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  1. #1
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    Default Where is the line between kempt and unkempt?

    I have really thick 4b or 4c hair. And I truly feel blessed to have it. I usually wear it in a BAA or a braid out. Sometimes I know my hair is neat and on point and I can't wait to be seen. While other times I know it's a hot mess (got to wash and start over before I leave the house).

    But sometimes it seems to fall somewhere in between. I'll feel some accomplishment for trying something different but unsure if others might look at it and think it looks like I didn't bother trying. PERIOD.

    I'm just wondering if anyone else struggles with this.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wendeeda View Post
    I have really thick 4b or 4c hair. And I truly feel blessed to have it. I usually wear it in a BAA or a braid out. Sometimes I know my hair is neat and on point and I can't wait to be seen. While other times I know it's a hot mess (got to wash and start over before I leave the house).

    But sometimes it seems to fall somewhere in between. I'll feel some accomplishment for trying something different but unsure if others might look at it and think it looks like I didn't bother trying. PERIOD.

    I'm just wondering if anyone else struggles with this.
    First of all, welcome! I don't remember seeing you here before, so forgive me if you've been here for a bit!

    For me, I don't care how others view my hair. My views are colored by my losing all of it when I went through chemo almost 5 years ago [and this was after almost 3 years natural]. For me....if I wanted to shave all of it off, it's my business and I'll rock it well.

    So,
    wendeeda, it will be interesting how others respond to your question.









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  4. #3
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    When I think of unkempt hair of any kind, I think of dirt and dust bunnies.

    That's just off the top of my head though. And my mind's half asleep.
    "Coal mining is harder [than writing]. Do you think miners stand around all day talking about how hard it is to mine for coal? They do not. They simply dig."
    --Sugar, a writer from The Rumpus
    My Blog

    *Eternal thanks to the person who made me PANK!! *

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    Quote Originally Posted by Claire76 View Post
    When I think of unkempt hair of any kind, I think of dirt and dust bunnies.
    u silly Claire









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    Quote Originally Posted by OHR View Post
    u silly Claire




    I thought the OP was asking where we draw the line, and I'm tired. But of course I had to come back in here and see if anyone else wrote anything.

    Look. There are times when I know I haven't tried, and when I know my hair isn't fit for public consumption. There are also times when I prep my hair carefully, and I know it looks good.

    And then there are days like today. I rinsed my hair, didn't detangle it, and relied on a headband. I know perfectly well that shrinkage is not my friend. But I went out because I knew I looked good, and the only one who complained was a family member who doesn't care for natural hair.

    You asked about the line between kempt and unkempt hair. I tend to set my own standards using comfort and common sense.
    "Coal mining is harder [than writing]. Do you think miners stand around all day talking about how hard it is to mine for coal? They do not. They simply dig."
    --Sugar, a writer from The Rumpus
    My Blog

    *Eternal thanks to the person who made me PANK!! *

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  9. #6
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    OHR, thank you for the Welcome, but it's more of a Welcome Back, I've been away for a while. You are right. I shouldn't let my insecurities dictate how I feel about my style. But sometimes I do.

    Claire, that's a good, usable gauge. Dirty is NEVER an acceptable hairstyle
    Last Relaxer: April 2010
    BC: March 7th, 2011

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    IA with Claire and OHR. Filthy with bugs coming out is unkempt. Don't hesitate to experiment with your hair because you are worried about what other people think. If you hate it or feel it sucks, it's your head...change it. If others hate it or feel it sucks...eff um.

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  12. #8
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    I kinda like Claire's rule of thumb. Something to consider is that for those unaccustomed to natural hair, they may not know what the hair does in different circumstances, so they may have no yardstick to judge whether or not you've taken care of it. Hence your own judgement is the one to go by.

    I know I've seen people who look as is they dressed in the dark from a bag full of random charity offerings, only to find out when I get to know them, that they very carefully (and sometimes expensively) construct their 'casual chic' on a daily basis.

    You just have to do what you do according to your own aesthetic.

    DeBe

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  14. #9
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    unkempt to me = dirty or smelly.

    i know that some consider fuzzy looking as unkempt as well, especially in styles like flattwists or braids. i personally dont consider fuzzy to be unkempt because i wash my hair often and i use humectants as leave in which means my hair gets fuzzy very quickly. fir instance i just installed a set of boxed braids with one of the sides cornrowed and the cornrow side already looks like it's 3 weeks old because i've cowashed 4 times in the past 7 days

  15. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by debe_999 View Post
    I kinda like Claire's rule of thumb. Something to consider is that for those unaccustomed to natural hair, they may not know what the hair does in different circumstances, so they may have no yardstick to judge whether or not you've taken care of it. Hence your own judgement is the one to go by.
    Indeed. Today's my second day with a shrunken 'fro and a headband. My favorite anti-nappy person tried to tell me it looked awful. And honestly, it could look more "done". Yet I also know that they're used to a different aesthetic.

    Long ago this person's comments had me on my guard. Thankfully, today I laughed and kept it moving.
    "Coal mining is harder [than writing]. Do you think miners stand around all day talking about how hard it is to mine for coal? They do not. They simply dig."
    --Sugar, a writer from The Rumpus
    My Blog

    *Eternal thanks to the person who made me PANK!! *

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