At The End of My Natural Hair Rope

[mynaturalbee]

I have been natural going on six years. I transitioned gradually and I always thought that by now I would be able to do a variety of cute styles like flat twists, cornrows or atleast make NEAT, CUTE afro puff or big bun. I watch tutorials and try and try, but five years later i still can't do my natural hair the way I want to.

I am at the end of my rope. don't get it twisted. I LOVE the way natural hair looks when done I think it is THE MOST BEAUTIFUL hair there is, as far as my opinion. but my mother does not let me try out new styles even though i'm not working and so i never learn how to do them properly. i am sick of it, i'm a grown woman 24 years old and i still can't do my own natural hair. i am at the end of my rope.

and worst of all the lint that gets stuck in my hair is unbearable. someone please help me.

how can i learn to look good with this natural hair.

i want to look like brigid turner or like some of those natural hair gurus like mwedzi etc... someone please help me. i am so frustrated.

[trueimage15]

Have you tried a twist out? Those are cute

and you should'nt let your mom stop you from doing something you practically own yourself

It takes lots of practice and determination, but you Will get better

HTH

[LBellatrix]

Hi mynaturalbee...welcome to NP.

Please read the pinned threads at the top of this forum (Help Me) for some basic information about natural hair care. Read through this forum (Help Me) as well as Napptural Hair General Chat for more information. Also, if you could tell us a little more about yourself:
- What is your current regimen?
- What exactly does NEAT and CUTE look like to you? Please provide links to examples. I had to look up Brigid Turner because I didn't know who she is. Does your natural hair texture resemble hers? Or is it closer to mwedzi's?

[AfroIsland]

Instead of flattwists and cornrows have you tried twists, twistout, and braidout styles ? Brigid Turner and Mwedzi (and other gurus) do loose out styles rather than the ones you mentioned. I never twisted or braided my hair in my entire life before I went natural, and with a little bit of practice, twists became super easy to do. Flattwists and cornrows are just plain difficult to do for a lot of naturals (myself included), so don't feel bad about it .

How do you currently style your hair? Does your texture resemble Mwedzi or Brigid Turner, because their textures are very different and styles would not come out the same.

[nickib]

but my mother does not let me try out new styles

Is your mother doing your hair? If so you'll never get enough practice to be able to do any styles on your own. I haven't let my mother touch my hair since I big chopped. Yes my early styles were... special. But I rocked them anyway and soon started learning what my hair could/couldn't do, did/didn't like, and my own skills improved.

How have you been wearing your hair the past 6 yrs?

[outremount]

[QUOTE=mynaturalbee;2736141]I have been natural going on six years. I transitioned gradually and I always thought that by now I would be able to do a variety of cute styles like flat twists, cornrows or atleast make NEAT, CUTE afro puff or big bun. I watch tutorials and try and try, but five years later i still can't do my natural hair the way I want to.

Is your hair too thick/thin, coily, mixed textures, what exactly is your struggle with your hair?

I am at the end of my rope. don't get it twisted. I LOVE the way natural hair looks when done I think it is THE MOST BEAUTIFUL hair there is, as far as my opinion. but my mother does not let me try out new styles even though i'm not working and so i never learn how to do them properly. i am sick of it, i'm a grown woman 24 years old and i still can't do my own natural hair. i am at the end of my rope.be
Does that mean that you have been getting it done professionally or your mom has been doing your hair and you now want to take control of your self?
and worst of all the lint that gets stuck in my hair is unbearable. someone please help me.
​How is lint getting stuck in your hair? are you adding hair grease, not washing frequently enough, leaving your hair uncovered when you sleep and have a wool blanket?

how can i learn to look good with this natural hair.

i want to look like brigid turner or like some of those natural hair gurus like mwedzi etc... someone please help me. i am so frustrated.[/QUOTE
I hear your frustration but you have not provided enough information for others to guide you. Remember we can't look like others, we can only look like ourselves. We all have different types and texture hair. Very few people that I am aware of have mwedzi's hair.

[Napia Mia]

but my mother does not let me try out new styles even though i'm not working and so i never learn how to do them properly. i am sick of it, i'm a grown woman 24 years old and i still can't do my own natural hair. i am at the end of my rope.

These two pieces of information (in bold) really stick out at me. I'm trying to figure out how your mother is controlling a 24 year-old woman to the point that she is unable to make decisions about her own hair. You really need to figure out how to get around this because nothing we can tell you here will help you if you don't have the authority to do your own hair.

and worst of all the lint that gets stuck in my hair is unbearable. someone please help me.

I've never heard of such unless the person had locs. How often do you groom? What kind of blankets do you have on your bed? Do you wear a scarf at night?

how can i learn to look good with this natural hair.

Take ownership and control of doing your own hair. Experiment. You'll have some "hairstylegonewrong" days for sure but you'll eventually get to the place where you have figured out how to style and care for your own hair.

i want to look like brigid turner or like some of those natural hair gurus like mwedzi etc... someone please help me. i am so frustrated.

Ok, you have to be really careful when you decide that you want your hair to look like someone elses. More often than not, you'll be setting your self up for a big dissappointment. Reason being is that one person rarely has the same length, strand thickness, scalp density and texture as the person whose hair style they're trying to mimic. I was recently reminded of that myself when I tried to recreate a hair style that I saw on someone else. While I have fairly long hair along with what most people would consider to be on the "thick" side, I still could not recreate a hair style that I've been wanting to try for quite some time. My hair just would NOT behave in the same way to get the exact style that I saw in the picture. Afterwards I had to be content with something a lot different than what I wanted.

After googling Brigid and being already very familiar with Mwedzi and her beautifully, lucious, long and ultra thick head of hair, I can tell you right now that these ladies don't have a typical head of nappy hair. They're the EXCEPTION and not the rule when it comes to most of us. My mind is saying that you can certainly enjoy looking at their hair, but don't try to recreate something you're seeing them wear. AT best you might come up with a similar version but it will NOT look like their hair. Don't set yourself up for disappointment like that. You need to find your own way, your own style — something that works for you.

[AfroIsland]

and worst of all the lint that gets stuck in my hair is unbearable. someone please help me.

I initially forgot to respond to this ^.

The front and top of my hair traps lint too, but only a couple of tiny pieces here and there . This is something that only started happen recently and I'm still trying to pin-point what is causing it. So far I think that it's caused by: grease/butter products (shea butter, crisco, softee mango grease), stretched styles, and maybe not washing my hair as often (1-2x a week instead of daily).
Do you sleep with your hair covered?

I put my hair in a pineapple many times at night, with a scarf around the back and the front ends up hanging out. Maybe that's what's causing the lint .

[CoilyHairedBeauty]

What's your regimen? How long is your hair?

Tying your hair up at night will solve the lint problem...

What I found quite interesting is that you said your mom won't let you try new styles. At 24, you are past grown. I can't imagine how to reconcile an adult not being -allowed- to do what she wishes with her hair.

I can understand if someone else is buying your products, paying for your stylist, or doing it themselves.... Then again, I can't. I hate to say, mid twenties is close to 30 and that's so ridiculous.

I had issues going natural when I was 17. But 24? What you do with your own body and any other personal decisions is up to you. Should be, anyway....

[Claire76]

I agree with what the ladies have said x1000, especially Napia Mia.

Regarding lint: Do you cover your hair when you sleep? I echo Napia Mia's questions. Lint can get into anyone's hair--regardless of its texture. But the only way it'll stay there is if you don't take precautions.