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Thread: How to advise

  1. #1
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    Post How to advise

    First, I would like to celebrate my three year anniversary of my big chop. It was June 27th. I know...late right. However, when you work 40 plus hours a week things are easily forgotten.

    Anyhow ladies, I have a problem. I have an older sister who went natural this past year.( hand claps) She was inspired to embrace her natural texture and loves. However, I see what she likes to do to her hair It is not so pleasant. One, she doesn't sleep with a satin bonnet or scarf. Can you say a pain it urks me.Enough about my ranting, she likes to use the carefree curl creme that comes in a yellow bottle with red writing, and then use prostyle gel to smooth into a ponytail and add kankelon hair to the ponytail to make a bun. I would like to ask how would I tell her what she is doing to her hair isn't right. But as they would say she does what works for her busy schedule but it is not the best way. I would also like to point, she likes when i do my twists, mini twist, twist outs and box braids. But not on herself. It has me confused. Also, she thinks a fro is not a professional looking?....

    Then I have a little sister, who is the process of transition. However, she buys products like she is relaxed fully. She straightens her hair every week.She has about an inch or so of new growth. I tell her that straighten every week isn't good although she uses a heat protect-ant. SMDH. I told her about looking on you tube for styling options, she doesnt like the curly girl "look". which I find odd if you are going to go natural. She states," she don't want to buy expensive products like me" I laugh.... I am a recovering product junkie. I have started to change my habits.

    So ladies, how do I advise my oh sooooo stubborn sisters about being a newly natural

  2. #2
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    Your intentions are honorable, but I really do try to hold back on giving advice unless asked for it. People are stubborn and often need to make mistakes before being open to receiving help.

  3. #3
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    OP: I appreciate your wanting to help lil' sis and Big Sis out, but don't give advice. Showing by example will pay off dividends.









  4. #4
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    ok. But at times they ask me and dont listen. I think I'll just lead more by example maybe, then they might listen.

  5. #5
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    That's a good idea.

    Also...Um...amourese, maybe it's my computer. But I found the font that you're using a bit challenging to read.
    "Coal mining is harder [than writing]. Do you think miners stand around all day talking about how hard it is to mine for coal? They do not. They simply dig."
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  6. #6
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    Some people gotta get burn in order to learn. Let them be but when they ask give them a good lesson

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Claire76 View Post
    That's a good idea.

    Also...Um...amourese, maybe it's my computer. But I found the font that you're using a bit challenging to read.
    No, not just you. It's hard to read.
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  8. #8
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    Don't advise them on anything. There is no right or wrong way to wear your hair natural or otherwise. Let your sisters do their thing and you do you. If they ask for advice, give it. Other than that. Leave it alone. Not worth it.

  9. #9
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    Don't advise, leave them alone. If they ask.for your suggestions, give it to them, and them let them proceed how they choose. Just because they don't care for their hair the way you would it use the products you think are best doesn't make them wrong.
    "Love is patient and kind, Love is not jealous, conceited, proud or boastful, it is not arrogant, selfish, irritable or rude. Love does not keep a record of wrongs. Love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth, Love never gives up , and its faith, hope and patience never fail. Love is eternal." - 1 Corinthians 13 :))

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    Hair is different and individual. Products that jack my head up might work great for my sisters. Even people here who are all napptural sometimes still find good use out of the same products they used on their relaxed hair.

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