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  1. #11
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    I have two special needs children who I use more than one method of discipline. I do spank but I do more restriction then anything. I believe that as parents you must know what method if discipline works for your child. I spend a lot of time talking to my children to make sure they understand what they are doing has consequences, I also explain what the consequences will be if they don't listen.
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  2. #12
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    I think it's great you're looking at alternatives to spanking. We don't spank. IMO, it's wrong to put your hands on anyone unless you're snatching them out of the path of car or something, lol. Assuming the family environment is normal, the "bad" behaviors are due to developmental immaturity. Kids are not plotting to make your life intense. They've never been here before and need a LOT of instruction on how to behave and get along in the world. I read somewhere that parents should treat their children like distinguished visitors from another country; someone who has no clue about your "customs", etc.
    BC: Spring 2000


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  4. #13
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    Thank you all for your advice and suggestions. I am trying to navigate parenthood. And I feel like everyone judges how you raise your kid. For instance, we were are my in-laws house. My MIL had some friends over. So I placed baby boy on the floor (he's trying to walk and loves being able to pull himself up.) He reached for some of her coffee table items and I moved everything out of his way so he could just cruise along the table. One of the ladies said they didn't move things with their kids; they just hit those hands. I didn't feel like that was a reason to hit his hands, and I felt like my parenting was found lacking because I moved the items and not tapped his hands. I might be overly sensitive, though. LOL

    Anywhoo, as I've stated he's a year. He's not really into anything that he can't be moved from. I just don't want to harm him by not spanking or spanking.
    Last relaxer: January 22, 2009 ~~ BC'd May 9-10,2009
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  5. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Red DeSTiny View Post
    Thank you all for your advice and suggestions. I am trying to navigate parenthood. And I feel like everyone judges how you raise your kid. For instance, we were are my in-laws house. My MIL had some friends over. So I placed baby boy on the floor (he's trying to walk and loves being able to pull himself up.) He reached for some of her coffee table items and I moved everything out of his way so he could just cruise along the table. One of the ladies said they didn't move things with their kids; they just hit those hands. I didn't feel like that was a reason to hit his hands, and I felt like my parenting was found lacking because I moved the items and not tapped his hands. I might be overly sensitive, though. LOL

    Anywhoo, as I've stated he's a year. He's not really into anything that he can't be moved from. I just don't want to harm him by not spanking or spanking.
    I can't see it as lacking in the least. The child isn't misbehaving by being curious and as you say he's learning to cruise, so he needs a safe environment to do that. I'm all for discipline, but not to the point of punishing a child for natural curiosity. Plus some things are about what the parent finds acceptable, rather than being right or wrong in themselves. You're the one he lives with, so your rules apply.

    Taking them away is as good a way as any of him learning that some things are not for him to play with.

    DeBe

  6. #15
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    I don't like to spank. I will give my son a slap on the back of his hand to make him stop doing something but I find that my tone of voice is usually enough. Also, he is only 2... hardly an age when "beating" him would be effective.

    I do have a question to the OP, though. Is there a specific reason why you put "black kids" in your thread title ? because to be honest, I have been a lot more shocked to see how some white parents beat their children than I have seen black parents do.
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