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Thread: Teaching 12 yr old to do hair...
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03-19-2012, 08:38 PM #1
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Teaching 12 yr old to do hair...
Okay, so I have a VERY strong belief that a young girl of 12 years of age is old enough to start learning how to do her own hair. To give you a little background, by the time I was 12, I was wearing hair pieces, applying perms (shouldn't have been, but I was) and making evry attempt to keep my hair looking fly, some of which FAILED. at any rate, had I not done these things, being the daughter of divorced, working parents, who KNOWS what my hair might have looked like. I mean, my mom made an effort, but she was very busy.
anywhoo, fast forward to 2012 and I have a 12 year old (born in the year 2000 if you're wondering) and we had one of very FEW successful events with her doing her OWN hair. She actually twisted her hair under my careful tutelage and though she did not like the results, she WAS able to do a very cute twistout the next day. I strugglw with guilt because I KNOw that managing natural hair is not as easy, much less doing it at 12. Has anyone else gone through this? How did you encourage your child? I made sure to tell her along the way what a great job she was doing and she did love her hair this morning. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.Visit my blog: fragilehaircare-gilroygal.blogspot.com
I share about my natural hair happenings, lessons, and experiences.
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03-19-2012, 08:59 PM #2
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I started doing my hair around 9yrs old. Mind you it was only decent enough to stay indoors when I started. By the time I was twelve I did myself for daily wear, with help for special events. Some days it was better than others but I got there in the end.
I'd say your doing the right thing. She's just approaching the age to start finding her own style, so it seems a good time for her to learn the basics.
DeBe
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03-19-2012, 09:05 PM #3
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I began doing my own hair around 9-10. I had 3 relatives do hair, so I watched them as they 'did' someone's hair. It was understood what the expectation was...and for me, once I began the sixth grade, my mom told me to do my own hair. Many times, it didn't look it's best...but I survived! Only on special days [holidays, etc] did she do my hair.
You're doing the right thing.
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03-19-2012, 09:28 PM #4
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I think I was doing my own (permed) hair before 12, maybe single digit ages. My mom knew what she was doing but I had to learn for the weekends that I went to stay with my dad.
What helped was me trying myself and then asking my mom for help. I needed her to show me or give me tips but not try to do it. You'll have to let her figure out her way of doing things. I just had to do stuff over and over and over again. There was a lot of frustration but eventually I got it.GOT PANK??
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03-19-2012, 10:59 PM #5
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My daughter is 13 and I started thinking the same way as you when she was twelve--I even vlogged about it.
Her hair is super thick and the back stretches down to her waist. She has over 50% shrinkage. She watches me like a hawk and is pretty good at styling her twists and braids BUT I haven't had her detangle her loose hair yet. She's retwisted old twists several times. Her braiding is still too loose for small braids. She just needs patience and practice.
I've asked her how she feels about it and she has said that she knows her day of independence is coming soon and she just wants to enjoy my care while she can. When I work on her hair and her sisters' hair I'm constantly telling her what I'm doing. She watches all of my YouTube videos. I will probably have to push her out of the nest. I plan to do it this summer.
I'm overwhelmed for her because she has SO MUCH HAIR. It's gorgeous hair, but I'm intimidated for her because it will be awkward at first. I think she'll do fine. I keep telling myself I have to let her experience her own fumbles, find her own methods--sometimes it's the best teacher.Last edited by NeverGiveup; 03-19-2012 at 11:01 PM.
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03-20-2012, 11:17 AM #6
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I used to do my mum's hair from age 10 or so, doing my own hair was a natural step plus amongst my social circle it was a badge of honour to do your own hair (most of us were natural haired) once you started secondary school (age 11 in the UK). Even when perming started to be the in thing doing your own hair was the thing to do by the time you reached 12.
To Nevergiveup even if your daughter has a lot of hair the thing to do is not act in front of her as if one is overwhelmed or afraid of it, that's the first step to afropsycosis.http://public.fotki.com/Lockyladyden
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03-20-2012, 11:07 PM #7
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Thanks ladies! SHE DID HER OWN TWISTS!! Of course, I "helped" a bit, but her twists actually look BETTER than mine. She even wore them outside AND she liked them!! We are making headway!!
Visit my blog: fragilehaircare-gilroygal.blogspot.com
I share about my natural hair happenings, lessons, and experiences.
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03-21-2012, 01:55 AM #8
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I think 12 is a good age to start. I was not doing my hair at 12, but my mother felt I had too much hair to get through (she might have been right - I still have a hard time!), and she got a relaxer put in when I was 12. I think I started doing my own relaxed hair at 13. My older daughter is 12 (she'll be 13 in June), and while she SAYS she wants to do her own hair, getting her to actually take the time to do it is a different story. I can't even get her to wear a bonnet consistently.
My position is actually very similar to NeverGiveup's. My daughter has a massive amount of hair that is down her back, and because of this, I question her ability to do it well (even though she helped me twist MY hair a while ago, and some of her twists were tighter than mine! . The couple of times I've asked her to detangle her hair, only the outsides are half-way detangled - she never gets the roots or the middle section. She just can't get through it all!! She can put it in a decent ponytail, which works a lot of the time, and she can help me to twist her hair, but I think we've got a little while before she can take over all of her hair styling.
Yay for your baby doing her twists!! That's wonderful!
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03-21-2012, 02:54 PM #9
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Well, she doesn't detangle, yet. We had a fiasco with me allowing her to wear shrunken fros, and even though her hair is not massively thick, it had KNOTS glaore, which I combed out while the hair was DRENCHED in conditioner! I wouldn't out that on her. She wanted to keep wearing the fros, but that style is REALLY hard on her hair, so for now, twists it is. Cornrows tend to aggravate her scalp (she has a condition similar to mine), and at least with twists she can pull it back into a ponytail if she so desires.
Visit my blog: fragilehaircare-gilroygal.blogspot.com
I share about my natural hair happenings, lessons, and experiences.
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03-22-2012, 05:26 AM #10
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http://www.chocolatehairvanillacare....beginners.html
Show her this link. It's for folks that are totally new to their black children's hair, so I think she'll be able to get something out of it since she's just starting to do it for herself. HTH
I'm not a psychopath, Anderson. I'm a high functioning sociopath. Do your research.- Sherlock
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