People touching your hair

**Lord Edin** · 06-06-2013, 08:07 PM

The lovely ladies at Un'Rruly are holding a public art exhibit in which you can touch their hair? lol Visit http://un-ruly.com/you-can-touch-my-hair/#.UbDp_0CTjX0 to learn more about the exhibit.

Are you ok with people touching your hair?Yeah? No? why?
Personally, I don't care as long as the person touching it doesn't attempt to rip my scalp off.

**gmitche6** · 06-06-2013, 08:15 PM

No, I absolutely HATE people touching my hair. Idk why it bothers me so but it does I suppose it's because it's my space and your trying to enter without permission.

**Cerendipity** · 06-06-2013, 08:36 PM

If I don't know you, don't touch any part of me.

**Mikalia42** · 06-06-2013, 08:55 PM

ABSOLUTELY NOT. That is, unless you want your fingers broken.

**Intellexual** · 06-06-2013, 09:09 PM

If I still had my hair grown out, I think I'd be okay with participating in an exhibit like that for other blacked people. I wouldn't be okay with being a captive instrument for whites and miscellaneously colored folk's racial curiosity. To me, it would be too uncomfortable and problematic to be molested and/or fondled while someone is indulging or even reveling in the privilege of their ignorance.

I don't do anything that could feel like I'm at a picnic or on an auction block at the leisure of white folk. Similarly, I tell my sisters to not date or marry someone who is non-blacked if they're going to be shattered if they get called a ****** or anything of the sort. That's not a far fetched possibility and it's not worth playing those games if you can't handle playing fair or the game is rigged against one or the other party.

As for a hands on teaching opportunity for other blacked folk, I feel like even people smugly reveling in their ignorance could more readily gain something substantive to their own assimilated yet ongoing identity and/or struggle. It's not likely an idle curiosity even if they try to portray it as such. I could pull it off by having everyone ask me permission even if I'm one of the designated models and saying no based on my own stated and dynamic reasons.

As for being touched on, I get upset if someone tries to manipulate my liberties/physical space by putting their hands or selves otherwise over/near mine to try to stop me from gesticulating or if someone tries to walk up on me to impress their outrage upon me and such. Whether people try to impose upon me physically as delicate victims or to dominate me with force or intimidation, I'm inclined to speak up or escalate otherwise. Everyone has to ask me permission and I try to offer others the same respect.

**KoilyLocGirl** · 06-06-2013, 09:50 PM

I don't like it.

You may get a pass if you're my sibling, parent or s/o, but said pass is not guaranteed.

Ask permission first and we'll take it from there.

**KnottyAuthor** · 06-06-2013, 09:51 PM

I did not think I had issues with people in my hair. But I do. There I said it. But, let me clarify myself.

For the first time a sister-of all people did it to me.

I sported an afro the Friday before my vacation. I was read' 2 go!! And, feeling freedom come upon me so I bucked my regular routine of securing my hair and I let it be free with only a headband on.

Then, it happened.

She came up behind me and stuck both hands in my head and shook my scalp from the roots so much that my hair was moving back and forth in the air. I could feel the ends of my hair swaying side-2-side as she moved my scalp with her finger-tips and I could have screamed!!!

But

I was in my cube at work and I couldn't scream. So I stood up and faced off face-2-face and abruptly changed the subject from my hair to a work topic. But 5 days later, I can still feel her fingers in my head and I feel so violated. OMG. I never thought I'd feel this way but I do. I've always welcomed curious onlookers to 'gently' touch my hair. It's usually just the ends that get touched. But, not this time. I felt molested, yuck!

The-next-time, it WILL be different! *still in recovery

**Cerendipity** · 06-06-2013, 09:57 PM

A coworker did this to me years ago. Shes natural and loc'd up. To this day I can feel her nails on my scalp.

Nope, not anymore. Don't touch me in any shape, form or fashion! I'm so >.< with you.

Originally Posted by KnottyAuthor

I did not think I had issues with people in my hair. But I do. There I said it. But, let me clarify myself.

Until last week when others 'touched' my hair. But it wasn't the type of touching that I'm used to. But, for the first time a sister-of all people did it to me.

I sported an afro the Friday before my vacation. I was read' 2 go!! And, feeling freedom come upon me so I bucked my regular routine of securing my hair and I let it be free with only a headband on.

Then, it happened.

She came up behind me and stuck both hands in my head and shook my scalp from the roots so much that my hair was moving back and forth in the air. I could feel the ends of my hair swaying side-2-side as she moved my scalp with her finger-tips and I could have screamed!!!

But

I was in my cube at work and I couldn't scream. So I stood up and faced off face-2-face and abruptly changed the subject from my hair to a work topic. But 5 days later, I can still feel her fingers in my head and I feel so violated. OMG. I never thought I'd feel this way but I do. I've always welcomed curious onlookers to 'gently' touch my hair. It's usually just the ends that get touched. But, not this time. I felt molested, yuck!

The-next-time, it WILL be different!

**Dovechild20** · 06-06-2013, 10:13 PM

Sigh. I just cant. Ive let people touch gently before, but to just sit there and be open for any and everyone to come investigate and explore my hair?

I cant.

**Mikalia42** · 06-06-2013, 10:14 PM

Originally Posted by KnottyAuthor

I did not think I had issues with people in my hair. But I do. There I said it. But, let me clarify myself.

Until last week when others 'touched' my hair. But it wasn't the type of touching that I'm used to. But, for the first time a sister-of all people did it to me.

I sported an afro the Friday before my vacation. I was read' 2 go!! And, feeling freedom come upon me so I bucked my regular routine of securing my hair and I let it be free with only a headband on.

Then, it happened.

She came up behind me and stuck both hands in my head and shook my scalp from the roots so much that my hair was moving back and forth in the air. I could feel the ends of my hair swaying side-2-side as she moved my scalp with her finger-tips and I could have screamed!!!

But

I was in my cube at work and I couldn't scream. So I stood up and faced off face-2-face and abruptly changed the subject from my hair to a work topic. But 5 days later, I can still feel her fingers in my head and I feel so violated. OMG. I never thought I'd feel this way but I do. I've always welcomed curious onlookers to 'gently' touch my hair. It's usually just the ends that get touched. But, not this time. I felt molested, yuck!

The-next-time, it WILL be different!

This reminds me of when I was working on a video shoot as stylist's assistant couple of years ago. I wore my hair in a wash and go. I was watching the Director do his thing, and all of a sudden I feel fingers on my scalp and a light tug on my hair. Turned around with the nastiest look on my face to see the culprit slash casting director (loc'd) and director's wife (natural). Director's wife looks at her like "whutdafuqyadodatfo". Casting director goes "Is that your real hair texture?" Insert facepalm *here* and gratitude when the director's wife answers "yes, that's her real texture, she doesn't texlax, all natural". I swear to this day, if the director's wife (who's awesome as hell) wasn't there, that woman would've had her eye sight reduced 50%.

If I don't know you or like you, keep your damned hands out of my hair and OFF MY PERSON.