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    Smile I am starting not to believe the hype anymore.....

    I know this is long but I had to get my thoughts out---

    I have been struggling with my faith. Don’t get me wrong I was raised in the church. Love God and believed the hype. I was sold at a young age and didn’t question anything when it came to faith, God, religion---I went with it. It started on yesterday 4/5/13 when I received some news of a promotion from someone that I felt didn’t deserve to be promoted because of the problems that she has caused and continue to cause. I mean lying, deceitfulness and doesn’t even take care of her kids. And I thought about my husband going up for a promotion and did not get it. What does that really mean? I couldn’t wrap my mind around the idea of “favor” because it just didn’t make sense to me. If her promotion was a blessing from God---what was the lack of a promotion for my husband or the decrease in pay he is going to experience. Does God want him to struggle? People always want to tell you that it’s not your season. Your time is coming. God has a plan for you. Oh, and the one I love—what God has for you is for you. But what if nothing ever comes. Get it? In other words, do I pray and wait on God to open a door for me but what if he doesn’t. Do I suppose to continue to struggle waiting on the day that God decides that I am worthy of a blessing. Does God want my husband and I to struggle with his recent pay decrease but didn't want her to. Hmmm…..

    Let’s go back to favor. Favor isn’t fair. It can’t be. Here are my reasons why….

    1. Someone who doesn’t “love their neighbor” isn't that what God said we should do get a promotion but the one that genuinely tries hard to treat people right even a mother that definitely doesn’t deserve it doesn’t get anything but transferred into a new position paying less money and rejected by every job he has applied for so far. Hmmm….
    2. There are some that do not believe in God. For example, Will Smith. So did God bless him any way. But to him it wouldn’t be God because he doesn’t believe in one. So for the one in church on Sunday, pray everyday and night, pay their tithes, takes care of their family, and overall tries to do what they suppose to do----are they doing all of this for nothing??? Just because you do all that doesn’t mean you will be blessed. It’s clear that good things can happen to those that don’t believe.
    3. Football player Ray Caruth---plotted to kill the women he got pregnant. She trusted him---he had her killed and the child is disable mentally and physically. The mother died and he only got 18 years in prison. Even after the mother’s last act was to let the police know who did it he only got 18 years. Hmmm…explain how someone that plotted to take a life actually 2 lives he didn’t give and only served 18 years in prison. Hmmm…..
    4. What about men that are suppose to be chosen by God i.e Eddie Long and these Catholic ministers----how were they able to preach and teach God's word living this way. Let's not even talk about the concept of paying all this money in church, paying salaries of everyone while people are struggling giving their last dime. Still waiting on that ole blessing which as we know may or may not come. But just pray, obey and be patient.

    Those are just the few thoughts that were on my mind right now. I have plenty more.

    I talked to my mom about my feelings. Let me share the background. Has been in church all her life, went and taught Sunday school, went to bible class and even took us to everything as well and paid her tithe. She sang in the choir, retired and because of her desire to serve she went back to the choir. Basically, she is the ideal person that should be set up for an overflow of blessings—you know—press down shaken together and running over yada yada yada. She told me of someone that she knows that did the exact opposite. Didn’t come to Sunday school, bible class barely spoke to people in church—you get my drift. She told me when he retired he retired with millions. Himmm…………………again explain to me why my mom and dad have worked hard all their lives and my mom is still working—don’t they deserve to retire with millions. They are good don't get me wrong but they grew up in the church, had me and my siblings in the church, they are great parents—so why not them?????

    Goes back to “favor” is it really a such thing. Is it really something to religion? Have I believed the hype for all this time only to be disappointed by the things I see around me. Please don’t give me that good old Christian answer or go to some bible verse because as we all know the bible was written by man and even “according to research” man decided what books would go in the bible and which would not. I just want someone…anyone to provide an honest and open perspective. I am not looking for a fight so if you are coming for that please exit stage right. Thanks!
    Last edited by Naturaldisiac; 04-07-2013 at 12:34 AM.
    I am going in whatever direction my natural journey takes me....
    Big Chop: June 4, 2011

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  3. #2
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    The things that you're describing are common; it's a part of living and aging. Who determines right or wrong is arbitrary. As individuals we all have personal beliefs about what should and shouldn't happen, but most of us are not in positions to set our personal beliefs as societal norms. As far as blessings go, a lot of things that people do and don't get out of life are based on their own efforts and choices.

