A Slave to the Box

"Hello, *shakes hand* my name is Yvette, and I am a slave to the box..." This is what my second cousin jokingly says to me whenever my mother and I visit her in the western part of the state. This part of my family is strange, because they are so apologetically processed. Not to say I go around patronizing my friends and family about being natural versus being processed, but in the sense that most people I meet who are processes are always trying to half-a$$ transition into becoming natural. This just isn't the case with my cousins.

It's my cousin Yvette and her two daughters Annie and Lice. Yvette has her hair dyed to cover various greys and relaxed to cover various naps, her daughter Annie just wears a sew-in with the left out portion flat iron and Lice who has one of those pixie cut relaxed styles. They use no hint of a natural product in the house. This is compared to my set of women, my grandmother who has locks, my mother who has for the most part always rocked a short fro or grown it out and pressed it and then there is me...you know what I am about. Us three use Black soap, shea butter and other natural goodies ritualistically. So these conversations just turn strange between the two sets of women.

But talking with them made me think, do a lot of women get relaxers because they feel they have to? I mean, do they believe that there will be a tear in the time-space continuum if they don't go to the salon every six weeks and pray to the Gods of Euro-centrica to make their naps go away? I wonder if "slaves to the box" really feel if there is just no other way to deal with their hair and us nappies are just "zzdoin' too murch!"? Do they know of their wrong-doing (not to say that they are wrong per se) but just can't stop? Are we doing too much? Hmm.

Have you seen/known any apologetically processes peeps?

[CinnamonBiscuit]

lol sounds like my female relatives. They truly believe they HAVE to not only get their hair relaxed religiously, but then they also straighten their hair every morning. I got tired of trying to convince them to stop, so now idgaf what they do. As long as they don't try to touch MY hair, we're good.

[MissChelle]

Is the name Lice a nickname/ short for something? I've never heard of that word being used as a name before.

But back to the subject...

Most of the women I know are relaxed. They aren't apologetic about it and are rather forceful to get other people to be permed.

[Claire76]

"Hello, *shakes hand* my name is Yvette, and I am a slave to the box..." This is what my second cousin jokingly says to me whenever my mother and I visit her in the western part of the state. This part of my family is strange, because they are so apologetically processed. Not to say I go around patronizing my friends and family about being natural versus being processed, but in the sense that most people I meet who are processes are always trying to half-a$$ transition into becoming natural. This just isn't the case with my cousins.

It's my cousin Yvette and her two daughters Annie and Lice. Yvette has her hair dyed to cover various greys and relaxed to cover various naps, her daughter Annie just wears a sew-in with the left out portion flat iron and Lice who has one of those pixie cut relaxed styles. They use no hint of a natural product in the house. This is compared to my set of women, my grandmother who has locks, my mother who has for the most part always rocked a short fro or grown it out and pressed it and then there is me...you know what I am about. Us three use Black soap, shea butter and other natural goodies ritualistically. So these conversations just turn strange between the two sets of women.

But talking with them made me think, do a lot of women get relaxers because they feel they have to? I mean, do they believe that there will be a tear in the time-space continuum if they don't go to the salon every six weeks and pray to the Gods of Euro-centrica to make their naps go away? I wonder if "slaves to the box" really feel if there is just no other way to deal with their hair and us nappies are just "zzdoin' too murch!"? Do they know of their wrong-doing (not to say that they are wrong per se) but just can't stop? Are we doing too much? Hmm.

Have you seen/known any apologetically processes peeps?

I don't know about being "apologetic". However the people I know who get their hair "done" do so because of what you said. Basically, they see it as an obligation.

[Beautifully Human]

@ God's of Euro-centrica. I will use that in a sentence one day.

[MommieDearest]

I too am curious about the name "Lice." That word does not conjure up good thoughts especially when the topic at hand is hair...

When I think about it, the amount of processed vs natural women that I know is pretty much a 50/50 split. Of the processed women I know, most of them are "meh" about it. They go to the shop every 6-8 weeks simply because it's "what you do." That's how I was when I was still getting relaxers. It wasn't so much trying to be Eurocentric, it was just what black girls/women did to manage their hair. So in essence, I was a "slave to the box" too, but definitely NOT apologetic. LOL!!

[LBellatrix]

Perhaps "Lice" is pronounced "Lis" because it's short for Alice? Just a guess...

Also, I'm still at "gods of Euro-centrica"...

I've met a handful of apologetic non-naturals -- either they were relaxed or they wore a weave "but I'm natural underneath." I think it says a lot about this latest natural hair turn of events that you have women who feel like they have to defer to naturals as though we're somehow superior to them...

Also, cosigning MommieDearest on relaxers being "just what you did/do"...back then it didn't make sense to apologize for something that everyone else was doing...

Is the name Lice a nickname/ short for something? I've never heard of that word being used as a name before.

But back to the subject...

Most of the women I know are relaxed. They aren't apologetic about it and are rather forceful to get other people to be permed.

Her name is Ellyce prononced (el-lease) I say Lice for short, I also call her mother Vette.

[underthehood]

Also, cosigning MommieDearest on relaxers being "just what you did/do"...back then it didn't make sense to apologize for something that everyone else was doing...

I third that, creamy crack is still the status quo. But not as much as it used to be, which is where I think the apologies come in.

Do they know of their wrong-doing (not to say that they are wrong per se) but just can't stop? Are we doing too much? Hmm.

No, I don't think we're doing too much, it's just hard to break out of the status quo I guess.

And I don't know about the rest of you, but its only in extenuating circumstances that I apologize when I think I'm right. Just sayin!