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  1. #11
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    ^Soul, I would have never thought to do that: an exit interview. That's a great ideal! Let me see if I can set that up next week.

    My supervisor is a bit of an emotional case. She's not a bad person, but she's so self absorbed (I've known this since day one of working with her). I would have never in a hundred years thought of her trying to sabotage me, but now that I'm leaving, she's shown her true colors. Even after I explained to her why I'm leaving behind closed doors, it's like she still refuses to understand why I'm leaving a 5 to 15 hour a week super unstable job with no security, no benefits, no chance of getting a rise in pay, and a very reduced chance of moving up (budget cuts and removal of positions) for another job that offers way more hours, benefits, offers tuition reimbursement, stability, and chance of moving up to a real career and not just a job. I need to support myself; I'm not in high school anymore when working a few hours a week meant I can get that new hello kitty outfit and a few pocky snacks for school. No, this is my livelihood we're talking about. I've literally been eating beans and rice with water for WEEKS because after I pay bills, I have no money to buy fancy food like reduced price frozen chicken and green beans in a dented, rusted can. My supervisor doesn't want me to leave because I wear so many hats at my job. I loved my current job and gave it my all, but it's time for me to move on. I gave my two weeks notice, and I'm still working hard even though I'm wasting more on gas than what I'm earning in a week. It honestly feels like my supervisor is putting her personal issues and insecurities on me instead of keeping it professional. Honestly, I don't trust her in giving me a reference...maybe a few years from now, but as of now she's just not in the right frame of mind. I can use the HR number, but if my future employer wants to contact a former supervisor, I'm going to be honest and state my situation.
    By NP member Vavoon. This is me 24/7/365 lol

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kurliez View Post
    ...I caught my supervisor telling a small group of folks in the hall to not talk about me to perspective employers. She told them, "Don't give Kurliez a reference if anyone calls for her." .....

    So why in the hell's kitchen don't I deserve a good reference (or one at all)? I gave good work. I have nothing but positive reviews in my record. My current employer is only going to get dates on me and not a reference.
    Your work speaks for itself. One can't predict what type of reference a supervisor will provide unless she directly stated, nor do we know what questions a business may ask. Verifying employment is all that's required for some. For your supervisor to issue a staff directive, as well as you asking your coworkers for a reference, speaks volumes. Although some employees vouch for each other, I wouldn't label my coworkers because they refuse. From my understanding it's okay to ask coworkers for a character reference, not job... they are not your supervisor. So it's understandable why some may feel uncomfortable. As for your work environment, IMO folks seem cliquish and supervisors appear to be on the same level as employees when there should be some separation. I wouldn't expect much from the staff in this type of environment nor rely on a coworker to vouch for me. People smile in your face and stab in the back ... just because.

    Anywho, I just don't get how employers can really trust other employers' references.


    It's an issue with time.... which they don't have. Reading resumes, scheduling, interviewing, selecting and training in addition to regular responsibilities are time consuming. Relying on a referral from contacts, eliminates a process... background already checked. Saves time and money. Other employers rely on vibes or take the time and find candidates by the book. Secondly, employers trust other employers and may sense safety with the referral (new employee). It's a professional reflection.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Soul Rebel View Post
    ....I've had points in my career where I didn't have enough references to play the reference shuffle game and I had to list even those that were iffy. In the first case I just directed people to HR for dates.
    That's what I did... HR. I had a situation where an employee and I butt heads and he eventually became my boss. I challenged a thought and in his culture women bow down. Dude was sly and shady as a boss, and as I left he mentioned he was willing to supply references to any inquiry. Although my work speaks for itself, I passed on the references because I didn't trust him to give a decent one. He was underhanded while I worked there, so what's the probablity of him continuing while i'm gone? He's not sabotaging my record. So I directed employment inquiries to HR or my previous boss. Not some power trippin newbie. Sometimes we can be the best employee, but if your superior have issues... plan B.
    Last edited by Fuzziwuz; 08-05-2012 at 10:55 AM.

  4. #14
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    Also, have you ever seen or had a manager and thought, "why would anyone ever hire this person!!"

    It works both ways. Sometimes terrible people get great references. Sometimes people with no leadership or people skills get put in charge of other people.

