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  1. #11
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    First, I'd agree with the "if you have to ask, then you already know the answer" sentiment.

    Secondly, I also have to agree with the "why is he going for someone who is underaged" idea.

    When I was 17/18 I also dated someone older, at the time I really thought nothing of it. And even now we are still amicable and talk now and then. It was a great relationship and I do not have any regrets. BUT, now that I am older (25) I really have a different perspective on the age gap.

    As a 25 year old, would I date someone who is 20? Heck No. When I was 20, would I have dated someone who was 17, even more of a heck no. The fact of the matter is, you may not realize it now, but with life experience you'll come to realize that 17 to 20 is a big difference, not in age, but in life. You two are bound to be mentally, emotionally, and socially in totally different places in life. And when I meet a guy who is in his 20s and dating someone much younger than him I always wonder what his issue is. Because usually there is one, small as it may be (with my ex it was that he suffers from very mild depression and thrives on feeling emotionally connected to someone/needed). If there isn't an issue (something like stunted maturity) then the guy is often taking advantage of the mental age of the girl.

    Don't want to get preachy here. But I'd say wait it out. It's your senior year of high school! Find a guy who can enjoy your senior year WITH you!

  2. #12
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    When you are young, that is a big age gap, but when you get older, it won't be. Wait.

  3. #13
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    Dec 2010
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    Quote Originally Posted by siennamoonshine View Post
    You have to wonder why he chooses someone younger and underage. Sometimes, the truth goes beyond the 'He thinks I'm mature for my age' scenario. You have no idea if he's seeing someone else close to where he is at the same time. Men are notorious for this and think its okay, as long as the two of you have no formal commitment.
    This. Everytime I've seen this situation, it's never been good. Of course he's interested....why wouldn't he be? But if he's 4 hours away asking for more than you're willing to give, then he's already given you his true motive. I've never seen a man that's truly interested in a lasting relationship with a woman that insists on "more" before She's ready.
    I saw a friend go through a similar situation. He was older, she was a senior in highschool. He wrapped her up, even married her, gave her a few kids and now they're divorced. He'd been a sweettalker but ended up being very controlling. Pretty hard for her to find a new man willing to take on her kids now...

    Another situation I've witnessed. He was older, Always talked to younger girls. Got one pregnant and I don't know....maybe she got too old for him, because now he's moved on to another young girl.

    Anyway, long story, but my point is....if you have to ask and you're seeing Red flags...too old or NOT, this does not sound like a good situation to get involved in. Men can be charming, doesn't mean they should get the prize.
    ~Live each moment of your life; Laugh just for the hell of it; Love everyone.~

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  4. #14
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    I am in the same situation. Im 16 he is 19. I will be 17 this year and he will be 20 next year (then I will be 1 I treat him like any other guy I meet. I dont think he is too old but of course we are friends right now and its best not to rush regardless of that persons age unless you feel comfortable. But I agree if you have to ask then maybe so. Besides being just friends gives you time to build a close relationship and you will know if its best to move foward or remain friends or even communicate at all!

  5. #15
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    Mar 2012
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    Quote Originally Posted by diamonddollfab View Post
    I Saw The Thread Nappz92 Posted & I Have The Same Type Of Problem.


    I Like This Guy And It Seems Like He Likes Me.
    I'll Be 17 In A Few Days & He'll Be 20 This Year...
    Hes A Sophomore In College & Im A Senior..

    He Makes It Apparent That He Likes Me But, I Dont Know What To Do...He Goes To School 4 Hours Away...

    I Dont Wanna Mess Up Our Friendship. I Like Him ALOT ALOT ! But It Feels Like Im Not Interested But I Am.
    Its Just It Seems Like In Every way He Wants More Than Im Willing To Give Him.

    What Do I Do!?!?!
    Being personally in the situation, you are unable to see that what you have written in your post is the reason he is after you: The two of you are at different developmental stages. You have a lot of maturing to do. You are not relatively sophisticated in worldly matters like the coed young women at his college campus/job. That is the reason you should be leaning on a caring adult, preferably a parent or grandparent, to guide you through these vulnerable teen years.
    You say you are 16yo and he is 19yo - which, on the surface, sounds like: 'only three years apart - that's not so bad'. But it is - because he is presently where you need to be focussed on getting; out of high school at the end of the upcoming academic year, on time, without summer school makeup classes - and with a Diploma, not just a Certificate or struggling to pass a GED Examination as an adult a few years from now.

    It is understandable that an inexperienced teenage girl can fly high on the feelings that male attention/flattery causes. But this is a very vulnerable time in your development; one misstep now can permanently alter the course of your life [and his - but mostly yours].

    WARNING: If you take steps toward fulfilling his "wanting more than you are willing to give him", your category will then change - to that of the aforementioned female classmates/colleagues - who are at the same life stage as he is, but to whom he is not (to your knowledge) flirting - which will cause him to lose interest and withdraw his affections - causing you to have loss of self-esteem, anxiety, and sadness. These feelings are enough to cause you to have school difficulty, whether or not you have been impregnated. With one year of high school left, you cannot afford to take a chance on a drop in your grades.

    Has your family met him? Do they even know about his attentions toward you? If not, they should. The exposure can save you both a lot of problems.
    Have you met his family? Do they even know about his attentions toward you? If not, they should. The exposure can save you both a lot of problems.

  6. #16
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    My boyfriend is 19 and i'm 21. :*
    It doesn't really matter to us, because i'm always being mistaken for younger...

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