produce milk. It would be like giving a 5 year old twinkies for dinner but its your choice.

  5. #5
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    Blacktating Blog: Guest Post - Empowering Breasts!

    Here you go! There are some resources listed in the comments below the blog post (Hypnobirthing is mentioned - it can help you release the negative emotions and reclaim the power of your body).

    Wish you the best

    To answer your question, no, I never felt arousal while breastfeeding. It's a human instinct thing to feed my child - and my body and brain know the difference. It's a completely different feeling from my husband nibbling on my breast, he's not doing it for survival and it's a completely different context; KWIM?
    Last edited by ImaniMama; 05-10-2011 at 01:00 PM.

  6. #6
    kell is offline Active Nappturality Member
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    Breastfeeding is not nasty or sexual arousing in any way. It will make your nipples hard and contract your uterus but that is a normal natural feeling.

  7. #7
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    Himmy is offline Active Nappturality Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by kell View Post
    Breastfeeding is not nasty or sexual arousing in any way. It will make your nipples hard and contract your uterus but that is a normal natural feeling.
    I agree and at first, all you will be concentrating on is the correct technique and when the contractions hit you...you won't be thinking about those nipples much. No seriously, I say try it. The milk is soooo much better for your baby. I was talked out of doing it the first two times by my mother. She gave me all kinds of reasons why I shouldn't do it. I wanted to nurse my babies, so when I had my third son...I didn't tell anyone I was going to nurse. My mother walked in the room and found my baby latched on. By that time, I didn't care what she or anyone else thought. I pumped most of the time...so I definitely say if the thought of having your little bambino latched on to your breasts is uncomfortable to you...pump. It's a win for the both of you.

    Congratulations on the pregnancy, sis!!!!
    Thank you, Jah!!!! Thank you!!!!

    I updated my picture album here on NP ya'll. Year 4! What a blessing to be a loc sistah!

  8. #8
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    I breastfed my two babies for a year each, and it was one of the BEST decisions I could have made my kids.

    When my son was born I was horrified to take him home because my seven year old daughter had the chickenpox.
    But my midwife assured me that as long as I was breastfeeding, I had nothing to worry about...she was right.

    A week after I brought my son home I got sick with the flu. Again I cried to the mid-wife that I was afraid to breastfeed, thinking that my week old infant would catch the flu and die...she told me that I had nothing to worry about, and she was right.
    My son is 18 and has never had the chickenpox, measles, mumps or the flu. I think that because of breastfeeding, helped my kids not to be obese or overweight either. They are both very healthy adults.
    The feeling of breastfeed is pleasurable, but not in a sexual sense, but it gives the feelings of bonding with your baby, and it's relaxing, and eases stress. If it wasn't pleasurable, we would not be able to do it.

    I am praying that it will all work out for you. I truly hope that you will be willing to at least try, and if it doesn't work out, at least decide to pump.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #9
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    Blacktating is an excellent blog about nursing; I interviewed Elita for an article I wrote about breastfeeding for a local magazine.

    I'm a survivor of sexual abuse and I breastfed my son until he was 2.5 and is currently breastfeeding my 2 week old son. Nursing is an entirely different orientation from sexual contact with a partner. A baby nursing is not the same as your partner stimulating you, it's just a totally different feeling. While nursing, hormones are released that make you feel relaxed and bond with baby. It is pleasurable, but not in a sexual way at all.

    I know for some women, pumping is a necessity, but if you do not have to, I wouldn't pump. A baby can more efficiently suck milk out of your breast than a pump can. Plus, during those first two weeks or so, the baby needs to be on your breast for your body to establish your milk supply. Pumping would interfere with that. So if you really want to pump some, just wait a few weeks to start doing it.

    I think the benefits of breastfeeding really are worth it; my son has never had an ear infection, flu, strep or other serious illness. Ever. And when he has been sick, it's over quickly. He's gotten a few fevers here and there, and runny noses, but it all resolved itself within 24 hours.
    BC: Spring 2000


  10. #10
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    Oh, also, OP you are not crazy for feeling what you're feeling. Totally legit concerns, just perhaps you need someone to cheerlead and encourage you.
    BC: Spring 2000


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