    And like Fuzzi said, it is a huge time issue. Its very easy to play perfect in an interview, and it takes time to find out what kind of person someone REALLY is. At my last job every single employee hated our manager. And I mean seriously hated. Customers complained about her sometimes. Even our corporate head merchandiser didn't like her, our regional manager didn't like her, but somehow she got the job. On paper she looks great, in interviews she did very well, and she had a good reference (though after talking to her o learned that she left ALL of her jobs on bad terms). We consistently wondered how such a mean, passive aggressive, lazy, unprofessional person could get hired.

    Meanwhile, someone who would've done a much better job maybe didn't get hired because of references. Weird world.

  5. #15
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    ^Yeah, it's a sick, sad world LOL (been watching too much Daria). Now my head hurts from your story HAHA That manager sounds interesting. I use to interview folks to place in volunteer positions, so I understand about timing and costs.

    I know very well about working, people, and obtaining good/great references, but it still intrigues me and makes me shake my head when I face these situations. Even though I've faced cliques and poor employees/management several times over the years, I never seen such fear and cliqueness then at my current job.

    Image being 65, 70 years old and working with other 60,70 somethings acting like "Mean Girls" like back in high school. It'll going to be interesting, I'll say that much.
    Last edited by Kurliez; 08-05-2012 at 08:55 PM.
    By NP member Vavoon. This is me 24/7/365 lol

  6. #16
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    I had a wonderfully perfect interview and got a job offer with a very well established, for profit business, and I start the following Monday. Full time, set schedule, and with bennies.

    I had another interview (an interesting one) last week with a small, seemingly disorganized agency, and the director (Ms. TotallyDazednConfused aka TDnC) who interviewed me was very sweet but totally clueless...and I don't think she was aware of how she came off. Just her mannerisms and tone. "Well...you probably get a job soon with this (this what? I wondered), so I don't know if you'll come, Kandy (Kurliez, Ms. TDnC). Kurliez. It's like...I don't know. I guess......" All I could do was do thisI just told and retold Ms. TDnC I'll work hard and help her get her nonprofit off the ground. She kept brushing me off with "I dunno...I guess...Yeah." I didn't know how to response, so I kept quiet for much of the time.

    Even after I marked on my application a NO for contacting current employer/supervisor, and after I explained my situation on why I advised her to NOT get a reference from my current supervisor/employer because there's current high emotions on me leaving...Ms. TDnC CALLED MY EMPLOYER AND ASKED FOR A REFERENCE early this week, and asked me yesterday with a rather curious tone on why my supervisor didn't give me a good reference.....Really? Just Really?? I thought. I asked Ms. TDnC did she verify my dates. She said, "Yeah, and I was trying to get a reference." I asked if she contacted my three application references (verified and proven great references) on the list and still had my reference letters. She said, "Yeah, They were okay. I guess." Uhm...okay, I thought.

    The reference call set my employer to a real bad mood for the past few days. Needless to say, she was "too busy" to schedule an exit interview with me.

    Anway, Ms.TDnC asked yesterday, "Well...Uhm...Kirby (Kurliez, Ma'am), Yes, Kurliez, can you start tomorrow?" I told her unfortunately I had another job offer came literally just a day before she called me, but I thanked her for giving me the great opportunity to have a chance to work for her. We thanked each other and hang up.

    To be completely honest, I'm glad that the other job offer came in before hers. If no other calls came in this week, I would have probably work for her because it seems like a clerical job I can do, but her vibes *shivers*.

    Unfornately, I wouldn't be able to do the part time school job when school starts up this month. I could ask to be put on the substitute list so my name won't be completely removed.

    Took dang near a year, but I finally got another full time job. Can't complain....coulda been worst.
    By NP member Vavoon. This is me 24/7/365 lol

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kurliez View Post
    ^Soul, I would have never thought to do that: an exit interview. That's a great ideal! Let me see if I can set that up next week.

