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Thread: Are we afraid to say it?
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04-09-2012, 12:12 PM #11
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On my first round of becoming natural, I STRUGGLED to no end. On my second go at it. I made sure that I was highly informed and spent ALOT of time learning. Now I know what it takes for my hair and scalp to be in great condition and easliy managed. When something doesnt work for me I ditch it, quick. I feel and know exactly where you are coming from. Now I feel like "I made it". This is my honest personal experience.
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04-09-2012, 12:40 PM #12
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ITA with both of these.
I don't struggle with my hair. It was a little rough in the very beginning and I have my ups and downs but 3 years later, it's not a struggle. I get tired of doing it sometimes and there are still plenty of times when I have no clue how a style will turn out but all of these same things happened when I was relaxed. So no, I'm not going to tell someone that natural hair is a struggle. I'd tell them that it does take work (like everything else in life) and that while it's not always easy to manage it's not always so hard. I've also told people that if they work with their hair and not against it a lot of things would become easier.
I think when people talk about all of the work and struggle they might be comparing it to what they dealt with while wearing a relaxer (or weaves). For me, maintaining longer healthy relaxed hair was not a walk in the park. The wash, condition, blow dry, oil, flat iron and wrap session took hours! And if you're used to wearing weaves and not doing your hair then it might be a struggle since you're not used to really doing a lot with your hair anyway.
The other day my co-worker said "I'm going to wear an afro so I don't have to comb my hair." I just chuckled and walked off thinking "You ALWAYS have some type of weave in so you aren't combing your hair anyway." I hope she grows her hair out just to see that she won't get away with never combing or doing something to it.
I think if you're talking to people and all you're talking about is the work, the struggle and how it's not easy/is hard to manage then folks are going to think just that. I guess if our experiences with our hair are different then conversations about our hair will be different, since you can't speak on something that you haven't gone through.GOT PANK??
Beauty is not defined by the masses, but by the opinion of the individual ~Rune Leknes
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04-09-2012, 12:46 PM #13
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I think the reason some people view caring for or styling natural hair as difficult is because on a whole, we are still learning what works. Because of relaxer usage at an early age, most of us don't have years of practice, so doing our natural textured hair is not second nature. In contrast, people with non textured hair have had centuries of practice and know what works and how the hair behaves under different circumstances. It would seem that if we had access to the information and practices that would have been passed down, we would be further ahead in knowing how to work with our natural texture(s).
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04-09-2012, 01:58 PM #14OG PANK Panther
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I find my natural hair much easier to handle than relaxed hair. I paid a hairdresser to look after it because I didnt want to have to and i could never achieve the same results on my own. Being natural i do everything myself because I can...i wash and condition as often as it needs without spending hours blowdrying and flat ironing and tonging
For me being natural has been freedom
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04-09-2012, 02:03 PM #15
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I rather have my struggles with it in its natural state as opposed to having a chemical. Personally, I have grown to love the struggles because it makes me realize thats what makes my hair that more unique. I have had people tell me now that you can wear a ponytail and have more length, time to straighten it and thats what insults me. my 2 cents
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04-09-2012, 02:08 PM #16
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Agree with most of the above.
I remember when I was assigned to a certain lab, and the lab supervisor was Asian, married to a black man, and she said her daughter's hair looked bad because she was overwhelmed by it, but her black babysitter found it so easy to make it look like a princess' hair. I told her frankly that the secret is managing it in sections, and keeping it in a sectioned, plaited style at all times - otherwise end up spending needless time and energy. She said nobody had told her that before!
Regarding hair length, I agree that heredity [in all races] has a lot more to do with it than people are willing to admit. I also agree that a lot of people [in all races] are fighting their own hairtype in order to achieve a certain look or style. This of course, leads to frustration and the notion that they "cannot" go natural, or (perhaps worse) the notion that "only people with nice hair look decent natural - everybody else needs to fix it". For persons with African ancestry, this inevitably means discussion of attempts to alter the hair structure.
