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  1. #11
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    I had more to add, got distracted by the kiddos. Basically, you have to allow yourself to go through the process of doubt without thinking you must keep your faith or discard it. You may decide that Christianity works for you or you may decide that you want to move past it and explore another religion or none at all. The point is, don't let fear or guilt trips guide your decisions. Best of luck!
    BC: Spring 2000


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  3. #12
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    Been there, got the t-shirt...but probably not for the same reasons as you, OP.

    I grew up poor amongst hardworking, loving, & God-fearing people...but they still didn't have two nickels to rub together and had to deal with various hardships in life. Common rejoinders from the pulpit were, "Even Jesus had to die on the cross! What makes you so special that you should get to live a charmed life?" and "This life is only a test." and "The battle is not yours. Vengeance is the Lord's!" In the Christian faith, most of the benefits/justice is reaped in the afterlife, anyway, so that's what some people are looking forward to. In some cases, that's the only thing people have to look forward to, but I digress.

    Right now, I don't really know what I am. I just am. I never really believed believed, even as a kid. (I was a very skeptical, know-it-all from a very young age). And it got to a point when I saw my going to church as something (among a long list of other things) that I did because it was expected and not because I wanted to. I felt like I was humoring everyone around me when I nodded my head and said "Amen." I felt like a hypocrite because I could only see religion in terms of it's history & utility in society and not for any great revelation or passion it was bringing to my life.
    Last edited by skittles04; 04-11-2013 at 05:15 PM.

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  5. #13
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    Beautiful, ChaChaDiva!

    And I say this as someone who is still struggling to accept the "hypocrites" in my Catholic faith sitting next to me in church and preaching to me from the pulpit.

  6. #14
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    Thanks everyone. I have REALLY enjoyed reading each comment. And those that have PM'd me on this topic. Things have changed for me as far as where I am and what I have been doing. I will be providing an update soon!
    I am going in whatever direction my natural journey takes me....
    Big Chop: June 4, 2011

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  8. #15
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    Thanks for sharing your story. It took alot of guts to do so.

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  10. #16
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    @ Padme32 I feel exactly the same way!
    Last edited by MissMash76; 07-21-2013 at 04:02 AM.

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  12. #17
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    Hello...

    Also, don't forget that everything that looks good to us is not necessarily a blessing. Yes, God does love us all and His thoughts toward us are good and not evil to bring us to an expected end. He does send rain to the just and unjust. But also...what kind of Sovereign God would reject people who've never had an opportunity to experience His love? Now that would be unfair. God said we love Him because He first loved us. Period. He doesn't love us because we are our own definitions of good or because we think we deserve some kind of reward. He also doesn't withhold love because we aren't in church four times a week and we had an impure thought.

    There is no one who is good...not me, not you, not the girl who got the promotion, and not your husband. What ChaCha said was so ridiculously on point and the analogy of parents and their love for their own undeniably flawed children was very insightful. But to add to that, if we are going by the bible, Satan is the prince of this world. Things can come by his hand; that is why he offered Jesus material things at the end of his fast. With the devil things are made to look good, truthful, and profitable but there is always deceit and loss and consequences. It's always just enough truth to get you to believe the hype (recall the conversation between Eve & the serpent). That's why if we are Christians, we must examine and compare our own decisions and theories against God's word and leave everyone else alone as we don't know what they've been through or are about to go through. And if we think real hard, we'll remember when God loved us through a time when we were involved in a bunch of wratchednes.

    Also, God is not religious. He looks at hearts not works. More often than not, we should be doing heart checks just to make sure we're in this for God's glory and not our own. I have STRUGGLED for what I thought was an unbearably long season while confessing Jesus as Lord and having people talk about me because they thought I was stupid to be so caught up in a God that would allow such a whirlwind of sorrow to come upon me. But now, only one year later, things are so much better. And it happened so quickly...not because I'm good this year and I wasn't last year, but because I chose to believe that faith was not about what I could see in front of me. Those things I couldn't see but hoped for, after years, there is now evidence. What was just last year feels llike eons ago. So now, when life seems grand, I make myself remember all the years I spent praying for what I now have in order to avoid flashes of ungratefulness. Otherwise, I would have already forgotten. And I never want to forget and steal God's glory. My point is: I made a decision back then that my life was His and even through what felt like hell, I held to my faith in God and came out of the fire unburned.

    For me, I know this is God. Others can believe what they want, but this is what I've chosen. You must also choose, but don't do so based on your perception of who's good and who's bad. That's not your call.
    Last edited by lambchop; 10-14-2013 at 11:40 AM.
    There is no fear in love. But perfect love casts out fear: because fear has torment. 1 John 4:18

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