    For example your co-worker; as far as anyone knows she could be taking the boss's work home at night to work on it after hours and that's why she got the promotion. The direct decision maker (boss lady/man) would not care that she is neglecting her kids and since he/she is the decision maker her choice is rewarded. I say this to say, who knows why people make the choices that they make and do the things that they do. Keep doing the things that you deem to be right and enjoy. Also; be okay if there is no reward.

    Locs 2nd Set: April 3rd 2012 - Yup they're back

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    I'm not a Christian so I can't give you a Christian answer. My own personal belief is that life is not fair. Bad things often happen to very good people and evil people often prosper. This maybe why so many religions have a concept of a reward or punishment in the afterlife. My core belief is in the oneness of the universe. We are all part of the same energy force which we can choose to use for good or bad.

    So, I don't believe in favor but I do believe that God/The Universe/Spirit helps people who help themselves. You can't sit around being pious and wait for blessings to rain down. You have to get out and hustle for what you want. I don't believe in being ruthless or hurting people to get ahead though, because I want to feel that I am a good/loving person.

    Having a faith or belief system helps you decide if you are living in a right/moral manner and it helps you make sense of life when shitty things happen to good people and vice versa.

    Are you open to learning about other faiths? Maybe there is something else out there that can make better sense of the world for you. Maybe even another branch of Christianity. There are many.



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    I used to be a Christian and am now an atheist. I had the same questions and concerns that you have. In my opinion, there is no such thing as divine favor. The world around us attests to that. People work, either ethically or not, to get what they want. Them being a good person or a bad person has no bearing on whether or not they succeed. And of course things much, much worse than not getting a promotion happen to people daily. Where is God in all that? I came to the conclusion that he/she/it is either a really demented god or a figment of human imagination.

    So I think going through life making decisions based on a reward in this life or some hoped for afterlife is not wise. We should do things based on both consideration of others and what makes us individually happy. It's a balance. And know that life isn't fair and in fact sometimes super crappy.
    BC: Spring 2000


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    This is definitely along the lines that I am thinking. I am having a hard to time trying to accept the fact that I am challenging the beliefs that I grew up with. Its a fear there.....

    Why did you and when did you decide that you were going to become an atheist? I would love to hear your story seeing that your thoughts are similar to my current thoughts.

    Quote Originally Posted by Padme32 View Post
    I used to be a Christian and am now an atheist. I had the same questions and concerns that you have. In my opinion, there is no such thing as divine favor. The world around us attests to that. People work, either ethically or not, to get what they want. Them being a good person or a bad person has no bearing on whether or not they succeed. And of course things much, much worse than not getting a promotion happen to people daily. Where is God in all that? I came to the conclusion that he/she/it is either a really demented god or a figment of human imagination.

    So I think going through life making decisions based on a reward in this life or some hoped for afterlife is not wise. We should do things based on both consideration of others and what makes us individually happy. It's a balance. And know that life isn't fair and in fact sometimes super crappy.
    I am going in whatever direction my natural journey takes me....
    Big Chop: June 4, 2011

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  9. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Naturaldisiac View Post
    I know this is long but I had to get my thoughts out---

    I have been struggling with my faith. Don’t get me wrong I was raised in the church. Love God and believed the hype. I was sold at a young age and didn’t question anything when it came to faith, God, religion---I went with it. It started on yesterday 4/5/13 when I received some news of a promotion from someone that I felt didn’t deserve to be promoted because of the problems that she has caused and continue to cause. I mean lying, deceitfulness and doesn’t even take care of her kids. And I thought about my husband going up for a promotion and did not get it. What does that really mean? I couldn’t wrap my mind around the idea of “favor” because it just didn’t make sense to me. If her promotion was a blessing from God---what was the lack of a promotion for my husband or the decrease in pay he is going to experience. Does God want him to struggle? People always want to tell you that it’s not your season. Your time is coming. God has a plan for you. Oh, and the one I love—what God has for you is for you. But what if nothing ever comes. Get it? In other words, do I pray and wait on God to open a door for me but what if he doesn’t. Do I suppose to continue to struggle waiting on the day that God decides that I am worthy of a blessing. Does God want my husband and I to struggle with his recent pay decrease but didn't want her to. Hmmm…..

    Let’s go back to favor. Favor isn’t fair. It can’t be. Here are my reasons why….

