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View Poll Results: The thing I dislike the MOST is...

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  • When people think my hair is fake/a wig. My hair is real, honey.

    1 4.00%
  • When people are too rough with my hair. Breakin' my hair off like they crazy.

    3 12.00%
  • When people tell me I need a relaxer. Yeah, scorchin' my hair straight is the answer.

    4 16.00%
  • When people call natural hair nappy. It ain't nappy. It's called natural. Get it straight.

    0 0%
  • These things all make me equally upset. People need to check themeselves.

    2 8.00%
  • None of these things bother me. I rise above all ignorance.

    15 60.00%
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  1. #1
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    Question Hair checks and rough-handed folks in my hair. What y'all dealin' wit?

    One thing I hate is that people think natural hair that is styled is natural hair that needs to be touched. That cannot be further from the truth! When I wear my hair out I love the compliments but I do not love the people who want to touch it. Or people who want to advise me on what to do with it: "style it like [hairstyle] that would look cute..." or "you need to trim your ends every [#] months..." It's like: I'm wearing my hair out just like the other girl over there. Why is mine a federal case?

    Finally, the rough-handed people. Whenever I wear my hair natural and see my grandma she does that notorious grandma thing: Come over here so I can see you. So I do. She sees my hair and just starts brutally raking her hands through it. I just want to tell her to stop but I don't. She asks me what I'm putting in it and tells me that I should have bangs (and begins to rake my hair down to the front). It just feels like a brutal assault and it is obvious she is being too rough. She has natural hair now, but often with her own hair she is too rough with it. I simply find that a lot of people think my hair is thick and sturdy and can take a beating so to speak, but it ain't a brillo pad! However, most outsiders who touch my hair touch it like it's a delicate flower that will disintegrate on the spot if too much force is applied.

    How many of you all have to deal with gettin' your hair checked by others or rough-handed folk?

  2. #2
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    It rarely happens anymore, but I don't like it when people tell me I need a relaxer. Or that my child needs a relaxer. My family knows that this topic is a dead horse. I don't hear it at work anymore, either. I remember once a group of coworkers told me that I needed a relaxer because my hair was "disgusting". They related it to stinky people needing deodorant and soap and told me that I was creating a distraction in the office by refusing to use the hygiene product (box relaxers) available to everyone. I've since been promoted a couple times over them. If they, or anyone else, still feel this way they don't dare say it to my face. They can think what they want.

    Still it bothers me when Random Person comes up like "Hey don't you know there are hot combs and perms? You don't have to be nappy." It also bothers me to hear "Hey don't you know you can get sweaters at WalMart? You don't have to knit them." Random Person: you are not novel or witty. Just tired. I've heard it all before. Go your way and I'll go mine.
    http://www.faniq.com/images/blog/Geo...on%20Dance.gif
    Why, yes! I am happy! How did you know?

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  4. #3
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    If I'd been asked this question a few years ago, I would've picked option #5. I'm not really that peeved by being told I need that my hair is nappy and I need a relaxer. It's annoying at best. But in most cases, I write the person off as self-hating/brainwashed and KIM. And usually, their hair is tow up anyway...

    No one really thinKs my hair is fake, because of the texture. Now if my hair was bsl and I wore it straight, I'm pretty sure I'd be weave checked daily. When my hair is long again and I'm wearing a fluffy braid n curl, if someone wants to doubt me, all I do is start running my fingers through my hair like in the Herbal Essences commercial.....LOL

    I too, used to be peeved by so-called professional stylists jacking my hair up. But that's a thing of the past, since I do my own hair.

    Ultimately at this point nearing my 8th year natural, I rise above all ignorance. And if I can't, I come to NP for support


    LOVE THIS POLL
    "Authenticity is true beauty."
    "Asking God why He gave us this hair, then praying for it to grow..." Stahp it!
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  5. #4
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    bhop13 is offline Active Nappturality Member
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    I'm not going to post what initially came to mind when reading this thread, lol.

    I don't always mind folks in my hair. I think the thing that I dislike is people saying or suggesting that I relax or straighten my hair. I don't have a problem with the word nappy.

    The last poll choice is funny, lol.
    Last edited by bhop13; 03-06-2013 at 11:26 AM.
    GOT PANK??
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  7. #5
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    As always when I see these posts I wonder where you folks live that you have to deal with this kind of stuff. Or what kind of gorgeous hair you have that draws such random rudeness, lol.

