User Tag List

Thanks Thanks:  0
Likes Likes:  0
Page 4 of 9 FirstFirst ... 23456 ... LastLast
Results 31 to 40 of 89
  1. #31
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Da Beach
    Posts
    313
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    11

    Default

    I think checking your hair length is a validation that you are giving your hair what it needs. So many of us are seeing our natural hair for the first time since childhood and a lot of us are looking for the perfect hair routine. We talk about it constantly on this site and others. When I do a length check it is validation that my hair routine is working. That I am giving my hair what it needs to retain length. It's no different than getting on the scale to check my weight, taking vitamins and eating well to stay healthy. Looking at your body to see if your workout routine is building muscle. I just had a complete physical to make sure all my body systems are functioning properly. Hair is a part of our body and it should be checked regularly to make sure it is in good health. Length retention is one way to measure that. Not saying that some people aren't length obsessed just saying there are different reasons for checking ones length.

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Houston
    Posts
    136
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberlocs71 View Post
    I think checking your hair length is a validation that you are giving your hair what it needs. So many of us are seeing our natural hair for the first time since childhood and a lot of us are looking for the perfect hair routine. We talk about it constantly on this site and others. When I do a length check it is validation that my hair routine is working. That I am giving my hair what it needs to retain length. It's no different than getting on the scale to check my weight, taking vitamins and eating well to stay healthy. Looking at your body to see if your workout routine is building muscle. I just had a complete physical to make sure all my body systems are functioning properly. Hair is a part of our body and it should be checked regularly to make sure it is in good health. Length retention is one way to measure that. Not saying that some people aren't length obsessed just saying there are different reasons for checking ones length.
    I completely agree. Also, saying "long and beautiful" doesn't mean that someone's hair is "beautiful because it's long." People can have long, ugly hair or short, beautiful hair, etc. I don't think the OP did anything wrong. Her friend was wack for making that comment. She's obviously the one with the hair complex (verified by what the OP said about her hiding her hair).
    "Tout ce qui est nouveau est de ce fait automatiquement traditionnel."

    http://public.fotki.com/m0i-meme/

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    6,214
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    32

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by underthehood View Post
    .... Rest assured, your daughter will not have a crisis over hair, ....
    We don't know that, but if she did let's hope she doesn't have a melt down.

    Both the OP and her friend expressed their views pertaining to hair.... and may view each other as having issues: complex/obsession. ** shrugs ** Folks post pictures and captions to the public for what? IMO to get a reaction otherwise they would keep it to themselves. It's an issue because the reaction was unexpected, the OP's probably defensive with anything concerning her daughter, and the comment came from a close friend. When we post in a public forum we open ourselves up to any and everything. If folks can't deal with the feedback, don't post.

  4. #34
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Oakland
    Posts
    8,656
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    30

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzziwuz View Post
    Both the OP and her friend expressed their views pertaining to hair.... and may view each other as having issues: complex/obsession. ** shrugs ** Folks post pictures and captions to the public for what? IMO to get a reaction otherwise they would keep it to themselves. It's an issue because the reaction was unexpected, the OP's probably defensive with anything concerning her daughter, and the comment came from a close friend. When we post in a public forum we open ourselves up to any and everything. If folks can't deal with the feedback, don't post.
    ^^^
    True, but it's also a learning curve. It's something I deal with daily because I post a lot and now I'm post as others (for work).

    You have to be ready to handle negative responses accordingly. Something you think is no big deal or innocent can set someone off. You can share a series of stories, pics or quotes and someone then draws a conclusion from what is, at best, a minor slice of your life. That stuff is still fairly unpredictable.

    People learn how to navigate around it. The exchange shocked the OP enough that she wanted to vent and get feedback. That's okay too.
    "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it." - Chinese Proverb

    "Fall seven times a day, stand up eight." - Japanese Proverb

    “All truth is good, but not all truth is good to say.” - African Proverb

  5. #35
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    12,565
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    34

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzziwuz View Post
    We don't know that, but if she did let's hope she doesn't have a melt down.

    Both the OP and her friend expressed their views pertaining to hair.... and may view each other as having issues: complex/obsession. ** shrugs ** Folks post pictures and captions to the public for what? IMO to get a reaction otherwise they would keep it to themselves. It's an issue because the reaction was unexpected, the OP's probably defensive with anything concerning her daughter, and the comment came from a close friend. When we post in a public forum we open ourselves up to any and everything. If folks can't deal with the feedback, don't post.
    It's funny you should mention this Fuzzi. Someone else mentioned this same sentiment recently. Both of you have a good point.