    1. Someone who doesn’t “love their neighbor” isn't that what God said we should do get a promotion but the one that genuinely tries hard to treat people right even a mother that definitely doesn’t deserve it doesn’t get anything but transferred into a new position paying less money and rejected by every job he has applied for so far. Hmmm….
    2. There are some that do not believe in God. For example, Will Smith. So did God bless him any way. But to him it wouldn’t be God because he doesn’t believe in one. So for the one in church on Sunday, pray everyday and night, pay their tithes, takes care of their family, and overall tries to do what they suppose to do----are they doing all of this for nothing??? Just because you do all that doesn’t mean you will be blessed. It’s clear that good things can happen to those that don’t believe.
    3. Football player Ray Caruth---plotted to kill the women he got pregnant. She trusted him---he had her killed and the child is disable mentally and physically. The mother died and he only got 18 years in prison. Even after the mother’s last act was to let the police know who did it he only got 18 years. Hmmm…explain how someone that plotted to take a life actually 2 lives he didn’t give and only served 18 years in prison. Hmmm…..
    4. What about men that are suppose to be chosen by God i.e Eddie Long and these Catholic ministers----how were they able to preach and teach God's word living this way. Let's not even talk about the concept of paying all this money in church, paying salaries of everyone while people are struggling giving their last dime. Still waiting on that ole blessing which as we know may or may not come. But just pray, obey and be patient.

    Those are just the few thoughts that were on my mind right now. I have plenty more.

    I talked to my mom about my feelings. Let me share the background. Has been in church all her life, went and taught Sunday school, went to bible class and even took us to everything as well and paid her tithe. She sang in the choir, retired and because of her desire to serve she went back to the choir. Basically, she is the ideal person that should be set up for an overflow of blessings—you know—press down shaken together and running over yada yada yada. She told me of someone that she knows that did the exact opposite. Didn’t come to Sunday school, bible class barely spoke to people in church—you get my drift. She told me when he retired he retired with millions. Himmm…………………again explain to me why my mom and dad have worked hard all their lives and my mom is still working—don’t they deserve to retire with millions. They are good don't get me wrong but they grew up in the church, had me and my siblings in the church, they are great parents—so why not them?????

    Goes back to “favor” is it really a such thing. Is it really something to religion? Have I believed the hype for all this time only to be disappointed by the things I see around me. Please don’t give me that good old Christian answer or go to some bible verse because as we all know the bible was written by man and even “according to research” man decided what books would go in the bible and which would not. I just want someone…anyone to provide an honest and open perspective. I am not looking for a fight so if you are coming for that please exit stage right. Thanks!
    though i don't believe in God, i don't think God in the biblical sense causes things to happen because he gives us free will. if we have free will, then WE are the beholder of our destiny. people rely on God too much and they dismiss the idea of personal responsibility. but if he gives us free will - i don't see the point in her/him/it.
    but i don't believe in God for other reasons (buddhism is more connected to my common sense)

    i think what you are talking about is karma - why people who don't do good get good results and vice versa - people too often have this question because they are not taught their religion from a philosophical standpoint, but are told to believe it and not question it "just because." human beings need a philosophy that appeals to their common sense. i dont know the answer for you, but i think if you speak to someone who believes in the bible and is very knowledgeable (not a fundamentalist) then you'll find the answer.

    i dont think you believed the hype for too long and are blinded - i think there's an answer (from a christian standpoint) for you out there.

    my answer is:
    the four sufferings of birth, age, sickness, and death are inevitable. we live in a world that is forever changing and will change with or without you - so you have two choices - get with it, or get left behind. life is not fair and we see too often good deeds going unnoticed and bad deeds being exalted. this is the result of our karma accumulated in this life and previous lifetimes (this explains unexplained circumstance). sometimes we can prevent some bad stuff happening to us, but not all, as we can't control people's actions. there is no need to compare your circumstances to the next person, as everyone's karma is different. your journey is yours alone. karma is the boomerang that will kick you in the butt, if not in this life then in the next.


    OP i hope you find the answer you're looking for, please write when you do i enjoy hearing diff perspectives

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    As a Christian I do not believe that God's followers have some special right to a 'stress free get whatever they want' life. Hence I am not a believer in the 'prosperity gospel' mode of thinking. Life is not like that - Jesus said the Lord sends rain and sun on the just and the unjust.