I find it takes less time and energy to manage my hair in its natural state than it did when I had chemically altered hair; I can do everything at home, combining it with a shower, instead of going to a salon, waiting, spending at least two hours after I am called, then still having to buy and use a bunch of products that contain harmful ingredients just to maintain the look. I admit that I am content to have my daily style go along with how my hair naturally falls - so there isn't much effort after it is moisturized.
The only thing I beg to differ with on this thread so far is the notion that Europeans and Asians have an easier time than Africans once severe tangles set in. NOT! I have personally observed that once these hairtypes have become stinky, matted and knotted from neglect, - same as ours - they have to be cut off and started afresh.
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04-09-2012, 02:30 PM #17
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^^^^ That right there.
I don't identify with having a struggle with my natural hair and a big reason why my long term transition was virtually effortless and stress free was because of how I incorportated protective styling into my routine. I really did not allow any room to frequently manipulate and thus become frustrated with my textures. Protective styling > loose for two weeks > protective styling - that was my routine.
Even when I was relaxed I despised manipulating my own hair - never owned a curling iron or flat iron. I was a treatment and roller set/doobi wrap girl. I didn't even like gel in my hair.
While I will read and be respectful to eveyone's views about their respective struggles, I think much of that stress can be mitigated if certain routines are incorporated esp in the initial phases.Loc'ed and Lovely!
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04-09-2012, 02:40 PM #18
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Also to add, i feel like I maintain my styles with length easily. Now if I want to take it a step further, I can have beautiful "minimal maint." hair. I love locs and TWAs. Lots of different options.
Mango Smoothie...try one.
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04-09-2012, 02:45 PM #19
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I don't like messing with my hair and I will never put a chemical in it. I found when it was longer and loose, I spent more time than I cared to on it. Later on, I found out that traditionally, in many parts of Africa, people did spend quite a bit of time on the styling and maintenance of hair. which made me think that yes, if your hair is not bone straight, it will take a bit more effort to care for it. You can make it sort of a ritual and embrace that (change your perspective) or complain about it. When I read about the list of products some folks use and their hair care routines and they describe it as "easy", I tend to roll my eyes but that is their perspective and how they see it. I have no desire to go through tons of products to find what works or to even spend 15 minutes doing anything to it. Too much effort for me at this time and I am very honest about it. I don't feel like that's something to be ashamed about. When I had loose hair, I wasn't trying to get it to do things that my straight hair could do. And because of my texture, protective styles just wouldn't last that long. I could get *maybe* three days out of a double strand twist which could take me up to an hour to do. Again, too much time, effort and attention that I just didn't have. So I locked it which was great (and many other naturals lock it for precisely that reason--it's a very low effort style). And now I wear it very short. Everyone's experience of their hair will be different because everyone is different. The fact that you are still natural despite finding it time-consuming or difficult to style speaks volumes about your commitment to wearing what grows out of your head. That says that you believe it's beautiful and worthwhile.
Where there's a will, there's a way (my blog about living naturally and simply, mothering, and homemaking)
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04-09-2012, 03:03 PM #20
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This is where I'm coming from. Natural hair isn't any more difficult than any other type of hair. It really hinges on what you want to do with your hair.
My hair regimen is simple. I co-wash, seal it, twist it up in either a few big twists, when I'm pressed for time, or in smaller twists which will later become a twist out and go. To be honest, it's been the two or four big twists that I pin back and I just go. Simple.
I really do think it's more about just the learning curve of how to deal with it, which a new mom is going to struggle with, and what you're trying to do. If you're trying for some intricate style, then that's just more difficult. If you're going for something that's wash and go, well, that's going to be easy.
Well said."The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it." - Chinese Proverb
"Fall seven times a day, stand up eight." - Japanese Proverb
“All truth is good, but not all truth is good to say.” - African Proverb
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