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  1. #11
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    @Azalee...I can understand how you feel but from the opposite side. I've been guilty of this lately. Not manipulative but just mean. So I find myself telling my daughter and boyfriend how I'm feeling and please don't take it personally. Most times when they (really the menopause) are working my nerves I find a book and go lay my butt down. Also, the past couple of weeks (because of what I've been reading on here and other sources) I've been working out on the regular, taking my vitamins, drinking my water and eating better. I will definately say that it helps. I hope that you continue to be patient with your mom. But I know you will because you care enough to ask about the situation.
    "Don't ever think I fell for you, or over you. I didn't fall in love, I rose in it. I saw you and made up my mind". Toni Morrison

  2. #12
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    I am definitely trying to be- she has gotten so off the chain where she just emailed me a list of complaints she has against me and my brother (who hasn't spoken to her in 7 years for his own reasons) and basically said how she is wished she never had kids because she feels we don't love her and no one is in her corner...blah blah blah...Now because I know my mom- I knew this had to do with money that she needed- so I wrote her back with a sincere apology that she felt that way and I hope she could see what was right rather than wrong...so of course she was all good until she FINALLY said what she wanted- MONEY- so she asked me for money- and I said NO not because I couldn't but b/c I knew the letter was her way to set up a pity party/empathy party for her self to get me to help her. NO NO - not gonna work here... and when I said no- she said I hit the lotto for 6500 and just wanted to see what
    you would say- I told her congratulations and that she really needed help and that was the last I spoke to her
    per her request....

    And basically she has been more than mean- she has been extremely irrational and spiteful. At this point she decided she doesn't want me to contact her- which is fine because I don't need to deal with that behavior but after talking to my aunt- I was wondering is she just crazy and needs to do something about her condition or was this sincerely a hormonal imbalance...I am most willing to work with her but if she sees no flaws in her behavior I have to stay back---

    It's even caused me not to trust her with my daughter because I really don't know what she is capable of...
    Last edited by azalee; 09-29-2011 at 02:31 PM.

  3. #13
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    @At this point she decided she doesn't want me to contact her...For your peace of mind honor her wishes. SHE requested this so she can't come back and try to throw this in your face later. I've recently went through a simuliar situation with my younger sister and she requested the same. No problem. I think of her, pray for her and send well wishes her way....and that suits me just fine. Sad to say but it "seems" as though your Mom (not trying to offend) may have more issues than just Menopause. Just give her some distance and hopefully in time she'll see what she's doing wrong.

    irrational and spiteful...This is my sisters first and middle name...lol.
    "Don't ever think I fell for you, or over you. I didn't fall in love, I rose in it. I saw you and made up my mind". Toni Morrison

  4. #14
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    ^^^ see and that is what I thought- It can't just be menopause b/c I remember my grandmother wasn't this crazy- most grandmothers were pretty good and well-mannered unless you had a sour apple...but you know what i mean- unless this is due to as people get older the menopausal up and downs subside...

  5. #15
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    I've heard it can hit some women really bad but this doesn't seem to be the issue with your mother. Please know that I'm speaking from experience as my mother has Mental Health issues. But I can say that when she went through menopause I barely noticed but my older sister is catching hell. She told me she's fussy and hot all the time. Has anyone tried talking with your mom to see if she'll get evaluated?
    "Don't ever think I fell for you, or over you. I didn't fall in love, I rose in it. I saw you and made up my mind". Toni Morrison

  6. #16
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    I Have tried to encourage her to see someone but nothing is wrong with her...but that's the defense mechanism kicking in because if she admits she may need to get evaluated then that's her admitting something is wrong with her and SHE CAN NEVER BE WRONG. I may send her this article as a "HINT HINT" - she knows she is depressed and has admitted that and has gained so much weight and eats terribly- so I know she knows she got issues but some people who know me and heard the stories think she is bi-polar...I don't really know... But either way she won't go to psychiatric counseling for herself or even to a psychologist for our issues as I have suggested...

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fedyfro View Post
    I was definitely the the throes of perimenopause dealing with the hot flashes and accepting the mood swings, etc. for the last few months then all of a sudden I must have had an estrogen surge. I guess this ride has more twists and turns than I anticipated. I stopped eating meat again and I must do better on the regular exercise front but hey, when it comes, it comes.
    I believe that the same thing happened to me. I missed a period. I was having night sweats, and ready to push, stike and kill something, and then next month BAM!!! Everything seemed normal again. I guess I should enjoy the "normal" while I can.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #18
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    @Azalee...There seems to be more than peri/menopause going on. You know the situation better, you are there. If you feel safeguards need to be in place(e.g. your daughter) than perhaps you should act on them. If she requests you not contact her, then honor her wishes yet have something in place where you can keep check on her. Sorry that you are in a rough place now. Does your Mom show signs of dementia/Alzheimer?
    @Veviticus.. remember how you would sleep when you baby slept? same principle! ~smile~ it will balance out...remember that!! lol lol
    My heart is spoken for.


  9. #19
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    ^^Msretta- thank you ...and no signs of dementia- it seems more like PURE crazy or some type of depression that causes her to lash out...

  10. #20
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    Azalee, you are welcome. Take care.
    My heart is spoken for.


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