  6. #36
    bhop13's Avatar
    bhop13 is offline Active Nappturality Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    10,490
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    29

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Scribetastic
    I agree. I have no issues with positive feedback and, honestly? We as a group and culture need to get in the habit of doing it more.
    ITA. I think if the OP had said something negative or just not positive her friend's response would have been different.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzziwuz

    We don't know that, but if she did let's hope she doesn't have a melt down.

    Both the OP and her friend expressed their views pertaining to hair.... and may view each other as having issues: complex/obsession. ** shrugs ** Folks post pictures and captions to the public for what? IMO to get a reaction otherwise they would keep it to themselves. It's an issue because the reaction was unexpected, the OP's probably defensive with anything concerning her daughter, and the comment came from a close friend. When we post in a public forum we open ourselves up to any and everything. If folks can't deal with the feedback, don't post.
    Or maybe people don't have to say any and everything that comes to mind. Sometimes people are way too wrapped up in expressing their views, opinions, thoughts, etc. It's really not a free pass to be rude and disrespectful...well it is for some.
    GOT PANK??
    Beauty is not defined by the masses, but by the opinion of the individual ~Rune Leknes
    http://public.fotki.com/bhop13/




  7. #37
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    1,582
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    13

    Default

    Length of hair has always been a 'big deal' to lots of women and men alike in our community. When I wore waist length yarn braids to the club I was the center of attention and always had a dance partner. Since my bc last time I went in with my girlfriends I was treated as a pariah and unspoken to all night and ya know what? Its all good cause SO isn't stuck in this fantasy land where value is measured in hair. Not to say OP feels that way especially since she says she does not. Who the hell is anyone else to be telling her that she indeed does have an obsession with length or what she should and shoild not be saying to her child pr that she needs to do this and that?
    Yeah. I said it.

  8. #38
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    235
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    To the OP, people check (or don't check) hair length for a variety of reasons. Your friend seems to have taken away a message of hair length to you implies some sort of self-worth.

    I say you know your motivation, you know your experiences with your child so who cares what anyone thinks?

    I think the bigger message is that anything you post for others to see is open to scrutiny (just like this post). Some will like, some will dislike, some won't even care.

    You definitely have a right to be annoyed when you're inclined to disagree with someone's comment but don't put too much energy into it. Throw out a nice internal eye roll and keep it moving.
    New Fotki Updated Aug. 10, 2008 - Come check it out!

    Last CFC - Dec. 2006
    BC - Mar. 17, 2007

  9. #39
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    729
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    11

    Default

    I personally think your friend is tripping...I would think you daughter's hair suddenly falling out might just bother her a little. I know I would miss my hair if I just woke up and it was gone(there is a huge difference between choice and it just happening). I also like having long hair. Yet, that has never stopped me from cutting it even to the point of cutting it all off in the past. I even had people always going on about my "long pretty" hair. But now that my hair is showing length again I frequently get to hear how much better I looked with short hair. It actually gets on my nerves a little but I like long hair and I'm not ashamed of it and I don't see an issue with saying I like MY hair long. Therefore, I'm not cutting it. I don't care who liked it short...that is until I feel like cutting it. I think that women should feel free and guilt free to choose whatever hairstyle they choose. I could get all into gender issues and such but I am well aware that my history research has been slowly been leading toward lots of reading concerning gender and race...so I can get a little extra worked up sometimes(at least more worked up than most folks I know would get), lol...or not lol *serious angry face* :P
    "Ad astra per alia porci"-John Steinbeck

  10. #40
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Philly! Philly!
    Posts
    3,452
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    16

    Default

    If this person is really a friend I am sure she was offering what she thought was helpful advice based upon her own experiences. I had long hair growing up and never had any issues growing my hair after it was cut and I had A LOT of issues with girls who were jealous of my hair, even though I didn't think my hair was a big deal at all. Hair length is an issue for many women and girls in our community and your friend was probably just coming from that point of view when she made her statement.
    "To whom much is given much is required."

Page 4 of 9 FirstFirst ... 23456 ... LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •