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  1. #1
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    Default Detangling woes with dense, long-ish hair

    I've posted several times about detangling and thinking that I've found the perfect routine. However, after just finishing 4+ hours of detangling (using combo of fingers, wide-tooth comb, and Denman w/ loads of conditioner and oil), and it's still not fully detangled, I am so frustrated!! I NEVER wear my hair shrunken anymore, even though I'd really love to. And for the last 3 weeks, I've been wearing mostly buns, with a few days of braid-out pony-puffs. Why, oh why was it STILL full of horrible knots and tangles - many of which I ended up ripping through due to frustration, and not having 6 or more hours to spend gently detangling.

    I know this has been discussed a lot here on NP, and I checked some of the old threads, but I'd really like to find out what's working for those of you with dense, kinky-coily hair that is shoulder length or longer (mine is just past BSL and really dense). Keeping my hair stretched helps, but it seems like stretching with buns won't work as well. I had the most success when I plaited my hair up every night, but fully taking my hair aloose and plaiting it up every night, then taking it aloose again in the morning is just so much manipulation and will probably wreak havoc on my ends.

    Also - what gives you the best slip when you have serious tangles? My hair laughed at my conditioner/oil mixture today - even though I slept in it last night. I think my biggest mistake was wetting my hair before detangling, which I usually don't do, but had to last night. Any & all tips are appreciated!

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  3. #2
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    Girl, I can't thank you enough for posting this question. I've been rocking a bun for the last two weeks because my usual detangling mix is not doing a daggone thing to detangle my hair. I've just been cowashing, separating the biggest tangles, slapping some gel on it and throwing it in a bun.

    I've been thinking about buying a commercial detangling spray, but I only seem to be able to find ones marketed toward kids or those with fine hair. I need something strong enough to take down weeds.

    Hopefully, someone chimes in with some advice.
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    Without shrinkage, my hair's just at shoulder length.

    In the past I learned that I can detangle using water alone. But lately I've been using Herbal Essences Hello Hydration conditioner. It's got great slip. I detangle my hair when it's damp, normally after I've cowashed it. I use tools: a Tangle Teezer and wide toothed comb. Sometimes I supplement with a Denman.

    Regarding my regular routine, I just alternate between using different conditioners--or none at all--and making sure that my hair is damp.

    I work with my hair in sections, rubbing a little conditioner into each section as I go. Normally my hair takes an average of 1-2 hours to detangle.
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  5. #4
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    Of all of the commercial slippery conditioners that I've tried, I've had the most success w/HH. Aloe vera juice + an oil comes in a close second. When detangling, it's fingers first, then my wide toothed comb, then a couple of passes with my trusty TT.

    Like
    CCmom, it is not a good idea for me to wet my hair before detangling...I'm just asking for trouble.









  6. #5
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    ^^Claire and OHR, I see your Hello Hydration and raise you a None of Your Frizzness...

    As much as I love HE HH -- been using it for the better part of the past decade -- for slip HE NOYF is hands-down THE BEST conditioner I've ever used. I think it's this one ingredient -- cyclopentosiloxane or something like that -- that's the ticket. The only problem I have with it is that the scent is strong enough to make your eyes water. I actually like the scent but I only use it when I don't mind my hair having that scent for 3-4 days.

    Other suggestions for you, CCmom (my hair ranges from lip-length in the front to just past CBL in the back):
    - Washing in sections. You probably already do this but I learned the hard way recently that having an "Oh, what the f***" shampoo session will lead to a "What the f***?!?" detangling session later.
    - Oil rinsing. I really should do this more often because it does make a difference.
    - Adding aloe vera juice or gel to whatever you're using to detangle. I'm going to call this the Kimmaytube recommendation because when I modified Giovanni Direct leave-in per her specs suddenly it became an awesome detangler.
    - If I had the money, I would buy another jar of Qhemet Biologics Cocoa Tree Detangling Ghee. That stuff works surprisingly well on my dry hair prior to a wash but I don't like the feel of washing out money afterwards...

    I too am finding that wet detangling isn't a good idea at this length without some kind of slippery product added. I also find that for me finger-detangling isn't enough...I get as far as I can and then I pull out the shower comb and (maybe) the Denman.
    It's 2020...do you know where you're going to?

  7. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by LBellatrix View Post
    ^^Claire and OHR, I see your Hello Hydration and raise you a None of Your Frizzness...
    I've used the NOYF leave-in conditioner, but I don't like the filmy feel afterwards...and this is after using it on totally wet hair. Maybe I should try the NOYF conditioner?

    Quote Originally Posted by LBellatrix View Post
    - Washing in sections.
    Yep...this has saved my life.
    Quote Originally Posted by LBellatrix View Post
    - Oil rinsing. I really should do this more often because it does make a difference.
    Agreed. Especially in the dead of wintertime.
    Quote Originally Posted by LBellatrix View Post
    - Adding aloe vera juice or gel to whatever you're using to detangle. I'm going to call this the Kimmaytube recommendation because when I modified Giovanni Direct leave-in per her specs suddenly it became an awesome detangler.
    I do the same thing...sometimes, I'll spritz w/the avj and water combo before slathering on conditioner, then detangle. On my hair, it seems this works best if I let the avj sit for a bit before detangling. Maybe I should do what you do, LBell...mix it together.









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    I'm picking up what you ladies are putting down. I've tried the Hello Hydration in the past, but I think it was just the shampoo. IIRC the shampoo irritated my eczema. I'm game for trying the conditioner. I'll pick up some avj and the Giovanni Direct leave-in. I've dragged my feet on the Giovanni leave-in for ages but I surrender.

    I just want to be able to cut an hour off my detangling sessions. If I could do that I'd be the happiest nappy alive.
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    oh how I sympathize. I have to admit that I never detangle on dry hair and always use conditioner on my wet hair to detangle.

    I have to look into this oil wash thing that another poster mentioned.

    I don't use anything fancy for my conditioner,just pantene naturals. I then use my fingers to dust the tangles on the end but finish with my big flintstones brontosaurus comb (lol). Once I wash the conditioner out, I get castor oil for my ends and braid the same sectioned hair up until it styling time.
    As for buns, they work great for a quick style when I don't feel like combing my hair. I have found that even when I bun my detangled hair, my hair has crazy tangles when I take the bun down.

    I also can't do the every morning every night twist/untwist rountine. When I do twistouts I will retwist every two nights.

    *sending ya hugs for a rough hair session*
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  10. #9
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    I'm loving these reminders and suggestions - Adding AV juice might just be the ticket!! I may also have to try HH - I've been trying to avoid cones, but it seems to be something about the silicones that really helps with slip. I just don't want to need a sulfate shampoo afterwards - my hair is like straw after using a sulfate shampoo.

    LBell - your comment about sectioning - yea, you called it right. I did wash without sectioning because I tried to do some grey coverage last night, and didn't really know how to section my hair without making a bigger mess with the black dye. BIG. MISTAKE. It was a BEAST trying to detangle this stuff. What's crazy is that I washed without sectioning a few months ago, and it wasn't this bad. I think it's because it was during the time I was finger detangling almost nightly and plaiting my hair up every night. I just don't want to have to do that all the time.

    I've accepted that I have to use a tool or 2 to properly detangle. Fingers are good to start, but there's no way I can clean out all of the shed hair with just my fingers. That is also part of my problem - I had not really cleaned out the shed hair in a month. I also need to do the oil rinsing properly - I think that could make a humongous difference, because when I started adding oil to my conditioners, I noticed a big difference. Will any oil(s) do? I like to pre-poo with Vatika and/or Amla oils (that I typically layer with conditioner) - will those work, or should I try a heavier oil?

    I have some Giovanni direct leave-in; I'd like to try mixing that with AV juice, I just don't know if I can bring myself to use this combo for pre-poo detangling. Having to wash it all out would be so much of a waste!

  11. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by GeorgiaApple View Post
    oh how I sympathize. I have to admit that I never detangle on dry hair and always use conditioner on my wet hair to detangle.

    I have to look into this oil wash thing that another poster mentioned.

    I don't use anything fancy for my conditioner,just pantene naturals. I then use my fingers to dust the tangles on the end but finish with my big flintstones brontosaurus comb (lol). Once I wash the conditioner out, I get castor oil for my ends and braid the same sectioned hair up until it styling time.
    As for buns, they work great for a quick style when I don't feel like combing my hair. I have found that even when I bun my detangled hair, my hair has crazy tangles when I take the bun down.

    I also can't do the every morning every night twist/untwist rountine. When I do twistouts I will retwist every two nights.

    *sending ya hugs for a rough hair session*
    THANKS for the hugs, GeorgiaApple!! I needed that!

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