    Thinking back on it though...when I first went natural I was living in Chicago's Hyde Park neighborhood. I remember some of the older folks complimenting my hair and some of the younger black men trying to talk to me. This was 1996 though and my hair was in a TWA. I was also younger and thinner (which means I probably looked like a teenager...right now I'm creeping up on 50 and I get mistaken for being anywhere from late 20s to late 30s). I did get mistaken for a boy twice but in both cases they were old non-black men so I let it go. Other than that I never experienced any outright issues with people. If they had a problem with my hair they never said it to my face.

    Maybe that's the difference: Do y'all not have a mean mug as your natural resting expression?

    Anyway...after almost 8 years in IA I'm about to move back to (black) civilization so maybe I might start experiencing some of this especially since I've been rocking the naps extra hard lately. (I don't have a problem with the word "nappy" but I know many others do so I don't use it unless I'm sure I can get away with it.)
    Hello, 2021. Glad to see you. Hope you're bringing us goodness and light this year!

  8. #6
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    Nappy to me and in my culture means a cloth diaper, so I'd find it strange if someone uses it to refer to my hair.

    I don't let people in my hair except for a few select individuals so...

    People telling me I should get a relaxer don't bother me at all, that comment is usually followed with "your hair would be so long." And that's the real reason behind it, length...as an aside a few months ago I was in my home country and I went to a salon to get my hair done, my hair was stretched at the time I asked if anyone knew how to style natural hair (I wanted a roller set) and one of the girls said she did.

    She looked at my hair and assumed my stretched hair was my natural texture, something which didn't click until after she washed it and it shrunk to about 4inches. The look of both horror and confusion was priceless, I had to leave when she proceeded to try to blow dry my entire head armed with nothing but a pick and a blowdryer set on on "annihilate".

    Many people still have no clue what to do with natural hair save for relaxing, rocking a fade, weaving/wigging/extensions and braiding it, if it's long they assume you have "soft" hair...4c and past your shoulders -> you need a relaxer.

    As for fake hair...they don't make fake hair in my texture, even when it's stretched.

  9. #7
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    Really the only thing that gets me is when someone other than my S/O take it upon themselves to dig into my fro to feel it without asking. 1 idk where your hands have been and if I just washed my hair u may have just dirtied it. And 2 you're in my personal space dang it!

    The thing that makes me wonder abt that is that you dont know if the person whose hair you're touching is clean/contains lice or a product that you're allergic to…

    Watch those hands ppl!

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  11. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by fuzzy_slippers View Post
    It rarely happens anymore, but I don't like it when people tell me I need a relaxer. Or that my child needs a relaxer. My family knows that this topic is a dead horse. I don't hear it at work anymore, either. I remember once a group of coworkers told me that I needed a relaxer because my hair was "disgusting". They related it to stinky people needing deodorant and soap and told me that I was creating a distraction in the office by refusing to use the hygiene product (box relaxers) available to everyone. I've since been promoted a couple times over them. If they, or anyone else, still feel this way they don't dare say it to my face. They can think what they want.

    Still it bothers me when Random Person comes up like "Hey don't you know there are hot combs and perms? You don't have to be nappy." It also bothers me to hear "Hey don't you know you can get sweaters at WalMart? You don't have to knit them." Random Person: you are not novel or witty. Just tired. I've heard it all before. Go your way and I'll go mine.

    This is one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever heard! This is the power of stereotypes. We think natural black hair is "dirty hair". We see a 'fro or dreds and we somehow know they don't clean their scalp? How sad. I am sorry this happened to you but am happy you got those promotions. Show 'em girl!

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  13. #9
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    I stopped hanging around a lot of people but when I did I got all types of comments from 12 year olds to people in their twenties (I'm in my twenties). But since them I've gotten better with my hair and the comments thinned out, with some turning in to compliments. Haters are going to hate but you have to let it roll off your back. The same people hating ask me how I got my hair so much longer than before (shoulder length to a little longer than apl). Hair isn't that deep

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    It bothers me that the peasants can't see how wonderful and flawless my hair is, and so they can't handle all this gorgeousness and try to say negative things to cover up their own insecurity because their hair will never be as fabulous as mine. They're blind to how glorious my hair is, poor misguided souls.

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