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  1. #1
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    Default Empty Nest, I'm Scared

    As of today my mom is an empty nester. We are moving my lillte brother into his dorm later this morning. I know she will put on a strong front this morning but break down in tears later and I have a strong feeling that she will end the evening with an anxiety attack. Her health is not the best nor is her neighborhood but she refuses to move. As a youth, I ran the house; took care of my little brothers, cooked, cleaned, made sure the bills were paid, made sure she had and took her meds. When I moved out my little brother assumed many of my old duties. Now mom is gonna be alone and I'm scared for her.

    Any empty nesters out there? How did you handle the transition? Is there anything I can do to make this easier for her?
    (I'm not 40 & beyond but thought you ladies may have more insight on this topic. Mods, please move if necessary)
    "I am not tragically colored." ~Zora Neale Hurston

  2. #2
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    Well, your mom should be happy that her son is going off to college. That is a major accomplishment and she should be proud of that. I was an empty nester and single when my only child went off to college and boy did I cry when I went into that empty bedroom after I came back home from her school. I didn't know what I was going to do.
    But I cleaned her room, went off to work, met with friends, cooked dinner for my bf, traveled more with my job...and I started thinking more about the things which made me happy which I hadn't done in years. In other words, I just got on with my life. I always miss having my little girl here with me but in reality I know my life has changed and I am responsible for myself alone. I do not know the full extent of your mom's health but I hope that she can find a way to get to the other side of the empty nest syndrome. And realize that this is her time to take care of herself and make herself healthy and happy. Perhaps you can help her remember some of those things which she has deferred while you were growing up. But the best thing you can do is to live your life and prosper. She'll love that you are all doing okay and will be fine.
    Good luck.
    Last edited by lin19lyn; 08-25-2011 at 04:00 PM.
    BC'd: June 2010
    Last perm: End of 2009

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by HappyNappy0210 View Post
    When I moved out my little brother assumed many of my old duties. Now mom is gonna be alone and I'm scared for her.
    Does you mother have a documented condition or disability? Are you concerned mainly about her emotional "empty nest syndrome" or are you really concerned about her ability to live and function day to day? Does she need help with cooking, cleaning, medication, etc?

    If she is getting disability or other benefits, she may be eligible for a home health aide.
    No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -Eleanor Roosevelt

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by lin19lyn View Post
    Perhaps you can help her remember some of those things which she has deferred while you were growing up. But the best thing you can do is to live your life and prosper. She'll love that you are all doing okay and will be fine.
    Good luck.
    Great advice. I'm looking into season tickets for the local theaters and museums so she can not make excuses to just sit in the house.
    "I am not tragically colored." ~Zora Neale Hurston

  5. #5
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    Mom has hpyertension and Graves disease which is pretty well controlled with medication. It's the gout that worries me because when it flares, she has a hard time getting around on her own. Emotionally, she has held up better than I expected. Time will tell.
    "I am not tragically colored." ~Zora Neale Hurston

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