    My supervisor is a bit of an emotional case. She's not a bad person, but she's so self absorbed (I've known this since day one of working with her). I would have never in a hundred years thought of her trying to sabotage me, but now that I'm leaving, she's shown her true colors. Even after I explained to her why I'm leaving behind closed doors, it's like she still refuses to understand why I'm leaving a 5 to 15 hour a week super unstable job with no security, no benefits, no chance of getting a rise in pay, and a very reduced chance of moving up (budget cuts and removal of positions) for another job that offers way more hours, benefits, offers tuition reimbursement, stability, and chance of moving up to a real career and not just a job. I need to support myself; I'm not in high school anymore when working a few hours a week meant I can get that new hello kitty outfit and a few pocky snacks for school. No, this is my livelihood we're talking about. I've literally been eating beans and rice with water for WEEKS because after I pay bills, I have no money to buy fancy food like reduced price frozen chicken and green beans in a dented, rusted can. My supervisor doesn't want me to leave because I wear so many hats at my job. I loved my current job and gave it my all, but it's time for me to move on. I gave my two weeks notice, and I'm still working hard even though I'm wasting more on gas than what I'm earning in a week. It honestly feels like my supervisor is putting her personal issues and insecurities on me instead of keeping it professional. Honestly, I don't trust her in giving me a reference...maybe a few years from now, but as of now she's just not in the right frame of mind. I can use the HR number, but if my future employer wants to contact a former supervisor, I'm going to be honest and state my situation.

    You sound just like me! In my past. Everyone loved me at all my jobs. I never had any problems. My past job was different. I worked hard, was pleasant but the pay was high school wages. I have bills, student loans, and trying to get my own place. The low pay with no benefits or advancement and time it took to compute there wasn't worth it.The supervisor was always so "nice" to me but then when I told her I was leaving that changed over night. She turned so nasty. I didn't mind the job but its just not working for me anymore. She started to become passive agressive and angry towards me. I just gave my two weeks notice and left. When coming back to drop off my work keys and pick up my review, she didn't give me a review I deserved. It was unfair review. People true colors show. I also don't trust her with a reference. I'm even debating whether to even put this place down on my resume. But I worked hard and did nothing wrong.

  8. #18
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    YAY! Glad it all worked out and you are starting another, better, job soon!

    Exit Interviews were standard at the job where I had mine so Supervisors didn't have the opportunity to be "too busy". But people calling refs anyway even when you clearly say not to isn't all that uncommon (illegal tho it may be, at least in California) so that's another reason I wanted my reference situation to be relatively under control.

    I'm glad that it is now a non-issue for you and that you are now on to bigger and better things!
    It's Cheap to be Pank. Come to the Pank Side.

  9. #19
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    Thanks much, Soul! I'm definitely moving on to bigger and better things

    Mz. Kinkz, I completely understand your situation and thank you for totally getting my post If my job was only for a few short months, I probably would have taken it off my resume...but the job was for almost a year and I don't know how to explain a one year gap in employment.

    I went ahead and took a chance and put it on my resume and place myself out there when interviewers asked the "Why can't we call them?" question. I was blunt but courtesy. I used words like "she was a good supervisor and the agency was very rewarding to work for, but right now is a very emotional time for the agency; down sizing and hours reductions and such. She was honestly sad and distressed to see me go. I really loved my position, but I couldn't support myself with it anymore, so I felt it was time for me to move on." I used this line with two interviews; one totally accepted it (the job I'm in now)...the other was "meh" about it.
    By NP member Vavoon. This is me 24/7/365 lol

  10. #20
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    Sharing a previous post I've written:



    Last week, I respectfully put in a two week notice at my former job and I was instantly fired that day. On the plus side, the following Monday is when I'll start my new job working with pre-k kids (my current interest). Yep, I'm going to really enjoy relaxing and playing my new psp game this weekend.


    Geez Louise. I was trying to leave on professionally good terms, but lost two weeks pay and a possible reference (the director was emotional for some reason). I learned my lesson...I should only give one day notices from now on. Employers are forever shady.


    Every job and volunteer position I had so far has been very rewarding and I learn so much from them. I realized that I'm not much of an administrative or management person. I enjoy working with people (especially the kiddos) and I love educating & helping people. I hope to stay on the path of serving and helping people.
    Last edited by Kurliez; 09-05-2013 at 11:24 PM.
    By NP member Vavoon. This is me 24/7/365 lol

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