    Life is not about fairness, there are too many human beings on the planet for that, and not even the animal kingdom runs on that principle lol Besides who knows what is really going in the lives of others? The only action we are responsible for are our own. My mother used to tell 'me stop looking at what other people are doing, you do not know how they got there and its not your business to know anyway'.

    Sorry if this is not the ideal answer for you.
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    I see you're in the South...

    I am a Christian. I was NOT raised in the faith. I choose it as a questioning adult. I've questioned everything and I still choose my Christian faith.

    The key to being a Christian is really understanding and knowing why you have chosen your beliefs.

    Your faith has to go beyond sound bites and slogans. There are a ton of reasons why your husband didn't the promotion and the other person did.

    Guess what. God loves that "lying, deceitfulness and doesn’t even take care of her kids" person also and has good plans and blessings for her life.

    God also has good plans for your and your family's life. Perhaps that job wasn't part of the plan for your husband and there's a better job out there in the future. Maybe God needed to do something in that woman's life in this moment.

    We can't assume that because we are faithful, that puts us at the top of the "blessing" list. God loves everyone and works in each life individually. God sees what we don't see. You may see lies and deceit in the that woman but God loves and cherishes her as his beloved daughter. Can you handle that?

    Can you handle a God that loves and works in the lives of some of the "dirtiest, low down" people? Of course, that's not how God sees them. God's love is for everyone.

    Of course, there are consequences for that behavior but the loss of God's love never comes into play.

    Simple analogy. How many mothers are visiting and writing to their children who are in prison? To us on the outside, who may have been a victim of the prisoner, we see a crook. To a loving parent, she see the child that she loves. The parent isn't in denial about what their child has done. Yet, they still love them.

    If your Christian faith is hinged upon an easy, stress, pain free, problem free life, then you missed something along the way. The Bible even says that there will be troubles in this life.

    Trouble, pain, death, confusion are a part of this human life. Question whatever you need to question, but don't think there is a faith path out there that will guarantee that nothing bad ever happens to you. Somebody's going to get sick, somebody's going to die, etc. The answer is how do you find peace in it all.

    Whatever you do, don't act out of anger. Also, for every doubt that you have, you will find someone who will agree with you and massage that doubt. If you look for critics of the faith, you will find them. They will have line by line as to why they think it's a bunch of junk. Does that make them correct? No.

    Again, you have to understand and know why you believe what you believe.

    As a Christan, I'm at peace with my beliefs. I hope you'll be able to find your peace. Please feel free to PM. I won't try to convince you of anything as each person has to choose their faith. I'll just provide some explanations to all of the questions. There really are answers. You'll have to choose which answers you believe.
    Last edited by chachadiva; 04-08-2013 at 07:26 PM.
    No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -Eleanor Roosevelt

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    Quote Originally Posted by Naturaldisiac View Post
    This is definitely along the lines that I am thinking. I am having a hard to time trying to accept the fact that I am challenging the beliefs that I grew up with. Its a fear there.....

    Why did you and when did you decide that you were going to become an atheist? I would love to hear your story seeing that your thoughts are similar to my current thoughts.
    I was born and raised in the Christian faith. During the last 5 years I've done a lot of questioning (around when my son was born) and within the last year I struggled with and finally accepted that I am an atheist.

    Nothing major happened in my life that made me question my faith. I just wanted a deeper understanding of the Bible and when I started another round of studying, I was more critical of what I was reading. There is a lot a misogyny, genocide, racism, tribalism, etc. in that book. The reason is because it was written by flawed humans that didn't know any better. There is no evidence a word of it was inspired by a supernatural entity.

    Religions were an attempt for humans to understand their world. And given what our ancestors had to work with, it was a pretty creative attempt. When one is ignorant (and I use this word meaning not having knowledge) of the world around you, and you see lighting bolts, people getting sick, your crops failing, you blame it on an angry god. Or the Devil. Whatever. Now we know how lightening happens, have discovered germ theory, etc. We have answers for SOME things and most reasonable people no longer blame good or evil spirits for them.

    You also have to remember that all the gods of the past from various cultures, Zeus, Thor, Baal, Dionysus, Poseidon, etc. were every bit as real to their believers as the remaining gods are to people today. Religions, societies, cultures evolve and it's ok.
    Last edited by Padme32; 04-11-2013 at 03:45 PM.
    BC: Spring 2000


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    I couldn't have put it better myself, well said Chachadiva.

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