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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by melaniemat View Post
    I never thought at 43 I would be where I am. My finances are a mess, my credit is jacked, I'm an emotional wreck, my apartment is a mess, and I'm lonely. I'm working two jobs, and because I have no discipline, I end up spending my "extra" funds on stuff I don't need, rather than putting it toward savings. I want to go back to school, but I can't seem to get it together. I have so many things that I want to change about my life, but I lack will power and motivation, and I really don't even know where to begin.

    I don't know if this is a vent, but I am open to any and all suggestions. Thanks
    Join the club. Pull up a seat and enjoy the over 40's life! Seriously though, I'm a FIRM believer in, as long as you have breath in your lungs, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth etc chances. Don't despair, honey. And this too shall pass. It is NEVER too late to get it together. NEVER.

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  3. #12
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    ((More hugs)) It seems like both of you are having a hard time letting go. It sounds like you know what you want and need to do.

    On a safety note, please be careful with a situation like this. You need to make your wishes clear. You don't want this to turn into a stalker type thing.
    No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -Eleanor Roosevelt

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  5. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by melaniemat View Post
    I just sat down and had a good cry. I know that most of my feelings of loneliness stem from my most recent romantic relationship, which ended almost a year ago. Without going into a lot of details right now (because it is extremely painful), he has continued to contact me and ask to see me. I have begged him to leave me alone, and blocked him and unblocked him a dozen times. I don't think it's the fact that I'm that crazy about him, but instead, I think I am fearful that he will be my last chance at love. But he's not even a good chance his DARN self, so I don't know why I keep holding on. Anyway, after calls and text messages going back and forth for the past three days, I blocked him through Verizon tonight. I know he will only start calling from restricted numbers, and I have to figure out how to handle that. But maybe he won't. I just want to be happy, and I know that as long as I'm holding onto the wrong thing, the right thing can't make its' way in.
    I hope you seriously seek out professional help, even if to talk your feelings through to an unjudgmental ear. I had friend who sounded just like you, but things did not end well for her. She didn't feel she had anyone who cared about her, yet hundreds showed up for her funeral. Sadly she had taken her own life. She suffered from depression. I'm just saying...we all go through dark periods and those periods pass. But for those who seem stuck in that tunnel, professional help is the way. Good luck!

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  7. #14
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    Thank you Micheli! As I stated somewhere up there, I have an appointment on Wednesday with a psychiatrist. I've never considered suicide, but I do know that depression has a mind of its' own, so to speak. I'm reaching out before it gets too bad!

    ChaChaDiva - you're absolutely right. Though I have asked him a million times not to contact me again, I have always eventually answered, unblocked my number, or responded to a text message. I'm praying this time will be different and I will stick to my guns. I know he's not what I need, and again, I think I just keep going back because I'm afraid of being alone for the rest of my life.

  8. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by melaniemat View Post
    I know he's not what I need, and again, I think I just keep going back because I'm afraid of being alone for the rest of my life.
    Sweetie, you are a beautiful, powerful, amazing woman. When you are ready, there will be a man out there that will appreciate all that you are.
    No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -Eleanor Roosevelt

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  10. #16
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    I know the feeling. Been out of control most of my life and just now is serious about tying these loose ends together. I have had a problem saving also but is now over that...Im getting too old! Lately, I have been on a drum roll saving. I need to pay down credit cards and I'm also interested in buying a house....just don't know where I want to live....

    I'm a late bloomer but I'm all right with that now...you'll be alright just give yourself time.
    AMERICAN GIRL!

  11. #17
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    melaniemat-

    I kinda stumbled into this thread...so I do hope you take what I have to say to heart.

    I've read and reread the posts and agree with much of what has been 'said'. Above all the suggestions that have been offered thus far, the one thing that has resonated the loudest [to me] is finding that unjudgemental ear. Could be in the form of a therapist...or someone that YOU know that will give it to you straight, no chaser.

    Stick to your guns. Don't reestablish contact with him. YOU have the control. I do hope that your sessions with the psychiatrist are going well. Sincerely sending positive thoughts your way. YOU are worth this energy.









  12. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by melaniemat View Post

    ChaChaDiva - you're absolutely right. Though I have asked him a million times not to contact me again, I have always eventually answered, unblocked my number, or responded to a text message. I'm praying this time will be different and I will stick to my guns. I know he's not what I need, and again, I think I just keep going back because I'm afraid of being alone for the rest of my life.

    I have found the website below very helpful in understanding relationship drama from all perspectives and providing good guidelines to pursue healthier relationships. The article below deals with not contacting your ex.

    http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/the-...act-rule-rose/

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